A/N I do not own TMNT, but I am forever grateful for their existence!

Because I've been feeling all the Raphril feels lately, and needed to do something about it...

Our Younger Years

It was the first time any of them had been in her apartment. Since her former roommate Taylor had declared she was moving back to her parents' place, April had found she could no longer afford to live in her current residence alone. A two-bedroom was just too expensive in the city. Besides, after gradually becoming closer with the guys, she was not thrilled about the idea of a new roomie keeping her unusual friends away. This left her with no other option but to downgrade to a smaller studio apartment.

Hearing of her relocation, the guys had each in turn offered to help her organize and pack her belongings before her lease was up on the first. Eager for the help, April had asked for Raphael to assist her. It probably seemed odd that she had accepted only Raphael's help, but there was no denying she felt most comfortable with him of all the brothers. Maybe it was because of the time they had spent alone together when trying to save said siblings a few months ago, but whatever the reason, April knew they shared a different kind of comradery.

With Taylor out for the evening, April had taken advantage of the rare solitude and invited Raphael to come over earlier that day. As soon as darkness had fallen, a gentle rap elicited her to crawl out from her gradually building fortress of chaos. Pulling the shades aside, she grinned in greeting at the giant turtle crouching self-consciously on her fire-escape. After unlocking the window, he helped her drag the sticky wooden frame up before carefully easing his large form through the relatively tiny space. Once he was in the living room, they both gave soft "Hey's," before glancing away from each other.

Not quite sure why she suddenly felt her cheeks reddening, April peeked at him from the corner of her eye to see him curiously inspecting his surroundings. Realizing this was probably the first time he had ever been willingly allowed into an ordinary human dwelling, she regained her courage to brightly peep, "Thanks for coming," she gestured around, "See, I really did mean it when I said I could use the help."

Raphael quirked an eye ridge at the half-filled cardboard boxes and domestic debris littering the once cozy landscape, "I can see that."

Feeling her skin brighten crimson all over again, April decidedly weaved through the rubble to maneuver into the kitchen, "Can I get you anything? Beer? Water? Flat ginger-ale?"

"Flat ginger-ale?" He questioned as he blithely used his long legs to carry himself across to her position.

"Taylor, my roommate, says pop tastes better without the carbonation," at his disgusted look, she laughed, "I'll take it that's a no on the ginger-ale."

The corners of his mouth twitched, "I think I'm gonna need a beer to make it through this disaster."

"Hey!" April huffed as she tossed him a cold one, "You try packing up a lifetime's worth of possessions in little over a week while working full time and dealing with a roommate who never gives you any privacy."

Raphael chuckled as he popped the cap, "No worse than moving with Mikey."

"You guys didn't always live in the last Lair?"

"Naw," he rested his carapace on the edge of the counter, "For a while we called home anywhere we could get a night's shuteye without something foul dripping on our heads. Eventually we found an old abandoned tunnel and called it ours for a bit, but a few months in, Sensei realized the place wasn't exactly sturdy."

"You mean it couldn't keep up with the physical needs of four energetic kids."

He thumbed at his back, "Hey you crack this shell against any wall a couple of times and see how "structurally sound" it is then."

April laughed, "Poor Splinter."

"What about poor me?" Raphael snorted, "First real good crack in my shell I got in that place."

"Awe muffin do you want me to kiss it better?" After the words were released from her mouth, April abruptly realized her mistake. Based on the wide-eyed look he briefly gave her before awkwardly coughing, as he spun around to inspect anything but the human in the vicinity, Raphael obviously was just as thrown off as her. After clearing his throat he muttered, "Anyway had to move after that. Found the last Lair a few months later and stayed there ever since – well until we had to set up shop elsewhere after it got – you know – totalled."

Rubbing her arm both from guilt over their old home's destruction and her verbal slip, April walked up beside him, "I still feel awful about that."

