A fellowship of nine sets out from Rivendell. But who are they, and what are they like?

There is Gandalf, the wizard who has problems with his short-term memory, and is often quoting Albus Dumbledore.

Then there is Frodo, a midget who obsessively collects antique rings and bracelets.

There is Aragorn, who likes to poke people and say "poke" while doing it.

There's Legolas, who often takes out his make-up box and strikes revenge on Aragorn for constantly poking everyone. Also spends a lot of time counting how much strips of hair he has.

There is Gimli, who, for some unknown reasons, seemed to gather inspiration from Gandalf and likes to quote Bella Swan.

There is Pippin, another midget who drinks and smokes a lot, yet is never drunk or even tipsy. WHAT IS HIS SECRET?

There is Merry, (yet another midget) who discovered a way of avoiding Aragorn's pokes – poke him back.

There is Sam, the fat midget, who likes PO-TA-TOES.

And finally there is Boromir, that weird guy who listens to Metallica and Slipknot music on his MP3 Player all the time.

And thus, their journey began.

"Gandalf," whined Legolas, "Aragorn stole my make-up box!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Shut up, Harry!" shouted Gandalf.

"Who's Harry?" questioned Merry.

"Gandalf, go to Tesco and buy me a new make-up box!" demanded Legolas.

"I am afraid I will not, ah, go quietly," said Gandalf in a very thoughtful voice. "No, I will not go quietly at all, Cornelius."

"Who in Middle-Earth is Cornelius?" asked Merry, getting a little annoyed. "And Harry?"

"HELLO THERE!" cried Pippin brightly.

"Oh, Jake," said Gimli, "you sound horrible."

Pippin blinked. "I'm not Jake..."

Boromir missed the conversation. He was listening to his MP3 Player. "Bow to your MASTER! MASTER!" he sang along to the song.

Aragorn poked him. "Poke," he said plainly.

Frodo crept up behind Legolas. Frodo had a great talent – pick-pocketing. He slid his hand into Legolas's pocket and took out a bracelet with a picture of Tinkerbell on it. He crept away and slid it into his own. He squealed in delight.

Aragorn poked him. "Poke."

"Where is Sam?" wondered Legolas aloud.

"Oh," said Pippin. "He got mad at me because I poured some ale in his legendary PO-TA-TOES meal, so he started it again. He keeps mentioning that Gandalf should go to Tesco and buy some vanilla essence." Pippin blinked. "I think that's what he said anyways," he added notably.

Boromir was singing yet again. "It's the only thing, that stops -!"

"SHUT UP, HARRY!" Gandalf roared into his face.

"Who is Harry?!" asked Merry annoyed.

"Jacob, what do you know about motorcycles?" Gimli asked Pippin.

"Who is JACOB?!" Pippin cried out.

- - - - - - - - - - -

What will happen next? Will Gandalf go to Tesco? Will the rest of the group figure out who is Cornelius, Harry, and Jacob? Will Sam make a good dinner? Will Boromir shut up?

You can find out soon! TBC