Title: A Day Is Gonna Come
Rating: pg-13
Warnings: some language
Characters: Demetri, Janis (Demetri/Zoey pairing)
Spoilers: Every episode aired (1x01 - 1x06) nothing beyond.
Summary: Janis helps Demetri gain some perspective when he visits her at the hospital.
Author's Notes: I'm not sure what I ship in this series yet - all I do know is that I love the friendship between Janis and Demetri, (and could definitely see them as something more) this might shine through.
Title is from the Bright Eyes song "Don't Know When But A Day Is Gonna Come"
I don't own anything.
"So, what, you still haven't told Zoey that you didn't see anything?"
Demetri's sitting with his hip gently propped up on the very edge of her hospital bed, as if super extra careful not to disturb any important wires or touch anything that might induce pain. His left hand is messing up the hair he carefully gelled this morning and he looks up at her from under his bangs, "I just don't know how to tell her, where do I start?"
"Ah, there you go again. You always do this; over think the important things. Like, for instance right now, I'm not some fragile flower, it's ok for you to actually sit on the bed. Come on." Janis smiles daringly at him, shuffles a little to her right and pats on the bed, showing exactly how much room there is for him.
He stands with a sigh – there's really no arguing with her when she's like this – and proceeds to take the place next to her on the bed. He toes off the brown leather shoes, puts up his feet and leans back against the mountain of pillows – he can feel Janis' body heat through the fabric of her blanket. "Are you running a fever?"
"I'm fine, and don't think I don't know what you're doing, you're trying to change the subject." He makes a noise as if hurt, what-I-would-never-do-that, but her sharp look tells him there's no way out of this conversation.
"Did I tell you that Zoey said she saw our wedding?" He can hear her sharp intake of breath, but ignores it, "She was standing on a beach somewhere, Hawaii maybe, white dress and everything, waiting for me, waiting for us to read our vows and say 'I do' and be man and wife and all that. She could even see me walking towards her." He can't look at Janis while telling her this, watching his hands instead, the right one pulling at a loose thread on his grey t-shirt.
"She said that, Zoey could see you? Then you shouldn't be moping around, this should be good news, you'll live." Janis' voice is hesitant, but he can definitely hear a trace of hope in it.
"We're grasping at straws here, you do realise that, right? I mean, if I'm alive and walking down some tropical beach, how come I didn't see anything when everybody else did, huh? Did I walk for 2 minutes and 17 seconds with my eyes closed? And if I did, wouldn't I have heard something, felt the sand beneath my feet? It doesn't make any sense…"
"First, will you stop picking at that thread, you're making me nervous." She grabs his hand in her own, "Second, what are you trying to say, that you think Zoey saw someone other than you on that beach, that she's marrying someone else? Because that's just stupid, we're talking one-way ticket to crazyland. Zoey is not the cheating kind."
"I'm not saying she's cheating on me!" He can't help the outburst, he's been high-strung ever since the day of the flashes and he's bound to crack at one point.
Janis grasps his hand tighter, "Then what are you saying?"
"I don't know, all right? All I know is that I'm supposed to die, a women called me and said that I get shot to death and still my fiancée sees me on our wedding day? What other conclusion can I come to than that it's someone else. Don't you see, Zoey might love me now, but in 6 months she's marrying another man. Someone my height and with dark hair, probably." It feels amazingly good to finally hear everything he's been thinking said out loud, sharing his fears and doubts with a person he knows he can trust. Someone who can help him figure things out.
"So, let me get this straight. The reason you haven't told Zoey about your lack of a flash-forward is because you're scared she won't be able to take the pressure, end your engagement, find another guy and marry him instead? Jesus, Dem, how do you come up with all of this?"
"I didn't, you did." She lets out an exasperated sigh and Demetri knows that would he turn his head to look, she'd be rolling her eyes at him. "But yeah, that's the sentiment, I guess. Why waste your time with a guy who doesn't have a future?"
"Don't. Don't say that, that's horrible. That's a horrible thing to say." And when he does turn to look at her, he's surprised to find that her eyes look redder than usual and tears have started to gather around her eyelashes, moments away from falling. And it hits him, for real, that this might just be it for him. The coming months might be his last ever, and it hurts.
"Fuck." His head drops back down onto the pillows, heavy with dark thoughts, eyes not focusing, staring without seeing up at the hospital ceiling.
"Yeah." She lets go of his hand to wrap her arms around herself and suddenly Demetri feels lonelier than ever,
"Do you believe in God? I never did, don't think I'll start just because I'm dying… But, sometimes I think that it would be amazing if you did, believe, to have that reassurance, that there is something waiting for you. That this isn't all there is." He's not sure what he's saying, but the silence is to heavy and he needs to fill it, he needs to stop wasting time.
"Are we really having this conversation? God, this is all so freaking surreal, like something out of a 60's science fiction novel. I saw myself pregnant, now that I've been shot there's only so much chance of that ever happening. Never mind the fact that there actually has to be someone impregnating me. If I actually get pregnant and 'fulfil' my flash that would be nothing short of a miracle, but if that's God or nature – who knows?" She has closed her eyes, and he can't help but hate himself for initiating this stupid conversation that is stealing away her energy, when what she needs is to recover.
"This is so fucked up; we're all fucked up. You should sleep, heal, I won't bother you anymore." He's about to stand again when her hand on his arm stops him,
"Hey, I might have changed my future, maybe you can change yours." She looks him straight in the eye and he sinks back down.
"Maybe."
Janis shuts her eyes again and he thinks she's about to fall asleep when she suddenly mutters, "You should start wearing a bullet-proof vest." And he can't help but laugh, because, hey, maybe it is that simple.