Part I: Easy Come, Easy Ed
Chapter One

"A public transport bus en route from Peach Creek to Seattle was hijacked yesterday by an unknown entity. The bus was driven all through the night with 20 people on board without so much as a refueling stop. The hijackers relinquished the bus within the bounds of an amusement park in the Seattle area at around 9:30 this morning. There have been no reported injuries amongst the passengers.
"The passengers described the hijacker as being 15 inches tall with a red and blue smiley face. Some believe a 12-year-old boy with a watermelon rind on his head may have also been involved. Police have yet to confirm the identity of either suspect and are now conducting background checks of each passenger for any history of mental illness that could contribute to the unusual reports.
"Police have found no witnesses at the suspect's presumed destination, at the Mondo a-Go Go amusement park. The park's manager, 26-year-old Matthew Daniel McGee, was found in his trailer with a concussion and lipstick impressions all over his body. Although he claims to have seen a group of children from his old neighborhood in Peach Creek on his doorstep, including his younger brother, he said that none of them matched the description of the bus hijacker and he has no recollection of there ever being a bus in the park.
"At the time of the hijacking, police in Peach Creek were in the midst of investigating a bizarre occurrence at Rethink Avenue, which appeared to be a street vehicle accident. Adult residents were not present to witness the event unfolding but did note that their children were unaccounted for for 24 hours after the time established to have been when the incident happened. The children were found just under an hour ago returning to the neighborhood, and they too have no information pertaining to the mysterious wreck in the cul-de-sac."

A hand closed the radio's cassette tray, cutting off the rest of the news broadcast and replacing it with disco music.

"Let's get this party started!" The 14-year-old jock hopped down from the chair he was using to get the radio on the shelf and tuned to the right station.

The seven other kids present started dancing to the music as their host brought out jawbreakers for everyone. The three stars of the party got their share of jawbreakers first.

Edward Horace Winters was a dimwitted horror film and comic book addict. He was notorious among his peers for his extreme strength, embracement of filth, and his inhuman palate. At a high stature, he was the oldest and heaviest of the three newly cool trio of boys.

Edward Marion Daubeldi was almost the exact opposite; he was a physically weak, but highly intelligent neat freak. The only son of a British couple, he was the youngest and healthiest of the three boys. Despite his superlative social skills, there was always the question of why he always wears a hat.

Edward Skipper McGee was the unofficial leader of the group. He was short for his age as well as slightly overweight, though not grotesquely so like his lumpy friend. Today was the first day of his life that the kids in the neighborhood became friends with him, and this party was celebrating just that.

For the last two years, the three boys (nicknamed Ed, Edd, n Eddy respectively) had been developing a myriad of scams to make money off of their peers to purchase their favorite candy: jawbreakers. These ideas typically ended badly, and the kids tended to be less than friendly toward them because of that.

In fact, just the day before, the Eds set up a scam that nearly killed almost all of the kids in Peach Creek. The Eds were then chased out of Peach Creek and all the way to Seattle, where Eddy's brother lived.

Eddy's brother was a mysterious figure among the children of Peach Creek, credited by Eddy to many accomplishments, such as ruling over most if not all of the neighborhood's residents, being a professional con artist, even teaching his younger brother on being a scammer like himself.

As it turned out, the net of esteeming stories woven by Eddy about his brother was merely concocted as a means of covering up insecurity from years of sadistic torture and merciless humiliation inflicted by him. As such, Eddy had grown up believing that scamming was the only way to get respect from anyone.

This mindset backfired in ways no one could have imagined possible, and the Eds nearly paid their lives for it. But once the kids realized the reason for this behavior, and realized that Eddy only wanted to be liked by the people around him, they were quick to embrace the Eds with open arms.

The Eds returned to the dance floor, jawbreakers in cheek, and the rest of the kids got their treats one by one.

