Disclaimer: I don´t own the turtles, unfortunately i´m still woring on that one.
So he had known Mona for almost a year now, and sure, he got why Raph was so into her, they were both hard on the outside, soft on the inside, they could talk for hours about cars and bikes and why most of the people in their class could use a stiff kick up the rear end, apparently, but right now, as she was speeding up to his house on her cherished red Harley at roughly a thousand miles over the speed limit, he was really starting to see it.
He´d always figured a guy had to be at least a little versed in romance to be in a relationship, but as it turns out, having a girlfriend was sort of like having a best friend, just with a little less personal space required. And he´d figured it out watching Raph and Mona betting on who was gonna be the first to die in a horror film, or when he´d caught them in the middle of and arm wrestle or fighting over who had the coolest bike.
she had that stiff leather jacket on, the one with the spikes on the shoulders that usually made her look crazy cool, but right now Mikey was just glad he was wearing a helmet seeing as he was kind of a human bobble head right now. It was sort of slick and slippery in the rain and Mikey clung onto her for dear life as she sped up the hill that led to his building.
It had seemed like a good idea when he´d asked her for a ride home, then again, the sky hadn´t opened its flood gates at that point in time and he´d figured that she couldn't be a worse driver than his brother was.
Boy was he wrong. One thing was for sure, he wouldn´t be complaining about his brothers driving for a long time.
She came to a sudden halt, and Mikey swore that if you´d have seen it in a cartoon there would have been smoke coming out of the wheels. He hopped off the bike, and if it hadn´t been for the highly unattractive puddle at his feet, he would have knelt down and kissed the lovely hard stable ground.
He shrugged his shoulders, repositioning the straps of his backpack and figured he´d leave his helmet on seeing as the rain was only getting worse. He pushed his visor up and sent Mona a genuine smile as she kicked down the side stand on her bike, leaning back against the seat with folded arms.
¨you okay from here, Mike?¨ she asked, her head tilted slightly to the side, probably trying to see his face clearly through the silly string thick curtain of rain getting heavier by the second.
Boy, she was starting to sound even more like Raph than he had realized.
¨yeah, I'm good¨ he waved her off with a quick chuckle. ¨thanks for the ride, M, I owe ya one¨
¨anytime, Mike¨ she shrugged, her face melding back into that whatever look that kept her seriously big heart on the down low, just the way she liked it. ¨hey listen, I didn´t get to talk to Raph today before he took off, so remind him for me that he´d better be at my art show on Friday, or else¨ she pointed a gloved finger at him, making him feel like the subject to some kind of investigation.
He shook his head, humored at the fact that ¨or else¨ seemed to be the glue that held those two´s relationship together.
¨don´t worry, M, he wouldn´t miss it for the world, trust me¨ he assured her because it was true ¨he told us like weeks ago that we all had to clear our schedules for it.¨ he said, realizing a little too late that Raph would have probably pummeled him had he known he had just released that highly embarrassing piece of information.
He got embarrassed way too easily, that guy.
He could have sworn he saw her blush a little, but for his own safety he´d keep it to himself and pretend it was the rain playing tricks on him. She unfolded her arms, placing them behind her on the seat of the bike and leaning back against it. ¨that´s good to hear. Just make sure he wears a suit, or a blazer or something would ya? the place where the event´s being held sounds pretty classy from what I hear¨ she said and Mikey didn´t quite miss the hint thrown in. ¨and if he turns up in jeans and his slipknot hoodie when I'm being forced to wear those wicked feminine feet destroying heels, he´s definitely gonna be in for it¨
Mikey looked down at her shiny black biker boots and smiled, trying to imagine her wearing heels. If she was dangerous now, how much damage could she cause in stilettos?
¨why do I get the feeling he´s already said no to this and I´m supposed to convince him?¨ he arched a questioning brow in her direction, seriously hoping he was wrong.
