DISCLAIMER: I don't own Maid-sama.

I've had this plot bunny in my head for a while. But just to warn ya, it's edging on a crackfic. So yeah. Beware of weird, dumb, humour.

The day Misaki's life was ruined was a Monday. The café had been completely full that day, because it was the summer holidays. That meant non-stop work, no breaks in the back room and being forced to look at endless amounts of freezing cold smoothies and not being able to drink a single one. Which, of course, was more torture than the heat itself. So therefore, she just wanted to get home, have a quick shower, and go straight to sleep. Unfortunately for her, that wasn't possible.

"Misaki!" her mother called from the kitchen as Misaki closed the front door. "Come here, dear!"

'Dear'? Where was that coming from? As far as Misaki knew, her mother had never, ever called her something sickeningly sweet as that.

"Okay, wait a second!" Misaki replied, slipping her shoes off and plunking her bag onto the stairs untidily. She entered the kitchen, feeling a sense of foreboding doom.

Surprisingly enough, both her mother and father were there, sitting silently next to each other at the table. And neither was arguing about money, or how idiotic the other was, or how idiotic the invention of debt was, which Misaki found even more astonishing.

But the most astounding thing of all was the fact that her parents were both smiling.

Something was wrong. They were smiling, so the Sun was probably going to crash down on Earth any minute now. Smiling just wasn't something Mr and Mrs Ayuzawa did very often.

Don't get me wrong or anything – they weren't bad parents or anything. Actually, they were very loving parents. Just loving parents who, for the last few years, had been blinded by their desperate need for money. The Ayuzawa's company was neck-deep in dept.

Minako smiled. "Misaki, we've found a way out of the debt."

Misaki grinned. "That's great! So maybe we can move out of this ramshackle house?" She gestured around her at the broken flooring and patched ceiling.

"That's right, Misaki," Sakuya said nodding. "But we just need a little bit of help from you…"

"You'll help your parents, won't you?" Minako added on quickly.

Misaki looked back and forth between them in bewilderment. Something felt wrong."What are you guys talking about?" she demanded.

Minako sighed. "You might want to sit down, sweetie."

"What? Why?" Misaki asked, confused.

"You see, Misaki," Sakuya began to explain. "The Walker family are also having problems. Not with their company, it's one of their sons. He's obviously shining in his work and is, no doubt, going to make his company thrive when he's older, but he has really terrible behaviour. He's been caught breaking into shops several times, and even got into some street fights and he's doing drugs. So his family sent him to a disciplinary academy a few times, but every time he comes back, nothing really changes. So the Walker family has decided that having a wife might make him want to be a better person.

"And here," Sakuya continued on, "is where you come in."

Misaki's mouth dropped open. She knew what was coming, and she didn't like it. Not one bit. "No. You can't be serious, Dad. I'm sixteen! I'm not getting married now! And especially not to a skank like that."

"Misaki! I don't want you to get married so early either, but don't call your future husband a skank!"

"He's not my future husband! Just ship him back to disciplinary school; they don't need to ruin my life too!"

"We've already talked it through with the Walkers! We're one of their clients and we have a beautiful daughter the same age as theirs! It's a match made in heaven! In fact, you're already engaged to him! You can't say no!"

"I just said it! I'm not getting married to him, and you're lunatics if you think I will!"

"Misaki!" her father barked. "Don't speak to your mother like that! Go to your room!"

Misaki almost laughed. "In my bedroom, I've got my bed, and my books, and almost everything I need. Actually, I've been waiting all day to go to my room. You're a complete idiot if you think that's a punishment, Dad."

"You little…" he growled. "You ungrateful little girl. Your mother and I have worked day and night to keep you alive, and this is how you repay us? Your attitude needs changing. I'll tell you what. If you don't get married to the Walker kid, you have to go to the same disciplinary school as him. It'll show you that he isn't a 'skank' as you say, and it'll teach you the manners you need too. How about it, Minako?"

Misaki gaped in disbelief at what was happening to her. Minako nodded. "That's a great idea, honey, but you do realise that the school their son is going to is Seika Academy for Wayward Boys?"

Oh no. Not Seika.

Please, please, please not Seika.

