A/N: Ahh, I've finally finished another Captain Simian fanfic, I've been wanting to use a title that spoofs "The Great Escape" but there aren't much in the story that spoofs the film. Oh well. Anyways, I had this dream one night when I fell asleep watching the Discovery Kids channel and these 3 human teens were recruits to the Primate Avenger. So, I've been trying to figure out how they became recruits and how they can assist them, and eventually I figured it out. I really did not want to make them no-powered comic relief sidekicks like Wendy, Marvin & Wonderdog from "Superfriends" (I lost interest in that show and became into Justice League). Anyways, references are at the bottom, I've been lazy about adding them to my latest fics.
Disclaimer: "Captain Simian & the Space Monkeys" is owned & (c) its original owners, while the Clonies, teens & villains belong to me. Check my DeviantArt account for what the teens look like. Now enough comin' outta me, on with the show!
The Great Ape-Scape
Part one
The Primate Avenger starship is casually cruising through space, Hoku is sitting up on Captain Simian's chair armrest, staring out the big window at outer space.
Captain Simian: Space. It's big, isn't it?
Hoku doesn't answer, she just sits there and continues to stare.
Captain Simian: Hoku?
He waves his hand in front of her vertically, that doesn't bring her back to reality. He then scoops her in his arms.
Hoku: (Squeaks)
Captain Simian: Anything interesting I should know about?
Hoku: Nope.
The Captain sits in his chair with Hoku on him as he strokes her.
Captain Simian: What were you staring at?
Hoku: Nothin'. Is there anything beyond the stars & space?
Captain Simian: Who knows, Hoku? No one's ever traveled far enough to find out what is beyond time & space. Even us.
The cat goes off, and comes across Dr. Splitz in his work space whom just came across something interesting.
Dr. Splitz: Fascinating.
Hoku: What is, Doc?
Dr. Splitz: For your information, Hoku, I've discovered a way to reconnect the GLOP generator.
Splitzy: AKA the gadget that can bring us back to Earth & bananas.
Orbitron: And of course, cheese.
Hoku: Really?
Dr. Splitz: Yes. You see, one must be connected to the internet and type in an exact sequence of keys followed by control-alt-delete. It can also be used to bring someone from Earth to here.
Splitzy: But it's a one in a million chance of finding the code.
Hoku: And you didn't find it, did ya?
Dr. Splitz: Sadly, no.
Splitzy: It's a one in a million chances o' happenin'.
He continues with work as Hoku looks over his shoulder, Doc isn't one for that so he tosses one of her toys which she starts to beat up. Meanwhile, on a very distant planet, this one is the Space Monkeys wish to return to, Earth, 3 young teenagers, a blonde boy (Chris), a brown-haired boy (Russ) and a Chinese-American girl (Serenity) have just arrived at Russ's house, Chris opens his laptop and starts it on the coffee table.
Russ: Okey-dokey. Now, who would like to do what?
Chris: I thought we agreed that we're gonna watch stuff on YouTube.
Russ: Oh yeah. I forget stuff easily. Anyway, yeah, we are. Since my dad's using the computer downstairs and the internet's on the fritz for mine & my mom's, so, we'll use Chris' laptop.
Chris: That's right, I'll just get us connected.
He plugs in the net wire and the laptop starts connecting.
(Phone rings)
Russ: Aw the phone. Don't nobody go nowheres 'til I get back.
Chris: Oh, uh, where's your bathroom?
Russ: Top of the stairs, make a left.
Chris: Thanks man.
The boys leave as Serenity stays behind and gets out a comic book from her bag. While none of them are looking, Russ's cat gets on the coffee table and starts beating up a piece of lint he found. But at the same time, types in the code Dr. Splitz mentioned.
Dr. Splitz VO: One must be connected to the internet and type in an exact sequence of keys…
Just then, Russ & Chris return and see the cat.
Russ: Pharaoh, would you get out of here?
Pharaoh the cat leaves as the 3 see the weird typing on the keyboard.
Chris: Dang, it froze. I hate when it does that.
Dr. Splitz VO: Followed by control-alt-delete.
Which is just what Chris does. In a flash of sparks & explosions, the 3 kids are sucked into the laptop. The next thing the kids knew, they're in a deserted wasteland in front of a 22 inch TV.
