He had asked her one night, when their legs were tangled up together, and though her answer had been flippant, she had been turning the exchange over in her mind ever since.
"Don't you love the sound of the waves?"
"Oh! I guess I still just tune them out. But, yes."
Eric had chucked at this, but he chuckled at most everything she said. He found her amusing. He laughed when she misused everyday items. He snorted when she became excited at the sight of chickens or wildflowers, just because she hadn't seen them in sixteen years. He chuckled when she stumbled because she was still no more adjusted to her feet than a toddler. He would correct her use, bring her closer to the new item, and pick her up, but she still gasped and squealed and fell.
None of this ever happened under the sea.
Sure, she had a few faux pas and her share of stumbles, but she was not the odd one out every single day. She was not the new toy, the odd fixation, the one every dignitary and to come up and see for themselves. Sometimes, it would just be nice to not be so cornered.
It was three in the morning, and Ariel, try as she might, could not hear the waves, but only Eric's heavy breathing beside her. Block him out. Remember what waves sound like. She knew, of course she knew, but it was so constant to her, the lapping and folding of water, that she had desensitized to them.
I just have to be closer. She slipped out of bed and tiptoed out of the room, making her way to the beach. She heard the waves crash against the sand and exhaled. She just had to memorize that sound. She would never forget it again.
Ariel sank down onto the sand and let out a shuttering breath. Maybe she should just go back. After all, she had spent over a year now on land, and she didn't seem able to acclimate. Maybe Eric would come back with her, and they both could just live under the sea together, happily. She'd rebuild her grotto, and they'd live in one of the palace wings, or get a home of their own.
She put her chin on her knees and let a few tears roll down her face. There was so much more up here to see, but why did others have to watch her see it?
She wasn't a spectacle, she was a human. Ariel stretched her feet out to meet the water and exhaled as the tide rushed up to her knees. It still never felt cold to her, no matter how deep she waded, or where she went. Her blood hadn't changed.
She could go back, if she wanted to. Ariel stood, wiping the sand off her hands and walked deeper into the water. Daddy would understand, and change her back, good as new.
She could go back, if she wanted to. She'd still see Eric of course; if he wouldn't turn into a merman to be with her, then she'd visit him every day – twice a day!
She could go back, if she wanted to. Back to being a princess, back to understanding all the objects, the rules, back to where she had grown up and lived most of her young life.
Ariel gathered her skirts around her hips and walked deeper into the water, feeling it lap around her thighs. She exhaled and wiggled her toes, gasping when she realized what she was doing. She had toes. She had everything she had asked for; a grand adventure, a world she can call home, a wonderful husband, and new things to discover.
She could go back, but she didn't want to.
Under the sea, Atlantica, was not her home. She had grown up there, she was comfortable there, and she knew how to exist in harmony and with peace there, but it was not where she belonged. She was never truly one of them, she never understood them fully.
She looked back up at the castle, moonlight casting over it with an intensity she had not quite yet grown used to. Eric, hair disheveled, stood on the bedroom balcony that overlooked the ocean. He lifted his hand and waved a little, smiling sleepily.
She waved back excitedly and trotted out of the ocean, letting her nightgown clash again at her ankles. The sand stuck to her feet and her hair was fully dried, bouncing around her shoulders instead of sticking to her back.
Strange objects were littered up and down the beach, and she had only just begun to learn the names for them. One day, she'd know all of them, she was sure.
She ran up the stairs with a speed and cadence she was still thrilled up to master, and exhaled loudly as she closed her bedroom door behind her.
"Evening stroll?" Eric smiled, flopping back into bed.
"I was just doing some thinking." She smiled, rolling back into bed and laying her head on his chest.
Her heart beat quickly, from sensory overload, from the general thrill of being alive. She had not grown numb to this world, and she hoped she never would.