Title: Love me When I'm Gone
Author: Illuma
Fandom: Magic Knight Rayearth
Rating: T
Warnings: Warning of a future death.
Characters: Hikaru, Lantis
Feedback: Feedback is always welcome!
Summary: Hikaru has a secret she's been keeping from everyone. After the last time they were summoned to Cephiro, they found a way to bring Lantis, Ferio, Ascot, Caldina, Lafarga, and Presea to Earth. They all thought they'd have a happy ending. They all thought everything would be alright.

A little over one year after their return, Hikaru had gone to her new doctor for a routine visit. It was at that visit that she found out about her sickness. She suffered in silence with it for seven years, not telling her beloved friends. The only people that knew, was her family. She couldn't bear telling anyone else. Her doctor all wondered… how long did she have left before she would stop responding to any treatments? How long before she would have to leave this world, and her loved ones behind? For now… only time will tell.
Author's Notes: A few things you all need to know. If I go out or character with their personalities, don't shoot me. I know them somewhat but I'm not perfect. I don't have the manga yet, and I only have the first season of it. I've watched a few episodes from the second one, but not all of them. I think there are about 9 or 10 left for me to see. I think that's about it.

Ah. Also for anyone who's read any of my other stories, yeah I'm experiencing a lot of writer's block for those. Except for Innocence Faded which the second chapter I'm currently working on. I don't know how soon it'll be up.

Oh yeah. A lot is being given away in the prologue. I'm doing this for a reason.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Magic Knight Rayearth. They belong to CLAMP. Fear them! Kay not really.

Prologue
----------

Hikaru coughed as she lay sleeping in her bed. Her coughing woke her, but thankfully not the man lying next to her. This man, he was everything to her, but she could never find the strength to tell him her deepest secret. The one she'd been keeping from every single friend. She felt that she could never tell them. She was supposed to be strong. She wasn't supposed to be sick. At least… not like this.

Moving slowly, Hikaru eased herself out of his warm embrace and left her bed, her feet softly hitting the carpeted floor. Covering her mouth as she started coughing again, she rose to her feet and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. She didn't want him to worry. She didn't want him to know. She wanted… she wanted to get better. For him. She wanted to spend a long life with her beloved Lantis. But that was one wish, no one could grant. Even with all of the medical advances, they could find no cure for leukemia. Her doctor had said that when she stopped responding to treatments, there would only be a little time left for her. She told her, that it would be best to tell her friends as soon as possible. Keeping it a secret for so long, would only bring more pain to them in the end.

She didn't want that. She didn't want her friends to suffer because of her mistake. But she was afraid. She was afraid of what they would say. What they would do. She didn't know if she could handle it.

Hikaru paused by the bedroom door before she moved to the couch, sitting down slowly. She lifted her left hand and looked down at the ring on her finger. She smiled down at it. Lantis had proposed to her three months ago. She had been so excited that all she could do was smile and nod at the time, her sickness forgotten for that one moment. She smiled again as her other hand moved to gently caress it.

The ring was beautiful. She smiled as her fingers moved lightly over the teardrop shaped diamond. On either side two delicate hearts framed accent diamond stones. Gently she removed the ring from her finger and turned it over in her hands, admiring it.

Hikaru looked up quickly when she heard footsteps in the bedroom. She didn't move to put the ring back on her finger when she saw Lantis coming towards her.

"Having second thoughts?" he asked as he sat down next to her.

"No," she said softly as she slid the ring back onto her finger. "I was just looking at it."

Lantis smiled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Is something wrong, Hikaru?" he asked.

"Not at all," she said. "I just couldn't sleep. That's all."

"Are you sure?" he replied.

"Yes. Nothing to worry about," she said as she leaned against him, cherishing the contact. Inwardly she sighed. Of course there is, she told her herself. But how can I tell you? I don't want you be in pain because of me. I don't want to hurt you.

"Alright," Lantis said. He wasn't going to press her. She would tell him if something was wrong if she really needed to. It wasn't like he could force it out of her anyways. "Do you want to sit here for awhile or come to bed?"

"I'm going to sit here for awhile. If… if you don't mind could I be alone? I have something to think about."

"Alright," he said again and slowly stood up, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "Goodnight," he said smiling before he rose completely and headed back to the bedroom, leaving the door open.

"How can I tell them? How can I tell him?" she asked herself, her voice barely audible. "I can't do it. I can't tell them. Too much pain is already in my life. Their pain would only make it worse. But they told me I needed to tell them. I have to tell them. But how can I tell them?" Hikaru couldn't stop repeating these thoughts over and over in her. How was she going to go about telling them? "Hey guys, guess what. I have leukemia. I'm going to die." Yeah. That made a lot of sense. She rolled her eyes and stood up. She'd figure something out. She had to tell them sooner or later. Might as well be the former.

She sighed inwardly as she headed back to the bedroom, closing the door behind her. She slid under the covers carefully and felt Lantis's arms wrap protectively around her.