Consciousness was not something I understood by definition but I understood by concept. Reality was nonexistent seeing as I had no reality. My reality was lived elsewhere. That I know by what I understand now. At the time I didn't know what I was nor the term. My first sight was not bright and painful like that of a newborn. In the gentle darkness I saw a creature on a platform. It was incased in a soft caccon. As the creature stirred silently the caccoon moved with its hidden limbs. I saw only its head and face. The creature had a pale glowing face and I fancied I had the same. I couldn't see my own face but looking down at my limbs I could sense that we were the same in design.
I stood looking down at this creature for an extended period I didn't understand nor noticed. As a light came from somewhere, from nowhere, pitch blackness came. Then nothing. But again I would open my eyes to see the same scene. Same pale face same gentle darkness but sometimes different. Sometimes the creature didn't stir, sometimes it cooed softly, and sometimes if wasn't there. I didn't know what I was, who I was, or what my purpose was. I figured, with an unusual amount of acceptance, that I didn't have one. But that was until odder things began to happen.
It started after I opened my eyes another countless time. The creature slept with ease and innocence. But this time I "felt" something within my being. It was down below and it came as a sharp pain. This sharp pain was not so intense and it faded into a dull flutter. Like butterflies within me.
The next time the flutter came it brought a tighting throughout my build with it. I felt my own self stiffen and sound came from me. I heard the creature stir and I looked up with my instinctual obsession. The creature was looking up at me. I was so close to it. It breathing had become intensified and it let out a loud sound. I felt my body shiver in delight that I to have made such a noise. And that we were the same. The creature pushed back from me. And the blackness came again.
The next time I opened my eyes I felt the flutter, the stiffness, and my blood boiling. I felt an inching all over and a heat at the top of my skull. A cold slicked over me like slim and I twitched. I looked at the creature and felt a yearning come over me. A wanting. At that time I learned the word desire better than any dictionary had preached. My limbs lifted up and towards the creature. This had been the first time I had ever seen them move. It was a alien act to me and the sensations that came filled me with mixed emotions. The texture of the caccoon was soft and it tickled my finger tips. I felt the firm yet yielding being underneath. I felt warmth travel up to my finger tips.
Another wave of yearning came and I let out a higher sound them before. I let my body and limbs encase the creature. I had felt my own warmth but not the warmth of another and the heat was intense. I clung to it like a moth to flame, willing the heat to warm my cold body. I felt my face burn and wondered if the rest of me was doing the same.
The being kicked and squirmed as I struggled to hold on. I didn't want it to go. I didn't want the blackness to come back. It became frightened and violent as it released a series of harsh sounds. Shining droplets came from its eyes. Happiness came over me and my heart raced. I liked the sounds it made. I wanted it to make more. But a pain came to my head. And there was blackness.
The next time I awoke it was all the same as before. The creature slept silently but it was not alone. Standing next to the platform was a larger creature. Could it see me? I felt its eyes. It's threatening aura. It leaned forward then jolted back. Looking at the sleeping creature then back at me it made a sound.
"Is this some kind of trick fairy? How did you get in? You cant be here without permission."
I understood its sounds yet I made none of my own. Blackness came.
Then next time I awoke the creature was looking at me. But it did not see me. It was running an object through its hair. The creature did not make a sound nor run. It merely played with this object. I wanted to touch the creature again and feel its warmth. I lifted a hand and I was met by solid cold. It was smooth and shined like the droplets from eyes. The creature stopped and looked at my hand. Its face became the same as when it first looked at me. I felt happiness, my face contorted and I bared my teeth. I made sounds and the creature, I know, I understood.
"Good Morning Artemis Fowl."
The creature screamed and threw the object at me. The solid shine shattered into jagged tears and blackness came.