Russ: (Groans) What happened?
Chris: I haven't the slightest clue.
Serenity: I don't see anything but wasteland.
Russ: Well, we might as well have a look around, see if we see anything in general.
The trio goes off, once Serenity gets up, she finds something sparkling in the sand. She picks them up and realizes they're 4 gold rings; one with a blue jewel & wave symbol, another with a green jewel & mountain symbol, the other with a red symbol & flame symbol and the last with a yellow jewel & cloud symbol.
Serenity: Ooh, pretty.
She puts them in her pocket and continues with the guys. Meanwhile, the Primate Avenger lands on the same asteroid, the Space Monkeys come out.
Captain Simian: All right, we'll split up and scout the area for any of Rhesus 2's Ganglia robots. Gor & Mahina, you guys go that way. Dr. Splitz & Clio, that way. Domino & Spydor, that way. Shao Lin, Hoku & I'll go this way. Flip out!
The crew split up in separate direction. On the other side of the asteroid, the 3 teens are still looking around, that is until something behind a rock sees them.
Voice: (Chuckles)
The 7' tall blue dude then jumps out of nowhere in front of them.
Kids: Aah!
Guy: Well, well, well, looky what I found.
Russ: Hey man, what's the idea?
Guy: That's Sheriff Jufyn to you, and you three are under arrest for entering the asteroid without a permit. That's 3 years time.
Chris: What? It wasn't our idea to come here!
Jufyn: Resisting arrest, 2 more years.
But before he can take them away…
Chris: Hey look! Someone's tearing off mattress tags!
Jufyn: Where!?
He turns around looking for anyone tearing off mattress tags.
Jufyn: Wait a minute…
He turns back and sees the kids running off.
Jufyn: Ooh, that's the third time this week I've fallen for that. Come back here, you puny squirts!
They head him off in a canyon, they split up and leave him confused.
Jufyn: Uh… (growls)
The trio has climbed up the canyon and Jufyn sees them.
Jufyn: Aha!
Serenity: (Screams)
Russ: C'mon!
The three run off in search of a place to hide. While Jufyn climbs the canyon, the three come across the Primate Avenger.
Chris: Quick, we'll hide in there!
Russ: And how do you suggest we get in?
Chris: That small hatch looks big enough for us to crawl through, and it looks like it can be pushed open.
Serenity: Well, whatever we decide, it'd better be quick!
So, Russ gets on Chris' shoulders and he reaches up to the trash hatch, he opens it a little but it's too high to be open fully.
Both: (Grunting)
Russ: I can't open it fully! It's too high!
Serenity: Hurry, Russ! Ah! I got it!
She brings over a rock about the size of a footstool, Chris steps onto it and Russ opens the hatch!
Russ: I got it!
Chris: And not a minute too soon! I'm dying!
Serenity: And here comes Doofus T. Injustice!
Jufyn is just climbing over the edge as Russ gets in through the hatch and helps the others in through, Chris closes it.
Jufyn: (Growls)
Just before he can pry the hatch opens, the Space Monkeys & Clonies return and board through the front. As the ship is blasting off, Jufyn hangs onto the ship. The Space Monkeys see this on their screen.
Captain Simian: What's he doing? We'll get him off with Nectarine Monkey Omega Twelve!
Gor: Hold on real tight!
He makes the ship twirl like a top, everyone in the ship is bracing themselves. Even the humans. But in a second does Jufyn let go of the ship and start falling.
Jufyn: (Screaming)
A second later, the ship returns to normal.
Captain Simian: Uh Hoku, claws.
Hoku: Oh. Sorry Cap. (removes claws from Simian's leg)
Orbitron: If I had a stomach, I'd be nauseous.
Captain Simian: Damage report?
Dr. Splitz: Ship seems to be in decent condition.
Spydor: Whoa, check out the whole viewer.
All: (Gasping)
Captain Simian: Well, I'll be a space monkey's uncle.
They see in the cargo hold the three humans, huddling together.
Spydor: Humans. How'd they get there?
Mahina: And how come we didn't see them when we came in?
Clio: They're in the back hatch, Mahina. We came in through the front.
Captain Simian: I hate stowaways, Gor & I'll go to the cargo bin.
The 2 head off towards the cargo hold. At the same time, Chris & Serenity start to come around and get on their knees.
