Most of the time, Milo got hurt. Not "most of the time he did this or that," or even "most of the time when he left the house," but just… Most of the time. He got hurt incredibly often for someone who was thirteen years old, and he had been hurt incredibly often for someone who was one, two, three, four… You get the idea.
He didn't really scar easily, either. Whenever a scar developed, it was because of something big, and he always appreciated the reminder of good times because whenever he got a new scar, he associated it with the people who asked about it or gave him "get well soon" gifts. Never, ever with the pain of what caused it. If he had to deal with permanent marks that reminded him of bad things - Well, he wouldn't be as happy as he is.
And he was happy. He was so, so satisfied with his life, to the point where sometimes he wondered if he shouldn't be. Sometimes he thought about how life would be if he didn't have to deal with Murphy's law, but he always came to the same conclusion: Boring.
So he never cursed pain, he never cursed a scar, and he never ever cursed his curse. And in his sweet ignorant bliss, life was great. He really didn't need a wake up call for something he couldn't control.
But, with his luck, of course he got one.
It was just a science lab on a Monday. Milo was dressed correctly for it, he had brought things that were necessary (like a fire blanket - there was obviously already one in the room, but it was always possible that something would go wrong and he wouldn't be able to access that one) and he was ready to do the project. Something having to do with lighting a wick on a bottle filled with alcohol.
Melissa was across the room, getting the lab paper that she had forgotten to get when she walked in. Zack was already ready to start the lab, and everyone else in the classroom had sort of gravitated to the edges of the room, far away from Milo's team's table.
Milo stood a little ways away from Zack, getting ready to write down the observations of the lab from a safe enough distance that their lab wouldn't get ruined by something going wrong. Unfortunately, he dropped his pencil and, in a moment of pure forgetfulness of his entire life, walked near the table to pick it up.
And that's when there was a small explosion.
Milo fell back from it, his head hitting the table behind them and, right after, the floor. His vision was blurry when he opened his eyes. He heard people fussing, calling the school's nurse and 911 - Nothing he'd never heard before, really. He wondered for a second if he should tell them not to worry, that he had dealt with worse pain than some table hitting his head, but he couldn't because his head was pounding from the noise and he was too busy trying to block out the crying sound -
…Wait, crying?
Milo forced himself upright, to look at the sound, and felt nauseated at the sight of Melissa patting down the fire blanket (Which was his own - The one in the classroom had gotten stuck again) around Zack, who was gritting his teeth and sobbing in pain. Other people in the room were trying to help from a distance, but when Milo was staring at Zack, the entire class got quieter.
He blinked. He opened and closed his mouth. He was suddenly disconnecting himself from the situation, his limbs going numb and his body slumping from how faint he felt. Where he had been hearing people calling emergency personnel before, he could only hear the ringing in his ears and he could only see Zack trying to keep himself from crying while Melissa was still terrified, patting down the fire blanket onto their best friend.
Oh. Oh God.
Milo could barely remember being loaded into the ambulance, or being completely unresponsive to the paramedics and the doctors, or being taken to The Murphy Suite, or being left there so the doctors could pay attention to Zack and his much, much more dangerous injury. Milo's mind was racing. Had he ever looked like that? Not the crying, of course, Milo rarely cried and if he did it wasn't ever over pain… But had he ever been near an explosion, been on fire, and ended up with an injury as serious as Zack's? He supposed he must have, but he couldn't remember it - because at this point he was fairly certain he had a small concussion - but there was no way he would be able to forget seeing Zack like that. It was burned into his mind, just like how the fire was burned into Zack's chest, possibly becoming a permanent scar -
And Milo stopped himself. There was nothing he could do to change the fact that Zack was hurt, so he shouldn't brood, right? He just needed to do his best to help Zack to get better whenever he needed help recovering after he got out of the hospital.
But what if he didn't want Milo going near him after all this?
The idea was daunting. If Zack decided he was too dangerous to be friends with, it made sense. He was surely somewhere else in the hospital right now, passed out with some general anesthetic while the doctors looked him over and checked his vitals and administered the proper treatment for his injuries. When he's stuck in the hospital just for being near Milo… What reason is there for him to keep being friends with him?
There's also the fact that Dr. Underwood might not even let Zack hang out with Milo anymore. There was a good chance that she was one of the doctors that would be looking at him and making sure he didn't get worse. Why would she think it'd be safe for her son to hang out with Mr. Everything That Can Go Wrong Will?
Milo hoped deep in his heart that Zack could still be his friend after this. His chest started aching along with his head, and he choked on his emotions for a second before swallowing and leaning deeper into the hospital bed's pillow.
He would have to smother his hope.
When Melissa had turned around, Zack was starting to test light a match to see if it wouldn't light because Milo was there. Milo had stepped forward a bit, and suddenly there was a spark and a short clap. There was a thud as Milo hit his head on the table, and then Zack started screaming.
Melissa ran over in a flash, and everything was a bit of a blur from there - The fire blanket in the classroom had gotten stuck, so Melissa got the one that Milo had in his backpack, and she smothered the fire on Zack's clothes while he stopped screaming and started just sobbing in pain.
She noticed the movement of Milo sitting up in the corner of her eye and turned, her heart breaking at his expression. It was pure, distraught confusion, as if he didn't really believe what he was seeing. He was breathing heavily and shakily and his eyes were fixed on Zack and his injuries.
Then the nurse came in and the paramedics were brought in, and then they were gone.
After Milo and Zack were taken to the hospital, Melissa was left alone at the school because she wasn't like Milo, and she couldn't miss any school even for the sake of knowing how they were going to do with their injuries. So she was stuck in school, having to wait until it was over with to check on how her boys were doing. She did so very anxiously, her leg bouncing and her pen clicking constantly through all her classes.