First up was the youngest boy with the large retainer. James Hansen, better known as Jimmy, had a reputation for being accident prone. He broke his teeth from one of Eddy's scams, and he has worn bandages and casts almost every day since then. Eddy had once trained him on being a scammer like him, and he has used those lessons well.

His little guardian went after him. Sarah Winters, Ed's younger sister, was notorious for her spoiled nature, her tendency to yell very frequently, and her ability to give anyone a hard time as she wished. She had bossed her brother around every day for years, always being the preferred child among her parents.

The tallest and oldest kid in the neighborhood was next. Rolf Sheppard moved to Peach Creek with his family from an overseas country with many unusual customs. Despite his awkward interactions with his peers, he has gotten along very well with the kids around him. He was now taking to establishing a true friendship with the Eds.

He was followed by the blond girl. Nazz van Bartonschmeer was the head of the school's cheerleading squad and was the object of many boys' affections, including the Eds'. She had at one point been extremely overweight until she was driven to work out in order to pursue her dream of cheerleading.

And lastly was the host of the party. Kevin Dorn was wildly popular among the kids of the neighborhood, being a star athlete and his father working at the local jawbreaker factory. He was the most resentful against the Eds' scamming nature, and Eddy's jealousy of him emphasized that. But now, they were taking steps to put it all behind them.

The kids all took to dancing together to the music as they sucked on their spherical candies.

The party dragged on well into the evening. Only when the last of the candy cores was chewed up and eaten did anyone realize that it was almost 11:00 PM.

"Whoa, we should really start heading home, dudes."

"I've never stayed up this late."

"It's okay, Jimmy. I can walk you home."

"Does baby sister need a walk home, too?"

"Oh, Ed. I can walk you home after we take Jimmy home."

"Hey, it's been a great time having you guys over."

"Why, thank you, Kevin. It's been a tremendous pleasure for you to invite us to your humble abode."

"Don't sweat it, Double D."

"I do believe we should make haste for home now; it's already well past curfew for many of us."

"Yeah. Later, Kev."

"See you guys tomorrow."

"Bye."

"Rolf awaits your company in the morning, Ed-boys."

"We'll be there, Stretch. Alright, you good with your sister there, Lumpy?"

"Yep."

"Alright. See ya tomorrow, Sockhead."

"Good night, Eddy."

As the children entered their homes, a shadowy figure emerged from a manhole in the street. A large squash emerged, revealing itself to be mounted atop a rather large head. A piece of wood followed after the boy, shutting the cover behind it.

The mysterious figure was Jonny Toubai-Fower. Formerly a mere nuisance to the kids of Peach Creek, now an outcast like the Eds had once been. By day, he hid in an underground lair spying on the unsuspecting kids. By night, he emerged as The Gourd, out to seek revenge on the cul-de-sac for ostracizing him.

Tagging beside him was his wooden friend, Plank Wood. No one could ever agree on whether or not Plank was a sentient being, seeing as he was a piece of wood with a drawn-on crayon face. But there were mysterious occurrences surrounding the wood that seemed explainable only by Plank being a sentient being.

"It's that time, Timber. We now have our chance to seize revenge upon the entirety of the cul-de-sac. What's that?"

He gave a pause as his friend "spoke" to him.

"Do you think it'll work? … Well, the first challenge will be to avoid falling victim to what they have up their sleeves."

As he spoke, he made a stealthy dash for the lane. "Yes, I remember quite well the day you were taken hostage to them and I had to rescue you." He shimmied along one of the fences. "Yes, I'm sure they won't take kindly to talking to someone like me."

He vaulted over a fence into the woods behind the cul-de-sac and darted through the trees. "Well, as long as we're still en route, we might as well come up with a way to talk to them and see what we can accomplish with them."

He saw his target in a clearing, and made his way towards it, hiding behind doghouses, garbage cans, cars, and firepits to avoid detection from nearby residents.

But as he honed in on his target, he found that the people he was looking for were nowhere to be found.