A/N: So, I had a huge idea after seeing this really hot picture of Mila the other day, and I just finished watching a cute music video. And so I was like, "God damn, Mila's hot. I want that on my wall. Because she's hot. I think I'll put that next to this picture I downloaded of Christy and is now on my wall. Because Mila looks like a brunette Emma Stone. Who I'd bang." THEN BOOOM. I had an idea. And thus is my idea, in ''Clarky'' form. I have another one-shot that I should have uploaded, if it didn't pain me to write the same shit over..again. Anyway yeah, here you go, Mila :DD Some of the stuff might be a little... ''tweeked'' in order for me to write this. Don't be mad? DDD:
So yeah, I was a little upset with Kyle before I went on vacation with my family. But I did call him after I got to Hawaii and we were cool, and I for one couldn't wait to see him and my friends again. Two weeks are longer than they seem, and good old South Park was calling my name. So our flight got in at around 11 am, so when we go back to my house, I just threw my stuff on my purple sheeted bed and squealed. It was AWESOME to be back in my room again. My friends pictures everywhere, posters of Harry Potter, Green Day, Owl City, Taylor Swift, Scott Pilgrim vs. The world, etc. I missed my room, I missed my life!
I smiled as I traced the edge of this picture Stan had taken of Kyle and I last summer. It was really corny, us facing each other, holding each others hands and kissing while the sun kinda shone on us. I felt that memory rush through my soul. Gross, I sound like a Christmas card. I needed to talk to my friends.
"Mom? I'm going to Tuesdays house. I'll be back by 5?" I told my mom as I dashed out the door, noticing that she nodded her head while raising her coffee cup at me as if to say "Get the hell out of here, already". I ran down the side walk, around the corner to the left. I started to slow down, to notice my surroundings a bit as I saw Tuesdays house just up the block. There was snow on the ground, but it was spring time. So there wasn't a lot of it, just a handful scattered on the ground and bushes and trees and such. Other than that, it was pretty warm. A nice day, the sky was blue, the neighborhood's houses were green, blue and white. Excepts for Tuesdays, hers was cream and red. I took my purple scarf off and shoved it in the little bag I managed to grab in my rush. I rubbed my mittens together, grinning as I realized my white t-shirt had the same pattern. I was probably jet lagged, but I guess I looked okay. I stepped up to Tues' house and rang the doorbell. I frowned. Ew, my stomach felt all weird and empty and angsty. What the hell was that? Oh well, I decided to shrug it off when Betsy and Rixon, Tuesdays favorite maid and butler, answered the door. They seemed..upset.
"Hi...Betsy? Rixon? What's up?" I studied their expressions, worry creepy down the edge of my spine. These people were always sickly happy, and to see their faces in such..negative mode, it was disturbing.
"Oh...Miss Clara, Lady Tuesday should be waiting for you in the first living room. Would you please, sit here while I fetch her for you?" Rixon stated, seeming to get grimmer when he said my name. Now I was definitely worried. Rixon was never distressed. Betsy sent me a weak smile, asked me if I wanted a drink, and sat me in the waiting room. I told her no thank you, and she patted my hand and then left.
Rixon returned shortly with Tuesday. She looked like she'd been crying, because her face was pale, and she had a tissue in her right hand. I stared at her. I was not comfortable with her being so upset, being so unhappy. She was Tuesday, everyones mother fucking gum drop eating rainbow shitting care bear. If she was sad, something must have been wrong. Her hips swayed slowly, instead of quickly like they usually would. She wasn't wearing her blue trench coat, like she usually would. Instead, it was black. In fact, everything she was wearing was black, except her tank top, which was white.
"Tuesday?" My eyes bulged. She sighed a shaky sigh. "Tuesday? God, what's wrong!"
She smiled at me and sat down, taking my hands into hers and looking at me dead in the eye. Her lip quivered. She opened her mouth to say something, but bit her lip as she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. Her body shook slightly.