Everyone knew that paramedics had come to the school earlier, and teachers kept telling Melissa that if she needed to leave class to go to the counselor she always could. Other kids kept coming up to ask her what, exactly, had happened. Everyone assumed that Milo was the one who got hurt, and while he did, it wasn't as bad as Zack. Melissa didn't feel like talking about either of them getting hurt.
"Yo, Melissa -"
"If it's about the lockdown this morning, then yes, Milo was taken to the hospital. And why do you think?" Melissa was surprised when Bradley spoke up for her. He looked just as irritated as Melissa felt, and he glared at the guy who had started asking, before sitting down next to Melissa at her lunch table. He propped his head up on his elbows and groaned, ruffling his hair.
"Today's a big 'Milo' day, don't you think?" Melissa cocked her head at him, almost amused for the first time that day at his frustration. "I mean, everyone's talking about him. Even people who usually avoid mentioning his name. He's handled worse before, so why aren't they talking about like… Zack or something?"
Melissa sighed. "I'm pretty sure most of them are just assuming that he's the one that locked down the school with the paramedics being called. He's usually the only one getting hurt."
Bradley looked down, thought about it, and nodded.
"So do you think they'll be okay?"
Melissa bit her lip. "I really should, but -"
"No, I get it."
The table was empty. Usually it was just Zack, Milo, and Melissa, but now it was just Bradley and Melissa, and neither of them were in the mood to talk or joke or anything, really.
"So, are you going to get lunch?"
"...Nah. Not hungry."
Melissa sighed, again, and ran a hand through her hair. "Me neither."
Melissa was surprised, again, when Bradley offered to come with her to visit Zack and Milo in the hospital.
"You realize, I'm talking - like - Milo Murphy, right? As in, Murphy's law? As in, everything that can go wro -"
"I'm familiar with his condition, Melissa." Bradley crossed his arms and looked down, embarrassed, and tapped his foot, irritated. "I just think, maybe, I should go with you to check on Zack. He seemed like he was hurt pretty bad."
Melissa looked Bradley over for a second, wondering why he would want to go anywhere that Milo was included. But she sighed, grabbed Milo's backpack (which had been left behind by the paramedics when they took her boys) and nodded to Bradley, getting ready to walk to the hospital.
"Wait, are you gonna walk there?"
"What other way is there? I don't really have a car, Bradley. I'm supposed to ride the bus home."
"Well I mean… We could ride my bike." Bradley looked down again, his face red. He shuffled his feet for a second, and Melissa weighed her options. A bike was faster, her feet were already killing her, and probably Bradley would need to take his bike anyways, so…
"Alrighty, then. You'll have to hold Milo's backpack, though."
"Y-yeah." Bradley unlocked the chain on his bike and took Milo's bag from Melissa - and immediately his arm slumped under the weight of the pack.
"What does he put in this thing?!"
"Uh, everything?"
Soon enough, Bradley mounted the bike with Milo's backpack on and Melissa climbed onto the back, taking a helmet out of the backpack and then holding onto Bradley's back by clutching the backpack. She placed her feet on the area a bit behind the pedals. He got his balance with Melissa riding the back, and they were off.
Melissa appreciated how fast Bradley rode. She let the cold air of the late afternoon wash over her and calm her down just a little. She grinned into Bradley's shoulder before stretching her body out and standing over him, capturing the wind with her face and letting it freeze. She felt tears well up in her eyes and she couldn't really tell whether they were from the air in her face or from the stress of the entire day, but she laughed.
"Gosh, I needed this."
She thought she might've heard Bradley chuckle.
When they got into the hospital, the receptionist informed them that both Milo and Zack couldn't be visited at the moment. Melissa thought that she might've heard Bradley sigh in relief, and, again, she was almost amused. She knew Bradley hadn't wanted to have to see Milo on this trip, he was obviously at least a little scared of Murphy's law in the first place. Melissa appreciated that he had extended a bit of effort, though - And she knew that if she had walked all the way here just to be told that she couldn't see her boys, she'd probably have to fight every doctor that got in her way.
The ride had mellowed her out, so she was able to just calmly ask the receptionist how Milo and Zack were doing and not get angry at her when she rolled her eyes and went to ask if she was supposed to just tell this little girl the information on the couple of patients.
Melissa went and sat next to Bradley in the waiting room. He looked up from the magazine he was reading and asked, "So did they tell you how they're doing?"
She sighed and shook her head. "Receptionist went to go ask if she could give me information, which is basically a solid 'No.'"
Bradley was about to reply when Dr. Underwood walked into the doorway and gestured to Melissa to come in. She followed Zack's mom and was entirely ready to get some answers.
"Milo and Zack will both be okay." So much tension left Melissa's body that she almost fainted. "Milo will be able to go back to school soon enough, because he only has a mild concussion. He'll recover easily."
"He always does," Melissa whispered fondly, and Dr. Underwood's mouth quirked up.
"Zack is going to have to stay in the burn section of the hospital for a while though." Her small smile disappeared as her doctorly respectful attitude returned and she was talking about her son now, who had been seriously hurt that day. "He has burns on his chest and neck, and a bit of the glass from the bottle that exploded got stuck in his cheek, so he'll need to stay in bed for the next few days and keep his torso still to avoid popping any blisters. Soon we're going to have to do a skin graft and after he recovers from the surgery, he'll be back in school."
Melissa nodded through the explanation, so relieved that Zack was going to be okay. She had no doubt that Milo would recover easily, but Zack was different, Zack was new and he didn't know much about all of… This.
Melissa waved goodbye to Dr. Underwood and met up with Bradley in the waiting room, then left with him.
"So Zack's gonna need surgery?"
"Yup. They're gonna take some skin from another part of his body and put it over the burns. Milo's had it done before, after a -"
"Eh - I don't wanna hear about it." Melissa chuckled at Bradley's squeamishness. She took his hand, her face bright now that her anxiety had been addressed.
"C'mon, I'll drive the bike this time!"
And she rode so fast that Bradley screamed almost the whole time and once Melissa dropped off him with his bike, he stumbled and fell onto his front yard, staring after her with a goofily shocked expression on his face while she jogged away.