Serenity: Whew! We made it.
Chris: (Pants) Thank Heaven. Thanks for helping save my butt, Serenity.
Serenity: Don't mention it, Chris. You weren't so bad yourself.
Chris: We've only known each other for 2 days and we already make a good team.
Serenity: Yeah, we do.
They help each other up, Russ then opens his eyes and gets onto his knees.
Russ: I'm safe. I'm alive!
Just then, the 3 see Gor standing before them with his eyes glowing red.
Russ: I'm going to die.
Gor: (Growls, roars)
Russ & Chris duck & cover while Serenity stands her ground.
Russ & Chris: (Whimpering)
Gor then cools off as the Captain comes.
Captain Simian: I'll handle this, big guy.
He notices that Serenity wasn't phased.
Captain Simian: Wow, I'm impressed you stood up to him.
Serenity: It'll take more than that to scare me.
Captain Simian: Check.
The guys get back up as the Captain turns to them.
Captain Simian: All right. Who are you guys? How'd you get here? And what are you doing on my ship?
He jabs his finger in Russ' chest as he speaks.
Russ: It's not polite to point. (shoves Chuck's hand away)
Chris: You want those answered in order?
Russ: Uh, how we got here is complicated to explain. And we were hiding out in here 'cause some weirdo was after us.
Captain Simian: So, (grabs Russ by his shirt front) you're the reason that maniac was on the ship.
Russ: Hey careful, Cheeta. Can I please have my shirt back?
Captain Simian: Oh yeah. Sorry. (releases Russ)
That's when Chuck sees something about Russ.
Captain Simian: Wait a second, you look familiar. Have we met?
Russ: I doubt it, I think I'd remember meeting a 5 foot tall talking chimpanzee.
Chris: Along with a 7 foot gorilla.
Captain Simian: Check. You can explain the rest back on the bridge.
The Captain & Gor lead the humans towards the bridge. Meanwhile, on the asteroid, the Sheriff comes to the prison and to the warden in his office. The warden's face is either off-screen or hidden by shadows.
Jufyn: Warden sir, I found new fugitives but I lost them.
Warden rough Texan accent: (Growls) How did y'all lose 'em, Sheriff?
Jufyn: They escaped in a starship, I tried to hold on but they shook me off.
Warden: Well then, take the fleet and get them back.
Jufyn: Uh, how do we do that?
Warden: I don't care how…just get them back, PDQ!
Jufyn: Yes, Warden sir.
He leaves as the warden sits back in his chair. Back on the Primate Avenger, the Space Monkeys, Clonies & humans are together.
Captain Simian: Well, I'm Captain Chuck Simian of the Primate Avenger. They're my crew; Shao Lin, Spydor, Gor-illa, Dr. Splitz and Splitzy, also Orbitron.
Orbitron: Thank you, no autographs please.
Captain Simian: They're the Clonies; Hoku, Clio, Mahina & Domino.
Hoku goes to Serenity and rubs against her leg.
Hoku: (Meows)
Serenity: Oh, a kitty. I love kitties.
It's obvious, she doesn't care that Hoku is a semi-anthro. She crouches down and starts petting her.
Hoku: (Purring)
Dr. Splitz: Fascinating.
Splitzy: Y'all made a friend.
Serenity: Yeah, I'm often called a cat whisperer for I befriend strange cats easily.
Captain Simian: Check. It's a cat person thing. And you guys are?
Russ: I'm Russ. They're Chris & Serenity.
Captain Simian: Russ. Is your last name Simmons?
Russ: Yeah.
Captain Simian: I thought you looked familiar, I knew your granddad, Prof. Simmons Sr. from my NASA days. But however did you guys get here?
Russ: I'm not completely sure how, my cat accidentally typed up something weird.
Chris: I thought the thing froze so I did control-alt-delete. The next thing we knew, we were on that asteroid.
Dr. Splitz: Of course, the GLOP code. When one is connected to the internet, they must put in a sequence of keys followed by control-alt-delete.
Splitzy: Your cat just discovered the secret code we've been lookin' for.
Serenity picks Hoku up and cradles the cat in her arms.
Dr. Splitz: Serenity. Unusual name for a young man.
Serenity: Because I am no man. I'm a girl!
