Okay this is my very first S/T fiction and at first I wasn't going to post it because it started out at as a form of therapy after what happen last week. I was really in need of fiction that didn't kill Sybil so I started this one.
I'm not sure if this will be a one-parter or more chapters will follow but I just wanted to share this with the group. English is not my first language and I have not Beta so please be kind. I've done my best and I hope you'll like it .

All air seemed to have been sucked out of the room; each breath was a struggle to him and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't seem to catch his breath. He slummed down on the bed next to her fearing that fall over if he didn't sit down.
Desperately clutching her hand in his hoping the feeling of her hand in his would bring him the relief and comfort that it normally did but it didn't. Her touch had soothed him whether it was her hand on top of his when they sat next to each other at Downton or when they snuggled close together in their bed in their small Dublin flat.

He brought her left hand to his lips and kissed the narrow gold band on her ring finger. Their wedding day would be forever edged in his mind she looked so beautiful and she made her way down the aisle on the arm of his brother. He had let out a small gasp as she placed her hand in his. They had both struggled to hold back the tears as they exchanged their vows and it had been the happiest day of his life.

They had settled into their life together, Sybil started her working at the women's clinic and he his work at the paper. They had struggled a little to make ends meet but they had been happy. Tom loved coming home to her, it broke his heart a little to find that she would be so exhausted from her work that she would often fall asleep in front of the fire. But he had quickly learned that she loved her job and how fulfilling it was for her to care for women and children of Dublin.

When she had told him that she was pregnant he had been surprised they hadn't thought it would happen so soon but he had been overjoyed. He had pulled her close planting a powerful kiss on her lips before pulling her into his arms and whispered how much he loved her. When they had gone to bed that night his hand travelled to her still flat belly and that would be its permanent home for the next nine months.
He had found most of the changes she went through during her pregnancy fascinating, but the sound of her being sick made him very uncomfortable. The first couple of months of pregnancy had been really hard on her she had been sick several times a day and she had struggled to keep food down. He would get up with her, hold her hair back and apply a cold cloth on her neck or forehead. She had been so grateful for his help and she doubted that her mother had received the same help from her father; she even doubted that her sisters would get the same help.

The sickness had been replaced by an increase in her energy level she had spent time with his Ma making clothes for the baby. The first results have been a little off and there had been times where he would have to bite the insdie of his cheek to keep from laughing but as time went by she had gotten much better. Since they had been married Sybil had been very open about her affections for him but it had increased during her pregnancy.

One night when he came home late from work she had met him at the door barely letting him get inside before she had throw herself in his arms kissing him hard on the lips, as she pushed his coats of his shoulders and pushed him hard against the closed door as she whispered "I've missed you so much."

Tom let go of Sybil's hand and walked over to the window, this place felt so foreign to him and not a day went by where he didn't miss Dublin. He longed to return home to their small flat, his family and the life they had shared there. He felt her hand on this shoulder but he continued to stare out the window.

She brought her other hand up to his cheek and forced him to look at her "Tom have you heard a word I've said?"

Tom swallowed the lump forming in his throat "I did, where is Saoirse?"

"She's napping" she answered with a smile and tried to pull his face closer to hers.

Tom placed a quick kiss on her forehead "I'm going to go look in on her."

"No, she is fine I want you to stay here" Sybil stepped in front of him and the look on her face made it clear to him that she wasn't going to change her mind.

Tom rubbed his forehead how did this happen, he knew how but he had been careful. And with Saoirse getting close to her third birthday a small part of him wondered if she was going to be the only child they would had secretly wondered if the caesarean section, despite Sybil's fast recovery from it had caused her injuries they hadn't known off.

They never planned on Saoirse being and only child but that august night still haunted him. Sometimes when he looked at Sybil and Saoirse playing together he was reminded how close he had been to losing them both. So as far as he was concerned as long as he had his girls he had everything he needed to be happy.

He had come so close to losing Sybil once and he couldn't go through that again. He wanted so much to be as happy as she was. But all he could think about was sounds she had made on the way to the hospital, the fear in her eyes when doctor Clarkson explained her condition or sitting on the hospital floor begging God to let his wife and child live.

"Darling are you sure?" Tom did his best to disguise the fear and worry this news caused him.

A bright smile lit up her entire face "yes I thought I might be so I went to see doctor Clarkson and he confirmed it, we're going to have another baby."

Sybil tried to guide his hand to her still flat belly but she felt him resist she frowned and looked up at him with eyes filled with confusion and hurt. "Tom are you not happy about this?"

Tom bowed down and rested his forehead against hers he swallowed hard.

"I have never been as scared as I was that night; I was pleading with God to keep you safe. Wondering if I had made the right decision in bringing you to the hospital I felt so helpless. When I was waiting for news, all I could think about was how I couldn't do it without you I wouldn't have been able to care for Saoirse without you. I wouldn't know where to go or what to do... I "

Tears burned in Sybil's eyes it wasn't until now that she fully understood the full impact that night had had on Tom. She had seen the worry and relief in his eyes when she woke up after the surgery. He had been very protective of them both when they came home from the hospital and had wanted to send for doctor Clarkson at the slightest sneeze or signs of fatigue.
And in the weeks that followed he had been so careful around them, sleeping very little constantly checking up on her or watching over Saoirse as she slept. She could feel his worry when they lay in their bed and she snuggled up to him as she always did and he would seem scared of touching her.
Until one night when she had grabbed him by the shoulders and told him that she and Saoirse were doing just fine and they were not made of glass.
It had helped a little but it took some time before he finally began to relax and she thought they had put it behind them.