It took awhile for a nurse to finally come into The Murphy Suite to check up on Milo. When the man walked in, Milo shot up so fast his head started spinning, and asked, "Is he okay?!" very loudly.
The nurse was surprised for a moment, before he walked over and told Milo to lay back down on the bed. Reluctantly, the boy laid back down and his head stopped aching as much. "How is he?" He asked again, more calmly.
The nurse smiled, looking a little bit puzzled. "Um, may I ask who you're talking about?"
"Zack. Zack Underwood, is he okay?"
"Oh! Yes, of course. It was a close call, but he'll be doing fine. We just needed to clean him up and bandage -"
Milo slumped back on the bed as the nurse continued his report. All he had heard, all he could hear, "It was a close call." What does that mean? Could his best friend easily had died today? Was he in a stable condition now or would he still need to be watched over? Milo couldn't be upset if - when Zack stopped being friends with him.
"And how about you, Mr. Murphy?"
Milo opened his eyes and stared at the nurse, puzzled.
"On a scale of one to ten, can you rate your-"
"It's a concussion."
"...Just rate your pain, Milo."
Milo got to go back to school the day after the next one, and people kept wanting to ask him about Zack. He was glad for Melissa being there with him, even if he didn't really feel like she should hang out with him at this point either. He didn't feel like getting lectured about it not being his fault because those were all just feel-good words. Nobody could ever deny that things went wrong and people got hurt because Milo Murphy was around. He could come to terms with that, just like he had come to terms with the idea of Zack not hanging out with him anymore. He had even managed to stop thinking about Zack for a few minutes at one point, which was sort of an accomplishment because he wasn't supposed to be stressing himself out.
"So do you think we should visit Zack at four, or should we do our homework and then go visit?"
Milo looked, puzzled, at Melissa, who was raising an eyebrow at him for a response.
"Oh. Oh, I can't go to the hospital today. I need to… uh… help clean up the basement. It's flooded again."
Melissa squinted skeptically, but relented. "Alrighty then. You should go to visit him tomorrow though. I'll bet he wants to see you."
Ha. Bet he doesn't. But Milo smiled and nodded as if he was thankful for Melissa understanding why he couldn't go, even though she didn't.
The receptionist at the hospital took a double take when she saw Melissa walk in. "Ms. Chase, Milo's not in here today."
Melissa laughed. "No, I'm here to visit another friend of mine. Zack Underwood?"
"Oh, right. Of course." She was sheepish for a second before giving Melissa the directions to Zack's room.
When Melissa walked in, Zack was obviously in a little bit of pain, but even more obviously, he was bored. He wore no shirt, only bandages, and a bandage wrapped around his head holding a cotton pad in place. His arms were propped up at his sides with a brace, making it impossible for Zack to do much more than just watch television without being able to control what channel it was on.
He grinned when Melissa walked in. "Hey, Melissa! Can you change the channel for me?"
The television was on some channel that was playing shows for preschoolers at the moment. She smirked and took the remote to start switching channels while Zack approved or denied them.
"Oh, that one looks good. Turn down the volume for me." He looked happy - Not as happy as Milo got when people visited him, mind you, but he was clearly out of his mind with boredom before Melissa had come in. "Is Milo here?"
Melissa shook her head. "He said his basement flooded again. Or something." She took a breath (One that was deep in comparison to most of the breaths she had taken over the past day or so) and reached to touch Zack's hand. When she held it, relief flooded her body and she laughed, just a little.
"What, did I scare you?" Zack smirked. "Surely you've seen worse."
"Well, you're not really Milo Murphy, now are you? I've only ever seen worse on a guy who's used to the worst anyways."
"What happened to him, anyway? I know he came to the hospital too, but I'm still not sure why."
"Banged his head on the table. Got a concussion."
Zack let out a sort of amused "Oh, I see," and chuckled. "He gets hurt a lot, doesn't he?"
"Well, look at yourself, bud."
Melissa saw the smile slipping off of Zack's face.
"I shouldn't have tried to light that match without the teacher's directions, huh? That was really, really stupid of me."
"Yeah, probably." Zack's eyes widened at the affirmation. "Well, do you want me to say it was okay? You got hurt. Just don't feel bad about it."
Zack nodded. Melissa patted his right shoulder comfortingly. He flinched at the touch on his bandaged torso.
Milo avoided going to visit Zack for as long as he could. Melissa believed the fake little stories he told her because he was Milo and it was generally believable that he didn't meet up with her at the hospital because he got caught up in a construction site, even if the truth of it was that he headed home and curled up in a ball under his desk. By the end of the week, though, he was starting to get anxious to see Zack. He hoped that maybe his friend could indulge him and tell him how he was feeling even though it was he who made him get hurt.
He put together a "get well soon" basket and had tried to write a note, but every time he started it he couldn't write much more than just "Sorry," because he didn't want to beg him to stay friends but he still couldn't bring himself to say it was fine if Zack pushed him away.
When he came in with his gifts and was directed to Zack's room, the nervous energy building up was a getting a bit too much to bear. He knew that when he saw Zack he wouldn't be able to talk at all, but Zack would probably understand that. He wasn't prepared to walk in and see him, though.
When he did, his heart caught in his throat and he clutched the straps of his backpack tighter, the gift basket weighing on the arm it was hanging from. Zack was asleep, the brace that kept his arms up that Melissa had mentioned was gone, leaving Zack to look entirely too small and fragile in the hospital bed. He took a shaky breath, set down the gift basket and note, and walked out without saying a word.
He was empty on his way back home. He idly dodged some loose wheels in the road, some tacks, a car at one point. He didn't speak, he hardly remembered even riding home on his bike. What he did remember was when he got to his room and curled up under his desk, he finally started crying.
