A/N: I am not sure if I should continue this. Please read and review. If you think it should continue, tell me. If not, also tell me. Thank you.
Chapter One
"GODDAMNIT!" Allen shouted, slamming his bare fist into the rough stone walls of HQ, watching helplessly as more and more bodies were discovered, and identified. It was horrible. It made Allen sick to his stomach. He couldn't believe how weak he was. He was strong enough to defeat Tyki hands down, but he wasn't strong enough to protect the people he cared most about. Why was it that when it came to offense, he was at the top, but when it came to defense, he was as pathetic and useless as an infant. He watched as three more scientists' bodies were pulled from the rubble created by the Level 4 Akuma. Then, he did the stupidest thing he could think to do. He punched the wall with his Innocence hand, sending his fist straight through it. He gasped in pain and pulled his hand away, but then realized that it didn't hurt so badly. It was his heart that was killing him.
Silently, behind the wall, Lou Fa was watching Allen grieve over his lost comrades. She felt like she was about to cry as well. She wanted to cry over Allen's pain. She wanted to cry over the people lost. So many good men and women had been lost in the previous week. Exorcists and scientists alike were murdered, and even Lou Fa was feeling slightly depressed… But seeing Allen looking like that was painful. She and her friends, Shifu and Rikei had been called over to Main HQ to pick up the slack that the dead scientists had left… But somehow, she wasn't happy. Seeing Allen every day wasn't the ecstatic experience that she thought it would be. Seeing him beating himself up every minute of every day was more painful than anything she could imagine, and she wanted to be able to help him, but she didn't know what to say. She had never been very good with people. That was why she became a scientist. She wanted to be able to pursue her talents, and escape the need to be around people that she just couldn't relate to.
Suddenly, she felt a pang of jealousy as her greatest rival walked over to Allen and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. Lenalee. She couldn't find it in her to hate Lenalee, but for some reason, that woman made her positively seethe with resentment. Why couldn't she be that beautiful, and strong, and sociable? Why couldn't she get everyone to look up at her just by walking into the room? Lou Fa found her shoulders shaking, not just with jealousy, but with self loathing for the thoughts that were going through her head. It was unfair for her to resent Lenalee like that. The female exorcist had never done anything to her, and yet, she acted like every breath Lenalee took and every step Lenalee walked was a great personal wrong.
All Lou Fa wanted was for Allen to notice her like he noticed Lenalee. Lenalee sure seemed to know what to say to make him feel better… Or did she? As Lou Fa looked at the two, Allen was smiling at her, but it was the sort of smile that one seemed to wear when they really just wanted to be alone… Finally, Lenalee left Allen alone, and he stalked off to his room, walking past Lou Fa, but not even noticing her, standing there in the shadows. He hadn't eaten in over a day, she had noticed. He had either been helping with the cleanup, or sitting by himself doing nothing… Certainly, it wasn't very productive, but at least, she argued, he was never in the way, and certainly, nobody could blame him for being distraught. There was no way, no possible way that any of this was Allen's fault, but it was so like him to blame himself for all of it, to make up farfetched reasons for why he should have been able to stop it from happening, for why he should have been able to save everyone.
After a moment, she was slightly surer of herself. She ran down to the cafeteria, which only had a few people in it, and ran over to Jerry, trying to think of what Allen would want to eat. She only knew that after a day and a half of no food, he would just want a lot of it. So, she ordered three of everything on the menu, much to Jerry's surprise.
"Hey, there, Sis, are you sure you're gonna eat all that! I know you're probably hoping to get a little bit taller…" At this, he paused, secretly wishing her luck with that. She was already fifteen. There wasn't really much hope of her growing any taller. "But I think you'll grow outward faster than you'll grow upward if you eat like that, Sis." That was what Jerry had been calling her. 'Sis'. It wasn't that she really minded. It was more that he was being extremely familiar… And she wasn't Japanese, she was Chinese so calling her 'Nee-chan' didn't make sense. It wasn't her business to correct him, though, nor did she have the inclination at the moment.