She puts Hoku down and storms off. Because of her short haircut, Serenity is often mistaken for the opposite gender.
Dr. Splitz: Oh, my mistake. It's a beautiful name for a lovely girl.
Splitzy: Shows how much you know, egghead. I knew she was a girl all along.
Dr. Splitz: Oh, don't flatter yourself.
Shao Lin goes to Serenity whom is in front of the giant windows.
Shao Lin: Serenity…
Serenity: (Sighs) People often mistake me for a boy. It gets annoying after a while.
Shao Lin: We understand how you feel. But as long as you're confident with who you are, it doesn't matter what others think.
Serenity: Thanks, Shao Lin.
Shao Lin: Certainly.
Chris notices Gor & Spydor with their backs turned, they refuse to socialize with the humans.
Chris: What's up with them?
Captain Simian: They've had bad experiences with humans.
Gor: Humans hunted me. I don't like humans.
Spydor: They're not exactly my top ten either, I used to belong to a nasty, abusive organ grinder.
Russ: I understand, when someone or something has given you a hard time, you take a dislike to them.
Just then, Jufyn has arrived in a smaller ship with several cockroach goons following the Primate Avenger.
Jufyn: That's the ship, you know the drill.
Goon #1: Right-o, Sheriff. When you give the signal, we keep the Monkeys busy and you get the fugitives.
Aboard the Primate Avenger, most of the Space Monkeys, the Clonies & humans are getting to know each other. Russ is with Captain Simian in dark a room they're at a table & an overhead light over them as the only light.
Captain Simian: So Russ, you say your cat brought you here.
Russ: Yeah, it was all a mistake. I swear.
Captain Simian: Check. Well, that still doesn't excuse you from intruding on my ship.
Russ: Hey, don't blame me for that, it was Chris' idea to hide in here.
Captain Simian: Maybe so, but I don't care for stowaways. So, until I figure out your actual rank, you & the others earn your keep aboard here.
Russ: Y'mean, you're not gonna give us to that whacko wannabe sheriff?
Captain Simian: Of course not. I'm not that kind of monkey.
Russ: Whew, that's a relief.
Serenity is with Shao Lin & Hoku in her dojo. Serenity takes the rings out of her pocket.
Hoku: Ooh, those are pretty.
Serenity: Yeah, aren't they? I almost forgot about them 'til now.
Shao Lin: Serenity, where did you get these?
Serenity: I found them on the asteroid when the guys & I arrived.
Shao Lin: I sense there's more to these rings than what appears.
Serenity: As my grandma says "Some things aren't always what they seem".
At another part of the ship, Chris is in Dr. Splitz's workspace, while Doc Splitz is working, Chris sits in a desk chair with his feet on a consol & Clio on him. He eats Hempzels (pretzels made from hemp seeds and have a peanut butter filling) and shares a couple with Clio.
Clio: Mm, these are good.
Chris: They are. Aren't they?
Clio: Yeah. Hey, I'm sorry about Gor & Spydor.
Chris: That's O.K., when people treat creatures badly, they treat people badly back.
Clio: Exactly.
Dr. Splitz comes over after hearing the conversation.
Dr. Splitz: You are quite right, Christopher.
Chris: It's Chris.
Dr. Splitz: Yes, yes. As an old saying goes…
Splitzy: Y'all mess with the animal kingdom, it kicks your butt. (steals Hempzel & eats it)
Dr. Splitz: Well, that's sort of how it goes.
Chris/Clio: (Snigger)
Chris: I like Splitzy's way better.
Clio: Ditto. Though, you guys aren't that different in some ways.
Chris: Yeah, apes like orangutans & gorillas are close relatives of humans, we're members of the primate family.
Dr. Splitz: Also orangutans have 95 of the same DNA as humans.
Chris: That's right, brothers! (holds hand out)
Splitzy: Put 'er there, brother. (shakes hands with Chris)
Meanwhile, Jufyn's ship attaches itself to the bottom of the ship, saws a hole and an entire fleet of Jufyn's goons board the ship. The crew notices.
Captain Simian: Cute, more unwanted guests.
Russ: Hey, we can help.
Captain Simian: You can help us most by staying here.
Russ: How's sitting on our butts going to help anyone?
Domino: He's got a point, Cap.
