Title: This is Who We Remain Forever
Author: quick_ly
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Finn/Rachel
Rating: PG
Summary: When all is said and done, they grow up.
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Glee. I just obsess about it.
As I look back at countless crossroads
and the middle where I stay
right up the beaten path to boredom
where the fakest fucks get laid
by the faux-finest finds
it's been that way
god damn you, how you stay
with every scummy, crummy hour
of the scummy, crummy day
- Say Anything, "Yellow Cat (Slash) Red Cat"
When all is said and done, they grow up.
She goes on to Juilliard, because it's big and famous and in New York, and really, where else was someone like Rachel supposed to go?
He spends one year in community collage and another two at state. The whole football scholarship thing didn't really pan out. Finn sometimes wonders if it was ever going to.
They don't ever meet up. It never seems like the right time.
.
Broadway's not fun. It's exciting and challenging and maybe a little painful, but never fun. It's nothing like glee, where she had friends and joy and people to love. It takes Rachel a while to get that this is a job, something she does for money and fame and nothing more, and that no matter how many stages she performs on, it's never going to be as great as when it was for glee.
(At the end of the day, Broadway doesn't have Finn, and if Rachel's truly honest with herself, that's all that's wrong.)
.
He wants to be better; really, it's just that it's a little hard to get better when you've spent the last few years working at a paper company where your boss can't even remember if you're you or the fat guy from accounting. And maybe Finn's a little too set in his ways (drinking late and getting up early), so the whole idea of starting his life seems a little daunting and… unappealing?
Of course, if he starts his life, who's to say Rachel can't be in it?
.
On opening night of her newest show, he turns up.
There aren't smiles or hugs or professions of love. He doesn't come bearing an engagement ring and speech about how his life's a mess because she's not in it. There aren't any flowers or poems, just a single question Finns wanted to ask for a while now.
"You wanna a get a beer?"
She does.
.
They go out to some bar where the lights are dim and the people are quiet and just talk about everything that's happened and everything they want to happen. It's all kind of pointless, though, since they both know that when the night comes to a close, they'll be in each others arms…
"So, you're a big star now," he says, trying to set the mood? "How does it feel?"
"I don't know. The same, I guess." Rachel's normal demeanor – the whole I'll be the star no matter what thing – seems to be gone, replaced by a very clear I don't know what to do with my life vibe. Finn can see a hint of something in here eyes, although he can't tell what it is.
"Well, you got everything you wanted. Aren't you happy?"
Rachel doesn't say anything.
.
They don't hesitate or wait for it to be okay (it's never going to be okay.) The moment they enter her apartment, all hope is lost, and he's suddenly brought back to memories of losing nationals and holding a crying Rachel all night long, and how that Rachel and the one who's underwear he's slipping off don't seem like the same person, like the current Rachel is merely a shadow of what she once was.
Finns not sure how this makes him feel.
.
In the morning, it's quiet. Rachel's just sitting on his lap, drinking a cup of coffee (black), and Finn is beginning to wonder if this love is going to be his downfall.
Surprisingly, he doesn't care.
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