"They're not for me, Mr. Jerry… They're for Mr. Walker…" She said, blushing deeply upon admitting this. "H-he hasn't eaten in over a day, and I'm worried about him. I-I don't want his health t-to suffer…"
"Ohhhhhh! I see, now! You're sweet on Little Allen… How cute!" Jerry proclaimed, although, to Lou Fa's relief, he didn't say it too loudly. She sighed having been momentarily nervous that he was going to reveal her secret… Although to most people, it wasn't such a secret… Lou Fa just didn't know that.
"Here you go, Sis. Enjoy your date. I sure hope Little Allen feels better. Give him all my love!" Jerry said cheerfully, turning around and going back to making food for everyone. Lou Fa sighed. She really had her work cut out for her. She didn't think it would be possible to carry 132 plates of food anywhere, much less up three flights of stairs, and down seven hallways. Yes. She had memorized the route to Allen's room. What of it? So what if she had walked there at least once a day, but always chickened out at the last minute, and pretended to herself that it was just coincidence that she was walking by. So it was just her luck, or maybe not so much, that Shifu and Rikei walked behind her as she was about to try to pick up the massive load of food.
"Hey, there, Lou Fa. Are you really planning on eating all that? I know you're trying to make your boobs get bigger, but I think your belly will grow faster than your…" Rikei said bluntly, causing Lou Fa to blush heavily, and smack him with the one free tray she had.
"My boobs are just fine, thank you very much! This isn't for me! It's for Mr. Walker! There's no way I could eat even a tenth of this, much less carry it! I wanted to do something nice for him because he's been depressed, but now he's all the way up three flights of stairs, and I'm all the way down here with over 100 pounds of food!" Lou Fa moaned.
"Did I hear something about the Beansprout?" Came an obnoxious voice from behind the three scientists.
"Hey, you're Lou Fa, right? I'm sure you're just trying to make your boobs grow, but…" As soon as he said that, though, Lavi was hit over the head by Bookman, who looked carefully at Lou Fa and shook his head.
"I apologize for my apprentice's rudeness. Of course we'll help you carry the trays to Allen Walker's room. Young Mr. Kanda, would also be happy to help…" Bookman said, taking a large pile of trays off the counter, and starting toward the door. Having been requisitioned, Shifu, Rikei, Kanda, and Lavi also took some, and Lou Fa took the small pile that was left, whistling cheerfully as she followed the group, all of whom seemed to know where Allen's room was. Such was the nature of being best friends, though, Lou Fa guessed. Even Kanda, who claimed not to like Allen was willing to help him when he was feeling depressed. Of course, Kanda's definition of help most likely involved the sharp edge of Mugen.
"Th-thank you for helping me so much, guys… I would have been completely lost without…"
"Anything to help the Beansprout's woman help him. The Beansprout is our pal. Where would we be without him?" Lavi said cheerfully. Then, "Right, Yu?" He asked, putting a hand on Kanda's shoulder, who drew Mugen, and slashed violently at Lavi, throwing the food in the air, and catching one pile in one hand, then Lavi's pile of trays in the other, who had just landed three feet away, shaking in fear.
"Don't call me Yu! And never touch me again!" Kanda yelled. "Sorry about the food, Scientist." He said, refusing to call Lou Fa by her name. At least he acknowledged that she existed, though, and that it was highly uncalled for to be throwing food.
"I-it's alright, M-M-Mr. K-Kanda…"
"Oh, don't worry about Kanda. He may look scary…" came a kind female voice from behind them, scaring the crap out of Lou Fa. Lenalee sighed and walked around Lou Fa's front and smiled at her. "But he's actually pretty nice once you get to know him. You probably know me already, but I'm…"
"M-Miss Lee… Y-you're th-th-the Chief's daughter… R-right? H-he told us all our first day here that if any of us laid a hand on you, th-that he'd amputate the arm that touched you…" Lou Fa said nervously. She was inclined to believe that he was being serious, judging by what Bak Chan had said about her, and about Komui.
"Ahahaha!" Lenalee laughed nervously, and took a pile of trays from Kanda, and started walking with everyone. "D-did he really say that? My brother is a little bit overprotective, but thus far, he hasn't killed anyone. I think he broke someone's arm, leg, and shoulder once…" Lenalee said as an offhanded comment just as they reached Allen's door.