Captain Simian: Domino please, I'll handle this. (places hands on Russ' shoulders) Russ, I can't risk you & the others getting hurt, you'll be safer here. It's only for a little while, I promise.
Russ: (Groans)
Captain Simian: We'll talk later. Flip out!
The Space Monkeys head off towards the bad guys as the Clonies stay with the kids. Russ isn't very thrilled, he sits in front of the big windows as Domino comes to him.
Russ: Man, while the Space Monkeys are kicking butt, we have to sit on our butts. What kind of rank is that?
Chris: Hey, sitting on your butt seems like my kind of job.
Serenity: Chris, you're not helping.
Chris: Sorry.
Russ: I just feel so useless doing so.
Domino: Don't feel bad, Russ. The Captain thought at first we weren't ready to fight bad guys.
Russ: Yeah?
Domino: Yup, that was until we saved them and proved ourselves that we're very capable crewmates.
Russ: Thanks Domino.
Domino: No prob. What else are friends for?
Russ: (Chuckles)
Domino sits on Russ' lap. Suddenly, something eats away at the bridge floor, then Jufyn appears at the hole!
Jufyn: Aha!
Serenity: It's you again!
Hoku: Don't worry, Serenity. We'll protect you, right guys?
Domino: Right.
Mahina: (Growls)
The Clonies fight off Jufyn, but he's too strong for them, plus he has a hand-held phaser.
Clonies: (Snarling)
Jufyn: Oh yeah?
He fires his phaser, he hits Domino and he's down, he fires at Hoku but she keep dodging.
Hoku: Hey phaser, phaser, phaser. Zing! (sing-song) Missed me, missed me, now ya gotta kiss me!
(Phaser clicks)
Jufyn bops the phaser that isn't working, he then throws it and it hits Hoku's head.
Hoku: Ow!
She's down, just when Jufyn takes the kids in his arms, Mahina & Clio try their best. Clio's head butt, but she is whacked back into the wall.
Clio: Aah! (groans)
Mahina: Clio! (snarls)
She goes in and bites Jufyn's leg.
Jufyn: YEOW!
Russ: Go Mahina!
Jufyn shakes her off, while Clio calls the Space Monkeys.
Clio: Hey guys, we could use some help here.
Captain Simian: We're a bit busy, right now, Clio.
Clio: But I really think we need some backup.
That's when Jufyn throws Mahina off his leg, she crashes into Domino.
Both: Oof!
Jufyn: (Activates communicator) Enough of them, I've got what I need.
He returns to his ship and flux repairs the hole automatically. The Space Monkeys return a second later.
Captain Simian: Why'd they run? Guys!
Shao Lin scoops Hoku in her arms as Gor takes Domino & Mahina and Splitzy takes Clio.
Spydor: Guys, you O.K.?
Clio: Yeah, we're fine. Right guys?
Hoku: I'm cool.
Mahina: Ditto.
Domino: (Shakes himself) Yup.
Captain Simian: What happened?
Hoku: The weird dude who grabbed the ship suddenly appeared and he took the new guys!
Clio: We tried to stop him, honest we did.
Shao Lin: We know you did, Clio.
Captain Simian: What matters most is getting the new guys back. Back to the asteroid!
The Primate Avenger turns around and goes back to the asteroid. There, Jufyn brings the 3 humans to his high-security prison and dumps them in the rock yard. He shoves them and Russ & Serenity fall to the ground.
Both: Oof!
Jufyn leaves as Chris helps the two back up.
Chris sarcastically: Nice guy.
Serenity: I'll say.
Voice: Psst. Hey, you three.
Russ: Who, us?
Voice: Shh. C'mere a sec.
They go over to the alien who looks a lot like the creatures from "Alien" beckons them.
Chris: S'up?
Alien New Yorker accent: Youse guys are new here, right?
Chris: Yeah, I'm Chris, they're Russ & Serenity.
Alien: Well, they call me Smart-O 'cause I've been here longest and know everything that goes on here. But the only way to get around here, or even to survive here is to know what's what.
Russ: Yeah?
Smart-O: 'Fraid so, kid. See him?
Points to another alien whom looks a lot like a Besalisk.
Smart-O: He's called Pipsqueak, but he's the biggest so he's somewhat the boss around here.
Serenity: How come he's called "Pipsqueak" if he's so big?
