A/N: After watching Ducking and Diving for the umpteenth time, I've finally organized my thoughts enough to get this out. The pairing might be astounding, but I think it works, on some odd, weird level.
I mean, c'mon. Did no one catch the sexual tension in that episode?
He never wanted to see his face again. He hated him, despised him for what he had done and what it had done to the group. But he had left him with his life. That had to mean something.
Allan had to know.
He crept through Sherwood Forest slowly, using every ounce of stealth he possessed. The camp would be asleep by now, but the band's fearless leader often took walks late at night, eager to catch trespassers and those loyal the Sheriff. Allan winced inwardly, knowing that he was now cast among that lot. Why hadn't he just confessed when Robin had wanted the truth? Begging forgiveness would be better than this.
A twig snapped underfoot, and Allan froze. Around him, the forest echoed silence, still as death and twice as quiet. He could feel animalistic eyes, watching him, judging him.
"I did what I had to. I never meant for this to happen," he muttered under his breath, releasing some of the breath he had been holding.
"I thought I told you I never wanted to see your face again." There was the voice that had haunted his dreams. Allan straightened from his subconscious crouch, biting his lip. He turned slowly, coming face to face with the arrow he had been expecting.
"Kill me, Robin. Please."
"Once, I thought you didn't deserve to live. Now, I'm not sure if I believe you deserve to die." Bowstring retracted, deadly arrow faced the ground. "At least, not like this. A traitor's death is more fitting than a silent killing in the night. You should hang, in front of those you betrayed, instead of slink here like the coward you are and expect an easy out."
"So hang me." Allan spread his arms wide. "Tie me up for all to see. I can't bear to live knowing I hurt you, or the gang."
"But you did!" And then Robin was there, a breath away, face contorted with the anger he had seen just yesterday. The anger he deserved. He could feel his ex-leader, his once friend, shaking with rage and betrayal. "You chose to go with Gisborne. I have nothing more to say to you." He turned to go, strong shoulders hunched, bared by the cruel moon's glow.
"Wait!" Allan reached out, hoping, wishing. His hand collided with the strong muscle of Robin's arm. The archer brushed it off, like it was no more than a fly.
Allan took a deep breath. "W-when you caught me," he began, cursing himself for letting his voice shake like a weak woman's. "When we were there, you asked about the camp…and Marian." He balled his fists, breathing hard as though he had run a great distance. "You asked if I had told Gisborne about the camp, or Marian. But you never asked if I had revealed the most deadly secret."
Robin froze. "And what secret is that, friend?" The word ripped from his throat with a snarl. He refused to turn around, refused to see the hurt on his previously trusted comrade.
"The one you and I keep. The one I couldn't bear to tell anyone but myself." Allan sank to his knees in the discarded leaves and dirt. His hands hung limp at his sides, palms turned outward, facing Robin's retreating form, their own silent plea.
Robin spun on his heel, snarling. "Don't you dare!"
"What? Confess the truth at last? Tell you what you need to hear, before anything is anymore skewed into an illusion?" Allan looked up at the other man, blue eyes shining like pale sapphires in the moonlight.
Shaking his head, Robin stepped closer, reaching out as though to strike Allan where he kneeled. But he couldn't bring his hand to perform the action his mind knew must be taken. His heart rose up in his throat as he locked eyes with Allan and stared.
"I love you." The words were quiet, almost inaudible, but to Robin, it seemed if they echoed through the woods with enough force to bring all the King's men running back from the Crusades. "I don't know when it started. All I know is-"
"Stop." Robin's voice, though steely and cold, shook like a leaf from the last branch before wintertime. "You betray me, and my men. What has happened in the past is in the past-"
"So why can't I come back to camp?" A disbelieving look sent a wry grin scampering across Allan's haggard face. "Alright, so maybe that's a bit…rash of me."
"A bit!" Robin's hands were thrown in the air, disturbing a few squirrels going about their nightly business. "Allan A' Dale, you are completely…" he spun once, thinking of the right word, before he could put his finger on it.
"Mad. You're absolutely mad. And we're done with you."
Robin of Locksley turned back to the direction from whence he came, green eyes sparkling with tears. He loved Allan, too; like a brother, like a friend, and, on occasion, a lover. When seeing Marian was out of the question, or on quiet nights when a woman's touch was especially hard to come by, Allan had always been there. But no longer, because Robin could no longer trust the man who had once whispered across his skin and made him arch in pleasure. The time to trust the quick-witted, charming young man was over. And Robin regretted it with every ounce in his being.
Allan watched his friend go, gritting his teeth against tears. There had been a time when all he wanted was a little bit of adventure, and he had been willing to go to any lengths to get it. But now, all he wanted was to see Much's smiling face, to see Will's new creation, to hear Djaq's stories of the Far East.
Whatever it took, he swore, he would make things right. Djaq was right; a man could change.
A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better
But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes
Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse