The New Chronicles of the Deaths of FF7 Characters!
Cloud:
Cloud strolls along a small footpath on a mountain, gazing into the air. All of a sudden, he sees Aeris ahead of him! Not noticing she's a hallucination, he runs full speed ahead of himself falling head over heels down a cliffside to his doom.
Tifa:
Tifa is silently stalking Cloud, and sees him run off the cliffside. "Wait for me!" she yells, and jumps off the cliff right after him.
Barret:
Barret's seen in the shower, with appropriate censor bars. He's soaping up, and all of a sudden *RATTA-TATTA-TATTA-TAT! And high-pitch screaming* and next thing you know, Barret's bleeding profusely in the shower, and dies almost immediately from the rapid loss.
Aeris:
Well of course, we've all seen this played out a million times, the Masamune comes swiftly down through her back and out through her chest with no blood spill at all, just a peaceful face of death, and a slow drowning into the pools of the City of Ancients.
Cait Sith:
Reeve runs the doll, but after Reeve dies, Cait Sith may live on for a while, but his batteries will surely run out, but his memory will live on forever.
Nanaki:
Nanaki might well be immortal, or he can turn into stone, ala Seto, either way, he'd rock into eternety.
Yuffie:
Yuffie can be seen strolling through the city streets of an urban area. Her hand sneakily grabs a few materia from a cart. "STOP YOU THEIVING GIRL!" a few gunshots are heard, and poor Yuffie has been made quick work of.
Vincent:
Vincent sees a full moon. Vincent turns into giant hell daemon. Giant hell daemon is so bulging that a vital vein pops. Giant hell daemon fall down and go boom. (Sorry for my reversion into 1st grade grammar . .)
Cid:
As a carefully panned screenshot comes down to see Cid, he's hacking up a lung while holding a cigarette in his hand. No one in sight, he keeps choking on smoke, and ends up convulsing on the ground until he suffocates to death.
Ah yes, those were the easy characters, but now!
Dyne:
Of course you saw him jump, but here's how it could have ensued afterwards! Dyne smashes into a large branch on the cliff, breaking his spinal column. He continues to tumble downward, and suddenly is impaled upon a large piece of scrap metal. Still holding on to his precious life for a few moments, a Chocobo comes up, farts, and he dies of asphyxiation.
Reno:
Oh, Reno, such a fine mercinary. I'm sure he'll die on the job, he'll get caught up in a vessel of some sort set to self destruct, clinging to his untold love Elena, and his brother-like friend Rude.
Elena and Rude:
Just covered them with Reno.
If you guys want to see anyone else die, be sure to post it in your reviews.zf
Cloud:
Cloud strolls along a small footpath on a mountain, gazing into the air. All of a sudden, he sees Aeris ahead of him! Not noticing she's a hallucination, he runs full speed ahead of himself falling head over heels down a cliffside to his doom.
Tifa:
Tifa is silently stalking Cloud, and sees him run off the cliffside. "Wait for me!" she yells, and jumps off the cliff right after him.
Barret:
Barret's seen in the shower, with appropriate censor bars. He's soaping up, and all of a sudden *RATTA-TATTA-TATTA-TAT! And high-pitch screaming* and next thing you know, Barret's bleeding profusely in the shower, and dies almost immediately from the rapid loss.
Aeris:
Well of course, we've all seen this played out a million times, the Masamune comes swiftly down through her back and out through her chest with no blood spill at all, just a peaceful face of death, and a slow drowning into the pools of the City of Ancients.
Cait Sith:
Reeve runs the doll, but after Reeve dies, Cait Sith may live on for a while, but his batteries will surely run out, but his memory will live on forever.
Nanaki:
Nanaki might well be immortal, or he can turn into stone, ala Seto, either way, he'd rock into eternety.
Yuffie:
Yuffie can be seen strolling through the city streets of an urban area. Her hand sneakily grabs a few materia from a cart. "STOP YOU THEIVING GIRL!" a few gunshots are heard, and poor Yuffie has been made quick work of.
Vincent:
Vincent sees a full moon. Vincent turns into giant hell daemon. Giant hell daemon is so bulging that a vital vein pops. Giant hell daemon fall down and go boom. (Sorry for my reversion into 1st grade grammar . .)
Cid:
As a carefully panned screenshot comes down to see Cid, he's hacking up a lung while holding a cigarette in his hand. No one in sight, he keeps choking on smoke, and ends up convulsing on the ground until he suffocates to death.
Ah yes, those were the easy characters, but now!
Dyne:
Of course you saw him jump, but here's how it could have ensued afterwards! Dyne smashes into a large branch on the cliff, breaking his spinal column. He continues to tumble downward, and suddenly is impaled upon a large piece of scrap metal. Still holding on to his precious life for a few moments, a Chocobo comes up, farts, and he dies of asphyxiation.
Reno:
Oh, Reno, such a fine mercinary. I'm sure he'll die on the job, he'll get caught up in a vessel of some sort set to self destruct, clinging to his untold love Elena, and his brother-like friend Rude.
Elena and Rude:
Just covered them with Reno.
If you guys want to see anyone else die, be sure to post it in your reviews.zf