Everyone in the country knew about Seika. It was no doubt the toughest military school in Japan, and perhaps one of the contenders for the whole of Asia. All the worst delinquents went there – or were forced to go there – by the police. Misbehaving kids were sent there by their parents. Although this technically wasn't allowed, some parents dropped their kids there, if they thought that they were too scrawny or wimpy, to toughen them up. And, boy did it work. There were myths of nerdy little kids going there and coming back as huge, muscled men. The fees for the school were high, but some would argue that it was worth it. Misaki, however, was perfectly content with her completely normal and ordinary high school where she reigned as student council president.

"Dad," Misaki argued back. "It's for 'Wayward Boys'. I'm not wayward and I'm certainly not a boy, last time I checked. I'm not going."

"Okay, then get married," he replied. Misaki struggled between the two choices for a few seconds but quickly came to a conclusion. She would only have to last two years in Seika before she was eighteen and in charge of herself, but marriage was for life. And besides, if she refused both, she would probably be disowned, and no matter how annoyed she was at them, they were still family.

Misaki shook her head violently so Sakuya handed her a slightly crumpled brochure.

On the cover were two boys in green blazers covered with badges and brown trousers, the fakest of smiles plastered on their faces. She cringed and turned the page to find a bunch of text.

Are YOU looking for a boarding school for your child?

Is YOUR family life on the edge of despair because of your child's behaviour?

Does YOUR child display any of these behaviours?

Disregard of Rules, Lying, Stealing, Sudden Change in Personality, Uncontrollable Anger, Hateful attitude, Withdrawal from Family, Manipulative behaviour, Lack of Motivation, "You can't make me," attitude, Skipping School, School Suspensions, Falling Grades, Violence, Sexually Active, Gang Involvement, Bullying, Runs Away from Home, Drug Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Smoking

Well, look no further. With facilities to therapeutically aid your child, as well as restore order to your child by military exercises and chores, Seika Academy for Wayward Boys is the perfect school for your child.

She looked up from the thin piece of paper. There was more to read, but that was quite enough for her. "I'm not 'wayward'! I got about one of these behaviours out of twenty something, and that's 'You can't make me' attitude, which I only started about a minute ago!"

"That's not the point, young lady!" Minako snapped. "It's to get to know your husband! But of course, in the disguise of a boy."

"He's not my husband! And I'm not dressing as a boy!"

"You are, until you fix that attitude of yours!"

"I don't have an attitude! It's just because of this idiotic idea of marriage of yours!"

"That's it, young lady. Go to your room."

"Yay, thank you!" Misaki said smiling as she bounced up the stairs oh-so cheerfully.

What an absolutely wonderful development this all was.

Eventually, summer became autumn and it was the first day of school. Looking all smart in her brushed boy wig and perfectly ironed new school uniform (which, of course, was worn over her tightly bandaged chest) she hugged her younger sister goodbye and bounded down the stairs, dragging her huge black trunk with her.

Today, she was determined to not look disheartened in front of her parents as she entered this new school. No matter how she really felt inside, she wasn't going to let her parents win this one.

"If it gets too hard for you out there, you can always come on back," her father told her with a slick smile, at the train station. "There's always the choice of marriage."

It seemed that he was still annoyed at her. Misaki returned his fake smile with one of her own. "Oh, don't worry about that. I won't be coming back home until I graduate."

"Is that so?"

Misaki nodded and, after saying her quick goodbyes to her parents, she pulled herself onto the bus going up north to the school.

She had arrived at the bus stop a bit early, so this particular bus wasn't going to get going for another half an hour. So she picked a seat near the back of the bus and sat down. And then she fell asleep.

An hour later, she woke up, surrounded by endless noise. Someone had elbowed her head, hopefully accidentally, and she wasn't happy.

Boys. The word made her want to throw up. Boys were smelly, disrespectful and above all, noisy. That's why she became school council president in the first place: to restore order in the school. So she had no clue what on earth she, of all people, was doing on a smelly, noisy bus like this, going to a school that was probably going to drive her nuts.

Ugh.

