My One Companion
(Though this story doesn't actually have anything to do with "Phantom of the Opera", it was inspired by it and the story is similar. I've had this story in my head for a while now and I felt it was time to write it down. WARNING!: This story deals with some dark subject matter such as child abuse. I will not go into explicit detail but I just thought I should warn you before hand. )
Learn to Be Lonely
Child of the wildernessBorn into emptinessLearn to be lonelyLearn to find your way in darknessWho will be there for youComfort and care for youLearn to be lonelyLearn to be your one companionNever dreamed out in the worldThere are arms to hold youYou've always known your heart was on its ownSo laugh in your lonelinessChild of the wildernessLearn to Be lonelyLearn how to love life that is lived aloneLearn to be lonelyLearn to be your one companionNever dreamed out in the worldThere are arms to hold youYou've always known your heart was on its ownSo laugh in your lonelinessChild of the wildernessLearn to Be lonelyLearn how to love life that is lived aloneLearn to be lonelyLife can be lived life can be loved alone
Ch. 1: The Boy In the Cellar
"HUFF! HUFF! HUFF!", my breath came out in wild gasps as I ran through the wheat field, my lungs burning, and legs trembling. "Rebecca!" screamed the beast behind me, his loud footsteps pounding in my head. I leapt across the country road that separated our land from our neighbor's. The old farm house that stood on the left side of us had a storm cellar. When I came to the doors, I threw them open and jumped inside. Hearing my father approaching, I quickly closed the doors and huddled in the dark cellar. "Rebecca! Come here you little whore!" My father growled. There was a loud crash as he threw his beer bottle to the ground. "Where did you go!" he screamed. My whole body shook with fear. I clasped my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming. I couldn't let him hear me. I couldn't be found. "You can't hide forever!" he roared like the beast he was. Then he stomped off.
When I was sure he was gone, I slumped to the ground and let the tears go. "Are you okay?" asked a husky voice. I looked around the dark room for the source. That's when I noticed the scrawny little boy crouched in the darkest corner. He wore a feed bag over his head and he was completely naked except for the dirt that covered every square inch of him. "I-I'm sorry. I…I'll go home now." I squeaked. As I stood to leave, I heard him scurry over. He grabbed my wrist and before I could scream, he covered my mouth with his dirty hand. "Please, don't go." he pleaded. I could see one of his dark eyes through the holes in the feed bag. It was shimmering. It looked like he'd been crying. "Please stay, Miss. I just want to be your friend." he whispered in a pathetic strained voice. Now that he was so close, I could see the deep scratches and bruises that covered him. "Are you okay?" I asked. He bobbed his head stiffly, "Yes, Miss. I'm alright." He saw me looking at his many scars. "They don't hurt anymore." he added weakly. "What's your name?" I asked, sitting on the bottom step on the set of stairs that led into the cellar. "Gerard…and yours?" "Rebecca…but you can call me Becca if you want to." I replied. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I gathered up enough courage to ask, "Why are you wearing that bag over your head?" Without a pause he answered, "I have a bad face." "What do you mean?" I asked. "My face is ugly. That's why my Mommy and Daddy don't want me." He answered sadly, touching his covered face absently. "Can I see it?" I asked, I didn't really expect him to say yes, but he did. He pulled the bag off his head and…you know what? He wasn't lying."
"What did he look like?" asked Dr. Switz, my shrink. "His face was…I guess you'd say…deformed. It was really boney looking and his eyes and cheeks were sunken in. He barely had a nose. He looked like he'd been punched in the face recently, because he had a black eye. It was swollen almost completely shut. I think his lip was split too. There was a little dried blood on chin." I told the good doctor everything I remembered from that first vision of Gerard's twisted face. "Were you afraid?" she asked, scribbling something in her notebook. "Not afraid…more like shocked. I didn't feel like there was any reason to fear him. He was a mistreated kid, just like me. He couldn't help what he looked like." "What happened after that? Did you see him again?" She asked, looking at me over her glasses. A smile twitched the corner of my mouth as countless memories flashed across my vision at once. "He asked if we could be friends. I said yes. I didn't really have friends when I was little. There were kids I played with at school but they weren't real friends. They didn't know what was going on at home. And I was too ashamed to tell them. Sometimes it felt like it was just me and Gerard against the world." "You saw him often, I presume." said Dr. Switz. "Yea, whenever I needed a place to hide or got afraid or even when I just wanted to see him, I snuck over there and we played in that cramped cellar together. We played hide and go seek and other kiddy games and listened to music. His mother played the piano and his father played the violin. You could hear them playing through the floorboards. He really loved music. There was a busted old piano in the cellar. He used to play it sometimes. He'd taught himself. He was pretty good considering that half of the keys wouldn't work." I laughed lightly as I remembered the time Gerard had played "You are My Sunshine" for me in all the wrong notes. Dr. Switz smiled back at me, "Tell me more about Gerard. What kind of abuse did he endure?"
