AN: So when a certain author's other half happens to reside in a totally different continent, it apparently results in said author experiencing some serious sexual frustration. Somehow or another that brought back some memories of my secondary school Biology teacher, and just how delicious he was. So I'm hashing out my sexual frustration by living vicariously through Eddie and Bells and forcing them to play out one of my many fantasies involving me and Dr and him did actually bond over our mutual love of The Jam, and I soon found out he had an ace taste in music, which I added to a little by introducing him to DCFC and Placebo. Read the AN at the end of the story if you wanna read more dirt and see where I got my inspiration from. The story is set in England, mostly because I have no idea about the American education system, so if there is anything that you don't quite understand please don't hesitate to ask me about Dirty Talking Edward :)

Also; Title is mine and Dr Dixon's favourite The Jam song. I suggest you listen to it!

AN2: OMG! Doc manager screwed up massively and I only realized the insane mistakes just now! Sorry guys :(

Disclaimer: Ich nicht Twilight besitzen. Otherwise translated as 'My name is not Stephenie Meyer, now quit reminding me that I don't own Edward Cullen and leave me to mourn his lack of prescence in my life.' Neither do I own Happy Tree Friends, Salad Fingers, Bonnie Tyler, or any other shit I mentioned.

The Eton Rifles.

I first dealt with Dr Cullen in my first year at secondary school. It was only my third week and he reprimanded me for wearing a hat indoors, it seemed that he was a stickler for abiding the rules, especially when it came to the school dress code. I took very little notice of him at the time, being only 11 years old and having a fierce crush on Josh Rowe.

Over time my crush for Josh had taken a back seat and I was busily mooning over my boyfriend Ashley, whom I had met at cadet camp. I was very much enamoured with him, and being the typical young, teenage girl, I had taped a picture of us together on the back of my school planner.

It was my third year in secondary school, and I was in top set science. Truthfully, I was in top set of all my classes, but science was the only class that I didn't feel like a charlatan in. Our class had a rotation, so we switched teacher every term. Dr Cullen and I crossed paths in spring term. He was head of the Biology department by then, and after our first lesson with him I determined that he wasn't the ogre I previously thought. He was actually a pretty great teacher. He was funny, knew what he was talking about and had an amazing taste in music. But, most importantly, he was stunning.

I had never understood girls that got crushes on teachers, I thought it was kind of gross, especially given that I didn't take well to authority figures, but I soon changed my mind upon setting my sights on Dr Cullen. I couldn't understand how anyone could not develop a crush on him.

A few weeks passed and I grew more and more tired of Ashley, I often found excuses to not hang out with him and kept phone conversations short. I didn't exactly know why I was acting the way I was, I cared a lot for him, so my actions made no sense. Apparently, I had zoned out of class whilst considering this. I started at the cool contact on my shoulder, and looked up to see Dr Cullen smiling down at me, making no effort to remove his hand. He gestured to the picture I had been gazing absently at, and took a seat in the empty stool beside me.

"Boyfriend?" He questioned in a low whisper, seeming to not want to bring too much attention to our conversation. I nodded in response. "You two having problems?" I nodded again, taking my lip between my teeth and nibbling. I didn't notice at the time how his gaze fell upon my lips momentarily, before he looked back to the picture. "Well, that is a shame," His eyes met mine, "You two look very cute together." He offered me his gorgeous, panty dropping, crooked grin, and lifted himself from the stool. I felt his fingers briefly brush through my hair before he went to assist a student with their hand in the air.

More time passed, and it was soon the last lesson of school term. Of course, that lesson was biology, and we all knew that Dr Cullen would have something fun planned.

He didn't disappoint. We watched old episodes of Happy Tree Friends and Salad Fingers, played a random music quiz, and he somehow managed to convince Jess and I to perform our infamous Bonnie Tyler imitation. As we stood on the lab table, singing our hearts our to Total Eclipse of the Heart, and watching Dr Cullen as he grinned at us, I realised that I would miss him. A lot. Biology lessons had quickly become a highlight 3 days a week, and I longed for them to come more regularly and last longer.