"Okay, here we are. I hope Allen-kun is happy with this." Lenalee said, switching the burden over to her left hand and knocking with her right. There was no answer.
"Is he just asleep? I don't hear him in there. Allen-kun! Are you alright? Lou Fa wanted to bring you some dinner!" Lenalee said. Lou Fa was getting brighter and brighter red by the moment, and was seriously considering running off… In fact, suddenly, she put the trays down carefully and bolted, but was caught and dragged back by Lavi's scarf, which seemed able to extend into a lasso. Lou Fa pounded the floor once distraughtly, but stood up, and miserably took the trays.
Finally, after what seemed like ages, the door opened, and Allen walked out, looking like a complete wreck. His face was red and streaked, and his eyes were red and bleary from crying, not to mention the fact that he had dark circles under them, and he was holding his head like he had a horrible headache. His hair was disheveled as though he had fallen asleep.
"Oh, Lenalee, Kanda, Lavi, Lou Fa, Bookman, Shifu, Rikei… Um… I uh… Apologize for my appearance… N-now really isn't a good time, though…" Allen said dully, his eyes half lidded as though he were still half asleep.
"Mr. Walker… Y-you haven't eaten anything in the past few days, s-so I thought you might be hungry. I asked Jerry t-to cook some food for you…" Lou Fa said nervously, blushing. Upon hearing this, Allen smiled genuinely.
"Thank you, Lou Fa… Um… My room is a bit of a mess, but you're all welcome to come in…" Allen said politely, looking surprised when they all started making some half assed excuse as to why they couldn't.
Finally, only Allen and Lou Fa were left. She meekly followed him into the room. Allen bent double, holding all of the trays on his own, and set them down on his table, and started eating ravenously. She had been right. He was starving, but he had forgotten to eat in his depression.
"I'm worried about you, Mr. Walker…" Lou Fa said after about ten minutes, finally working up the courage to talk to him. She was going to confess her feelings, whether it was a good time or not. Maybe it would make him feel better, and she could see him smile again, even if only for a moment. Seeing him smile like he meant it lit up her entire life, and made her feel like she was on fire. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. She wanted to see him smile again, direct his smile towards her again, even if it was only once.
"I appreciate your concern, Lou Fa, but I don't deserve it. I couldn't protect the people who mattered to me. So many people died. So many people got hurt, a-and it's all my fault…" Allen said, stuffing food in his mouth like he was going to die within the next three hours, and he was eating his last meal.
"No… That's not true, Mr. Walker. Y-you did the best that you could! I saw the videos of your fight! You were amazing, and th-the truth is, it was even a little bit frightening. Th-the intensity with which you battled that Akuma was breathtaking. I could feel your battle aura even over the video. I know I probably sound silly, but it's incredible how much you've changed since I first met you in Asian HQ. It hasn't even been that long, but you're like a whole different person." Lou Fa said, feeling a little bit sad and a little bit happy at once. Allen tried to smile for Lou Fa, but found it hard. Was he really that frightening when he was fighting? He didn't intend to be.
"I'm sorry, Lou Fa… I just can't afford to slack off even a tiny bit in battle. You saw what that Level 4 was like. Even when I was at full power, I was nothing compared to it."
"No! That's not true, either! You're not 'nothing' Mr. Walker! You've never been 'nothing'! That Level 4 was just so powerful. Even at Main HQ, we're still trying to get a-a reading on some of its stats. We feel like w-we didn't even scratch the surface of what a Level 4 is capable of… I-if anything, it was lucky that Miss Lee regained use of her Innocence. I-if she hadn't, w-we'd all be dead." Lou Fa said intensely, leaning in toward Allen.
"Y-you and Miss Lee, you work well together… I-it's almost like… Like you're lovers o-or something…"
"W-wha! Nononononono! I-it isn't like that!" Allen protested, waving his hands in front of him. He never wanted anyone to get that idea about him and Lenalee. They had never had that kind of relationship, and he was sure that they never would. Lenalee was more important to Allen than his own life, but she was a comrade, a partner, and a friend, but never anything more.
