A.N.: This is a sequel to "Have Yourself a Merry Little Incest". As such, it is just as vulgar, sophomoric, irreverent, blasphemous, etc as the previous. Consider yourself warned. And as before, don't expect fine literature, wit, or anything of the sort. This is the literary equivalent of a Jackson Pollock painting. Yeah, I went there.
In this chapter, we set up the scene - it's nigh Hallowe'en and Alex and Justin have been secretly "dating" for 10 months.
It was nearly a year after Justin and Alex realized their feelings for one another. Their vile, disgusting and horrible incestuous lusts and desires. Specifically, it was 10 months, because it was now October, and Justin and Alex were in the lair, carving pumpkins together.
They had been spending a lot more time together, which lead to this exchange between Jerry and Theresa:
"Say, do you think our son and daughter have been spending more time together recently?" Jerry said to Theresa.
"No, not really," she replied.
"Oh, I didn't think so."
And thus the tradition of lame lampshade hanging continued.
To their credit, Alex and Justin, while loving one another, being attracted to one another, and all the et cetera, they had pretty much the same relationship they had before. Except this time with physical displays of affection. Or perhaps that should be said to be more physical displays of affection because when you think about it they were always hugging and touching one another anyway.
In any event, this means that Alex and Justin still teased and taunted one another quite a bit, although it now occurs to me that I probably should have used indirect characterization here.
Alex looked at Justin's pumpkin.
"What the hell is that?" she asked, confused by the strange and arcane symbol that seemed to have been carved into Justin's pumpkin.
"Man, it's just a Greek letter," he said.
"Why on earth would you do that?" Alex asked.
"So I could have pumpkin pi, naturally."
Justing chuckled, and Alex smacked him.
Then suddenly, there was a flash of light, and standing before Justin and Alex was a familiar-looking Angel.
"Hey, it's our buddy Harold!" Justin exclaimed.
"Yep, that's me, in the flesh," Harold said, removing his cigarette first. "Only you know, not really, having no flesh."
"So what are you here for?" Justin asked. "It's nowhere near Christmas."
"Yeah, well, like I said I put in a word for you with the Big Guy and I have good news for you two fucking lovebirds. And I do mean fucking lovebirds. Seriously, you guys are - well anyway, never mind, I prefer not to think about it. So Head Honcho is considering giving you guys leniency for your sin."
"That's great news! Harold, I could kiss you!" Justin cried.
"Ugh, please don't. That would be uncomfortable for me on many levels, not the least of which is the thing with your fucking sister. And again, I do mean fucking sister."
"What's the catch?" Alex said, narrowing her eyes.
"Well two things," Harold said, nonchalantly. "One is that He's currently only considering it. And the other is that in order to curry His favor, He needs a job out of you."
"Aww, work? Damn," Alex replied.
"Well look, it's only going to take one night and being wizards you two are uniquely suited to perform this duty."
"What is it?" Justin asked.
"As you know," Harold said after taking a long draw on his cigarette. "Samhain is that time of the year when the veil between the material plane and the other planes is thin. Or some shit like that, I don't know, I'm just a fucking herald. All I know is that terribly evil wizards, evil and misguided mortals, and other various magical and mundane creatures, people and sects all perform lots of creepy-ass rituals, sometimes even creepy ass-rituals, and do bad bad things. And your job is to prevent it!"
"What, we have to prevent everyone from doing all that kind of stuff on Halloween?" Alex asked.
"Well no, not everyone, everywhere. It's way too big a job for just a couple of wizards. You'll just be patrolling this general area," Harold explained.
"What general area, exactly?" Justin asked. Harold pulled out a map and unfurled it. It hung floating in the air. Harold then opened up a pointer stick thingy. He pointed at their street with the stick, and a circle appeared on the map.
"Pretty much just within this circle," he said. "It's only a few streets." He handed the map to Justin, as the circle stayed on it for reference.
"I'll get to use all my monster hunting skill," Justin said excitedly.
"And I'll get to use all my...not caring...skill," Alex attempted.
"Just be sure to double-check on any rituals or rites you see being performed," Harold admonished. "There's a difference between evil mortals and mortals dressed in funny clothes putting on an act just for fun."
"How can we be sure?" Justin asked.
"Intention is a large part of it. If they don't intend to cause anything to happen, nothing will."
"Sounds tricky. And how exactly do we stop them?"
"Any way you want. Short of like, killing them or causing extreme property damage, naturally."
"Man, we have to do it the hard way?" Alex whined.
"I know, I know. Though if you do come across any demons, you are free to use any force necessary on them. I doubt you'd be able to kill one, though."
"Right!" Justin said, smiling from ear to ear. It is secretly all good male wizards' desire that they get to fight evil, because males really love fighting stuff, and fighting stuff when you have massive magical power is even cooler. But alas, they rarely get a justified chance to do so.
"Well I'm just glad that it's not for another week," Alex said.
"Come on, Alex!" Justin commanded, headed upstairs. "We have a lot of getting ready to do for it!"
Alex groaned, but followed Justin upstairs.
Harold looked at the carved pumpkins.
"Well, I hope they don't get squashed. But I think if they gourd themselves well, they'll do a vine job."
A.N.: Fun fact: I actually did carve a pi into a pumpkin one year.