Written for the Secondhand Serenade Challenge.
This pairing was 'discovered' by Mew.
This is not what I intended,
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart,
You always thought that I was stronger,
I may have failed,
But I've loved you from the start.
Fall For You
(Secondhand Serenade)
It was getting harder and harder to play along with her act. She was smart – he'd give her that much. They hadn't been caught… yet. Somehow she'd always managed to pull him away from the unwelcome crowd, and even stranger still, she managed to find that one spot where no one would look for them. And for a few minutes, maybe hours, Lorcan would feel complete. He wouldn't be a half, and he wasn't that Loony girl's son. He was just Lorcan, and he liked that.
Every time they'd have the same conversation, and he hated it. Did she want him to leave? Didn't she want him any more? Every time she'd apologize, and all his doubts would be smoothed over, like they'd never even crossed his mind.
"Lorcan," Padma started, noting the way his face fell ever so slightly. He'd been expecting this, and she knew it killed him that his expectations were becoming reality. It hurt him every time. She just had to make sure. "You really want this?"
He sighed, running a hand through his blonde locks and collapsing against the shed bench. "Yes, Padma," he replied, falling into the routine easily, and just for her sake, playing his part. He was meant to be the innocent one that she had corrupted. Of course, he knew that it was him that had made the first move.
"Your mother is my friend," Padma protested. "I could be your mother. I'm old enough to be, you know."
She was the voice of reason in the relationship, and Lorcan wished more than anything that instead of analysing every single detail that she'd just fall – that she'd let him catch her.
"I don't care."
"You should, Lorcan," she smiled weakly, placing her hand on his cheek. "It'll bother you one day."
Naturally, he swore it never would – he lied. In truth, the age difference did bother him just a little bit. Not enough to make him throw it all away, but enough to make him a teensy-weensy bit doubtful.
He supposed that he'd always known that it wouldn't work out. Eventually Padma, being the smart girl that she was, realized that too, and she stopped taking him away, and she stopped asking him those questions. Things had gotten too hard. The secret was becoming harder and harder to bear. So he'd given up. Sure, he'd started the whole thing, and at the time, he had been so sure of himself. It hadn't been a game, either. He had truly loved her – ever since he'd heard his mother talk about her friend he had been intrigued.
He loved how she smiled, and how she said his name. He loved it when she'd pull him away from the crowds so that they could be together and alone. He loved that she didn't push him, and how she reasoned with him, even though he was young and stubborn and there was no way he wasn't going to back down. He loved the way she gave him a choice, and told him from the beginning that it probably wouldn't work.
He hated that she was right – she always was.