"D-don't worry… I promise I won't say anything t-to Chief Komui. I-I would never want t-to take away your happiness…" Lou Fa said politely, although it was, Allen noticed, with a hint of sadness.
"Lou Fa, listen to me! Lenalee is important to me, but we're not lovers or anything like that. We're… I guess the Japanese would call our relationship 'nakama'. We're like comrades, but we're also close friends… I think…"
Hearing this, Lou Fa sighed in relief. She had been sure that Allen was going to confirm what she had suspected all along. He may have been lying when he denied being romantically involved with Lenalee, but somehow, she didn't think he was. They say it's a bad idea to become romantically involved with comrades, especially when such a relationship could impair one's judgment at a crucial moment. But it happened, all the same. Lou Fa was sure that Allen and Lenalee would make a great couple. Her heart ached, just thinking about this, but she was sure that Lenalee would be a better girlfriend for Allen than she could ever be.
"M-Mr. Walker? A-are you… Y-you know… Attracted to anyone right now?" She asked, inwardly scolding herself at the same time for being so blunt. She was amazed when Allen answered her, and the honesty and humility with which he gave his answer.
"I'm not really sure I would call it 'attraction'. My feelings for this person are a little bit confusing. Sh-she's been extraordinarily kind to me, and hasn't asked anything in return… I never even got to thank her properly for all the help that she gave me. I'm positive that I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for her. It's like she saved my life. But I'm not sure how to talk to her, because there's no way that I could possibly repay such a huge debt… I guess I love her, though…" Allen said sheepishly, laughing in embarrassment, and glancing away from Lou Fa, blushing slightly. He had never told anyone about his feelings for her.
He couldn't remember exactly when his heart started beating faster every time he saw her, every time he heard her voice. Maybe it was when she sat with him that day back at Asian HQ, and told him what her reasons for living were… No… That didn't make sense. That was Fou in disguise… But then, why did his heart seem to leap into his throat whenever he saw Lou Fa. After that, the Akuma invaded, and he thought about what she said. Fighting for the people precious to you. For him, it had always been the Akuma for whom he had lived… For whom he had fought. But then once he started making human friends in Main HQ, his reasons for living and fighting changed. He lived for both humans and Akuma, and his Innocence changed to reflect that. He wouldn't have understood that nearly as quickly without Lou Fa's help…
Agghh! That was Fou, though! I can't tell Lou Fa that I'm in love with her because Fou masqueraded as her!
"You should tell her how you feel, Mr. Walker. Even if you aren't entirely sure of your feelings yourself, I'm sure that she'd be flattered that you think so well of her. I know I would be… Mr. Walker… I-I know that you'll never feel the same way about me, but… I've wanted to tell you for a long time… I-I love you… I know it sounds stupid, b-but… I have to tell you, and you have to answer me! I-I understand that the person you love is probably a million times better th-than I could ever be, but…"
"Don't finish that, Lou Fa." Allen said kindly, putting a hand on Lou Fa's shoulder, and pulling her into an embrace with his other hand. "You're right. I should tell her how I feel… Lou Fa. I love you… But…" Allen blushed and glanced away from Lou Fa, unsure of what to say next.
"But what? What's wrong, Mr. Walker?"
"I still owe you more than I can ever say… You saved me that day at Asian HQ. You told me exactly what I needed to know…" Allen said, glancing around the room nervously, pushing his fingers together.
For a moment, Lou Fa couldn't say anything. She was lost as to what he meant. Then, slowly, the meaning sparked, and she laughed. Her laughter was bright, cheerful, and rang like crystal bells, resounding through his entire being, lifting his spirits, and he found himself laughing as well, although he wasn't sure why, exactly. Finally, he stopped, and spoke.
"Why are you laughing? Did I say something funny?"
"Ah! I-I'm sorry, Mr. Walker! I just… You're confusing me and Miss Fou. Don't you remember? Miss Fou impersonated me, and talked to you…"
"Maybe it was her, but it was exactly the sort of thing you would have said. If it hadn't been, it wouldn't have worked. I wouldn't have believed it was you… See?" Allen asked, as though his argument made perfect sense.
"I… guess… But that still doesn't mean that it was me. Perhaps you should get some rest. Have you been sleeping at all lately?"
