In All His Scottish Glory

As she clambered through the Portrait Hole, covered from head to toe in mud and sweat, Katie groaned in pain and annoyance, pulling a strand of filthy mahogany hair from her deep blue eyes. Trudging over to the fireplace where her fellow team mates (minus Oliver and Harry) were having a whispered conversation, she collapsed into one of the scarlet armchairs; startling them into abruptly stopping their frantic hissing. Sighing, she closed her eyes tiredly.

'I take it your "private training" went well then?' Angelina commented with a smirk, vanishing the piece of parchment she, Alicia and the twins had been poring over, with a graceful flick of her wand.

'Eurgh.' Katie replied, wiping her tangled hair off her forehead with a grimy hand, 'It's like, no matter what I do, I can't get his attention – unless it's to do with bad passing or technique, then he's all over me like icing on a cake.'

There was a companionable silence, before George spoke.

'I could swear that Oliver was gay, you know.' He said, laughing as four pairs snapped over to look at him in shock.

'He does have a point,' Fred remarked thoughtfully, 'No guy in their right mind would spend four hours with our darling Katie-pie and not snog her senseless – especially when it was incredibly obvious that she's been flying like Flint on crack, just so she could spend the extra time with him.'

'He's not gay, Fred.' Katie said exasperatedly, 'He just doesn't like me like that, and is one hundred and fifty percent obsessed with the noble sport of Quidditch.'

'I agree with Katie – he's not gay,' Alicia spoke up, 'But I do think he likes her – he's not as clueless as you all think.'

'Really now?' Angelina asked with an unbelieving snort.

'Yeah,' Alicia replied, 'I mean, what kind of seventeen year old wouldn't want to spend four hours with a very attractive sixteen year old girl, covered in sweat and mud, and flirting outrageously with him?'

'By George, I think she has it!' Fred exclaimed with a smirk.

'I know, I'm a superb teacher.' George said with a laugh as Fred looked at him oddly. 'Well, you said "by George"…'

Rolling his eyes, Fred clipped his twin up the back of the head with his hand.
'Idiot.'

Snorting, Katie raised an eyebrow.
'But what makes you think he likes me though?'

'Ah, that my dearest Katie-pie, is where our genius plan comes in – the plan we need your help with.' Fred replied, exchanging a knowing smirk with the other three.

'Oh?' she said, 'What does it involve?'

'You, Oliver, a distraction and precise timing.' George answered with a laugh at the look on her face.

'Exactly what kind of distraction?' she asked hesitantly as they all donned evil smiles.

'Angelina, Alicia – this where you come in, my dears!' Fred sang with a little wave of his hand.

'Ok, here's the deal Katie – when Oliver comes into the Common Room, you have to distract him enough so that he doesn't notice us four are gone, and when we come back, you have to persuade him to follow us ok?' Angelina rattled off, stopping at the look on Katie's face, 'What?'

'You still haven't told me how to distract him!' she whined, as Angelina rolled her eyes.

'Use some imagination girl!' Alicia berated her, grabbing her by the shoulders and giving her a shake, 'Sheesh, anyone would think that you hadn't spent the last six years in the company of Fred and George!'

Opening her mouth the respond, she shut it quickly again as the Portrait Hole opened and in strutted their topic of conversation, in all his Bambi-eyed Scottish-ness. Glaring at Angelina and Alicia who had started giggling, Katie forced what she thought was a pleasant smile onto her face.

'Good Lord Bell, who shoved a stick up your arse!' Oliver exclaimed with a smirk as he sat down on the lounge chair beside her.

Bursting into cackles of laughter, Angelina and Alicia stood up and made to go upstairs, but Oliver stopped them.

'Oi, come back down here – I wanna have a brief team meeting!'

'Oh, I'm sorry Oliver, but we really have to go – we have to do our homework.' Alicia said airily as George smacked his forehead – Alicia was a terrible liar.

'Mmm… Sure.' Oliver replied with an even wider smirk.

'We have to go upstairs, as it is Alicia's "time of the month".' Angelina lied through her teeth, grabbing Alicia by the wrist and dragging her up the stairs, amidst sniggers from Fred and George and a surprised 'Oh' by Katie.

'Is it really?' Oliver asked, turning to look at her with expectation.

'Oh, erm, I suppose so: why would I know?' Katie stammered as Fred made wild slashing movements behind Oliver's head frantically.

'Because girls just know these things!' Oliver said impatiently, whipping around as he felt the air move from Fred's frantic movements, only to see him standing there smiling angelically.

Gesturing to Katie that they were going to go upstairs, the twins began to creep away.

'Oi! Where are you two going?' he demanded, as Katie groaned inwardly.

'George has to go upstairs – it's his "time of the month".' Fred said meekly as Katie snorted accidentally.

