Time: 10:03 am
Date: 7/4/10
To: Shawn
From: Hunter
Message: man we got a srs prob. hart is hosting raw tonite.
Reply From: Shawn
Time: 10:30 am
Message: hunter wtf is your problem? u woke me up at 10 on a monday mornin to tel me bout you heart murmer? crist y did i bother givin u my cel number.
Reply From: Hunter
Time: 10:31 am
Message: dammit shawn listen! im not talkin bout my heart im talkin bout HART. hes bck an hes hosting raw. TONITE!
Reply From: Shawn
Time: 10:35 am
Message: r u fuckin ON somethin? bc if you are ur shit out of luck. im not bailing ur ass out of jail again. theres no way in hell vinnie man would allow that loser to host raw.
Reply from: Hunter
Time: 10:36
Message: rnt u stil lik, a peep? doesnt that mean no cussing?
Reply From: Shawn
Time: 10:39
Message: dammit hunter, ive told u b4. just bcuz im a 'christian' does NOT mean i worship JAY!
Reply From: Hunter
Time: 10:40
Message: oh right. well doesnt bein a christian mean no cussing?
Reply From: Shawn
Time: 10:42
Message: im aethist on mondays mornings.
Reply From: Hunter
Time: 10:43
Message: srsly u need to rethnk ur dedication 2 ur faith. an its no joke. the cock lover called me himself an hour ago an told me. said hes got a "bury the hatchet" storyline for u 2.
Reply From: Shawn
Time: 10:51
Message: whatever... so ur not shiting me? Brets really comming back?
Reply From: Hunter
Time: 10:52
Message: uh huh. wait whut? since wen do u cal seaweed head "bret" anyway?
Time: 11:00
Date: 7/4/10
To: Shawn
From:Hunter
Message: Shawn? hello?
Time: 11:20
Date: 7/4/10
To: Shawn
From: Hunter
Message: Goddamnit.
Later that fatefull monday...
" This is stupid Vince."
Vince McMahon sighed deeply, irritated that one of his underlings was'nt unquestioningly doing as he ordered. Of course, Bret had'nt been his 'underling' in years, though their past relations would forever haunt Vinces wet dreams. But that was beside the point. He was Vincent Kenedy McMahon goddammit, and Bret was supposed to be bending over his desk, showing his hot little ass to his superior as he writhed in agonized pleasure-
"Vince?"
The pervert in question lurched out of his inner erotica so violently that he forgot to bend his knees when his feet made contact with the floor. Consequently, he landed on his billion dollar ass, square in the middle of the locker room.
Bret 'The Hitman' Hart looked down at him curiously "Vince? Goddamnit listen to me. I did not come here so that you could stick me in some dumb shoot with Princess- I mean Shawn," He said irritably.
Vince sighed again. Bret was many things. Good looking, great in the sack, a top wrestler and even quit intelligent. But Hitman could'nt read the mood of a conversation to save is life. Egnoring the other wrestlers snickering, he took the strong arm Bret offered him and stood. "Just shut up and do the storyline Bret. Its really about time you two stopped being so stubborn and started acting like adults," He didnt have to brush dirt off his pants because though it was a male locker room, it was amazingly clean, the luminessant white walls throwing angelic light on the men as they frolicked around, giggling as they did each others hair and discussed their outfits for the night.
Bret made a face that made Vince doubt he was capable of being an adult "But this is not why I agreed to come Vince. I did'nt come here to be in some dumb storyline that will have all my fangirls writing me in fanfics as an overbearing, selfish asshole whose constantly dragging an unrealisticly feminin Shawn Michaels off into dark corners for a little after dinner rape."
Vince felt a tingling begin in his lower regions. It was definatly the begining of arousal and not, like, an STD he might have picked up on his nightly trips to Boystown. "Oh?" he asked leaning against the wall with what he hoped was casual sexuality while simultaniously shifting his legs together in an attempt to ease the itchy, buning balls he'd been suffering from for the past week. "And would you care to tell me why you did come here?"
Brets black eyes- yes thats right, black because it TOTALLY makes sense for someone to have BLACK eyes and not, you know, brown or something- gleamed with a sadness that was so unbelievably HAWT that Vince and all others in the imediate area had to hold themselves back to keep from jumping the incedibly attractive 54 year old stroke survivor right there. They even stoped humming cutely in order to stare lustily at the Hitman.
Bret shrugged. "Well-" He stoped talking when his ** exreamly sharp hearing- which he developed after years of being in eardrum busting arenas full of roaring fans- kicked in and he spun around, emo eyes zeroing in on the petite, woman like form of the Heartbreak kid. Their eyes locked for a moment but Shawn, being the feminin one, broke the contact first in favor of staring shyly at the floor and scuffing the carpet with his boot. Which is fitting behavior for a 46 year old man/woman/whatever and not at all the mannerisms of a prepubescent schoolgirl.
Again, everyone in the vicinity found themselves staring- this time at Shawn- and trying to resist the overwhelming desire to commit a very seriouse crime in broad daylight with hundreds of other people in the building. Of course, some of the men had WIVES but that little plot hole means nothing in the all powerfull character killing FanFic Universe. And in FanFic, everyone knows that if you are a wrestler or are in any way associated with wrestling, you HAVE to be homosexual. Because Mary Fucking Sue Said So Goddammit. And If You Dare Say Anything About It She Will Kidnap Shawn And Make Him Even More Sue-ish Than He Already Is.
Anyway.
Seeing everyone ogling HIS princess, Bret's totally NOT OOC possesiveness took over and he stormed over to Shawn. Taking his arm in a death grip that somehow did'nt make Shawn punch him in the gut, Bret shot Vince a glare
" You're paying me extra for the fangirl erotica thats about to take place."