After my little revelation time seemed to move quicker, and only too soon the bell was ringing and signalling the start of the summer. I had unconsciously took longer packing up my things, and found myself starting at the fact that Dr Cullen and I were alone in the lab. He smiled warmly at me as I made my way up the aisle, and opened his arms for me. I giggled into his chest as his arms tightened around me. Taking a small moment to inhale his heavenly scent; honeysuckle, fresh linen, mint, coffee and that pure man smell. I felt decidedly less dejected when I pulled away, and managed a genuine smile for him.

"Have a good summer, Sir," I told him, a little shy due to the lack of other company. I noticed as his nose crinkled a little as he grinned wider.

"You too, Bella," He seemed to pause a moment, biting his lip and gazing into the distance, looking like he was trying to decide something. "Bella," His eyes returned to mine, and where strangely intense, causing a shiver to run down my spine.

"Yes, Dr Cullen?"

"Be safe," His mouth quirked into a teasing smirk and I made a show of rolling my eyes at him, he turned serious again, "I'm serious, Bella. I want you in one piece next term, I shall be taking your biology class permanently to prepare you for your GCSEs."

My heart leapt at this new piece of information, and it took all I could to not skip merrily out of the room.

Summer dragged. Ashley and I broke up within the second week of the holiday, and hanging out with Jess and Angela just got wearing, I didn't feel too much like hearing about their happy relationships. Charlie spent all his time fishing in Port Isaac with the guys and Mom had disappeared off on some New Age retreat with Phil. So I spent my time in the backyard, vainly trying to catch a tan and buried myself in the world of fiction. I tried not to dwell on Dr Cullen too often, but he was just unavoidable, always in my thoughts. I couldn't wait until the start of school term, both for the release of boredom, and because I would be able to see him again.

After what seemed like an eternity, the 6th of September finally rolled around, and I found myself buzzing with anticipation of the day ahead. I retrieved my timetable, and couldn't help do a small happy dance as I realised that my first lesson would be Biology, with none other than Dr Cullen.

If it was possible, he'd gotten even more amazing over the past 6 weeks. His normally dark bronze hair now had shimmering blonde highlights through it, presumably from the sun. He'd also acquired more freckles and they looked adorable scattered over the bridge of his nose and his cheekbones. I also suspected that it was a case of absence making the heart growing fonder.

I threw him a massive grin as I skipped past him, and straddled the stool next to Jessica. I tuned out of her meaningless drivel almost immediately, and took to watching Dr Cullen. His gaze met mine and he winked, causing me to grin at him.

'Good summer?' He mouthed at me, and I grinned and nodded. I gestured towards him, and mouthed 'did you?' at him. He nodded in response and we both grinned inanely at each other until Jessica nudged me, effectively breaking up the silent conversation.

The next few weeks passed and our first module exam was fast approaching. I had chosen Double Award Science for my Science GCSE, which meant that I would take 20 module exams over the next 2 years, have to complete 2 pieces of coursework and end the whole thing with a 3 hour exam at the end. There were two other options; Separate Science and Applied Science. Separate Science would have gotten me 3 GCSEs rather than the 2 I was going to gain, but the whole thing depended on one big exam at the end of the two years and one piece of coursework. Applied Science was focused wholly on coursework. I decided Double Award would be better for me as I only retained information for so long, and coursework just bored me. With a short attention span, that was never a good thing.

Plus, Double Award Science bought me 5 and a half hours with Dr Cullen.

I kind of loved my options.

We only had 2 more lessons before the exam and I was pretty confident I would do well. Dr Cullen had been making us complete practice tests for 2 weeks now, and my grade kept creeping up higher and higher. The tests were only 20 minutes long, being that they were only multiple choice questions and the paper only had 24 of them. I had been sat idle for the past 10 minutes. It seems I rocked these tests.

I used my time wisely. Dr Cullen was sat at his desk, shoulders hunched, glasses on and he seemed to be concentrated pretty intently on whatever he was reading. I watched as his brow puckered in agitation and his hand reached to tug at his hair. I suddenly felt incredibly jealous of those hands. His hair was insanely hot. The bronzed, wavy, unruly mess sat wildly atop that beautiful head of his, looking like the quintessential sex hair. It made me wonder just how messy it would be after sex. I cut those thoughts off pretty quickly. It was never, ever safe to think of such things. Especially when the object of my desires sat only a few feet in front of me.

