A/N So this is a marauder era story, and there is some pairings, but that is not the focus of the story. I think that it is a mix of funny and dark/hurt and romance and non-romance/friendship – kinda a bunch of stuff. I hope you like it! Please give it a try, (I know that is a cliche thing to say, but seriously, please just read the first few chapters) and let me know what you think.

Chapter 1

New Beginnings

"Are you sure about this Albus?" asked McGonagall. "She should be in hiding!"

"There is no place safer than Hogwarts," replied Dumbledore confidently as he gazed over the girl sleeping silently in the infirmary. "She will do well here."

McGonagall pursed her lips. She knew Dumbledore was wiser than any other wizard, but everyone makes mistakes. This girl needed protection. She looked over at the child in the hospital bed. Could Hogwarts really be the safest place for her?

"What happens if she tells someone her secret? Children nowadays have no thought for consequences. She could endanger the entire student body. The dark forces that she knows of…"

"I have faith in her," Dumbledore stated matter-of-factly. "She has seen enough to know more about the consequences than either of us." Dumbledore looked back at the girl, and placed a gentle hand on her arm. She shifted slightly under his touch.

McGonagall didn't continue to argue, but pursed her lips again. She didn't have faith in the girl, but she did have faith in Dumbledore. If he thought it best…. maybe it was.

"I am sorry Headmaster, but I must insist you leave," chided Madame Pomphrey as she hurried over to the girls bed and surveyed her wounds for the tenth time that hour. "All this chatter is sure to wake her, and the poor girl needs her sleep!"

"Ah yes. I couldn't agree more, Poppy. We were just on our way out." Dumbledore stood and strolled over the door of the infirmary, McGonagall not far behind. At the door, he turned to get one last glimpse of the young girl. He smiled sadly.

"Goodbye, Kasdeya," he whispered, and closed the door behind him.

Winter break was not the best time to arrive at Hogwarts. After leaving the infirmary, Kasdeya found herself wondering the empty castle alone. The only company she had was her pet hedgehog, Gerry. But one can only talk to a hedgehog for so long before they feel crazy. Madame Pomphrey had instructed her to take it easy, which basically ruled out anything fun. She supposed she was lucky to leave with only a few scars on her back. Dumbledore had her sorted into a house and assigned her a bed in the fifth year girls' dorm. He asked her to spend break catching up on her course work so she would be ready to join her classmates at the start of term. While this would technically be her first year at Hogwarts, she didn't have a terrible amount of work to catch up on. She found most of her assignments to be around her skill level, although there were a few advanced topics in transfiguration and DADA she would have to ask her professors about to be completely caught up.

She had her mom to thank for her knowledge. Espella Reydon was a very extraordinary witch. She taught Kasdeya about the magical world around them since Kasdeya was born. It was like having a teacher that was a master in all subjects. Except potions. Her mother was rubbish at potions. That's where her father came in the picture. Clark Reydon was a potions master. He honed Kasdeyas skill in potions since she was old enough to hold a vile and a knife. Espella used to screech at them for spending days on end upstairs in the "abominable alchemy alcove" as she called it. Espella never trusted potions since her mother died in a potions mishap while adding exploding fluid from a erumpent horn to her draught of living death potion. She would beg Clark to keep the potion making at a minimum, lest Kasdeya get hurt. Still, she continued to learn potions with her father. It's not like Kasdeya's father payed much attention to what her mother said.

Clark was a hard man to understand. He was quiet, but not shy. He spoke his mind when he wanted to, but often seemed to think that others around him were not worthy of his words. Kasdeya often wondered why her mother stayed with him. She was such an inspiring, independent woman, and he was so closed off and controlling. Whenever her father was around, her mother changed. Her stubborn will dissolved, and she became the domesticated housewife that Kasdeya hated. She often worried that she would end up like her mother. Left with a man who wouldn't let her pursue her dreams and passions. Who told her what to do and when. Who controlled her.

Clark always encouraged Kasdeya to learn potions, but he never encouraged her to pursue any of her ambitions in her life. As far as he was concerned, Kasdeya was to get married and live a quiet life. Kasdeya never wanted quiet. In an awful way she was almost glad he was gone and no longer there to restrain her. Kasdeya knew she missed her mother, but sometimes wondered if she missed her father. How could she not miss someone who suffered so much? Is it evil to not feel bad about his fate?