When they arrived, after hours of agonizing boredom, they were herded off the bus and put into long lines in an empty field. Buses from all over the country had arrived too, so the amount of lines in the field was a lot. One person of staff dressed in a military style outfit walked down the lines with a clipboard, ticking off each name.

After several minutes, the person reached me. "Name," the fierce looking woman asked me.

"Misa – I mean, Mitsuaki Ayuzawa," she mumbled, correcting herself.

She didn't look too suspicious of her. "Mmhm…ah, yes. I see you. You're a second year high schooler yet this is your first year at Seika. That's normal. Don't be late for orientation tomorrow morning, or you will regret it. Here's your timetable and other information you need. Oh, and your keys are in there, so don't lose it." She passed her a big folder from her bag, and went onto the next person.

When everyone was done, all the members of staff walked back to the front and led them to the dormitory blocks, still in the lines. Misaki got taken off to Building Two, for the second year students, and according to her key number, she was in Room 291. She swung the cold metal door open, hoping for her own room for privacy, but with her rotten luck, there were two beds.

Or, perhaps this rotten luck of hers wasn't all that bad. On one sat a guy with golden hair that shone even in the dim lighting. He looked up from the book he was reading to glance at her, and she saw the most gorgeous jewel-like emerald eyes she had ever seen. Just looking at them, Misaki wanted to melt into a pile of Misaki-goo on the floor, right then and there. Or maybe, the way that she was blushing, she could burn into a pile of ashes. That would probably be better than staying in this school. And then she groaned and wanted to bang her head on the wall in embarrassment, but due to the current situation, she decided not to.

"Uh, hi," Misaki mumbled, stretching out her hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm Ayuzawa. What's your name?"

"Usui," he replied, glancing at her outstretched arm. Then he nonchalantly shook her hand, not looking like he cared much. "You can call me Takumi, if you like."

The brunette blinked several times. "I only just met you, so I'll stick with Usui-san if that's okay with you. Do you usually offer up your first name like that to random strangers?"

His facial expression remained the same. "No, it's just that you smell like coconut shampoo. It's a girl scent. It reminds me of my old roommate."

Misaki raised an eyebrow. "You're old roommate was a girl?"

"No, he just smelt like one."

"Oh. Okay then…" The brunette had now run out of things to say. Wasn't that a great conversation? Barely more than half a minute.

She sat down on the bed that Takumi wasn't on, and groaned. There was no mattress, just a board of wood. Misaki's eyes bulged out her skull. How on earth was she meant to sleep on that? She quickly looked around the room for some kind of cushion, but there was nothing in the small, barren room.

Ah, right. How could she forget? She had packed a bunch of luxuries before she left home, to take in case things lot really, really bad. She undid the zip to her suitcase in a hurry and threw it open, only to see the one thing that she didn't want to see.

Everything.

Was.

Gone.

GONE!

When I say everything, I mean everything. Well, everything that mattered for her wellbeing. She scrambled through every little pocket in her suitcase, and everything was gone, except a single towel. That was all that was left.

She flashed back to earlier in the day. They had just got off the bus, and the school got people to take their luggage to check for weapons, explosives, or anything else that might kill someone. And they also wanted to take all the luxuries away because they wanted them to live simply or something along the lines of that rubbish.

"My phone is not a luxury!" Misaki screamed at the suitcase, growing red with anger. "And it was a fucking iPhone 6, goddammit! Well, maybe that's a luxury. But a mechanical toothbrush is not a luxury, it's a way to keep hygienic, those idiots! And where's all those outfits? And my pajamas, they were so cute!"

Takumi raised his eyebrows.

"Uadfjlkjg they took my moisturising cream too! And they took my blanket too! I have had that blanket since I was six! And, ohmygosh, they took all my photos! What is this, prison? But they don't even do that in prison!" the brunette yelled, so angry that she didn't ever care about the very much weirded out Takumi on the other side of the room.

"And – oh no, they didn't."

Takumi didn't expect what was coming next, and Misaki definitely hadn't planned it either.

"The school stole my pads!" she blurted out.

How she got out of this one, she would never know.

Just to say, Mitsuaki means "the sparkle of success" in Japanese, and Tsuray gave it to me! So thanks :)

Please review to tell me what you thought!