Damn Nora, back at it again with the 7am haven't slept Silent Hill one-shots
Bonus points: spot the obvious references to other Silent Hill games
Alex has good days and bad days.
It was inevitable, really. No one can go through what they have without some noticeable mental trauma. Elle still doesn't know if she'll ever feel right again, knowing what she does. Alex has it even worse.
His bad days are not loud, shocking events however. Sometimes Elle doesn't even know anything's wrong until she'll call his name a few times to find that he's quietly slipped away into his own thoughts, which are sometimes scarier than real monsters.
Alex disassociates. Infrequently, growing rarer as time passes, but enough to let her know that what's past still haunts him.
Alex admits to it after a particularly long session, where when he finally came to his senses, Elle was near to tears, calling his name. Elle's scared, but he's not worried.
"There's no rust," he tells her. "I'm just numb. No rust, no blood, just...nothing."
Progress is progress, Elle figures.
The good days are growing in number, and that's what keeps her going, because after all that's happened she believes Alex deserves the world and then some.
He gave her a scare one morning, when she returned from a quick shopping trip to find him sitting on his bed, cradling his hammer pistol, looking at it in fascination. He ended up as startled as she was, having not heard her enter the room, and her sudden move to take the gun ended up with them both in a confused pile on the floor with the gun out of reach.
She demanded to know just what the hell he was thinking. Alex, innocent as ever, responded honestly.
"I was thinking about my dad. It reminds me of him."
Oh. Elle didn't really know what to say, but she was so relieved that he hadn't suddenly become suicidal that she didn't really care.
"Elle. I think I want to be a cop."
Alex loves helping people. It makes him feel worth something, which is rare considering the layers of abuse and neglect he has to fight daily. While it brings up memories of his father, a man he both respects and wishes to forget about entirely, Alex could easily see himself in uniform as well.
After all, he was a soldier, right?
Right?
Elle glares at him for the self-deprecating humor, but it has no real anger and it makes him laugh, which feels good. Real good.
Elle surprises Alex by supporting him straightaway. He had prepared several arguments on why he should become an officer, why it felt right, how they could possibly go about sorting out records of whatever the hell happened to them, but Elle doesn't need any convincing.
"Ok," she says, picking up the pistol and returning it to him. "Then let's see about getting you a badge."
Neither of them really wanted to deal with the paperwork. Trying to sort out what happened meant admitting it was real, and for the both of them it felt like slicing open scars that should be left to heal.
It was a delicate dance. Alex would give it up if it was too difficult, but Elle had her heart set on him becoming a blue, so she faced the music first.
It worked out better than they hoped.
Elle managed to recover info from the mental institution Alex had been committed to. It was a surreal experience, finally seeing it on paper.
"Cedar Grove Sanitarium," Alex reads aloud, picking up one of the papers strun about the coffee table. "Huh."
"What of it?" Elle asks, sorting the records in front of her.
"Nothing I just—I never even knew the name."
Elle does some research, and lo and behold, the place is now defunct following claims of abuse and unlawful practice.
Shocking.
She sees about getting his records redone. They schedule a meeting with a psychologist, a real one, and look into getting him a psych eval.
He does well. Alex isn't entirely ok, and likely never will be, but he's pretty sound of mind and now has the papers to show it.
Elle can't stop smiling back at him when he shows her the results.
Somehow, the records from Cedar Grove are lost and replaced with his new ones. The combination of a sympathetic doctor and the State vs Cedar Grove ruling make an opportunity for a fresh start.
Alex enrolls in police academy.
He's a natural. Or everyone seems to think so. Elle knows it's likely due to the harsh drilling of his father that he retains the skill he does, but she's glad to see him put it to good use.
He passes physical tests with ease. His trainers are confused at how he can shoot so accurately or dodge without prior military skill, but they are impressed nonetheless. Alex recounts stories to Elle about his latest trials and tests while running fingers through her hair, both curled up on their beat up couch.
Time flies, so they say, and it's nearing the end of his time in academy already. Which, Elle noted, included some of the longest times between bad days that they've seen yet.
He graduates with first rate grades. They call Wheeler and tell him the news, and he goes on and on about how proud he is until Alex threatens, jokingly, to hang up.
The interview was what was really going to decide his fate, however. Elle and Wheeler had wished him luck, but ultimately their words still left him defenseless in front of the large oak desk he was sat down before.
"So, where are you from kid?"
The chief was friendlier than expected, and although she seemed to be trying to put him at ease, she had this look as if she was peering into his innermost thoughts, conducting her own mental background check.
"Shepherd's Glen," he replied back, hoping she didn't pick up on his slight stutter. He couldn't meet her eyes, so he focused on the brass name tag displayed across the desk.
CYBIL BENNETT, CHIEF
But that didn't help much with his nerves either.
"Toluca County huh?" the chief questioned, looking at the potential recruit, who's eyes focused everywhere but her face, including multiple directions at once (it seems the kid had a bit of a lazy eye, despite his high marksmanship scores). "Tell me, Mr. Shepherd, ever been to Silent Hill?"
Alex immediately made eye contact, gasping quietly in shock. His nerves were on fire now, there was no way he was going to land a spot on the force if she knew what had happened, what he saw, what made him visit that town…
Oh god, was she part of the Order?
"No I...not really." It wasn't exactly a lie, he'd only ever visited in the worlds of fog and rust.
"Well, if you ever do, Cafe 5to2 has great lattes," Cybil said, placing Alex's files down and reaching a hand across the desk, smiling warmly at him. "Welcome to the force, kid," she winked.
Alex shook her hand, cracking a grin that felt genuine for the first time in a very long time.
Today was a good day, he decided.