"Not really…" Allen confessed nervously. "I keep having nightmares. The face of that Level 4 keeps showing up in my dreams, and everyone I love keeps dying over and over again. I'm forced to watch as Lavi, and Lenalee, and Kanda, and Miranda, Krory, and you… And everyone else for whom I care is brutally slaughtered by that Level 4, and I wake up, and can't get back to sleep…"
"Oh… Well… Um…" Lou Fa stuttered. She had an idea, but it was embarrassing to say it.
"I-I guess I could stay with you until you fell asleep tonight… Mr. Walker…"
"Lou Fa… Could you just call me Allen?" Allen asked, blushing slightly, and smiling… "And one more thing…" Allen said, turning a deeper shade of red, now. Lou Fa also blushed slightly, but looked at Allen curiously, leaning toward him to show that she was listening.
"Yes, Mr… Allen-san? You can ask me anything…"
"Would you be angry if I kissed you?" Allen asked, surprising Lou Fa with his forwardness, but also… She was deeply flattered that he had been serious when he said he loved her… She had never once thought that he would ever return her feelings, so to hear that he felt the same way that she did was not only an extreme surprise, but also mind bogglingly wonderful… She felt like her whole head was on air, floating on a cloud of love… She wasn't sure she was making any sense, even to herself, but it didn't matter. But then, how was she supposed to respond to such an earnest request? The easiest answer would be to say 'yes'. She wanted to kiss Allen very much… Did that make her a naughty girl? Was it bad that she fantasized about holding hands with him and kissing him passionately, even when she was at work? Even now, her head was filling with a warm haze as she thought about kissing him… About her lips touching his… Did he plan to use his tongue, too? Maybe, Lou Fa thought, she was hoping for too much.
"Yes…" Lou Fa barely managed to gasp. Then, she remembered his original question. It wasn't 'may I kiss you'. It was 'would you be angry if I kissed you.' And she realized how her answer must have sounded.
"I-I mean… No! I-I could never be angry at you! I-I'd love to kiss you… I-I mean… I know that must sound so stupid, but I've wanted t-to tell you how I felt for a long time, b-but it never seemed appropriate!" Lou Fa ranted. After a moment, Allen put his hands on her shoulders, stopping her in her tracks.
"Lou Fa… I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you… Just… Close your eyes…" Allen said gently, closing his in expectation that Lou Fa would follow suit. She immediately did so, and they closed the gap between them, and their lips joined together in a sweet, innocent kiss. The both of them blushed as they pulled away from the kiss, and Allen smiled goofily at Lou Fa.
"W-was that… your first kiss?" Allen asked awkwardly. Lou Fa nodded, blushing even more deeply. Maybe Allen had been hoping for someone with a bit more experience?
"I'm honored… It was mine, too…" Allen said, bowing politely to Lou Fa, who was slowly turning a deeper and deeper shade of red.
For Lou Fa, the moment was perfect already. She had confessed to Allen, and he had told her that he felt the same way. They kissed, and although it was hardly a 'seven minutes in heaven' kiss, it was perfect just the same. She could have died then and been happy. But then, Allen did what she was not expecting. He pulled her back toward him and kissed her again, deeper this time. At first she resisted, not because she didn't want to kiss him, but because she was shocked. After a brief moment, though, she relaxed, and kissed him back, allowing his tongue to slide into her mouth, and doing the same, starting a manic dance of tongues, although they were both rather inexperienced.
It was at that moment that she knew where this was going… And although she was a virgin, and they had just confessed to each other, she wasn't scared. She was willing to do almost anything with Allen, and granted, things were moving a little bit quickly, but she didn't mind so much. Slowly, Allen's hands moved to Lou Fa's blouse, and began unbuttoning it. She gasped as the cool air of the room touched her chest, and her blouse fell from her shoulders, landing on the floor. She had never been fond of her figure. That was another reason that she envied Lenalee. Compared to the female exorcist, she was small, and felt underdeveloped… It was like she just couldn't compare to her in attractiveness. She found her arms slowly moving over her breasts, leaving Allen to wonder if he had done something wrong.
"I-I'm sorry, Lou Fa. I shouldn't have done that without asking permission…" Allen said politely, bowing in apology, blushing deeply.