She smiled, somewhat smugly and pushed herself up, tightening her gloves before swinging one leg over her bike and reaching out towards the handles. ¨hey, hey, I thought you owed me one¨ she smirked. ¨besides, Raph´s a pushover when it comes to you guys. especially you Mike. Let´s face it, you´ve managed to rope him into a lot of crazy situations over the years. I have complete and total faith in you¨
And she wasn´t wrong. Sure, the puppy dog eyes worked the best on Leo, and Donnie was a sucker for Mikey´s grilled cheese, but he was pretty sure Raph used up all of his tough on teachers and friends during the day, which just left his soft side for his brothers once he got home. Which made sense, seeing as he was the worst morning person Mikey had ever met.
¨fine, fine, i´ll give it a try¨ he groaned, running a hand down the front of his helmet covered face. ¨but you know the guy, it´s not gonna be easy. He´s been wearing his Metallica hoodie for like a month now. I think he sleeps in it¨ he swung his arms out to his sides, trying to emphasize his point.
¨yeah... that might just mysteriously go missing sometime this week¨ she said through muffled laughter, turning the keys in the ignition with a wink in his direction ¨see ya tomorrow, Mike. Tell the guys I sad hi¨ she called out to him as she drove off in a flash, gone as fast as if she´d rode straight into a portal.
He stood there waving until she disappeared round the corner, a sudden shiver reminding him he was wet from head to toe. But it wasn´t as if he could get any wetter, he was already pretty sure it had started sinking into his skin, so he headed toward the door, stopping to jump into each puddle he saw on the way.
Because who wouldn´t?
They had the best puddles in the world, because they had the worst potholes in the world, and if that wasn´t one hell of a bright side, Mikey didn´t know what was.
He and his brothers had lived in that old apartment for just over a year now, and Mikey knew it wasn´t the biggest place or in the safest part of town for that matter, and they had one neighbor who was a tiny old lady who tapped on their door with her walking stick when the TV was too loud and the others were college students who had taken the term ¨social gathering¨ to a whole other level almost every weekend, but it wasn´t all that bad, and moments like this proved it.
Sure the shower could boil a lobster anytime someone flushed the toilet, he had to share a room with a grouchy morning person now and yeah, the kitchen window looked onto a seriously gross alleyway that smelled like a sewer, but it was where his brothers were. And that made it home.
It was easy to pick out the bad things, but none of them ever mattered compared to the good ones. And Mikey secretly liked finding odd things hidden around the house that had been left behind by the previous owners. They were just little things they found under carpets or in the back of closets, that and the occasional mail that got sent there by accident, but to him they were clues.
Up to now he had a pink glitter pen, a Spiderman sock, a pretty cool looking ring that Donnie had said was one of those that changed color with your mood- but he seriously doubted that because it had always been black, and as for mail, every now and then they´d get coupons for dog food and a monthly magazine about make-up that April had claimed as hers and only hers.
He always liked to think there had been a family living there, with a dog and two kids and maybe they had moved on to somewhere nicer, maybe they had taken a step forwards, moved into a house like Splinter´s used to be, with a pool and a garden and maybe the kids each had their own room and things had turned out pretty well for them.
Just maybe.
At least that´s what he liked to think.
¨-ey! Mikey!¨ he heard someone calling his name and that´s when he looked up, squinting through the rain like each drop were a shard of glass, and sure enough he found just the person he was expecting to see staring back at him. ¨what the heck are you doing, you weirdo?!¨ Renet was saying, rushing towards him, not as gracefully as she probably thought she looked, splashing through each puddle in her brown hugs like she was actually trying to get herself soaked.
Rennet was one of the other good things about living here, and right now she was a welcome surprise. She was wearing brown tights and that´s about all he could make out from underneath the cream fitted parker coat she had draped around her. Her bright blue eyes were subtly blending into the rain and all that could be seen of her hair were the short blonde strands falling onto her shoulders from under a woolly orange hat.
She was standing in front of him now, so close that he´d thought she had been going for a hug, but now he realized she was standing slightly on her toes, probably the only person in Mikey´s life that was shorter than him, and holding a teen titans umbrella with a picture of terra on it over both of their heads.