Questions about her life swirled in her head whenever she had time to think. And with winter break the castle was deserted save a first year Hufflepuff and a third year Slytherin, leaving her with way too much time to think. All the thinking made her anxious. She tried to keep her anxiety levels under control, but ever since it happened, she found that she was more and more prone to anxiety. Maybe she wouldn't mind the anxiety if it didn't exacerbate her OCD. Normally her OCD was incredibly mild, just a few key phrases, and few taps on doorframes, but all the anxiety exacerbated it. She found herself avoiding the lines in the stone flooring and counting her steps in groups of eight and she wondered aimlessly thought the endless halls. She couldn't wait until term started and she would be surrounded by other people to distract her from the dark memories that crept in when walked the silent halls.

Kasdeya found herself frequently drawn to the library, but was unable to stay there for very long. As she sat in the quiet corners of the library, she found herself transported back to her grandfather's library in his old manor on the hill. When she was a child she spent much of her time in that library, hiding her fears in the books. When her father's yelling or her mother's crying became too much, she would sneak out of her room and went up the hill to the old manor. The window at the back of the library was low enough for a three year old to reach. That library was her refuge. She remembered hiding under the old pine table as she read, how it still retained its sweet foresty smell, how smooth the wood grain felt under her small hands. Kasdeya told her grandfather she would read every single book in that library, even the boring ones on muggle lawnmowers. At the time, she truly thought that she would. It was, and always will be her favorite place, even if it was now ash blended into dirt, and spread back into the earth. Though she loved the moments in the school library that took her back into her memory, she also hated it. Like all her memories that started out pleasant, it would continue and in the end she remember seeing the violent flames engulfing the library she loved.

As the nights came and went, she often found herself tossing and turning as sleep refused to greet her. Other nights she didn't want to sleep because she was afraid of the dreams. On the worse nights, she crept up to the astronomy tower with a wool blanket to sleep. Out on the tower she felt safe. She felt as if someone lifted her up above all the troubles she was facing and set her among the stars instead. The cold night air seemed to slow her racing mind, and she loved to watch the phases of the moon.

Kasdeya began to keep a journal of the night sky. She wished she knew more about astronomy, but her father would never let her learn a skill that wouldn't be useful in daily life. Perhaps, since he was gone, she could learn new things. Experience the world.

The day term started came faster than Kasdeya expected. Although she wanted it to arrive, she sat on the floor of the dorm room nervously waiting for someone to arrive. To occupy her mind, Kasdeya spent most of the morning folding and refolding her clothes, then making her bed and smoothing it out repeatedly until she couldn't see any wrinkles. Now she sat on the floor and stared at the doorknob, wiling it to turn.

Suddenly the door burst open and a spunky red head bounced through, with three other girls trailing behind. Kasdeya watched as the set down their belongings and flopped on their beds. The redhead notice Kasdeya and suddenly broke into a giant smile. She emitted more optimism and cheerfulness than anyone Kasdeya had ever met.

"Hiya! You must be Kasdeya. Dumbledore told me that a transfer student would be here!" she chirped. "My name's Lily. If you have any questions about Hogwarts feel free to ask! I am a prefect so its part of my job to help show you around!"

Great, thought Kasdeya. So she is only going to be nice to me because of her job? Lily seemed to read her mind and realized what she had said.

"Oh no, Kasdeya, I didn't mean it like that!" Lily stuttered. "I meant that as a prefect I know all the answers to any questions and whatnot, so if you need to know anything I would be a great person to ask!" Kasdeya smiled up at her and Lily finally seemed to realize Kasdeya was still sitting on the floor and extended her hand. Kasdeya took the offer and stood up.

"NOW! Allow me to introduce you!" Lily announced. "This is Mary – she is the one to go to for all things girly: boy advice, bras, hair, make up, all that jazz. And that is Marlene, SHE has a crush on Sirius Bla—"

"I DO NOT!" a blonde curly haired girl interjected, her face red from embarrassment.

"—and last, but not least, Alice. She is AMAZING at herbology. Could never get the hang of the subject myself." Kasdeya laughed at the girls and they began to talk about their adventures over break.

"So why did your parents name you Kasdeya?" asked Alice. "That's kinda an odd name."

"mmm, it comes from muggle mythology," Kasdeya replied, choosing her words carefully. "Kasdeya was an… angle. You can just call me Kas for short." Kasdeya puffed out her cheeks. Alice nodded, seemingly losing interest in the conversation and flipping through a magazine on her bed. Marlene looked around the room and let out a big sigh.