"C-C-Clar-ra..?" She stuttered, breathing slowly to try to calm herself down. I waited. I didn't know what to do, she was such a depressing sight. She opened her mouth once again.
"YOU!" We both turned around to see the voice had interrupted Tuesday. "YOU CAUSED THIS! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
"Sadie, what are you talking about?" I asked, wondering where the hell she had come from out of the blue like that. "What do you mean?"
"YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?" She roughly brushed her arm across her face, obviously wiping away tears. Her face was flushed, and her eyes screamed fury and sadness. And again, I was totally confused.
"Sadie, shut up." Tuesday mumbled, standing up and brushing her short black skirt and walking towards Sadie. "You think he'd want you to yell at her? and I haven't even told her yet. Back. The hell. Off"
Sadie narrowed her eyes but huffed when Rixon made the ''I'll-knock-you-the-fuck-out-if-you-make-one-more-step-towards-her-" face. She turned on her heel and ran into the other room, crying again.
"Please, Tuesday just tell me what's wrong!" I was growing impatient. She sighed and pulled me down the hallway that Sadie had just ran down. I realized that most of my friends were in there. Addie, Lloyd, Laura, Stan, Kenny, Christy, Richie and Micah. They all looked terrible, like they've been up for ten hours or something. Now I was REALLY REALLY concerned.
"I..I haven't told her yet" Tuesday winced when she received evil glares from half the room. She sighed and sat down next to Kenny, as he instinctively drapped his arm over her shoulder. Christy was sitting in Lloyd's lap, and Laura was whimpering. Richie's face was smoothed into a depressing line, and Micah was sobbing. Stan was... I don't even know how to say it. He was practically wailing in the background.
"You haven't told her?" Richie stated coldly, getting up and facepalming. I raised an eyebrow. Told me what?
"No, Richie, but I'm going to. About right now"
"Well, yeah, I'd like to know if my-"
"SHUT UP, RICHIE!" Christy yelled from Lloyd's lap, tears also streaming down her face. "Just shut up and sit down! There is no time to be fucking cynical!"
They were arguing over something. Kyle will probably tell them to knock it off. Wait, where was Kyle?
"Oh, I'm cynical? I'M CYNICAL? I'm JUST trying to let her know what happened, but I'M CYNICAL? Man fuck you, I have no time for this!" Richie sat down with an unjust huff, crossing his arms over his green long-sleeved t-shirt. His brown eyes did not look happy.
But...where the hell was Kyle?
"Hey, guys?" Everyone looked at me. I stepped back a little. "Where's Kyle?" That empty feeling I mentioned earlier started churning up a storm now, for some reason. Tuesday bit her lip.
"Clara...maybe you should...should sit down." Tuesday got up to tug me towards the window seat, a few feet away from the middle room where everyone was either sitting on the floor, couch or a chair. The TV was on, showing Jersey Shore, but no one was watching it.
Instead, they were all watching Tuesday and I.
"Well, what is it?" I tried to smile, but her cold stare sort of knocked it off my face. She sighed.
"Clara I- I'm so sorry. But...Kyle...he...he's not, I don't know- he's-"
Everything around me started to blur. That sick feeling in my stomach surrounded my whole body. My head felt heavier, I felt tired, I felt empty. Like nothing. Like there was no longer gravity on this earth, pulling me here. Making me stand up and sit down and hear this. This wasn't real. This wasn't happening.
"NO!" I screamed, kicking and yelling like a child throwing a tantrum. "NO! No it's no true! YOU'RE LYING!"
"Clara! Clara please! stop! STOP IT!" Christy screamed, getting up and rushing to me. I slapped her.
"GET AWAY from me!" I sobbed, blubbering like an idiot. Christy retreated into Lloyd. He sent me a death glare.
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Sadie bellowed, standing in front of me while point an accusing finger. I pushed her.
"YOU THINK I WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN? GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, YOU SELFISH WHORE!" I ran outside and slammed the door, hearing my friends crying after me to stop. I knew I was hysterical. I knew I couldn't see because my eyes were blinded by tears. But I didn't care. Why should I?