He looked up at it through his visor and then smiled back down at her. ¨I'm more of a beast boy fan, myself¨ he shrugged and she answered with a confused look before glancing up at the umbrella and giving him a playful shove. She did it with about as much ferociousness as a lazy house cat swatting at at fly in the middle of summer, and even though it probably wasn´t quite the effect she had been going for, it made him smile.
¨yeah well, she may have turned out to be kind of a douche, but she had her moments¨ she shrugged, as if it were obvious. ¨now, can we like go inside now or did you miss a puddle?¨ she teased and there was something in her voice that made it sound urgent, like there was something behind her smile that she wasn´t telling him. Maybe it was the way it didn´t quite meet her eyes, or maybe the rain had started sinking into his brain.
Either way, he wasn´t going to pretend like he was good at understanding girls.
¨nah, Don says it´s gonna rain till the end of the week, I can get them tomorrow¨ he told her and she span around, rolling her eyes with a force that made Mikey worry her eyes would get lost back there one day.
¨hey, wait up¨ he called out, plodding on behind her through the puddles and holding the door open for her. She stepped inside, trying to bite back a smile as he bent down a little and stretched out a hand to signal that she enter. ¨you´re such a dork¨ she shook her head at him, and he was starting to think it was just a natural response around him because she was grinning all the way up the stairs, glancing back at him every so often, the smile finally meeting her eyes.
¨what? ¨ He asked, feeling like he had something on his face.
¨you do know you´re still wearing your helmet, right?¨ she asked with a teasing smile, reaching out to tap a tune on the slippery surface of the helmet. He reached up as if to check, soft fingers landing on top of the hard surface.
O
¨ups¨ he untied it with a nervous smile and pulled it off with a continuous. ¨ouch, ouch, ouch¨ until it finally slid off his head. He tucked it under his right arm and ran a hand through his mop of curls now falling in front of his eyes in a messy jumble of blonde.
She let out a hearty laugh, covering her mouth with her hand as If that was somehow supposed to help with how ridiculous he must have looked.
He sent her his most impressive little brother pout before his lips twisted into a playful smirk. ¨oh, yeah?¨ he challenged and he only had a split second to relish in the confused expression on her face before he shook his head, shaking water all over her.
¨okay, okay, I give¨ she smiled, using up what was left of her laugh and she slid off her hat and pulled it over his weaponized hair instead. ¨that´s a pretty good look for you¨
He looked up, as if that were somehow supposed to help him see his new accessory and tucked his ears under it. ¨not bad, I could get used to wearing hats¨ he said, with a satisfied nod.
Silence stretched between them when she didn´t answer, and it wasn´t uncomfortable, or unwelcome, it was just unnatural, and when Mikey turned to look at her, it felt like it was the first time he had seen her that night.
He had a tendency to notice the bad things later.
Her eyes were soft and tired, dark rings beneath them making her look years older than she had any right to, and no matter how calm and collected she was around him, he couldn´t help but wonder if it was taking everything in her just to do it.
He had only known her for a year now, and even though you can find out a hell of a lot about a person in a year, there was always a hell of a lot you could miss too. Knowing about someone has always been easy, it´s like opening a textbook. You can finish each other's sentences and know each other's favorite things all you like but knowing someone was a lot different that knowing about them, and he was starting to realize there´d always be a part of her that would be a complete stranger to him.
He knew she got good grades, that she knew a good TV show from an over-rated one and that sometimes her dad yelled, maybe at the TV, but they could hear him all the way in their apartment, and his brothers would share those awkward looks that he never really understood. Mikey wasn´t sure, she never talked about friends or home life, only school and TV. Most of her was still in hiding from his point of view. From what he wasn´t sure.
She kept glancing down at her watch, and for a girl who was a flight of stairs away from home with nothing to do but some math homework, that was nothing short of sketchy.
