Oh, Gross

Zim sat on a school cafeteria bench wondering if he should eat the food sitting in front of him, or throw it at a small child. At almost an instance, his arch-nemesis Dib was across from him.

"What's wrong, Zim?"

Zim was frustrated as is, so he pounded the table with his small fist covered with black leather.

"What is with you and that question, human? Is it a taunt, or are you just wanting to be around me?" Zim could see Dib's shock behind those huge glasses. "I just wanna be here if you explode, that's all," he replied with a devious smirk. "Mmmhm. Explode," he paused, "HA! That's ridiculous earth monkey." "Oh, really?" Dib scooped up in his palm a handful of the green slop on Zim's tray and shoved it into his mouth.

Zim choked and spit it out immediately. "Bah! You filthy little-" "So you were going to explode?" "No! as I said, that is ridiculous!" Dib looked around quickly. He had to find something to fight back with…

Dib spotted a cup of water. Hehehe…

He grabbed the cup off the dirty table despite a kid's protests and threw the water on Zim.

Zim started to scream bloody murder the minute the water touched his green epidermis. He fell to the floor coughing. Zim could hear Dib's laughter over the other children's. He grumbled something and got to his feet. He proceeded to take some mashed potatoes off Zita's tray and threw it back at Dib. The mush hit Dib square in the face, stopping his laughter cold. As for the others, they were louder than ever. Finally one kid screamed, "FOOD FIGHT!"

And all pandemonium broke loose. Every child in there that had arms threw something. Corn flew across the room like flocks of birds. Potatoes could be seen smooshing kids' faces everywhere. Dib and Zim took cover underneath the table.

"Great. This is your entire fault, you know that right?" Dib growled.

"MY fault? You threw the water!"

"You could have been the bigger person and walked away!"

"You are just stupid."

"Well I would say the same but-" A bump from a kid outside the table forced Dib's head forward, awkwardly locking lips with Zim.

Both of them in shock, neither moved for half a second. But in that half-second, The Letter "M" spotted them and screeched, "OH, GROSS!"

Both boys reacted poorly and yanked apart, hitting their heads on the table above in the process. They both groaned and ducked out. "You two were kissing!" the boy barked tauntingly. Dib waved his hands in protest and yelled back, "No! Some kid bumped me! You don't understand!"

"Riiiight!" a girl called, "Zim and Dib sitting in a tree!" Oh my God Dib whined in his head whyyy?

Zim didn't seem to react verbally. He just looked annoyed. He clenched his teeth at the children's taunting and yelled, "STOP!" at the top of his lungs. –Or whatever alien's use to breathe.

He hopped up on a table. "You cannot even comprehend how wrong you little demons are! Zim is not gay!" Dib's memory flashed back to the first time he and Zim kissed. It was completely Zim's doing. It was probably to annoy him. He explained prior that a guy kissing another guy was "gay".

This was going to be a looong day.

"Yeah huh!" The Letter "M" yelled back, "I saw them!" "Shut your filthy mouth filled with…" Zim eyed him curiously, "What is in your mouth?" "What Zim is trying to say is that I hate him!" Dib cut in, climbing on the table, "And we'll never ever EVER be gay together!" The kids shrugged. He heard "whatever" and "okay" and "who cares anyway?" amongst the crowd. Yes!

That's when Bitters showed up. "Dib!" she snapped, "You and your boyfriend will stay after school until all this is clean!" Dib groaned.

Great.

Wait.

Boyfriend?

The giggles of kids leaving the cafeteria could be heard throughout the halls.