I walked into the oh-so familiar Forks High School cafeteria with Edward by my side.
This place made me think of my past, unfortunately even the bad parts. I knew from Rose that if I didn't look over them every once in a while, I would lose them. I didn't want to lose any part of my time with Edward. And I looked over them, remembering every detail.
I still remember the day my mother put me on a plane, due to my consideration. Phil still took good care of her, at the age of 43. I couldn't lie about liking Forks to anyone. But I could admit that it was the best decision of my life.
I still remember moving into my father's small house, thinking I'd finish high school here and get a scholarship to somewhere warm, somewhere like Hawaii.
How wrong I was.
I remember my first glance at the Cullens, in this same cafeteria. I remember asking Jess to explain everything about them. How they were different, how they were nonsocial, how it all sounded so strange to me. I knew that they were different, their intense beauty showed it obviously, now I was coming to school, where I had gone 10 years ago. I was very interested in how the kids at the school looked at me. Would they know we were different, like I had? I couldn't answer that.
I remember the van, Port Angeles, everything about my first few months in Forks.
I remember my first kiss with Edward, after he had ignored me those weeks! His lips on mine felt so perfect, so right, it was hard to resist kissing him right here while we sat down at our table.
I remember James' bite, too. It didn't feel any worse than when Edward had left. Edward left me after that summer, too. He felt he was hazardous to my health, though that's not what he told me. He had tried to convince me that he didn't want me. I don't like to remember that, but I do.
When he left me, I remember the pain I felt, alone in that woods. He really had left me. It was my nightmare come true.
I shuddered at the thought, and I felt Edward's grip tighten on me. He didn't want me to think about that any more than he wanted to. He had to deal with a lot in his life. I couldn't imagine how he felt when he left me. If I thought the feeling I got was intense, I didn't even want to know how he had felt.
I still don't think I survived it very well. Charlie knew me well enough to know I never got over Edward even after Jacob entered my life fully. He was a werewolf. He promised to take me cliff-diving. That day he was out chasing Victoria, for she had come back for me.
Everything about that day creeped back into my mind like a snake. I still remember the pulling sensation, pulling me to darkness, pulling me to death, pulling me to peace, pulling me to Edward. Then I saw Jacob. He got me from the water, after jumping.
I had went to my house, empty, 'cause Charlie was at a funeral. Except it wasn't empty. Alice had been there. I remember racing to save Edward, racing to save him, though he wouldn't take me back.
He had been saved, but he came back.
I remember Edward and Jake fighting over me. They both wanted me. Like I deserved them. I still didn't deserve Edward. But there was something special about me that he saw, just the same as before.
Isle Esme, our special place. That was one of my best memories. I remember the water, the sensation, the warmth, although his skin was cold, the....the....everything. Everything about that was unbelievable.
That was where Renesmee had been conceived, where we had first learned. That was when we learned that a vampire could conceive a baby as long as it was with a human female. How stressed we were.
Those few days were the last days of being an unmothered woman. Edward had wanted to get rid of her, but I knew he loved her now. We were blessed. I loved Renesmee before I even had her. Typically me.
I have to admit, I had a strange life. It was very strange. But in the end, it was going to land like this. Like it is now.
It had lurching feet and different moods at a time. But through all the stress, I enjoyed it. I still enjoy it. Without the Cullens I don't know where I would be right now. Probably dead.
If I had never come to Forks on my mother's favor, I'd still be living that boring, same life in Florida, probably. I couldn't imagine a life without Edward, without Alice, without my family.
I felt a strange urge to cry, without sucess, to be comforted by my family. I had lived plenty, perhaps too much. It was Renesmee I was worried about.
Her old picture. If only she was that young still.
Present Day. ::Sigh::