Rolling his eyes, Oliver raised an eyebrow.
'Weasley, I am not that stupid.'

'Could have fooled us.' George replied with a laugh as he and his twin whisked away upstairs, narrowly missing Oliver's fist that came sailing through the air towards them.

Wheeling around, Oliver hissed through his teeth as he saw Katie rolling around on the ground in hysterical laughter, muttering "time of the month? Haha!" as she giggled.

'Get up Bell, you're making a fool of yourself!' he snapped nastily, his accent growing thicker.

'You just made a complete fool of yourself, Wood!' Katie retorted, her laughter dying away at his rudeness.

'Oh? And tell me how exactly?' he asked icily.

'BY BEING SUCH A MANICALLY SCARY AND OBSESSED KNOW-IT-ALL, "SOMEBODY SHOVED MY BROOM UP MY ARSE" IDIOT WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING BUT WINNING A BLOODY QUIDDITCH GAME!' she roared in return, startling even herself at her volume.

'I do care about things other than Quidditch!' he said indignantly, his face glowing a queer shade of scarlet.

'Oh really?' she hissed, 'I find that hard to believe, Oliver: very hard indeed!'
Turning around, she made to go upstairs before she remembered Fred and George's plan.

I don't want to get him to like me now – he's such a jerk!
Yes you do, you love him like nothing else.
Yeah, but not when he's being such an idiot!
But he's cute when he's angry – admit it.
Duh, anyone could see that, but he's insulting me!
And that's different from usual how?
I can't -
You can -
Argh!
Argh!

'ARGH!' plopping herself down on the couch in a huff, Katie had to bite her tongue to keep from screaming.

'Wow, did I just win an argument against Bell?' Oliver taunted with a grin, seating himself beside her, 'Face it Bell – I won that!'

Looking at him sadly, Katie shook her head exasperatedly.
'Oliver, you don't and never will, care about anything other than Quidditch.' She said quietly, the tone of her voice hauntingly truthful.

Sighing, the look on her face scaring him, Oliver was upset now.
'You don't understand Katie – it's the only thing I'm good at!'

'No, its not! What happened to the Oliver I grew up with – the one who used to make me pancakes on a Sunday morning after my mum died? Or the Oliver that used to read me stories even though he hated reading? Or the boy that once promised me that he'd never leave me for anyone or anything?' she asked, her eyes shining with tears.

'I CARE ABOUT THINGS OTHER THAN QUIDDITCH!' he exclaimed – his voice a strangled yell, 'I DO CARE!'

'Prove it.' She said.

Before she knew what was happening, he swooped down on her and enveloped her into his arms, pulling her face towards him and kissing her softly and sweetly upon her chapped lips. Kissing back, she pulled him closer, making it more passionate and deep. Moaning slightly as he increased his pressure on her mouth, Katie was thrown into a hallucinative reverie of disbelief, before a loud wolf whistle echoed through the room and they were startled apart.

Standing on the bottom step of the staircase, Fred, George, Angelina and Alicia were all wearing matching grins of amusement and evil-scheming.

'Wow that happened fast!' Angelina commented with a snort, as she and Alicia fell about in giggles.

'Haha, very funny.' Katie said sarcastically, folding her arms across her chest confrontationally.

'Hey Oliver – does that mean you can stop moaning about her in your sleep now? Percy says you've not stopped dreaming "naughty things" about dearest Katie-kins all year!' George yelled with a laugh as the entire Common Room whipped around to stare at the group of them in amused silence.

His face bypassing red and heading straight to imperial purple, Oliver leapt to his feet. Not needing a warning, to two red-heads took off, as the older and taller Quidditch Captain chased them around the Common Room, up the Gryffindor tower and back.

It was about the third time on Katie's count, that Fred tripped on the scarlet mat and fell flat on his face, his wand jerking upwards and hitting Oliver with a spell that encased him in a cloud of lilac smoke. There was a strangled yelp, before the smog cleared, leaving Oliver standing in the middle of the room – a sight that wouldn't have stunned Katie in the least, except for one tiny detail: he was stark naked.

Laughing hysterically, George whipped a camera from his pocket and took a photograph, at which Katie winced, trying against all odds not to join in with everyone else's laughter.

Holding up the photo for everyone to see, Fred smirked.
'Come on ladies – a galleon a photo: so you too, can look at Ollie-kins in all his Scottish glory!'


hey!
well, i hope you enjoyed this - i wasn't sure if it was that good or anything, but y'know, if you review, i'll know won't i?
(hint, hint.. kidding haha)

Anyway, just a little note to all those who read my only un-oneshot fic "In Love And War"... Its on hold for a bit, as i have a seemingly incurable case of writer's block for that particular work. sigh...

Much love,
Ash xx