How could he have let that happen? He could have asked Zack to hand him his pencil, he could have not gotten near him and nothing would've exploded and Zack might be at school with him and Melissa, making quips and being surprised at what Murphy's law could do. But how long would that last? How long would it take for Zack to get hurt in any other way, maybe even fatally? It was good that it happened now, when Zack was able to recover and he wouldn't have to hang around Milo anymore.
Milo sobbed, barely able to exhale as he cried. Would he have to associate a scar with something horrible for the first time in his life? Zack had become one of his best friends over the past year, and he found that imagining him not being his friend anymore still made him choke. The scar would be a symbol of why Zack wouldn't be anywhere near him anymore, and why Zack would have to tell new kids to stay away from Milo.
Yeah. Of course. Zack would keep any kids who just moved there, like he had a year ago, from becoming friends with Milo. He'd pull down the collar of his shirt and say, "Look at this. I got this because of him."
"Him" would be said with the most venomous anger any of those kids had ever heard. People would whisper about Milo (Well, more than they already do) in the hallways and Melissa would also stop hanging out with him, and he'd be alone and he wouldn't hurt anybody anymore -
Milo was getting ahead of himself. Zack was too nice to start spreading rumors about Milo behind his back. Melissa had held out as his friend for years, and he doubted she'd stop now. Probably what would really happen was Zack would pass Milo in the hallway from time to time and avert his eyes, people would ask him how he got the scars and he'd say, "Oh, it's from back when I was friends with Milo!" and everyone would laugh at how unfortunate he was to have had to be friends with the walking disaster.
Milo sighed, swallowed, and let another tear stream down his face. He could handle that.
Melissa went to visit Zack again on Sunday. She invited Bradley this time, who had seemed pleasantly surprised that Milo wasn't coming with. Melissa rolled her eyes and vowed to get him to actually hang out with Milo sometime.
When they got to Zack's room, he looked deep in thought and was staring at a card. Melissa noticed the basket next to him with the "Get Well Soon!" balloon attached to it.
"Oh, Milo did come by?"
Zack looked up at Melissa and Bradley, and then at the basket. "You think it was him? I wondered, but it just showed up in my sleep, so I didn't know."
"That's weird. He usually sticks around until you wake up. What're you looking at?"
"This card was in the basket. You don't think…?"
Melissa took the card from Zack, and Bradley looked over her shoulder. He read, "'Sorry.' Well, that makes sense, right?"
"What?!"
"Well, I just mean - He's Milo! You caught fire because he stepped closer, right?"
"No! I caught fire because I lit the match when I didn't -"
Melissa held her hand up and both Bradley and Zack immediately stood down. Bradley sat down next to Melissa, who was staring at the card and studying the handwriting, even though she could tell easily that it was Milo's. She wondered what it could mean, the first thing she would think is that Milo had blamed himself for Zack's injury, but he had seemed fine at school the past few days. His only problems were easily excusable with the fact that he was recovering from a concussion.
Both Zack and Bradley were waiting for her to talk.
"He hadn't seemed upset at school this week, but…" Melissa noted the fact that the card had been indented by other messages Milo had tried to write to Zack. They were illegible, almost. "He might've blamed himself. For what happened."
"...Why wouldn't he?" Zack growled at Bradley, who backed down again.
Melissa sighed and continued studying the card. All it said was "Sorry," but there was evidence that Milo had spent much more time just crafting different letters on different papers on top of the card. She finally was able to make out one line.
She read it out loud. "'It's okay if you don't want to be friends with me anymore', and I think this says 'I understand'? He's pressing down so hard on the paper. He started a lot of notes."
Zack was dumbfounded. "But - He saw me trying to light the match before the teacher told us to, right? Why would he think it's his fault?"
Bradley chimed in. "Everyone does. Things don't just 'happen naturally' when Milo's around."
It looked like Zack was about to argue again when Melissa nodded. "Well, all our lives he's been making things go wrong - It's not really something anyone talks about -" She gave Bradley a look "- But most of the time, people are thinking it."
"You guys know that's unfair, right?! He can't control any of that!"
"I know very well he can't control-"
"And what's that mean, 'Don't want to be friends with me'?! Of course I want to stay friends with him! Does he expect me to just leave him alone because of a little - a little sunburn?! Who does he think I -"
"Zack, it's not really far-fetched."
"...What?"
"Plenty of people aren't even allowed to talk with Milo because their parents are nervous about their safety. Others were friends with him for a little while, but then got hurt and always avoided him. He's just trying to make sure that you don't get trapped in a friendship you don't want."
Zack's brow furrowed, trying to make sense of it. "I - I'm sorry, you guys… Can you go? I have to think about… This."
Melissa hoped she hadn't upset him, but she was just telling him the truth. People had abandoned Milo before - His expectation wasn't a reflection on Zack's character as much as it was just how his life had been.
She hated that.
Melissa and Bradley were pushing their bikes, opting to keep a calm, silent company instead of just speeding through the city haphazardly like they had when they visited the first time. It was a nice day; late morning was turning into noon and it was quiet. Well, relatively. The forecast expected it to begin to snow within the next week, which meant that everyone was getting ready for the ice to cover the roads and there was a bustle in the streets in preparation, but nothing was going wrong with the planning like it often did.
"Maybe Milo hasn't left the house today?" Bradley broke the silence and Melissa stared at him. "Nothing's breaking. Do you think he slept in this morning?" He chuckled, and Melissa continued her staring in disbelief.
"You aren't blaming him for Zack's burns too, right?"
"Well, wasn't it his conditi-"
"He couldn't have controlled that, Bradley!"
"I know he can't control it, but -"
"But what?! He's a danger to mankind?! So he should just be locked away so no one else gets hurt?! He's a human too, Bradley!"
Melissa was seething, and Bradley was starting to back down. "I didn't mean it like that, I - I just… Wow, this really… Isn't a defendable viewpoint, is it…"
"No. No it isn't."
"I'm… sorry, Melissa, I just wasn't thinking a lot about it, I guess."