I ran inside my house and slammed the door, dropping my bag and falling to my knees, sobbing, weeping. I felt like dying. How could this have happened, and I not even know? I felt a hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. Nothing could comfort me now. I shrugged it off.
"Please just..leave me alone" I sniffed, looking up. My parents were looking at me. I frowned. I didn't need to be pitied. I didn't need the ''Clara, it's gonna be okays'' I needed this to all be a bad dream. I didn't need this. My mom tried to hug me. I shoved her.
"STOP! PLEASE!" I punched the wall, feeling all my energy drain from my body. I felt so spinless and alone. It was suddenly so cold, and dark. It was like someone poured water over my sunlight. Like someone kidnapped my hopes and raped my dreams. I felt so...wrong.
I started blacking out after I fought my dad. And as I was blacking out, all I could remember were the words Tuesday had said that had made me feel this way.
Clara, I'm so sorry
I don't know how to tell you this
Kyle died.
He died.
He's gone
You didn't say goodbye
Kyle.
Died.
He's. Dead.
I woke up in a hospital bed, to the blinding lights that pissed me off. I gritted my teeth. Why the hell was I in a god damn hospital? I cringed when the empty feeling in my stomach did a flip flop, making me feel sick. I frowned when I realized I was in this crappy paper gown. Gross, I hate those. I turned to the left, seeing that my room was painted a dark green. I sighed. They wanted to torture me. I noticed all the little teddy bears and balloons and such from my friends and family. A few cards, chocolates, etc.
I wasn't in the mood for anything happy.
I curled into a fetal position and started crying again. I knew I was pathetic, but I loved Kyle so much. I still do, and that will never change. I needed him, because without him, I felt like nothing. It wasn't like a break up, where the person was still alive. No, he was taken from me. I was robbed of love. The love that I craved so badly. I wanted to feel his touch again. I wanted to drive around South Park on a spring day in his red chevy truck again. I wanted to laugh at his ridiculous blush anytime I'd kiss him again. I wanted to hug him. To tell him one more time how much I loved him.
But I can't do that. Because it's too late.
I sighed again as I looked up to see my doctor coming in. I glared. I kinda don't like doctors. They seem way to nosy for my taste. All I wanted to do was to be alone.
"Miss...Hodgkiss?" the doctor asked me, looking at his yellow sheet. I didn't answer. The only reason you know me is because of your god damn paper.
"I'm Doctor Pilgrim, can I ask you some questions?" He sat on the stool next to me. I rolled my eyes and started picking at the IV. He made me stop.
"Fire away" I sighed. I really didn't want to be interviewed.
"Have you been feeling nauseous, lightheaded, or empty in the past few days?" He looked at me intensely, as if my words were god-like. I shrugged.
"Yeah. Pretty sick. I fainted a few times, and I've been feeling pretty sick since..yes. I've had those symptoms." I replied, swallowing. He frowned.
"Miss Hodgkiss-"
"It's Clara."
"Clara" His eyebrows creased, putting the clipboard and pencil down and he took my hands, looking me straight in the eye. "Have you ever had sexual intercourse with anyone?"
I stared at him, wide eyed. Uh, yeah, I have. But why did he need to know that? I guess he's the damn doctor, so...yeah.
"Um, yes, doctor. I-I have? But why do you-?" He looked pale, so I stopped. He rubbed his forehead.
"Clara, I think you may be...carrying a child." He stated flatly. I blinked.
"WHAT? But I-We! NO! We only did...it twice! and with protection! No- no way!" I started freaking out. I didn't need all this pressure. It was needed. No, I wasn't over him being gone yet. I can not be pregnant with his baby. No. No way.
"Well, we could take a test. Would you like one?"
"...Yeah, I..I guess. That's alright." He nodded and then left.