"N-no! It's not that! I-I want to, but… I've always wished that my…"
"Oh…" Allen said, suddenly understanding what Lou Fa was worried about, although he didn't know how it suddenly clicked with him.
"You're beautiful the way you are, Lou Fa." Allen said, looking into Lou Fa's chocolate brown eyes with his gray ones. And she believed him. The way he looked at her, the way he spoke, so honestly and free of any pretense, made her willing to believe anything he said. He could have told her that elephants could fly given the proper forward propulsion and under the right temporal-spatial conditions, and she would have believed him… Alright, maybe that was a bit ridiculous, but she would have believed almost anything from him.
"Thank you, Mr. Walker…" Lou Fa said, her now shaking hands moving toward his vest, and clumsily undoing the buttons of it. Allen smiled lightheartedly as he watched her embarrassed attempts to undress him, and finally, he helped her along, undoing the buttons of his own vest and shirt, and dropping them on the floor.
Lou Fa couldn't believe how thin Allen was. Surely it wasn't healthy for anyone to be so skinny. She remembered back at Asian HQ that he was extraordinarily thin, but it seemed he had lost even more weight since they had last met. It became him, somehow, but it was more than a little bit worrisome.
"Are you alright, Lou Fa? Perhaps we shouldn't do this, now?" Allen asked politely, reaching for both his own shirt and Lou Fa's.
"No! It's not that! It's just… Y-you're so skinny. Are you sure you're healthy?"
"Me? Oh, yes! Ahahaha! I've always been like this… My Innocence arm requires a lot of energy. I eat a lot, but I still don't gain any weight. I couldn't if I wanted to…" Allen said cheerfully.
Lou Fa nodded, blushing, and slowly, shakily moved her hands to Allen's chest, moving her fingers up and down. Allen breathed a sigh of pleasure as she did this, and finally made her way down to his pants, her hands having stopped shaking, and unbuttoned them. Allen blushed, embarrassed at being seen in such a state of undress by anyone, much less a woman. He only once taken his shirt off in front of a girl, and that was at Asian HQ when they needed to run tests on his new Innocence. So this was a little bit new, and more than a little embarrassing… But Lou Fa was also mostly undressed by now, having removed her skirt a few minutes before, so at least he could say he wasn't alone.
Slowly, Allen reached around and unhooked Lou Fa's bra with the skilled dexterity of one who habitually cheated at cards, although it wasn't nearly such a habit anymore, now that he had joined the Order, and he worried that perhaps his skills at doing so would atrophy. Lou Fa instinctively moved her arms, but then stopped herself, allowing Allen to look at her breasts. They were small, but Allen personally thought they were perfect that way. Slowly, and with more than a little hesitation, he moved his hands toward her, and gently pushed her down on the bed, gently touching and feeling her breasts. As he did this, Lou Fa gasped and moaned in pleasure. Although Allen said he had never done this before, he was good, and seemed to know exactly how to touch her to make her feel amazing.
"Ah… Mr. Walker… Agh…" Lou Fa moaned as he continued to knead one breast with his hand, and run his tongue over the other one. He knew that it was probably in poor taste to do so, but it seemed to be making Lou Fa happy, so who was complaining. Finally, Allen began to move his hand down to her panties, but Lou Fa stopped him.
"O-only… if you take yours off, t-too…" She said, all nerves, now. Nobody in her memory had ever seen her naked. She didn't remember her parents, and she barely remembered anything before the time she was thirteen, so the Order was literally her entire life… And it seemed like it would continue to be her entire life, especially if she remained there with Allen.
Allen nodded in assent, and removed his boxers as well, revealing his hardened cock. For a moment, Lou Fa had to shut her eyes and make sure she wasn't seeing things. He was big, at least ten inches. Unlike her, he seemed to very well off physically…
No, Mr. Walker said it didn't matter. He said I looked fine…
But didn't you get the feeling he was just trying to make you feel better?Came a voice from deeper inside, one that seemed to echo all her doubts about herself.
He probably wishes you did look more like that Lenalee… You're small, and people have mistaken you for a child for years. You say it doesn't bother you anymore, but it does, and you know as well as anyone that it bothers Mr. Walker, too… Who wouldn't want someone like Lenalee? Tall… Long legs, full breasts… Half the Order wants her, but Mr. Walker could get her in an instant if he wanted to.
No! Mr. Walker isn't like that! That's why I love him so much! Because he's good, and kind, and selfless, and accepting!
You're right. You're probably just over thinking things… Go on, and have your special night with Mr. Walker… Think nothing of it.The voice said facetiously, cutting off, leaving Lou Fa feeling more self-conscious than ever.
"Are you alright, Lou Fa? What's wrong? You look upset…" Allen said gently, pulling his boxers back up and sitting up on the bed. He wouldn't go ahead with this if it was going to upset Lou Fa so much. Lou Fa sighed miserably. She knew that the moment had passed, so she gathered her clothes and started getting dressed. That wasn't going to be the night… In fact, after the way she had led Allen on like that, she was sure he would never want to go out with her, now. Ever the perfect gentleman, Allen didn't say anything, but she was sure he was disappointed.
"N-no… N-nothing's wrong, Mr. Walker… I-I just… Don't understand how you could possibly have feelings for someone as plain and boring as I. You're so amazing, and handsome, and strong… And I'm just… Average at best…" Lou Fa mumbled quietly, voicing the insecurity she had been feeling about herself for so many years. Ever since she was taken to the Order, first as a junior finder, then, after they discovered her skill at science, in the R&D Department, she was overly critical of herself, although she learned to hide it well behind a cheerful façade. When she met Allen, she knew she had fallen head over heels for him… But then that voice of doubt rang through her head, telling her that he would never love someone as plain and uninteresting, and boring, and unattractive as she… And, already believing that she was kind of simple to begin with, she had no trouble believing that.
"Is that what you're so worried about? Lou Fa, first of all, I've never once thought that you were plain or boring, but beyond that, appearance aside, I love you because you're a wonderful person who never seems to mind going out of her way to help other people. You shouldn't worry about your appearance, anyhow. You're very cute, and you shouldn't ever try to convince yourself otherwise …" Allen said, rubbing the back of his head guiltily, wondering if he had said something along the lines to make her feel like that about herself.
"Come here for a moment…" Allen said gently, motioning for her to join him. Lou Fa slowly finished buttoning her blouse, and putting on her jacket, and sat down next to Allen on the bed.
Allen smiled at Lou Fa and embraced her, not feeling embarrassed anymore about expressing his feelings for her. He had been worried at first that she wouldn't return his feelings, and that he would end up looking like an idiot in front of the one person before whom he felt he couldn't afford to look bad. Now, he knew though that Lou Fa felt the same way… And that was comforting.
"Thank you for bringing me dinner, Lou Fa." Allen said, kissing her innocently this time, not wanting to provoke a bad reaction. "Even if I didn't know it, I was terribly hungry, and besides, that, I'm glad I was able to talk to someone. I feel better, now. And you… You have nothing to worry about. I'm not sure how you got the idea that you were plain or boring… But it isn't true…"
"Y-you don't really believe that… D-do you, Mr. Walker?"
"I do so… And I also believe that I'm going to have to give serious thought to being insulted if you don't start calling me Allen like all the rest of my friends…" Allen said, giving her a good natured smile to show that he was definitely joking. It was just a little bit embarrassing to be called 'Mr. Walker' by anyone, much less someone to whom he felt a romantic attachment.
"Okay, Allen…" Lou Fa said, kissing Allen on the lips with more confidence, now. He had truly made her feel better. He seemed to have that ability, to always say what someone needed to hear at just the right time. Whether it was comforting or confronting depended on the situation, but Allen was remarkably good with people, and she felt a whole lot better, now that she had come to talk with him. Her original intention had been to comfort him and make him feel better, but the process seemed to have been reversed rather quickly. For a while, she just sat there in Allen's warm, gentle embrace, and, after an hour or so passed, and she realized what time it was, she jumped up, and ran off to go to bed, wishing Allen pleasant dreams, and begging him one last time to try to get some rest, and to be at breakfast in the morning, where she promised she would meet him, regardless of the circumstances.