She walked ahead of him for a moment, before she mumbled, "So did you blame Milo for other things too? Like when I broke my arm in second grade, or -"
"I blame Milo for a lot of things that I shouldn't."
Melissa looked at him, but he was avoiding eye contact. He scratched his upper arm. "He's a bit of an attention hog… Sometimes."
Melissa started laughing, and Bradley jumped back in surprise.
"What's that mean? You want the class to pay you as much attention as they do Milo?"
"Y-yes?" She howled with laughter again. Bradley wasn't as friendly a person as Milo was. She knew he'd get absolutely sick of having to talk to people if he was as popular as Milo.
It took her a minute to catch her breath. "Sorry, it just… I didn't think you of all people would want to be popular. You're not incredibly friendly."
Bradley scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Well, I just think it might be nice…" His voice got quiet. He hugged his arms to his stomach. His face was red. "If people… liked me."
Melissa sombered. She put her hand on his shoulder and he flinched, like how Zack had a few days earlier. Well, except this time she wasn't touching an unhealed wound through cloth.
"I like you."
Bradley blushed and turned away, and Melissa's mouth quirked up in an amused smirk when she realized he was trying to hide the smile that threatened to creep onto his face. She giggled mischievously.
"C'mon, Bradley! Show me those pearly whites!"
"Stooop!"
"I knew there was a heart behind that cold exterior! Smile for me, Bradley!"
Bradley laughed and jumped onto his bike to run away. Melissa shouted after him, "Hey, not so fast!" and hopped onto her own to chase after him.
Milo continued to avoid going to visit Zack at the hospital. It was going to snow soon, so he devoted his time to helping his mom, dad, and Sara get prepared for the winter months. It was easy; they'd done it every winter all his life. It was like a holiday tradition.
He kept himself productive to try to keep his mind off of his (probably soon ex-) friend. His headache should have been gone by now, but it had stuck around because he was stressing himself out. He wished he could just accept that Zack shouldn't be friends with him and be done with it but… He was starting to tear up every time the thought of having to walk past Zack in the hallway crossed his mind. His headaches were making him sensitive, and the stress didn't help.
Monday came around, and Milo was starting to get dark circles under his eyes. He had fallen off of his bed every night for the past three days, each time after some nightmare that had made him start screaming in his sleep. Milo didn't hate a lot of things, but the sleepless nights were starting to become something he despised.
So when he woke up on Monday at four in the morning with his throat sore and sitting on the ground, he almost wanted to skip school. He could go visit Zack and Zack could tell him that they had to stop being friends, Milo could explain that he understood, and then he wouldn't have to think about what if Zack does want to be friends because his hopes would be shot. Easy peasy.
But Milo knew he couldn't just skip school without a doctor's note, and how much time would he really need for Zack to turn him down? So he got up and started getting ready for school.
Melissa nudged him at the bus stop. "Did you visit Zack over the weekend?"
He smiled as nicely as he could. "Yeah, but he was asleep and I had to go help mom and dad with the snow preparations, so I left pretty soon after."
Melissa nodded. "So did you leave that get well soon basket? You didn't sign it or anything."
"Yeah. I didn't think it needed to be signed?"
Melissa looked him up and down and smiled only a little bit before the bus pulled up and they both got on.
Milo left to go to the bathroom in science class. He was starting to get nervous in there, with the scorch mark that remained on the table and the ever so constant looming of the fact that something went wrong here and "wrong" was his entire life. So he left, went and sat in a bathroom stall until the period was over.
He didn't actually realize he was skipping class, though. It felt like he had left the class and then suddenly he was in the bathroom and the bell had rung and still, nothing was okay. He found that he was shaking when he stood up (He had been curled up, sitting on the toilet seat for… how long exactly?) and his legs were asleep. He almost resolved to just skip the next period, too, until he heard his best friend's voice -
"Milo? Are you still in there?"
He pulled his feet back up so that if she walked around looking for him, she wouldn't see. He knew Melissa wouldn't have any qualms with walking into the boys' bathroom just to check up on him. He couldn't let himself be found.
And walk into the boys' bathroom she did, knocking on each stall to see if he'd reply. She sighed, then she spoke.
"I don't know - I'm worried about him, Bradley."
"Is he in here though? I really don't think you should've just… broken the rules to check on your boy."
And then she laughed, kind of coldly, and they were both gone. Milo waited a few minutes, but they didn't return, so he walked out and washed his hands, and headed to class.
Milo wasn't sure how to handle it. He wanted, so bad, to just go talk to Zack and be turned down. But he couldn't, because every time he thought about it he started to cry, and he didn't want to force Zack to decide to be his friend with crocodile tears. He knew that he'd cry when he talked to Zack. It was a fact.
So he decided to put it off again.
The forecast said the first snowfall would be on Wednesday.
Melissa went back to visit Zack again on Tuesday. She went alone this time, because she wanted to talk to him about something that she couldn't talk about with Milo there and she shouldn't with Bradley there. She was worried about Milo, he had been pushing her away since the incident and she hated that.
When she walked in, Zack gasped, looking overjoyed for a second before the look was replaced with disappointment.
"M-! ...Oh, Melissa. It's you."
"Were you expecting someone?"
He clutched the hospital bedsheets, his teeth clenched. "He still hasn't come to visit. Am I stupid to worry?"
Melissa bit her lip. "He left science five minutes in yesterday and didn't return to class until almost halfway through the next class." Zack's eyes widened and he looked more worried than she'd ever seen him, which was saying something. "I don't know where he went. I went into the bathroom to check on him, but he either wasn't there or he was hiding."
"Hiding? Why would he hide?"
"If he was upset and didn't want anyone knowing…"
Zack nodded and looked down, crestfallen. "I guess I just assumed he was an open book, but… He's just never gotten in a serious rut in front of me, huh?" Melissa stayed quiet. Zack slapped a hand to his forehead. "I just mess up one thing in the lab, and he blames himself and won't even come to look at me anymore and - and -"
Melissa pulled his hand away from his face. "You can't also blame yourself for this! Repeat after me: It's nobody's fault."