Smart-O: It's for the irony, doll. That guy there…
He points to a ogre-like creature smashing rocks.
Smart-O: Everyone calls him Rocky 'cause he can smash things with his bear hands. Her…
Points to a female alien who looks like a Figwit.
Smart-O: They call her Shorty, 'cause she's the smallest outta any of us. And there…
Points to an alien who is red-hot & sweaty.
Smart-O: That's Sweat-bomb 'cause he's always sweating and suffering heatstroke.
Serenity: Jeez, poor guy.
Chris: He should be in a hospital, not here.
Smart-O: Yeah. But this place is too cheap to get any health care. He's like that 'cause he's been in the box for ages.
Russ: What's the box?
Smart-O: Just hope you nevah have to find out, kid.
Alien: (Yells)
They see an alien whom is on one knee, he turns over and holds onto his ankle.
Russ: Whoa, what happened to him?
Smart-O: Don't worry 'bout him, that's just Faker. He's always makin' himself seem sick or hurt just to get outta work.
Pipsqueak: Hey.
That's when Pipsqueak comes by to the 4.
Pipsqueak: Who're the new guys?
Smart-O: Oh, hey Pipsqueak. These here are Chris, Serenity & Russ.
Pipsqueak: Yeah? That's a nice necklace, girly.
Serenity: Thanks…I guess.
Pipsqueak: Now, I'm not the jewelry wearin' type, but perhaps my baby sister would like it. Give it.
Serenity: No way!
Everyone: (Gasping)
Pipsqueak: What'd you say?
Serenity: This is my necklace and you nor your sister can have it.
Pipsqueak: Look kid, I don't think anyone's made it clear that I run this joint. So give me the necklace!
Serenity: Bite me!
Pipsqueak: I said, give it!
He & Serenity start a tug-of-war over the necklace. Then Serenity accidentally kicks Pipsqueak, he lets go. Good news is Serenity gets to keep her necklace, but the bad news is the guards see her lying on her back.
Sweat-bomb: You all right?
Serenity: I'm fine.
He helps her up but points to the guards whom are standing before them.
Guard: Well, well, looks who's lying down on the job.
Serenity: What?
Guard #2: We don't like lazy bums, and y'know what happens to those who are lazy?
Serenity: No.
They take Serenity away.
Smart-O: Uh-oh, they'll put her in the box.
Pipsqueak: And she's only been here 5 minutes, that's gotta be a record.
One of the prisoners tosses Serenity a tennis ball, she catches it.
Serenity: Thanks.
Russ then follows the guards unseen, that's when he sees the big metal bins and the guard puts Serenity in it.
Guard: Maybe a few hours in the box would learn ya to behave.
She then begins tossing the tennis ball off the wall and catching it.
Russ thinking: So, that's what the box is. Solitary confinement.
He goes to Serenity's bin and speaks through the air holes.
Russ: Psst, hey Serenity.
Serenity: Russ?
Russ: Don't worry, I'll find a way to free you & everyone else.
Serenity: Please hurry, Russ. I don't know how long I'll last in this thing.
Russ: I will, just hang on.
He goes over to the others.
Russ: I just found out what this box is, it's solitary confinement.
Chris: Cute. What're we gonna do, now?
Smart-O: Well, for one, hope your friend doesn't end up like Sweat-bomb.
Russ: Aside from that, we're all busting outta here, I don't know how but we will find a way somehow, someway.
To Be continued…
References: The title and "The Box" are like that of "The Great Escape", along with Serenity entertaining herself by tosses a tennis ball off the wall.
The GLOP code and how the kids acquired it is similar to in "Freakazoid!" ep. "The Chip" where Mr. Chubbikins (Dexter's cat, sp?) steps on the keyboard and ends up with the pinnacle code.
The bit where Dr. Splitz mistakes Serenity for a boy is like in "Avatar: The Last AirBender" where Iroh mistakes Smeller-Bee for a boy. Also Serenity says "I am no man" like Eowyn said to the Witch King.
When Jufyn is firing his phaser and the Clonies fight him off is similar to Stretch Dude & Clobber Girl's fight against the Collector from the "Simpsons" Halloween short "Desperately Xeeking Xena"
The bits where the teens are in the prison is like in the Rugrats ep. "The Big House."