¨so how come you walked home today?¨ he had to ask, glancing down at the umbrella tucked beneath her arm and the keys already twisting around her fingers.
¨beats me. I finished pretty early today¨ she shrugged, folding a stray strand of hair behind her ear and then swiping a hand down the back of her head, ironing out her curls where her hat had left them a little tangled. ¨you know, we weren´t really doing anything because we have this new sub for the week¨ she explained. ¨I waited for my dad to pick me up, then when he didn´t show I just figured I'd walk back¨ she had an airy way of saying things that made him think she was used to this kind of thing.
But he didn´t know that. she lived on the floor beneath his and the only time he got to see her was when they´d run into each other getting the mail or down in the laundry room when it was his turn- which was always now because he claimed it as his own personal chore just for that reason.
That and cooking. Putting his brothers and a kitchen together was like dropping Mentos in diet coke. Quite literally explosive.
¨I guess he just forgot or something¨ she said like it didn´t matter and it hurt Mikey a little bit more than she´d probably ever know, because he knew what a good dad was. And Splinter had been a great one.
So he tried to fix things the only way he knew how.
¨you know, we´re having a movie night tonight. popcorn and junk food and I'm not picking the movie, which I'm told is a bonus¨ he gave himself a mental high five when he heard her laugh, soft and fragile and she probably didn´t even know it, but it was the best laugh he´d heard in a while.
¨sounds about right¨ she smiled, coming to a stop and glancing behind her at her door. ¨well, this is my stop¨ she said with a lopsided smile as she grabbed onto her backpack a little tighter. ¨thanks for the invite Mike, but I have a lot of homework I kind of wanna get done. But hey, i´ll take a raincheck?¨
¨first of all, I checked; it´s still raining¨ he held up a finger to illustrate his point, earning himself an eye roll and a little smile. Another finger ¨and second, we´re not gonna start until like eight, plus you said no one´s really doing anything with the new sub. How much trouble are you really going to get into?¨ he made his point, and if it had been one of his brothers or even April or Casey on a good day, his puppy dog eyes would have been out a long time ago.
She shifted her weight a little, glancing back at the door behind her and smiling at him a little forcedly as he dropped his finger chart. There was something unsure on her face, and it was taking over the side of her that laughed with Mikey and told him he was a fashion disaster when his clothes didn´t match, and that he had terrible taste in TV shows and made fun of his culinary concoctions that always seemed to involve cheese.
And he was starting to worry. Just a little.
¨i´ll try to drop by, okay? if I finish¨ she nodded at him, already reaching for the door. Her keys were in the lock and she was letting herself inside before Mikey could even think up an answer.
¨okay, i´ll save you a seat¨ he smiled, a little forced but it was still meant for her.
She smiled back and closed the door behind her, leaving Mikey speechless and utterly confused, the latter not really that surprising. He did had a tendency to push his crazy suspicions, as his brothers called them, to the side and just let himself beleive he was being way too dramatic.
¨Well that was weird¨ he mumbled to himself, spinning around on his heel.
He headed up the stairs, a little quicker now and looked back to see he was getting everything wet, not just a few little droplets here and there, no, it was as if he were dragging a wet mop behind him. Or a hose. or Niagra falls. You get the point. The building really needed like a welcome mat or something at the entrance, like they had, though theirs was in Japanese and went pretty much ignored by what was left of the little Hamato clan. It always had, except for on those rare occasions where Splinter had caught them at the door before they could get away with it. And on days like this that nagging voice at the back of his head telling him not to mess up the floors sounded a lot like his father´s had.
He wasn´t here to do that now, and the mat probably wouldn´t even be here if it hadn´t been his, but other things had stuck, like having to take your shoes off at the door, or making sure the doors were locked at night before they went to sleep, or even replacing the toilet roll paper.
Little things, I guess you could say.
He finally got to his door, 16b, and pulled out his keys, jiggling the rusty old lock with as much force as if it had been an arm wrestle before finally getting inside. He really needed to remember to oil that thing.