"Don't worry about it." Raphael shrugged her off, "How were you supposed to know Sacks was a psycho working for the Shredder?"

"I know…" She continued to rub her arm nervously, "But I'm still sorry about it."

Seeing her forlorn look, Raphael gave her a soft sucker punch to the shoulder, "Chill out April. It's all water under the bridge. Now, what do you want me to do?"

Smiling gently at his effort to steer the conversation into safer and more comforting waters, April directed him to a pile of packed boxes in her room, "If you can label those and then move them into the hallway that would be a great start."

The turtle nodded and accepted her proffered black sharpie. Crouching down, he began to inspect the contents in each box before quickly jotting notes in messy block-like script on the cardboard flaps. For a while, they worked predominately in silence. Raphael dutifully worked to complete his task, while April attempted to sort through the random hodgepodge of objects into some intelligible order before stuffing them into various boxes. Occasionally, they would break the quiet to comment to each other.

After Raphael had made his third trip to the hallway and back to the bedroom, he kneeled before his next target. April glanced up from where she sat cross-legged on her bed when he approached her. She strained her neck to get a better view before he carefully lowered himself beside her on the mattress. He grunted, "This is you."

It was plainly a statement and April tilted her head in question when he turned his green fingers to show her the picture in his hand. At first April wasn't sure why he had drawn her attention to it. Sure, the photograph depicting a much younger April and her father had deep sentimental value to her, but that did not explain Raphael's interest in it. Taking the worn bronze frame from his hand, April inspected the picture closer and nonchalantly commented, "Yes. It's me and my dad. I have a lot of pictures of us together, but I guess I kept this one because it was the last one taken of him before he died." She gave a strained smile of painful yet happy recollection, before looking up at the solemn turtle beside her, "Why?"

"It's not just a picture of you and your dad," a large green finger pointed to the background, "See?"

"What are you – Oh my God!" April felt her eyebrows shoot up her forehead as she took in what she had failed to notice. After all these years of it sitting on her dresser, she had never looked beyond the two smiling faces in the foreground, but there was no doubt it was a picture taken in the old laboratory before the fire. For there, almost unnoticeable because of the clear glass, was a large terrarium and if April squinted just enough, she could make out one or two shapes that were undoubtedly terrapin. One of which could very possibly be the same turtle who sat beside her now.

Raphael filled her shocked silence, "Don't you find it weird?"

She frowned in confusion, "Find what weird?"

"That your pets ended up turning into…" He gestured at his large plastron, "This?"

Upon seeing his furrowed brow and the dark note to his deep baritone, April placed a hand on his forearm, "Raph…"

At her touch, he abruptly stood with his back to her while he huffed, "You should find it weird." He then just as suddenly spun around to growl, "Why don't you find it weird?!"

Unimpressed at his tone, April folded her arms as she retorted, "What about you?"

"Huh?"

April rolled her eyes, "Do you find it weird?"

He looked flabbergasted at the question, "Of course I do! Ain't it obvious?"

"No it's not." She glared up at him ceasing his bid at interrupting her, "You don't have any memories from then. As far as you're concerned, the first time you met me was on the rooftop that night. So the only weirdness is the fact you hadn't really talked to a human before then."

Raphael visibly deflated before turning his back to her once again. He was still for a moment before muttering, "I have memories."

April felt her jaw drop, "Wait. What?!"

He sighed before slowly meeting her gaze with intense amber eyes, "I have memories – you know… From before." He paused so they could both mentally fill in "the mutation."

April was dumbfounded, "I thought you guys couldn't remember anything?"

"Mikey and Don can't, but Leo and I can." Raphael sunk back onto the bed, "Sensei thinks it's because we may have been slightly older when the experiments started."

"Wait…" April found her eyes widening in realization, "Does that mean you remember me feeding you pizza and filming you and…" She suddenly was blushing scarlet, "Those times I played dress-up with you?"