"Is anyone else STARVING?" she asked dramatically. "Let's head down to the great hall."

"Your just excited to see Sirius again, aren't you?" snickered Mary, which caused a blush to form on Marlene's cheeks.

"I am not!" she snapped, just a little too quickly causing the girls to start giggling. "Shut up!" Marlene got to her feet and stomped out of the room, and the other girls followed her lead.

They chatted idly about their new Christmas presents as they headed down to dinner. Kasdeya hoped they wouldn't notice if she was quite during the walk, since she had little desire to tell them about her anxiety filled break or about the fact that she receive no presents. Well, Dumbledore did send her a telescope. How that man knew he secret wish to take astronomy was beyond her.

They arrived at dinner and immediately sat together in a group. They were filling their plates when a crash followed by boisterous laughter made them all jump. Kasdeya craned her neck to see what was going on. Two boys wearing Gryffindor robes appeared to have tripped a Syltherin boy.

"Can you not just leave him alone!" fumed Lily, getting to her feet. "James Potter, I swear you are the most egotistical, insolent –"

"Oi! Slow down!" one of the boys said, smirking as he took a seat next to Lily. "It was Sirius not me!"

"Sorry Lils," said one of the other boys, presumably Sirius. "I was just following the advice Marlene gave me."

"When I said get a new hobby, I meant like painting or something!" hissed Marlene, a blush threating to appear on her cheeks.

"Well, picking on Snivellus is my hobby!" Sirius shot back. The aforementioned boy who was tripped seemed to have disappeared during all the commotion, and the boys took their seats next the five girls. The two pranksters both had scruffy black hair, although Sirius's was much longer and curlier. One of the other boys, whose name Kasdeya did not yet know, had his nose buried in a book and Kasdeya could not get a good look at his face. The remaining boy was shorter than the others, with a rounder face, and appeared to have a more nervous disposition.

"Who is this?" asked James gesturing toward Kasdeya as he filled up his plate. Kasdeya looked over at Lily and they gave each other a playful smiled.

"You mean you really don't remember me?" Kasdeya asked, looking crestfallen. James shrugged and ruffled his hair.

"Honestly, James!" Lily huffed. "Is your head so big that you don't even notice the people around you? For god sake, she has been in your house for five years and you haven't bothered to learn her name!"

James's face went completely red as he looked at Kasdeya trying to stammer an apology for not knowing her name.

"Don't worry about it mate," whispered Sirius. "I don't know her name either."

"You knuckleheads! You are both so consumed in your pranking and popularity that you are completely ignorant to the world around you!" Mary spat, joining in on the fun. "Running around calling yourselves the marauders, with your childish nicknames! I mean really!

"Us?" asked Sirius, fake confusion on his face.

"Knuckleheads?" said James, looking offended.

"Childish?" said Sirius, now looking equally affronted.

"Never!" They said in unison, their arms over each other's shoulder.

"In all honesty, that is probably putting lightly," said the sandy haired boy looking up from his book. "And perhaps the reason you don't know her is because she is a transfer student. Her name is Kasdeya."

"I knew it!" announced James. "I knew she was a new girl!" Lily stuck out her tongue at him and all the girls erupted into giggles. Remus, however maintained a straight face.

"Allow me to introduce myself," he continued. "I am Remus. And this here is Peter."

"Typical Mooney," sighed Sirius, pretending to swoon. "Always the gentlemen!"

"Cue the nicknames," muttered Alice. Kasdeya smiled lightly at Remus, but it slid off her face slightly as she took in his features. The other boys had very smooth clear skin, but Remus… He had scars that littered his face, and Kasdeya wondered what caused them. She knew better than to ask, because if someone asked about the scars on her back she might throw up at the idea of telling someone. She took a moment to consider how lucky she was that her scars were not somewhere people could see. Remus probably had to endure questions from people all the time.

She forced her smile back on her face and turned back to the conversation the girls were previously having. Kasdeya stuck a more-than-slightly-too-large spoonful of mashed potatoes in her mouth and was greatly enjoying their buttery taste when Sirius pretended to gag.

"Are you sure she is a new girl, Prongs?" he snickered. "With those manners she seems more like an animal." Kasdeyas face flushed and she stuck out her tongue at him. It probably didn't help her case that her tongue was covered in the remnants of her last bite of potatoes, but she didn't care. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

"What do you know about manners, Black?" said Mary curtly. "I have seen you launch pudding at Peter with your spoon!"