They think. That I could have. Kyle's baby? But we only...it was twice. The first time was an accident, the second time took us both by surprise. But, even my mom told me she conceived me the third time she had sex. I guess the ladies of my family are easier conceivers. But me? I'm only..I'm only 17! And he just..died. I can't be pregnant. No way. I'm not going to be 'that girl' who drops out of high school because she got knocked up. NO!
...But...At the same time..To be the mother of Kyle's baby. I would be the first, and the..the last. I winced. I didn't want to be pregnant yet, but if I had the chance to bring another, little Kyle into this world.
I had very mixed feelings about this.
"Clara!" I looked up and saw Christy, Addie, Tuesday and Laura standing at the door. I smiled, slightly. My eyes lingered on Christy. I remember that I had smacked her.
"Christy...I'm so sorry." I breathed, embracing her tightly when she got near me. She started laughing.
"Nah, I'd have probably done the same thing. No big deal, bro." She shrugged, pouting her lips and placing one hand on her waist.
"Jesus Christ, Clara, I thought you were going to bust a tit or something. Jeebus" Addie exasperated, leaning on the wall nearest to my bed. I rolled my eyes. She was wearing a black shirt, black skinnies and a white belt. She wore blue converse sneakers and a blue jacket, and he hair was in a ponytail. Addie was pretty, with her nice skin and her beautiful brown eyes. She just never really said it. Sure, she said she was hot, but never pretty.
"Aw, gee, you'd be a little edgy i-if you just heard about..oh oh.." Laura stuttered, looking at me with sad green eyes. I felt my heart sink. God damn, I missed him so much. I felt that empty feeling in my stomach once again, only this time I placed my hand over it. Tuesday eyeballed me strangely.
"Clara? are you hungry?" Tuesday asked, sitting on the edge on my bed. I grinned.
"Noooo" I sighed, removing my hand from my stomach. Kyle's baby could be in there. Even if Kyle wasn't here.
I shook my head and started to cry again, not as much as I did earlier, but I still cried. My friends hovered over me.
"Clara." Tuesday said, looking at me. I shuddered. "I'm not going to lie and say it's going to get easier. It won't. But you can't beat yourself up like this."
Tuesday kissed me on the lips, and I blinked a little bit. She had done it before, but everytime she does it scares me. She pulled away and smiled.
"I miss the Jew so much, but I can't imagine how you feel" she hugged me and Christy chuckled.
"Yeah, I'll bet" I mused, placing my hand on my stomach again. Tuesdays' eyebrow quirked.
"Hey guys, can you excuse Clara and I for a bit?" She said. Christy, Laura and Addie nodded, mumbling quick goodbyes as they left. I looked at Tuesday.
"Yeah?"
"So, you're preggers?"
I looked at her, dumbfounded. She started laughing.
"Damn, Clara, I never expected you and Kyle to- I mean, I knew you guys loved each other, but WOW. How many times?" She laid down on the hospital bed next to me, propping her body up with her shoulder. I pursed my lips.
"Twice" I shoved my face into a pillow as she toppled over in laughter.
"She fist pumped, obviously excited. "You GO, Kyle!"
"Miss Clara, the doctor will come to meet you in a few minutes" A nurse said over the intercom. I told her I'd be here.
So I couple of minutes later, my doctor, Dr. Pilgrim, showed up. He gave me one of those manual pregnancy tests, and I had to wait awhile. I asked Tuesday to stay with me. You know, for support. Of course she did, and when the doctor read my results, she was the first to know.
Yippie-doo, I'm pregnant. I'm happy, but at the same time, I feel so alone. I have Kyle's direct offspring growing inside of me. I loved that part, but my child will never meet his/her father. That hurts. I wanted them to know their daddy. To know how awesome he was and how much he would have loved him. But I'm also worried about everything else. Raising babies can be pure hell. But I could deal with it, there was Tuesday, and you and I both know she'd never ever let anything happen to me or Kyle's baby.