First things first, he thought to himself, kicking off his mud-covered shoes and scooping them up, holding them way away from anything clean by the laces and trying to ignore the fact that he was dripping water everywhere. He figured no doormat on earth could withstand or even slightly improve the grossness of those shoes right now anyway.
He kicked the door closed behind him and then freed one of his aching arms, setting his helmet down on the table near the door, tossing his keys into the bowl with a satisfied sigh before heading down the tiny hall, past both of the bedrooms and into the kitchen. He could hear voices from inside and stopped at the door to rearrange his bag a little more comfortably on his shoulders before heading inside.
¨I'm just saying, maybe we should wait until Raph gets home to tell him¨ Leo was saying in that authorizing tone, the one that meant he was still in the midst of convincing you to change your mind, but was still willing to put his foot down if he had to.
¨we don´t know what time Raph´s gonna be back, besides, I really don´t think he´s going to take it that hard, Leo, I mean I know he´s sensitive about that kind of thing, but he´ll understand, he will¨ Donnie, was saying, and it hadn´t sounded like he was finished until Leo spoke up a gain.
¨you don´t know that, besides, we have enough to worry about right now¨ he was saying and there was the faint sound of rustling papers on the other side of the door. But that wasn´t really a surprise, Leo always seemed to be surrounded by papers these days ¨ we´re telling him tonight, I know that, I just… I need a little longer to figure out how to bring it up is all¨
¨I´d say he´d be mad if you kept it from him... but Mikey doesn't get mad, so i´ll say this¨ Donnie paused. ¨he´ll feel left out. He can usually tell when something´s up, you know that. plus, you seem to be overlooking the obvious fault in you plan here¨ another pause. ¨what do you think he´s gonna say when he sees Mr. Whiskers over here?¨
Whiskers?
What?
Now he was seriously confused.
¨we´ll tell him together, Leo. You´ll see, it´ll be like ripping off a Band-Aid, It´ll hurt at first sure, but he´ll get over it sooner than you think, especially when he sees the cat¨
Cat? If that wasn´t his cue to swing open the door he didn´t know what was.
He stepped inside and found his brothers sitting at the kitchen table much like he always did after getting home from school. Donnie had some sort of gadget in front of him that he had probably been tinkering with, tools spread out all over the counter and a sort of burning smell that used to fill the kitchen back before his brothers had been banned from cooking in it, lingering in the air.
Leo, equally as predictable, had that huge blue file of his tucked under his folded arms, papers still scattered around him and his ballpoint pen resting behind his ear for the meantime. They were probably bills or something, boring grown up stuff.
He recoiled a little at the thought. When had Leo become a grown up? He was barely nineteen. But he paid the bills and drove Splinters beaten up old fiat around and had a job. Did that mean he was one?
He´d never been quite as kiddy and playful as the rest of them, I guess he´d never had the chance. Sure he´d get roped into the occasional snowball fight when they´d originally climbed down the fire escape to shovel snow from the front entrance in winter, and yeah, every now and then, when he´d get home from work really late Mikey would creep out into the lounge and find him watching space heroes reruns with a kidlike grin on his face just like he used to. And he´d make them hot cocoa with way too many marshmallows in it and beg him to let him stay up a little longer. he´d always cave when the puppy dog eyes came out, so he guessed he wasn´t a complete grown up yet.
Leo had just always seemed like the one in charge, ever since they had been kids, back when they lived in the orphanage and he´d fight tooth and nail with the lady who arranged the meetings with couples that wanted to be parents, making it clear to her that either they took all four of them or they took a hike.
After that Splinter had come along, and some of the weight had been taken off of his shoulders for a little while, but now it was just the four of them again, and it was back to Leo having to take charge, and Mikey trying to drag him into his goof-off lifestyle, trying to remind him it was still okay to act like a kid. Even if it was only in his spare time. And they all knew Leo´s spare time was rare and precious and always reserved for them.
He made a mental note to take a colorful sharpie to that folder as soon as possible, and snapped himself out of his thoughts and back into the conversation he was dying to be a part of.