"Melissa, I really don't think -"
"Repeat."
"...It's nobody's fault. But seriously, Melissa, how is it not my fault? I caught myself on fire. And now Milo thinks he has to stay away from me? I can't not blame myself."
"It's neither yours nor Milo's fault that there was a fire. All you were doing was lighting a match to see if it still worked, and all Milo was doing was picking up his pencil. Does that sound like something to beat yourself up over?"
Zack looked down, his shoulders slowly dropped, and he nodded. "Okay. That makes sense. But how can I clear that up with Milo? He's gotta be so much more upset than me."
Melissa silently agreed. She had noticed how Milo's demeanor had changed recently because of this, how he never wanted to do anything outside of school and especially refused to visit Zack. He blamed himself so much that she could feel the utter resentment towards himself.
"I'm not sure. Do you want me to get him to come in tomorrow? I could probably manage it."
Zack smiled, relief flooding his face. "That would be great! Thanks, Melissa." And he turned away again, looking fondly into the distance. He whispered. "It's just… I love him."
Melissa wrapped her arms around his neck gingerly and he hugged her back. "Me too, buddy. Me too."
He sighed into her shoulder, and she could almost feel his face warming up at what she could tell now was basically a confession. I guess we love him in a different way, huh?
Milo ignored all of his emotions on Tuesday and focused solely on his schoolwork. On Wednesday, everything he was supposed to feel on Tuesday came up to attack him like some sort of sick procrastination revenge. He hated to choke down his emotions like this, but he still couldn't bring himself to visit Zack.
What was the worst that would happen? He could walk in and all the equipment would stop working and Zack would die. Well, that wasn't really realistic - Zack was hooked up to barely anything and even if he wasn't, Milo's dad had been to the hospital (worked there - he actually hadn't gotten hurt in a while) recently so everything would be Murphy-proofed. The worst thing that definitely would happen, because it was the worst thing, was Zack would tell Milo he didn't want him to be there, Milo would cry, and Zack would feel bad for him. Milo could fix that, he could tell Zack to not pity him and get himself hurt again and Zack would agree and it would be done with.
Milo knew that it'd be best for Zack to decide, and he was sure that Zack would decide to leave him, so he was just trying to prepare for that possibility.
"Milo, Zack wants you to visit him today." And Milo almost comedically spat out his drink, coughing and turning to stare at Melissa in disbelief.
"Wh- Did he tell you -"
"I went to visit him yesterday and he really wanted to see you. Said he was really worried."
Milo grinned, the effort almost being too much for him. "He doesn't have to worry about me. I'm doing good!"
"Milo -"
"Do I look like I'm not happy? Because I'm fine!"
"Milo, I won't tag along if you don't want me to. Just go see him."
Milo looked down at the lunch table, his grin fading as he thought about how Melissa would also know that Zack was going to have to leave him and she could only try to help him by not making him show her his crying face.
"Thanks, Melissa."
And so now he had to go visit Zack and he would have to at least try to keep his composure. He went through the rest of the day after lunch thinking about how he could talk to Zack without breaking down.
After school, Milo met up with Melissa, who was talking to Bradley. With the snowfall coming soon, the three kids all wore coats: Milo's was a dark pink trench coat that went down to his knees, Melissa's was a soft pink quilted coat, and Bradley's was a big gray coat with a fluffy faux fur lining on the inside. Milo's voice had disappeared, leaving him to gesture a little bit and hope she knew what he was talking about.
She gave him a thumbs up and pulled him in for a hug. He was surprised to find himself wrapping his arms tightly around her back and clenching her coat in his fists. He supposed that for the last week he hadn't been letting himself touch anyone… And now he was affection-starved and he just wanted to hug Melissa for the rest of the afternoon.
But then she patted his back and pulled away, squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek, said it was gonna be okay, and suddenly, Milo believed her.
Melissa watched Milo get on his bike to ride to the hospital. She sat down on a bench under the shade with Bradley. The air was cold and the sky was overcast.
"What was that all about?"
"What?"
"He looked like he didn't want to be touched and then he just… Grabbed you when you hugged him. I didn't expect it."
Melissa laughed. Did she hear a tint of jealousy in his voice? "He likes hugs. Don't you?"
Bradley pulled back, pulling his big coat closer to him and up around his neck. "Not especially."
Melissa ignored the comment and went on. "He's not even been letting me near him this week. I was just going out on a limb."
"So reaching out worked."
"Yeah."
Bradley shuffled his feet. Melissa stared at the sky. Would it snow tonight? She'd have to head home soon if it was, in case something happened and she ended up in an avalanche or something. She didn't want to go home yet, though. Even with how the cold bench froze her legs, she felt warm. She didn't want to let that warmth go.
She glanced at Bradley, who looked away when they made eye contact. His face was red, again.
She smiled softly, her face getting warm too. She looked down at her cold red hands. Bradley was wearing gloves…
"Ah! Look!" Melissa looked up at what Bradley was pointing at - the first snowflake of the winter. There were plenty falling all around them, now that she was paying attention.
What a romantic venue, huh?
"Interesting tidbit about snowflakes - they're not actually all unique!" Bradley put his arm over the bench and turned to Melissa, his eyes brightening. "Some scientists found two snowflakes that looked exactly the same once."
Melissa was amused at how fast he had switched from being nervous to having his arm wrapped around her and a goofy little smile on his face. He really liked fun facts.
And then he seemed to suddenly realize that he had his arm around Melissa and he backed away, pulling back into himself. She laughed a little, but was disappointed that the moment had ended so soon.
"Hey Bradley… Could you walk me home?" It would let me hang out with you a bit more. Bradley looked surprised and then smiled sheepishly.
"Yeah, I'll just get my bike."