"I'm so happy! I AM SO. HAPPY!" Tuesday squealed a couple of weeks later. I smiled. My stomach was still pretty flat, so I was happy. My parents hadn't taken the news very well, but I didn't care. I was the mother of- Yeah, I already said that. But it's just so-
No, don't get me wrong. I'm not over the fact that Kyle is gone. I still cry myself to sleep. But- I don't know.
"Kyle was a real close friend of mine" Christy ended, while in her black dress and hat. She was speaking into the mike at Kyle's funeral, which Tuesday had to practically chain me down to. I kept throwing fits and crying over and over again. I kept bawling every time someone said his name. Stan was almost as bad as me. After Stan's speech, I almost toppled over in tears. It was so heart wrenching. His mother kind of loved me, but hated me. After she had found out I was pregnant, at first she called me a liar and a skank. Then, I don't know, after Addie ''talked'' to her, she believed me. I know we will probably never completely like each other, but we both loved her son dearly.
We buried Kyle, and I cried again. I clutched his tombstone for hours on end, Christy had to come back and get me 3 hours after the funeral. I still can't believe he's gone, it all happened to fast! I remember, just a couple of months ago, we were driving in his Chevy truck after skipping class. We were hanging out at Tuesdays' bar. We were sipping on smoothies and just talking about..about everything
...
"Kyle?" I asked, laying my head on his shoulder and sipping a strawberry banana smoothie. I fiddled with the car handle with my other hand while looking at the glass.
"Yeah?" He replied. I felt him turn slightly to look at me. He was drinking those weird kosher smoothies, while playing in my hair. I felt his breath on my ear.
"Where do you see yourself...in the future?" I asked, looking at him and meeting his gaze. He shruged and smiled his signature smile. I could have melted.
"Where do you see YOURSELF?"
"I'm serious." I straighted up and pouted my lips, showing him I was serious. He crossed his eyes.
"I...I see myself with you. I see myself with you" He replied. I smiled and kissed him, softly. He responded by groaning into the kiss, and I tugged on his shirt a bit. Then we stopped to breathe, and we did that panda nose thing.
Then I got out of the car.
"Hey, where do you see yourself?" Kyle called, but I smiled and just kept walking. "Clara! Come on!" He laughed.
...
One thing I regret. I never told him where I saw myself. But I often visited his grave site, and spoke to him. What, was that weird? Stan and I usually go together. We've gotten much closer since Kyle left us. I don't know, the girlfriend and the Super best friend. It just became a tradition. Every two weeks, we would just go. Talk to him, then leave.
So I found out what the baby is going to be, and when he's going to be born. Well, he's going to be born in may, around the 25-28th. Which means he/she might be born on his/her's daddy's birthday. That's ironic.
3 years later
"Clark? Clark, honey, come back here." I called after my son, tired. I had given birth to Clark on May 30th, 2009. He was now two years old, and god damn did he look like his dad. He had his eyes, and his dimples and smile. But he had my hair color. We were at the park, I was taking him to see Starks Pond, when he started running off. I followed him and grabbed him.
"EEEE! MOMMY NOOOOO!" He squealed and I laughed. I started tickling him, and he squirmed.
"Mommy?" He pointed to something behind us. "That?"
I turned around and saw..
Wait a minute. That can't be. Nah, I must have been woozy.
"Mommy, look! It's daddy!"
I froze. Yes, I showed Clark pictures of his father, so he knew who he was. But I didn't know anyone is South Park that looked like Kyle, if anyone did. I turned around and shook my head. The man that probably looked like Kyle to Clark was just standing there, staring at me. I set Clark down.
"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry" I apologized to the man. He nodded.
"It's okay, Clara."
"You know kids and how they- Excuse me?" I stopped mid-sentence when I realized this stranger knew who I was. "I'm sorry, you seem to know who I am?"
"Huh? Oh yeah. You know me too, Clar." I cringed. I hadn't been called Clar in years. Who was this person?
"You named him Clark? That's adorable. Sounds awful lot like that weird name Christy made for us."
"Can you tell me who you are? Maybe coming into the sunlight would help" I stated. He was kind of lurking in the shadows, and Clark and I were in the light. No one was at the park today but us, and this weird person who seemed to know a lot of me.