¨Mikey, hey-¨ Leo had glanced up to smile at him, but taking a good look at his brother his eyes widened slightly instead in that mother hen way he did when he was probably envisioning his little brother being dragged out of a river and saved from drowning or something. ¨Mikey, you´re soaking¨ he said, pushing his folder to the side and getting up to walk up to him. He grabbed his backpack from him and set it on the table, trying to help Mikey off with his coat. Then something akin to realization flickered through his eyes. ¨please don´t tell me you walked home¨ he looked down at him. ¨you should have just called, you know I finish early on Thursdays.¨
Well there went his plan of getting to the bottom of things.
¨ Leo, Leo, chill out, bro. Mona gave me a ride back. Raph told me to call you but she offered me a ride and I figured you´d be busy¨ he shrugged, shaking out the soaking wet sleeves of his hoodie. ¨where is he, anyway? He didn´t answer my last text¨ he asked ¨and he totally read it!¨ he scrunched his face up, annoyed.
He hated it when people did that.
¨detention¨ Leo answered, with that face that let him know he was highly annoyed but not even the slightest bit surprised. Mikey looked up at him with round eyes, partly curious and partly wishing he´d never asked. Leo just smiled, albeit a little tiredly and went to ruffle his hair, making Mikey realize he had kidnapped Renets hat when he took it off and set it down on the counter for him. ¨ I guess we´ll find out later¨
¨wait, wait, wait Mona gave you a ride home? Like on her bike? ¨ Don asked, a little wide eyed and skeptical at the same time.
He nodded, faking a little shudder as he recalled the memory. ¨bike, rollercoaster, missile launcher¨ he said, his hands going up and down at his sides like he were weighing his options. ¨not really sure anymore¨
That got a little chuckle out of Don and he was probably just about to answer when he caught sight of the mud-covered shoes hanging from Leo´s hand and raised a questionable brow in Mikey's direction, pointing a finger their way.
¨oh, yeah¨ he smiled a little bashfully, taking them back from Leo ¨so what´s the verdict, doc? Can they be salvaged?¨ he questioned, holding them a little higher.
¨I don´t know what kind of doctor you think I'm aspiring to be, Mikey, but even I have my limitations¨ he was saying, a smile tugging at his lips as he grabbed the shoes from him and headed towards the sink. ¨oh, and you should probably take a shower before you catch a cold¨
¨yeah, I second that¨ Leo was saying but before Mikey could respond he was surprised to look down, getting at least one answer to his stack of questions in the form of Mrs. K´s cat rubbing itself against his trouser legs.
Okay, well at least that cleared one thing up.
¨kitty!¨ he beamed, bending down to pick up the fluffy white ball at his feet, bringing it to his chest and stroking it behind the ears. But he looked up to see that his brothers weren´t smiling like he was, they weren´t smiling at all for that matter and he was pretty sure he´d just pieced together the clues.
He had known Mrs. K for a year now, and sure they hadn´t been the closest of neighbours, come to think of it, Mikey was the only one who ever paid her a visit at all. But that wasn´t her fault, you just needed a couple of tricks up you sleeve if you wanted to get along with her. Mikey had never had a grandmother, but if he had he would never had expected her to be anything like Mrs. K. She seemed as if she were tough all the way through to her center, but she gave herself away every now and then, like when she bugged him about taking so much sugar in his tea, or when she´d poke at him with her pointy nails and tell him he was far too skinny.
But she´d been more help to Mikey and his brothers that she´d ever know, or than his brothers would ever know for that matter, but Mikey knew, and he´d told her after every visit, earning himself an eye roll and a warning to stop being such a softie.
When they´d moved in, everyone had given up a piece of themselves in order to piece their family back together. Leo hadn´t finished high school, but he´d worked his butt off and gotten a job in real-estate, with a little help from Mr. Kurtzman, an old friend of Splinters and a hell of a lot of hard work. Raph worked part time at a garage downtown and Don had a Saturday job at a cyber café, where he´d get paid extra for the occasional computer fix-up. And him, he didn´t do a thing. He was fourteen, and Donnie had had enough trouble getting a job at sixteen.