Melissa waited for him to come back over from the bike rack. She was getting cold, and the snow was starting to fall heavier.
Bradley pushed his bike over and they walked away from the school together. They were quiet for a minute, watching the snow falling steadily and starting to stick. Melissa looked at Bradley's hands clenching the handlebars of his bike and was sure that, under the gloves, there were white knuckles. His face was even redder now, and she wasn't sure whether to attribute it to his nerves or the cold winter air.
And then he started talking.
"Uh, along with the snowflakes thing, fingerprints aren't all unique either." So he was back to fun facts. But this time he wasn't excited, he was trying to take their minds off of the awkward interaction from before.
He waited for Melissa to reply, but she didn't. She kind of wanted him to pick up the hint to just be quiet for a minute and…
Haha, how embarrassing. She blushed at the thought, staring at Bradley's hands again. He started talking again, but she stopped paying attention to him. She looked up and made eye contact for a second before looking down at his mouth.
She stopped next to a streetlight, and Bradley, confused, stopped too.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm not complaining or anything, but… You talk a lot, huh?"
"Well - I mean -"
And she cut him off by pulling him in for a kiss.
Her lips pressed against his and it seemed to take him a second to realize that he was kissing her. Once he did, he leaned forward and kissed her back, taking her cold hands in his warm gloves.
She pulled back before he was ready to, evidenced by how he moved his head forward to keep their lips touching as she did. She watched as he left his eyes closed for a second and then opened them slowly, his mouth still ever-so-slightly open. She grinned at his awe.
"But… Why?"
"Because I like you?"
"No I mean - Aren't you and Milo -"
"You think I'm dating Milo?"
He nodded, still blushing and scratching his arm again. Melissa smiled and took his hands in hers.
"Milo's my best friend, but I don't like him romantically." She batted her eyelashes. "You, on the other hand…"
Bradley grinned, and Melissa giggled at how cute he was. She kissed his cheek and put her hand on his bike. He put his warm hand over her cold one and they continued walking home.
It was such a warm winter night.
Milo walked to Zack's room with his stomach in knots. He didn't have a gift to offer this time, so he was just going to walk in and see how it went. It should be easy, but he already felt like throwing up. He was trying to get his voice to come back, but his nerves were making him non-verbal and he wasn't sure how to make himself less nervous other than talking to Zack.
He paced outside of the room for a minute before he finally found the resolve to walk in.
Zack shot up and cheered when Milo walked in. "Milo! You came!"
Milo bit the inside of his lip and smiled. Say hi, say hi, say -
"Hey, Zack." Good. Just a mumble, but still words.
Milo stood awkwardly at the door for a second, wringing his hands. Zack stared at him expectantly, and then he leaned forward and patted the chair next to his bed, beckoning Milo towards him. Milo started a little, then swallowed the nothingness in his dry mouth and walked forward to sit down.
"How're you doing? I haven't seen you in a while…"
Milo grasped for words and tried not to cry at the same time. Even though Zack wasn't asleep and he looked a lot stronger than when Milo had come in before, he was still in bandages and was going to need surgery to help his wounds because of Milo. He couldn't let himself forget that. Milo breathed in sharply.
"Milo?" Zack's smile slipped. Say you're okay, say you're okay, say you're -
Milo let out a sob and took Zack's hand. "You're okay…" Well, that wasn't the plan.
Zack smiled and raised an eyebrow. "What, is that what this was all about? I've been okay, Milo."
No, you haven't. Milo pulled Zack's hand to his face and pressed his forehead against his wrist in an attempt to hide his face. His nose was getting red and his eyes were watering again.
Zack's voice changed, now he was worried. "Milo, seriously, I'm fine. I - I'm going to be fine." Milo let the tears roll down his face.
"I'm sorry…"
"I'm fine, it's not your fault. Milo, it's nobody's fault," Zack pleaded. Milo sobbed again, not having the energy to argue.
"You don't have to -" He gasped, "worry about me. I'm - I'm -" Another shaky breath. "I'm fine if you don't - if you don't want to be my friend anymore."
Zack pulled his hand away from Milo's and clutched Milo's hand with both of his desperately. Milo looked into his eyes, confused at the sudden movement.
"I don't want to stop being your friend!" Zack cried, making direct eye contact with Milo.
Huh, that was unexpected. And now the floodgates were opened.
"But you got hurt because of me! You caught fire -"
"- And it wasn't your fault. None of the things that happen around you are your fault."
"They wouldn't happen if I wasn't there!"
"That's not always true, Milo!" Zack squeezed Milo's hands tighter as he pulled them closer to hold them to his face. "I'm the one who lit the match. Walking forward… That had nothing to do with me getting these burns."
Milo stared at Zack, who was desperately grasping (literally) to keep Milo with him.
"Do you understand?"
He didn't.
But he had wanted this so bad.
Milo's breath hitched and he pried his hand from Zack's, almost forgetting his friend's injuries as he leaped forward to hug him. The keyword here was almost - he kept himself away from Zack's chest and cheek so as to not hurt him. Zack immediately wrapped his arms around Milo and buried his face in his neck. Milo let himself cry into Zack's shoulder as Zack started petting his hair and shushing him gently like a fireman trying to calm down a frightened cat.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, Zack stopping his soothing pet to just wrap his arms around Milo and Milo starting to rock them back and forth. Milo was the first to pull away, rubbing his face in embarrassment. He sat on the edge of Zack's bed, still really close to him. He combed a hand through his hair, the relief flooding his body and making him realize just how tense he had been. He smiled, a real smile, and sheepishly commented, "Uh… That was kinda clingy, huh?"
Zack burst into laughter, pulling his arm up to wipe the tears from his eyes. "Maybe. But it was nice, man."
Milo laughed and nodded, another tear streaming down his face. "So you… Don't want me to stop being friends with you? Even though I make everything worse than it has to be?"
Zack stopped smiling, looking shocked that Milo needed clarification at this point. Then the smile returned, and Zack nodded, taking Milo's face in his hands.
