Twilight Story-Bella/Jacob and Bella/Edward. No owns.
The Choices We Make.
Why did it have to be like this. Why do I have to choose one of them. I love Edward. More then I could ever express. But Jacob is my best friend. More then my best friend. My lover.
Why does Edward have to be so calm and collective. I love the way his smooth granite like icy cold hands, run up and down my skin. They way he looks at me. How he can have so much control when we make love.
How we make love. Make love. It's sweet and passionate. How he goes slow. Even though his mind is racing. How he can hit the same spot, exactly the same spot, every time. I know he really loves me. With his un-beating heart.
But Jacob. Jacob. His hot hands. That are like fire to my skin. Even thought they are the rough hands of a werewolf, I love they way they feel. Even if he's just holding my tiny hands, or holding me after sex.
Sex with Jacob, SEX with Jacob. I know he loves me. It's as rough as his skin. As animalistic as he is. Mind-blowing sex. It amazes me how he doesn't lose control. He pushes me up against the wall, down on the floor. Up and down everywhere. But never shaking out of his skin, he never loses control.
Why! The two people closest to me, mortal enemies. When I'm with Edward, I am whole. He is the love of my life. No, the love of my existence. I couldn't live without him.
I don't think I could live with out Jacob either. I love him. I'm not in love with him. I love being with him. Being in his presence. Having him in me. But I'm in love with Edward. Edward alone.
Am I? Do I love Jacob? More then I can tell myself... I need to stop thinking about this. I love Edward. No doubts. I love him. For all that he is. Don't I? Stop it. I love Edward. Jacob is just my best friend.
If he is just my best friend, then why did I let it get out of hand. Why do I keep letting it happen. Because it's good. NO! Great, amazing sex. That I can't get enough of. Jacob loves me. I love him.
No, I love Edward. I love making love with Edward. I love Edward inside of me. I love the way he holds my hand. And how he kisses me. I love Edward. Love love love him.
I got up and walked to my door. I had locked myself in there. I needed to think. I needed to clear my head and sort my thoughts. But had I? Or am I just more confused? I need to see him. Which him was I talking about...Jacob.
I had to say goodbye to Jacob. School would be over soon. And I would be going away with the Cullens and becoming one of them. That's all I ever wanted. I would never be able to see Jacob again. I would never be able to see him again.
Oh no. I'm doing it again. I sat back down on my bed. I love Edward. I want to be with him for eternity. I am so close to that too. Why do I have to make this so hard? I had my knees up with my arms wrapped around them. I didn't even notice Edward come through the window.
"Alice said you looked like something was wrong." His smooth velvet voice said. But I didn't reply. I couldn't. I was glad he couldn't read my thoughts, because I was thinking about Jacob. Sex with Jacob actually.
"What's wrong?" He was sitting next to me with his arms wrapped around me. I realized I was crying as he wiped the tears away. "Bella?"
"Charlie won't be home until after dark" I said in my shaky voice. I take back what I said. I wish he could read my thoughts now. So I wouldn't have to play this game.
I needed him. I needed to know. I needed him now. But I think he could tell my my face. He was on top of me. I reached up and laced my fingers through his hair and planted my lips onto his. A fierce kiss. There was something different. He was different.
He was thirsty.
I don't know why I didn't see it before. His eyes were dark. They matched the circles under his eyes. "Edward..." He was still on top of me. Mouth still open from the kiss. "Edward." He went in for another kiss, but I was rolling onto my side.
"Edward, go hunt. I know you're thirsty. Don't worry about me." He wasn't going down easily. He reached out to wrap his arms around me again."Go." His face was unsure. "Ill be fine. I promise."
"Okay, I love you. I'll be back soon. "He placed a kiss on my forehead and went out the window. Bye Edward, my love.
I hoped Alice went with him. Because I was going there. Where she couldn't see me. I had to see him. I needed him. I was going to tell him. Tell him it was over. I love Edward. But that I loved him too. And always would. But that it would never work.
I ran down the steps to the kitchen. I left Charlie a note saying I was at Jacob's and not to wait up. And ran to my truck.
---------------
Authors Note: Woo! First story. I love the Twilight series. :D Tell me what you thought! I have the next chapter half written, and it's got some super hot sex in it. XD Much love.