So he had become the maid of the house. He cleaned, he took out the trash, and most importantly and getting back to the point, Mrs. K had taught him how to cook. He´d somehow convinced her to teach him how to whip together a good meal, and with that she had helped make him useful to his brothers.
She had helped make him feel like he brought something to the team.
And right then he was starting to put the pieces together, and he wasn´t so sure he wanted to be right at that moment. ¨guys?¨ he was glancing between the two of them, wondering who would crack first, and his brothers had that sad worried look on their face like they thought Mikey was the one who was hurt.
Leo took a step towards him, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.
¨how about you get showered and changed first, and then we´ll talk? How´s that sound?¨
It sounds like you´re trying to put it off for as long as you possibly can, he couldn´t help but think. If it was taking this long he was pretty sure he already had his answer.
¨she´s dead¨ he dropped his eyes to the ground, not wanting to see the look on his brother´s face, his arms tightening around the purring cat in his arms ¨isn´t she?¨
The room fell into a long silence and this one definitely was the uncomfortable kind.
¨yeah, Mikey. Yeah¨ Leo had that sad look on his face and Mikey really didn´t want to look up and see it staring down at him, aimed at him. ¨I´m really sorry, buddy.¨ he soothed, in a way only Leo knew how and Mikey let go of the cat, setting it down
¨what happened?¨ he asked, and he wouldn´t look up, not now that his eyes were starting to sting with unshed tears. He wouldn´t let them see.
¨nothing happened, Mikey. She was old, she had a long life, these things…¨Donnie paused through his explanation, taking a shaky step forwards. ¨they just happen, Mikey. She just went to sleep, and-¨
And never woke up.
The first traitor tear made it´s way down his cheek and before he could even reach up and wipe it away, Leo was striding forwards, enveloping him in a strong hug, and the arms around him would have felt like a shield if they hadn´t been so gentle. Mikey buried his face in his brother's chest out of habit, and he would have stayed there until he had cried himself dry any other day, but right then he just wanted to get his mind off of things, he needed something to do, so he pulled back, and he tried to smile, he really did, but by the look on his brothers faces he´d say he failed miserably.
¨I think i´ll go take that shower now¨ he said, wiping his eyes with the hem of his sleeve, probably getting himself even wetter if anything. Leo placed a finger under his chin, pulling mikeys gaze back up to land on his. ¨listen, we´re right here if you need anything, got that? you know that, right?¨
He managed a nod and grabbed his things from off of the countertop. headed straight for his and Raph´s shared room, closing the door behind him.
Leaning against the door, he couldn´t help but take in the clear contrast between both sides of the room. It was like an invisible line had been drawn down the middle of it, separating his from Raphs. Raph´s bed was covered with a dark red bedspread, covered in black lightning bolts, whereas Mikey´s was topped with a fuzzy orange blanket, various cartoon-themed throw pillows and a raggedy old duct tape covered teddy bear called chocolate chip, that he´d claimed as his back when they lived at the orphanage.
Then they each had their own wall by their bed covered in posters and photographs. Raph´s side consisted mostly of rock and heavy metal band posters: ACDC, slipknot, and then there was the occasional photo of his brothers and the new addition of a selfie with Mona kissing his cheek, the first photo those two had ever taken together before they were even a thing yet and the surprised look on Raph´s face really was priceless.
Mikey´s side, obviously, was the complete opposite. A messy collage of family photos and the occasional photo with a friend, a jumble of birthday cards he insisted on keeping and cartoon, comic or movie posters.
They had a set of drawers by the window that they shared, but they kept most of their clothes folded up in these labeled plastic boxes they kept under their beds.