My smile vanished, "His parents were immigrants from France and they were really religious. Gerard said they thought he was a demon and that they'd been cursed with him for getting pregnant with him out of wedlock. They were ashamed so they had him there in the house and paid off the midwives to keep them quiet. They locked him up in that cellar and didn't talk about him. No one knew he existed. I don't think he even had a birth certificate. They beat him for no good reason and barely fed him. They only gave him enough to keep him alive. In their minds I guess torturing their son wasn't as bad murder. I felt really sorry for him. My dad was horrible but at least he treated me like a human being."
"Do you know what happened to Gerard after you were taken away by Child Protective Services?" I shook my head sadly, tears stinging my eyes and guilt burning a hole in my chest. "No I don't. When they came I was so relieved. I just kept my mouth shut. I didn't tell them anything about him. God, I wish I had. I wish I'd said something." I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. "He was my best friend and I just left him there." Dr. Switz handed me some tissues. She was patient with me while I pulled myself together. "I've got an idea." She began, slipping off her glasses. "I think you should go back to your home town and look for Gerard. Try to find out what happened to him. I think that most of this sadness that you are feeling is from this guilt you feel for leaving him. Closure may help cure your depression. What do you think?"
I really didn't know what to think. I hadn't been back to that god forsaken town in ten years. When I left there I had sworn to myself that I'd never go back and now I find out that I might have to. I didn't want to go back, but a then I remembered that last time I'd spoken to Gerard, and before I could stop myself I said, "Yes, I'll go back."
That afternoon when I told my adoptive mother and sister, Carol and Ashley, they looked at me like I'd gone insane. "Do you really think you're ready for that sweet heart?" my mom, Carol, asked. She reached past the Chinese take out and touched my hand. I slid my hand from beneath hers and laid it in my lap. I love my mom but I still don't like being touched in any way, not even by her. I have issues. "You don't even know if this guy's still around." Ashley added. "Ashley!" Mom snapped at her. I looked down at my hands in my lap, ashamed of myself. What kind of friend was I for abandoning him after everything he'd done for me? His parents beat him and deprived him of food. He could very well be dead by now. "I have to at least try to find him. I have to tell him how sorry I am." I said, setting my self-loathing aside. "What will you do if he's dead or something." Ashley asked. I looked up at her blonde head. "I…don't know." I answered miserably. I really didn't know and I didn't want to think about it. No amount of therapy and medication was going to help me if it turned out I'd left him there to die.
I packed my bags for the trip while Ashley sat cross-legged on my bed. "I really hop this helps you, Rebecca." she said, hugging a pillow to her chest. I grabbed a rubber band off my dresser and pulled my thick black hair up in a ponytail. "Me too, Ashley. Could you hand me my red heels?" She reached over the side of the bed and got my shoes. I took them from her and threw them into my wheelie suitcase. "What's with the fancy clothes?" Ashley asked with her wise ass grin. "Nothing." I spat at her, turning to my closet. "But you only wear that little black dress when you have a really hot date? And that's super rare." God, I wanted to slap the teeth out of her annoying teenaged head. "I just want to look nice, is that a crime!" I yelled at her, taking out my favorite pair of jeans from the closet. As I turned around I came face to face with the look I dreaded most. Ashley's "Rebecca's got a boyfriend!"face, that comes on right before she starts singing the dreaded, "K-I-S-S-I-N-G song". "You like him don't you?" she asked, biting her bottom lip. "Sure I do, he was my best friend." Ashley crawled over to the edge of the bed closest to me. "No, I mean you like him, like him. As in, you think he's hot." I threw a shirt at her face, "I do not." She pulled it off and threw it back at me. "Do too! I can tell by that horrified look on your face." I made a growling noise and started rummaging through the bottom of my closet for my stilettos. "So when did this start?" Ashley asked, still not willing to just let it go. I finally found my stilettos and put them in my bag, then I sat down beside her, giving up. "The night before Child Protective Services came. There was a bad storm and I got really scared. I snuck over to his place and he let me stay with him. We sat on his pallet, sharing his blanket, for a while. The rain was beating against the cellar doors. It was all you could hear. I apologized for waking him up but he said he didn't mind. He liked to help me. I don't know what came over me, I just kissed him."
"Say what!" Ashley shrieked. "You kissed him!" I bobbed my head stupidly. "Yea." She calmed herself down and looked at me seriously, "Was that like your first kiss?" I shook my head, "Not technically, but I count it as my first. I know it was his first." I laughed at Ashley as she pretended to swoon. "That's so adorably romantic!" She gave a dramatic pause then she bolted upright. "So what happened next?" I thought back to that night. I remembered he gave me this strange look afterwards, like he didn't know what to do with himself then he brushed my cheek with his hand and leaned in again. I thought he was going to kiss me again, but instead he whispered into my ear, "I'm going to get you away from here. I promise, Becca." We didn't say anything else to each other that night. Sometime or other we fell asleep and the next morning I came home to find that my mom and dad were being carted off to jail. "Nothing happened" I answered, Ashley, lost in my own thoughts, "I just went home and the next day I was gone. That was the last time I saw him."