I glanced up at the clock and noted that there was still 5 minutes to go. Dr Cullen noticed this as well and pulled his attention from his paper to notify the class. Just before his eyes fell back onto his reading material, they captured mine, and I couldn't help but be drawn into their swirling jade depths. His gaze didn't leave mine immediately, like I thought it would and instead it lingered upon me for several moments. My teeth caught my bottom lip in my trademark signal of discomfort, and his eyes fell from my eyes to my lips. When his eyes flickered back to mine I had to fight back a gasp. Even from my seat, some 20 yards away from him, I could tell that his eyes had darkened from his usual bright jade to a deep, glittering emerald. His lustful eyes burned into me and I found myself having to squeeze my thighs together to elevate some of the tension that had suddenly flamed within me.

The timer went off, signalling the end of the test and effectively breaking our moment. Part of me was rather relieved, any longer with the eye-fucking and I would not have been responsible for my actions. Even though I wouldn't have been too bothered, I highly doubt my classmates would have appreciated a free look into the Dr Cullen/Bella Swan daylight show.

As per usual routine, Dr Cullen made us all swap our test sheets with the person beside us and read out the questions for us to mark. I grinned in congratulations at Angela's 15 out of 24, which earned her a C grade. I caught sight of my own mark, which Jessica handed to me, and I was unable to hold in my squeal of delight. The two girls giggled with me, and Jess leaned in to give me a hug. Dr Cullen then called out the register, the idea was for us to call out our test score so he could record it in the register log and that he could tell us the grade it would earn.

His eyes landed on me as my name came up and he grinned a little, "Miss Swan, score please."

"24, Dr Cullen." I answered. His face was a pure expression of shock for a few adorable seconds, before he pulled himself together and positively beamed at me.

"Well done, Bella. That is incredible, hardly surprising," He tilted his head to the side a little and I felt my face heating up with a blush, "But nonetheless, incredible. That equates to an A*." Jess squealed and her and Angela were bouncing in their seats in excitement for me. The rest of the class gave their scores, and I was a little bit proud that the highest mark after my own was a B average. The bell rang to signal the end of class, and I started packing my things away reluctantly.

"Bella, I'd like to speak with you for two minutes if that is okay?" Dr Cullen's voice rang out from the front of the class and Jess winked at me before flouncing out of the classroom. I hung back as the class emptied before walking up to Dr Cullen's desk, which he was now leaning against with his arms folded. I sighed internally as I noted that he looked every inch the GQ model. His lips tilted in his familiar crooked smile as I drew closer to him, coaxing my lips to quirk in response.

"You did good today, Bella," His voice was almost a whisper as he pushed away from his desk and hovered close to me. My face burned in the all too familiar blush and I nodded, unable to form a coherent response with him so close to me. He was so close that his beautiful scent attacked my senses and my mouth watered a little. A lock of hair fell in front of my eyes, and before I could move it, Dr Cullen's fingers reached out and tucked it carefully behind my ear. His finger lingers near my face as our gazes locked again, the feel of his knuckle slowly brushing against my cheek sent a shiver down my spine. I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard, and his brows furrowed slightly. His mouth opened and closed like he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the right words, so I waited patiently for him.

His voice was low and raspy as he finally used his words, "Bella," He paused, dragging his eyes back to gaze into my own, "I shouldn't be doing this."

My mind began to race at his words, trying to decipher the meaning behind them, wondering if the meaning I had gleaned from them was just wishful thinking or really what he had meant.

"What do you mean, Dr Cullen?"

He looked to the floor for a few moments before looking back to me, his expression one of worry and vulnerability.

"You have no idea," His voice had gotten even more raspy, and I couldn't help but think it was the sexiest thing I had ever heard, "Bella, I-" He cut himself off, pushing his hand through his hair and began pacing. I hopped up on the lab table, watching his movements, noting that he looked almost feline in his grace. He turned towards me suddenly, "I feel so disgusting, Bella, I mean…" He whirled around again, a growl of frustration erupted from his mouth and I very almost violated him there and then. "Fuck, Bella," he slapped his hand down on the desk, "You are 15 years old, you're not even legal, and dammit I want you!"

I almost fell over in shock. Dr Cullen, Captain of the Should-be-a-male-model crew, Head of the Biology department, wanted me. I had lusted after this man all year. And he wanted me. He was so insanely beautiful, and he wanted me. Me, plain, average, Bella Swan.

