Father Oh Father REEDITED
Pairings: Nathan/Haley, Lucas/Brooke, Jake/Peyton
Disclaimer: One Tree Hill does NOT belong to me.
Chapter 1
Taking a deep breath Nathan took slow, deliberate steps toward the house that held everything he'd ever loved. Walking slowly dreading the fact that after six years he'd finally gained enough courage to do what he knew in his heart was the right thing.
He was older now. His face had matured. The light in his eyes had dimmed and there was an un-healable hole in his heart. The hole in his heart was of his own making, which was true. But the worst thing about regret is that comes after the action is taken, after the decision has been made. His life had always been filled with constant challenges. Challenges that never seem to let go of the tight hold they had on his life. In all his life he always found himself blaming the world for everything that had ever gone wrong in his life. The world was responsible for his abusive father, his absentee mother, his early marriage and his child, the one he had abandoned. He would've been happy going through life and believing that it was not his fault, that it was the cruel world they lived in; a world where wars were fought and children were killed. His world wasn't a world that was filled with sunshine and rainbows, and he had always resented that. But in the past couple of years a realisation reached him. It was the realization that the world wasn't to blame, but he was, for he was a man responsible for his own actions, whatever those actions may be.
It takes most people a couple of minutes to recognize when they have made a mistake, for Nathan it took longer than that. Much longer.
Six years to be exact. It was six years ago that Haley had told him that she was pregnant and he found out that he had gotten into Duke with a full basketball scholarship. Back then Nathan had found himself stuck between a rock and a hard place. He never considered the consequences; he just wanted to do what his father couldn't, to prove himself worthy once and for all. So he chose to walk out, to ignore Haley's pleas. And after three years of fame in the NBA and unbearable misery in everything he did including basketball, he finally did the inevitable he decided that it was time, time to go back home, to beg for forgiveness and understanding. Though he knew Haley had a kind and forgiving heart, he knew that the chances of her forgiving him for choosing basketball over her and their son were slim to none.
But today on this day he was finally man enough to come back, with his tail tucked between legs, to apologize, to beg for the forgiveness he knew he didn't deserve. He was finally man enough to face her wrath, to face all the blame and the judgmental glares that he knew he'd face.
Taking a deep breath he ignored the clutching in his gut and the small voice in his head telling him to turn around and make a run for it. For once in his life he did the right thing, he manned up and rang the doorbell.
He'd gone over the scenarios for days on end. He imagined Haley opening the door and taking him in her arms. He imagined the door opening to a new man in Haley's life. Hell! He even imagined Haley punching him upon opening the door. But never did he imagine the sight that greeted him and the clenching around his heart.
In front of him was the most beautiful little boy Nathan had ever laid eyes on. He was gorgeous with charcoal black hair and bright blue eyes. Without much thought, he understood that facing him was the most beautiful wonder in the world. His son.
He understood now. He understood all the dirty looks he received. He understood why the hole in his heart was never filled. He understood why no one would look at him the way the love of his life once did. He understood why Brooke had called him a dirt bag all those years ago and he understood why Lucas never went looking for him and why even his own mother let him walk away. Because standing in front of him was the son he'd abandoned.
It was in that moment that he finally realized how dangerous lying to one's self was. He had told himself that by leaving he was giving his son the best life he could; a life where dreams come true, a life where he could look at his dad and say with all honesty that he was proud that Nathan Scott was his father. But among all those lies he lost himself and instead of being the man Haley married he became the devil himself. He had become Dan Scott in all his selfish and conceited glory.
"Who are you?" asked the little boy asked. Shaking himself out of his thoughts Nathan paid attention to that beautiful little boy, the one that had inherited his mother's adorable frown.
"Mommy someone's at the door." yelled the little boy into the house.
With a startling thought, Nathan felt himself freeze. He didn't know what his son's name was! With all the guilt and the unanswered phone calls he'd never bothered to learn what his son's name was!
"Who is it Micca?" a velvety, beautiful voice called. A voice he'd recognize anywhere, anytime.
The voice he spent late nights dreaming of.
The voice he could never forget.
The voice of the love of his life.
It was his Haley's voice.
He looked up from his son just in time to watch Haley come into view and freeze where she stood.