"I know more than you think," he replied darkly before the boys started their own conversation, and the girls went back to theirs. No one seemed to look concerned by his statement. Maybe they already knew what he was talking about, or maybe they just didn't care. Kasdeya added it to her list of mysteries about these boys. So far she had 1) What is going on between the boys and that Slytherin guy? 2) Why is Remus called Mooney, and where did his scars come from? 3) What did Sirius mean by more than you think?

After dinner, everyone headed up to the common room. Kasdeya was annoyed that the marauders seemed to dominate her favorite couches by the fireplace. Most of the students had returned to their dorms already in an attempt to get a good night's sleep before the first day of classes. Marlene and Mary had disappeared to gossip and Lily had to do prefect duties with Remus. Kas resigned to playing wizards chess with Alice in the corner of the common room. Alice tried to get her to play exploding snap, which used to be one of Kasdeya's favorites as a kid, but the sound of the tiny explosions put her on edge nowadays.

Kas was about to capture Alice's king and when the game when suddenly the portrait hole swung open to reveal an irate Lily.

"JAMES POTTER," she bellowed. "The first day back and you and your friends are already playing pranks!? I just had to spend an hour calming down a group of Slytherin FIRST YEARS since you thought it would be SO FUNNY to charm their books to attack them. THEY ARE FIRST YEARS!"

Remus stood awkwardly next to Lily, looking down at his feet and tugging his hair. Kasdeya guessed he was probably in on the prank too.

"They knew what they were getting into when they got into Slytherin!" James shot back.

"NOT ALL SLYTHERINS ARE BAD!" she screeched, her voice getting steadily higher pitched. Alice jumped up to calm her fuming redheaded friend and Remus hesitantly took a seat on the couch opposite James. James just grinned widely. Alice and Lily disappeared into the girls dorm, leaving Kasdeya to pack up their game. She sighed and looked at the chess board. I was just about to win, she thought grumpily to herself. She leaned back in her chair and reached into her hoodie pocket, looking for Gerry her hedgehog. She frowned at the surprising lack of hedgehog in her hoodie pocket, and stood up to look for him.

Kasdeya surveyed the common room and then spotted him curled up on the rug next to the fireplace.

"Gerry!" she exclaimed, strolling over to her hedgehog and scooping him up in her hands.

"Is that a hedgehog?" asked Peter with his eyes wide.

"No, it's a horse," snorted Sirius and Peter blushed.

"An owl, a cat, a rat, or a toad," yawned Sirius, stretching out his arms. "Don't think hedgehogs fall under those categories."

"If I put fuzzy ears on him he can pass as a cat," Kasdeya said firmly. Sirius looked at her for a second before laughing.

"I like you, new girl," he stated.

"Thanks. I like me too," Kasdeya replied awkwardly. She shifted back and forth on her feet and looked between the boys. She stuffed Gerry and her pocket and muttered a quick "goodnight" before scurrying up the corridor towards her room, but stopped just out of their line of sight and listened to see what they were saying. Kasdeya knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, and if her father had ever caught her spying, she was in big trouble. But he wasn't here anymore.

"Why do you think she is here?" James asked.

"To get an education," replied another voice. Kasdeya didn't recognize it but guessed it was Remus.

"Haha. But really, who just changes schools in the middle of the year?"

"She did wait until term ended," the voice of reason replied.

"I don't trust it," Her heart sank. Were they going to try to find out? She could never live with herself if they knew what she had done – it would put them in danger too.

"Leave her alone, Prongs,"

"I am just saying, its… odd," Kasdeya shook her head and continued up the stairs. There was no way she would let them find out.

The other girls had already gone to sleep, the curtains drawn around their beds. Kasdeya pulled Gerry out of her hoodie pocket. He had fallen asleep against the warmth of her body. She smiled slightly at him and placed him in his small bed on floor under her bed. She didn't want him on her nightstand in case he rolled off and fell to the ground, and also didn't want to risk anyone stepping on him. The space under her bed seemed the perfect spot to create a hedgehog hideaway.

Her bed felt cold against her legs and she suddenly missed the fresh air of the astronomy tower. She wished she could go up there but guessed it was a bad idea since term started. After closing her eyes, she found herself sleeping more soundly than ever.

Please review, I would really like to know what you think. Even if you hate it, please tell me why.