I gaped openly at him and he must have mistook my expression for horror as he suddenly started spewing out apologies right, left and centre. He was almost hysterical. He wouldn't calm down no matter how much I tried to get him to listen to me, so I did the only thing I could think of.

I grabbed a fistful of his tie and yanked him toward me. I locked my ankles around his legs and planted my lips over his, effectively silencing him. I pulled away after a few seconds, my lips tingling from his touch, and I looked him in the eye.

"With all due respect, Dr Cullen, shut the fuck up." He stared at me, his eyes wide and his jaw hanging in shock. He blinked, his tongue running over his lips and the shock gave away to a look of wonder.

"You just kissed me," He whispered, his tone matter of fact.

"I did."

"You just kissed me, Bella Swan, that's…that is highly inappropriate." I frowned at him before I found his lips quirked into a crooked smirk. I rolled my eyes at him and nudged his ribs.

"Oh, so telling your student that you want her is appropriate?"

"Touché"

We grinned at each other for a moment, before I decided that I missed his lips and leant towards him. He quickly caught onto my trail of thought, and placed his palm against my cheek. His lips brushed against mine and my eyes fluttered shut. I couldn't help the moan that escaped me as our lips moulded together. My hands soon found their way into his hair, running through it and finding that it was as soft as I had imagined it would be. He groaned against my mouth as I gently tugged at a few locks, the sound sending a thrill through my body. His tongue gently swiped over my bottom lip, silently asking for permission into my mouth, and I readily accepted. His tongue glided over my own, and I instantly knew I was in heaven. All too soon, the need for oxygen became apparent, and we pulled away. My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath. Dr Cullen's head fell upon my shoulder and I absently ran one hand down his back, while lightly scratching his scalp with the other. I felt his lips raining kisses over the small patch of exposed skin over my collarbone, drawing a whimper from me. His lips felt utterly divine against me.

"Dr Cullen?" I whispered, starting slightly when I noticed the husky tone my voice had adopted. He hummed his attention against my skin, which caused me to lost my trail of thought momentarily. "Um, there's something I should probably tell you." He pulled away from me quickly, his eyes piercing into mine and his brow furrowed.

"What is it, Bella?"

I took a deep breath before answering, "I'm not 15, I uh, I was held back in preschool because of my serious lack of attention span." His face was a picture of confusion and I knew I would have to spell it out for him. "Dr Cullen, I'm 16 years old." His eyes lit up in understanding, before darkening into the lust filled emerald I had seen earlier.

"You're legal, Little Swan," His grin was positively feral and the huskiness of his voice almost caused my ovaries to explode, right there. I nodded, having no coherent reply for him. "You're not jailbait," he continued, his lips moved to my ear, his warm breath tickling my throat causing yet another shiver. "You know what that means, Bella?" He whispered, I shook my head in the negative, "That means that I can fuck you right here on this desk." I moaned, loudly. I squirmed a little, my underwear was suddenly soaked and my arousal was pulsing between my legs. It was both pleasurable and highly uncomfortable. "Would you like that, baby? Would you like it if I took you right here, my big, hard cock pounding into your tight pussy." I was panting by this time, I hummed my agreement, fisting my hand into the hair at the nape of his neck. I felt his tongue flick against my earlobe before he carried on his whispering. "You know who sits here Bella? That disgusting , slimy Newton boy. I despise the way he looks at you, like he would do anything to get his filthy paws on you. It makes my blood boil." I whimpered, utterly thrilled that I brought out his inner caveman. "You know that picture you had on your planner last year, the one of you and that boy," he spat out the word 'boy' like it was a filthy curse word, and I nodded, "I wanted to tear it off and burn it, I hated that he could touch you and I couldn't." He teeth captured my earlobe then, drawing it between his lips as he sucked gently. I about died, the sensation going straight to the centre of my arousal. I couldn't stand his teasing lips and words any longer, I would surely combust if I didn't feel some part of him against me. I scooted to the edge of the lab table, my legs wrapping tighter around his which brought him flush to me. I shifted my hips a little and couldn't fight off my gasp of pleasure. The lab table was fairly high, so when I shifted my hips it brought our crotches perfectly in line, and I made an amazing discovery. Dr Cullen was hard. Very, very hard. My hips shifted again and both of us let out long groans of pleasure. His head had dropped back on my shoulder. I felt his hand skim down my back and cup my ass, roughly pushing me against him again. I had never done this before, the only remotely sexual stuff I had indulged in was strictly upper body, so the feelings coursing through me were utterly foreign. Nevertheless, I instinctually knew that I had to carry on, to stop now would cause the world to spin off it's axis. Apparently Dr Cullen agreed with this, as his hips bucked into me and started grinding purposefully. My hands gripped onto his shoulders, my breath coming in loud pants, I felt my stomach start to tighten a little and a highly pleasurable ache started to build.