"I'm gonna go out on a limb here, so hear me out." He took a breath. "If I were to say that I was feeling guilty for your concussion because I lit the candle, and I told you you didn't have to be friends with me, would you still be friends with me?"
"Of course! But that's not comparable, Zack!" He touched one of Zack's hands on his face. "I've been out of the hospital. You're still in here. And you wouldn't be in here if I hadn't been in the science room."
Zack pulled Milo's face even closer and looked him straight in the eye. "Milo. Of course I still would've gotten hurt. You didn't make the thing explode. That was all on me… And it won't happen again."
Milo was leaning over Zack's body with Zack looming over his face. The hand that wasn't rested over Zack's on his face supported him from being directly on top of Zack by being rested on the unburned part of Zack's chest. Milo's legs dangled off the bed.
Milo blinked. His and Zack's noses brushed together. He could feel Zack's breath on his face.
"You really think it still would've happened if I wasn't there?"
"I know it."
Milo pulled his legs up to the bed and leaned forward, resting his head on Zack's unbandaged shoulder while Zack moved his hands away from Milo's face. He smiled, another tear rolling down his face as Zack embraced him.
"I'll take your word for it."
After Zack's skin grafting procedure, it had snowed a lot more. The ice was everywhere and so were the kids, building forts and having snowball fights with childlike wonder. It was the Saturday right after the last day of the first semester in school, and everyone was excited about it. Melissa waited with Bradley for Milo and Zack to show up. Bradley wore the big gray coat he had worn when Melissa kissed him, but this time he had even more protection from the weather: a knitted beanie striped with dull colors, a matching scarf, the same gloves. Melissa also had on the same coat, and now she had gloves of her own.
"You don't have to hover over me, Milo. I'm fine."
And here they came, Milo in his pink coat and long thick pants and Zack wearing a big black jacket with golden faux fur on the inside. Milo was wearing a pom pom beanie, fuzzy socks, and gloves. Zack wore a pair of yellow gloves that matched the dark shade of yellow on his jacket. He was still recovering from the surgery, which had been recent, and he even was still wearing the hospital band around his wrist because he had only been ready to get out by yesterday. He had still skipped school because it would've been a hassle to just go one day, so Melissa was excited to finally see him again.
Milo had taken the duty of "personal butler" for his recovering friend, much to Zack's amusement and, later, annoyance. Milo insisted on helping Zack do everything just because he was injured.
"You know, someday you're gonna get hurt and I'll have to become your servant, see how you like it when I -"
"Hope you're ready for a lifelong commitment, Zack!" Melissa cut off whatever he was gonna say with a cheerful greeting to her best friends. Zack looked down, reaching his arm behind his head and scratching it nervously. She wondered if he was blushing, but it was hard to tell.
"Maybe I'll go ahead and become his full time butler for the rest of his life then!"
"What? No, Zack, I don't need a butler -"
Zack and Melissa both laughed. Milo looked at them both, confused, then realized that they had been joking and chuckled.
"Maybe you should be! I could use you around the house!" Melissa noticed Milo's hand hesitate to push Zack's shoulder for a second, as if he was remembering which side he could push without hurting him, and then he knocked him and Zack laughed. The moment was gone, but Melissa had seen the way his hand moved back, and could tell that he still needed to make himself feel like Zack's burns weren't his fault.
Zack ran over to Bradley to start building the snow fort for the snowball fight they were going to have, and Milo started running after him. Melissa stopped him though, grabbing his wrist. He looked back at her, his eyes wide.
"Can I talk to you for a minute, Milo?"
He blinked. "Sure…?"
They walked away from Zack and Bradley, Melissa giving Bradley a "one second" sign before leading Milo over to a park bench.
Well, no harm in going straight to the point. "Milo… do you blame yourself for what happened to Zack?"
Milo looked confused for a second, and then let out a short laugh. "I did. But Zack explained that it wasn't my fault, and he was so sure about it…"
He looked up, and Melissa followed his fond gaze to Zack and Bradley, who were starting to make a fort and snowballs.
"...I'm trying to believe him."
Melissa nodded, wrapping an arm around her best friend. He nuzzled his head into her shoulder.
"It's weird… I know it objectively, but it's hard to convince myself in my head, you know?"
"Yeah. I get you."
Milo rested his hand on Melissa's. "I don't want him to get hurt again… I don't want anyone to get hurt anymore."
Melissa smiled and pulled Milo closer. "And we won't. We've got you and your bag of supplies. Things will go wrong, but not terribly wrong."
Milo nodded and smiled, pulling Melissa into a hug. She hugged him back, kissing his cheek as she did. After a second of the hug, a snowball hit Milo in the face.
The source of the snowball was Bradley, evidenced by the way he stood with his arm outstretched and his body bent over, like he had wound it up and thrown it with all his might. He looked up and grinned at Milo and Melissa, and Zack stood up from behind the fort to shout, "Come on, you two! Don't leave us hanging!"
Milo laughed and picked up some snow, shaping it into a ball to throw back at Bradley. Melissa ran forward to start building hers and Milo's fort while Milo continued making snowballs.
Everyone laughed, and everything was okay. Melissa watched as Milo threw a snowball at Zack and it struck him in his chest. Milo gasped, but Zack threw one right back, completely unfazed. Milo laughed and Melissa threw another snowball at Bradley, who was trying to reinforce his and Zack's fort.
Melissa played in the snow with her boys for the rest of the afternoon, hers and Milo's team winning in the end because Zack and Bradley surrendered when Melissa threatened to ball up her whole fort and throw it at them.
She watched Milo and Zack talk to each other on the way home, and she knew everything would be okay. Milo knew now, he wouldn't blame himself for anything like this again.
Melissa wrapped each of her arms around Zack and Milo's shoulders and pulled them in for a group hug. She pulled Bradley in too, and he was embarrassed but he hugged them back.
Things were gonna be fine.