Sybil took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her "you are a wonderful father and if God forbid something was to happen to me I know you would continue to be a wonderful father."

Tom tried to look away but she held his face still "I don't want to die and I will fight with everything I have to make sure that doesn't happen but we cannot let fear ruin this. Remember the promise you made to me in York?"

Tom gave her a crooked smile, how could he forget the day he took the biggest risk of his life or how she turned him down "I remember the word flattered."

Sybil leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips "you said you would devote every waking minute to my happiness and you have honoured that promise. Having Saoirse made me so happy and so will this new baby and I know that no matter what happens our little family will be fine."

Tom wrapped his arms around her kissing her just below her ear and whispered "oh my darling I do love you so much."

Sybil ran her fingers through his hair "good because I love you too so very much."

She felt Tom relax and slowly turned around in his arms resting her head against his shoulder "what would you like a boy or a girl?"

Tom exhaled deep and tightened his hold on Sybil "I want you and the baby to be safe and if I can have that then I'll be a happy man."

Sybil reached up and cupped his face in her hand "I keep imagining a little boy with bright blue eyes and a cheeky grin."

Tom couldn't help but smile "you must not be aware of all the trouble the Branson boy's got into back in Dublin."

Sybil giggled "you'd be surprised at the stories your mother has told me, I think she wanted me to be prepared if Saoirse had been a boy."

Tom turned her around "what exactly has she told you?"

Sybil laughed at his shocked expression "about the time Ciaran and you slid down the icy roof of a shed in a box and scaring old Mr. O'Leary to death. Or how about the time you got your head stuck between the bars of a fence and they had to cut you free."

Tom instinctively rubbed his ears; he could still remember how much it hurt when they tried to pull him out. And how his brothers had been rolling on the ground laughing while his mother was telling him off and rubbing grease all over his face in an attempt to get him free.

Sybil could see how uncomfortable the memory made her husband and she tried to hold back her laugh but she couldn't. The image was so clear in her mind and the pouty look he was giving her now only made it harder and she burst out laughing.

Tom looked at her with slightly annoyed "I wasn't my fault Ciaran made me do."

"You tried to give Roisin away to your neighbours."

Tom shook his head quiet adamantly "no, no it was a game she was going on an adventure."

"She was two."

Sybil composed her herself and rose to the tip of her toes and gave him a quick kiss.

"But despite those stories and others I still can't wait to have my own Branson boy running around getting into trouble just like his Da. And just think maybe with a little luck this little one might be born back home in Dublin."

The idea of this new baby being born in Ireland would mean so much to him but he wasn't going to take any chances with her health this time where would be no travelling. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure that nothing went wrong this time. Tom crossed the room and sat down on the bed.

"As much as I would love for this baby to be born back home we're not taking any risks this time, we need to be very careful."

She quickly closed the gap between them "what if doctor Clarkson says is safe for me to travel?" Sybil knew Tom respected doctor Clarkson opinions and insight when it came to her or Saoirse.

"Darling we don't even know if we can go back yet."

She stood in front of him resting her hands on his shoulders her heart broke at the sadness in her husband's voice. It happen every time they spoke of Ireland and his family that they hadn't seen for so long and who had never met Saoirse.

"We will go home again soon I'm sure of it. And can you imagine how happy your mother will be seeing Saoirse and learning she's going to be a grandmother again."

Tom swallowed a lump in his throat his Ma had been so happy when they told about the baby and she had been such a big help to both of them but especially Sybil. She had taken Sybil under her wing helping and preparing her for the arrival of the baby.
It had made both Tom and Sybil sad that plans for the baby's birth had been changed. And Tom knew that despite what she had written in her letter's that his Ma was heartbroken at not having been there for the birth or even ever met Saoirse.

Sybil bowed her head and rested her forehead against his "She misses you so much and after having Saoirse I know how much she must be hurting."

"She misses all three of us."

"And that's why I want us to go back as soon as we can, she has been so good to me and such a big help. She couldn't be there for Saoirse's birth but I really want her to be there when the new baby come."

Tom leaned in and captured her lips with and pulled her down on his lap "I love you Sybil Branson."

Sybil reached out for Tom but all she found was his side of the bed cold and empty. She sat up and looked around the room but all she saw was darkness. Then she noticed door was slightly open she crawled out of bed and grabbed her dressing from chair next to her dressing table.

She pulled open the door and without a second thought she walked over to Saoirse's room where she knew she'd find him. She found him standing next to Saoirse's bed like he had done so many nights before.

She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest "what are you doing up darling?"

Tom looked back over his shoulder "I could ask you the same thing"

"I woke up and you were gone."

Tom lifted her right hand and brought it to his lips "you know how she always kicks of her covers so I wanted to make sure she wasn't cold."

Sybil stepped around him took his hand and gave it a little tug "come back to bed she will be up before you know it."

"She looks so much like you, just look she even sleeps in the same position as."

Sybil shook her heard "when I held her for the first time the first thing I noticed was her bright blue eyes, your eyes staring right back at me."

They slowly made their way out of Saoirse's bedroom leaving the door slightly open Tom held back the covers as she crawled back into bed with him.

She shivered when she felt his hot breath on her neck. "I am really happy about the new baby; just promise me you will be careful."

"I promise" her eyes began to drop but the last thing she felt before sleep overtook her was Tom's warm gentle hand on her still flat belly.