"Oh fuck, Bella!" Dr Cullen moaned out, he peppered kisses over my neck. I was aware that I should have been embarrassed by the sounds I was emitting, but I couldn't quite bring myself to care. The ache became more apparent and I felt my stomach tighten even more. Everything fell away into insignificance, and gave way to sensation. I was vaguely aware of Dr Cullen's voice and had to strain to focus upon his words.

"Let it go, Bella. Please, Baby, let it go," I briefly wondered what he was talking about, until he growled out the words that brought upon my demise, "Come for me, Bella." With that my entire body exploded into the most exquisite pleasure. I registered that someone was screaming, before realising belatedly that the screams where my own. I came back to earth slowly, feeling Dr Cullen's lips scattering kisses all over my face. I smiled against them as they came into contact with my own lips and we leisurely kissed for several minutes. Our lips parted and he rested his forehead against my own. His glittering emeralds sparkled into my chocolate orbs, and I smiled up him.

"Wow," I whispered. His hummed in response, and pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose.

"Bella," he whispered, "Um, had you ever….before?" I was vaguely amused at his coyness, after remembering his blunt words from earlier.

"Nope, that was my first ever." I felt the rumble in his chest and knew that the caveman within him was satisfied.

"Bella, you know that you can call me Edward, right?" I looked up at him, my expression that of bemusement, he smiled down on me and pressed a quick to my lips before answering, "You were, um, screaming my…name…when you…" he stuttered a little which I found utterly adorable, "You screamed 'Dr Cullen' over and over, and well, you can call me Edward outside of class." I giggled and nodded in acknowledgement. It dawned on me that this wasn't just a one time thing for him, that he intended on carrying this on. I had never felt happier than I did in this moment. I had just had the object of my affection declare his desire for me, experienced my first orgasm and found that this was to be the first of many. I knew that this relationship would be complicated, him being my teacher and all, I knew that we would have to operate in secret. We were risking so much by doing this. But this I knew for sure, the one thing that stopped me from just throwing in the towel here and now.

I had fallen in love with Dr Edward Cullen, and there wasn't a single thing in this world that would stop this being totally worth it.

AN: M'kay, so for starters; Josh and Ashley are real people. Me and Ash did actually meet at Cadet camp and were together for a good 6 months. E and B's conversation about the picture of the couple did actually happen, not quite in those words, but it was an actual event in my life. I had a massive crush on Josh from year 5 until year 11...we were at a party together a few months ago and ended up making out the whole time - he told me he'd liked me the whole damn time, so frustrating! Happy Tree Friends is some twisted little cartoon of epicness that used to air on MTV, we watched it a lot in DD's lessons. Salad fingers is equally creepy, but we only ever watched it in Chemistry lessons with Mr Power (dude has the Best. Name. Ever. Edward Power! Fuck yeah!). I suggest you check both shows out if you haven't already. The whole Bonnie Tyler thing...yep...that happened. Me and my friend Sophie were high on sugar one day and well...it became one of DD's favourite things to make us probably noticed that Edward is very tactile in this, and it probably seems odd for a student/teacher relationship, but the rules regarding that crap are pretty laxed in England and DD and I were very openly tactile. I mentioned a tie somewhere in this...uh...DD failed at choosing the right tie for his shirt, so would come and find me at morning registration everyday so I could pick his tie for him. He has a wife, why I needed to do it is completely beyond me. But it always amused me so I never complained.I do have a lot of funny stories regarding Dr Dixon, so if you are in anyway interested in our drunken shenanigans in France, or why I ended up losing my shoes at a Paul Weller concert we went to together, you can always ask :)

Reviews are always greatly appreciated!