"Uh...okay" The figure stepped into the light slowly, and I gasped. No way was this happening. I was dreaming, this wasn't real. I was wrong again. No, no way that was-
"Kyle?" He answered for me, standing in the light. I stared at him. He was still wearing his green hat, he was still wearing his orange parka. He looked exactly the same, as I left him. My last memory of him. Our gazes were locked. I felt someone tugging on my shoulder.
"Mommy? Is that daddy?" Clark asked me, as Kyle broke our gaze to look at him. I blinked. I still wasn't sure this was him, I mean, he DIED.
"I...I don't know?" I answered, still looking at...him. At Kyle.
"Clark?" Kyle whispered. I shuddered, I hadn't heard that voice in 3 years. It was refreshing, like taking a hot shower after being in a blizzard all day. I felt all the memories of him flow back into my head, and for a minute, I let them over-power me. "Clark? Hi. I-I'm your dad. My name is Kyle. Do you know me?"
I felt Clark cling to my leg. Not in fear, but in awe of meet his father. I smiled.
"He got your shyness, Jew. What are the odds." I smiled, placing my right hand on my right hip. Kyle laughed. God, I missed that laugh.
"He got your cuteness, Hodgkiss. What aren't the odds?" He took a step closer, and Clark took a step back. I grinned.
"Clark? It's okay. Go say hi to daddy!" I gently urged him to go say hello to his father. He took a cautious step, letting go of my foot. He took another step away from me, and another one closer to he dad. The wind blew my hair and his, as he edged closer and closer to hid dad. When he was standing directly in front of him, he waved.
"Hai"
"Hi, Clark" Kyle grinned and bent down to grab Clark's nose. Clark squealed happily, grabbing Kyle's hand.
"Hey buddy, you have my eyes. So now, I'm stealing your nose! Grrrrr!" Clark stared at him, horrified.
"NOOOOOOO! GIVE ME MY DAMN NOSE!" He stomped around angrily, fuming. Kyle laughed.
"Okay okay! Jeez, Clara, he certainly has my temper!" He shook his head and gave Clark his 'nose' back. Clark attached himself to his fathers' leg. Kyle walked over to me, dragging Clark along with him. I couldn't stop smiling, because I never thought Clark would be able to meet Kyle. I felt my hand intertwine with Kyle's again.
"Why are you back here? How did you come back?" I asked, tilting my chin up so that I can meet his gaze. He shrugged.
"Tuesday told Kenny if he didn't find a way to get me back here, she wouldn't have sex with him anymore. And we all know, Kenny actually loves Tuesday, so. Here I am" He shrugged and picked Clark up. He frowned.
"I'm sorry for not being here, Clara. I'm sorry." He sighed, grabbing my hand again. I smiled.
"Oh please, you were dead. It was by pure luck that I happened to get knocked up before you died. I'm just happy that you're back, and don't ever leave me again, alright?" I hugged Kyle and kissed him for a long time, reunion kiss. We had to stop, of course. For air and for the fact that Clark looked disgusted.
So I brought Kyle and Clark back, of course everyone freaked out. They thought it was weird, but they were mostly happy. I lived the greatest of lives ever with Kyle, and I wouldn't change a bit of it.
Okay, maybe he wouldn't have DIED...
A/N: OKAY! So Mila, remember my surprise idea I told you about? Here it is! I am so sorry if I fucked up your character, Mila I'm serious. I think Clara was a bit OOC, and maybe Kyle was to. My apologies, I started at like, 11, now it's 3 am. I need to watch glee and angel, then maybe play the wii and go to sleep. But Mila, really, I hope you love your oneshot. I worked hard on it, and I hope it wasn't to corny for you. :DDD Yeah OH! And uh, I used a few OCs that don't belong to me. Laura, Lloyd, Addie, Richie, Micah, and Christy, do NOT belong to me. They are my friends' Ocs. Yeah. Anyways. Bye.