"Neither of us remember everything and what we do isn't the same as how you'd remember them: mostly just feelings and sensations – not conscious thoughts." Raphael's lips twitched in amusement at her blush, "I don't remember what you dressed me as, but I do know you put something on me." He scratched his head as he chuckled, "If I recall, I felt pretty constrained in whatever it was."

"Oh God…" April buried her face in her hands, "I take it back. It is weird."

They were silent for several minutes. Both were lost trying to wrap their minds around how that little girl and her pet ended up where they were now. April startled out of her reverie when Raphael pried her fingers off of the frame. He studied it again, before standing and carrying it back to its box. Pulling at the flaps, he commented, "You were the best part of that place."

"Huh?"

"Those injections they used to give us were scary as hell," he rose again after inking a few choice words on the box, "but on the days you were around, they didn't seem as bad." He smirked at her, "The free pizza was good too."

April shook her head in disbelief, before jerking her head upright as a sudden thought hit her. She snapped her fingers excitedly, "I've got an idea!"

Promptly, she lunged off the bed to dig feverously through her closet. Smiling as she found the book she was looking for, April pulled herself into a kneeling position on the carpet in order to brandish her prize in his direction, "Check this out."

"What is it?"

Raphael joined her on the greying floor and she eagerly scooted herself so that she was leaning against his side. Enjoying his warmth, she flipped open to the first page, "My old notebook. I used to make photo collages all the time when I was younger – kind of a visual diary. Anyway, this one is from that summer I spent mostly driving dad nuts at work when I wasn't playing with you guys."

She paused in anticipation as he examined the mass of jaggedly cut photographs that had undoubtedly been meticulously glued into place by a young April. There were pictures of her dad in his lab coat, pictures of her leaning over Splinter's old cage, and of course there she was giving a toothy grin as she gestured proudly with her arms to the turtle-containing terrarium. April felt her breath catch when Raphael lightly grasped her knee when he flipped to the next page. The following four pages were each devoted to an individual exposé of each turtle and of course, there was one dedicated to Raphael himself: a tiny box turtle with his identifying red dot on his carapace. Raphael gasped, "That's me?"

She couldn't help but smile up at him as she wrapped her arms around his own, "Yep." She pointed down at his name plaque, "See, there was even a sign."

Together they gradually flipped through every page. Laughing and making snide remarks where appropriate. April found herself burying her face in Raphael's bicep when they got to the page where she had him boasting a bright red cape and mini hair scrunchies on each leg. April could hear his smirk without even looking, "What kind of super hero costume is that? Come on O'Neil, everyone knows capes are overrated."

Secretly, April had to admit she was pleased he was not put out over the outfit. Knowing his gruff exterior she had fretted he would become irritated, but she figured showing him the picture of Michelangelo in a pink Barbie tutu complete with a matching bow helped deter any resentment he may have felt towards the experience.

Eventually, they reached the last page where the four turtles were encircling a piece of pizza. April laughed at the image, "You know the fact that you guys survived on that diet probably should have tipped off those science jocks that their injections were doing something to you."

Raphael chuckled, "And to think what my life would have been like if you hadn't introduced us to pizza."

"A dim prospect indeed," April giggled. "What would you do without me?"

Raphael glanced down at her where she still was comfortably curled against his arm and allowed his amber gaze to once more meet her blue. April suddenly found her mouth dry and found herself licking her lips. She began to lean in, her heart beating a little faster as Raphael moved closer.

Then they heard a key push into the lock, and their world froze. Before April could even comprehend what was happening, Raphael was gone through the living room window, and Taylor was kicking her boots off in the doorway. Her roommate frowned distastefully at the mess, "Did you even bother to do anything productive while I was out?"

Sighing, April found her sight resting once more on the notebook in her lap. At the red-head's dreamy silence, Taylor rolled her eyes as she stomped into her room, "Weirdo."

April was left chuckling to herself, "You don't know the half of it."