Leo hadn´t really thought it through when he had given Raph a room with a fire escape, though, that was for sure. Sure, his hot-headed brother had never exactly been the obedient type, but after master Splinter died he´d lost it completely, he´d go on nightly outings with Casey almost every night, running into his fair share of purple dragons, and coming home with bruises and excuses and the fight that ensured between him and Leo would be so bad, that sometimes he´d find himself needing the fire escape too. He wouldn´t go anywhere, he´d just sit there, looking out across the city and hoping that things would be better when he dare go back inside.
And that´s how Raph found him when he got home that night, sat with his back against the wall, numb to the cold in his drenched hoodie and dripping socks with his knees curled into his chest and head sunk deep in his arms. ¨I thought I'd find you out here¨ his head shot up at his deep voice and his usual steel faced big brother was looking at him wide-eyed, his face scrunched up in a look of worry that really didn´t suit him.
And all Mikey did was fake a smile, grinning up at him, because after all, he´d be fine, he just needed a minute to convince himself.
¨Mikey, you idiot! What do you think you´re doing?¨ he scolded, falling to his knees in front of his brother with an annoyed grunt as he shrugged off his coat, hurriedly draping it over his damp shoulders as if he were some sort of ticking time bomb.
¨nice to see you too, Raph¨ he smirked, pulling the huge coat a little tighter around himself as Raph sat by his side, draping an arm around his shoulder and rubbing his arms as if trying to warm him up. ¨I'm not cold, bro¨ he laughed slightly at his brother's futile attempts. ¨pretty sure I can´t feel my feet anymore though¨ he made a face and wiggled his toes, as if checking they still worked.
Because he wasn´t really all that okay, but at least Raph could still get a smile out of him.
¨you´re white as a sheet, you moron¨ he took Mikey´s hands in his, rubbing them as if he were trying to get a fire started. ¨and you´re freezing. Geez, Mikey, how long have you been out here? Do the guys know?¨
¨you know, Mona´s really softened you up, bro¨ Mikey was laughing now and Raph was taking off his bike gloves and slipping them over Mikey´s hands, his face approaching immediate danger, if his narrowing eyes were anything to go by.
¨watch it¨ he pointed a now bare finger at him ¨i´ll still pummel you¨ but he knew it was all for show so he just shook his head , leaning forwards a bit to rest his chin on his knees.
He didn´t really feel like talking, and that was usually okay with Raph, because he´d sit with you for hours if he had to, but he´d never been much of a talker. But right then he could feel his eyes on the back of his head, and his arm was sort of stiff and unsettled where it rested on his back.
¨the guys told me what happened¨ he was saying, shuffling forwards a little, pulling Mikey against his side when he was sure he felt him start to shiver. ¨you wanna, like… talk about it or something?¨
Smooth, Raph, real smooth.
But he didn´t. not really. Not at all.
So he just curled up a little tighter, uncharacteristically dull eyes focusing on the robot pictures on his socks, making Raph sigh a little.
But what was he supposed to say? There was no one to blame for this, no one he could beat up or scare the crap out of to keep him safe, it was something they had all been through before, and Mikey had been broken hearted over Splinter too, just as must as everyone else had been. But Mikey wasn´t like them. He didn´t let things get to him, he was the optimist, the one that held everyone else up even if he was the youngest, and he could see it now, he could see it because Mikey never looked like this, and the one time he had they had all been too depressed to notice.
And where had Mikey been? He´d been filing documents with Leo, looking up technical terms to do with insurance and house bills that none of them understood, and making Leo laugh when he´d make them both a hot chocolate at twelve o'clock on a Saturday night while they scrolled through list after list of the cities crummiest apartments. He´d find these horrible beaten up places, nothing compared to what they´d had with sensei. No backyard, no basement converted into a dojo, no huge kitchen where Mikey would try out one of his terrible culinary concoctions. But Mikey actually made them sound livable. This place had been on the ´rather live on the street list´ for months, that is until Mikey gathered them together, hand drawn pictures and diagrams showing them how it wouldn´t be so bad, how he had ideas and plans for the place that would make it look totally rad. And most of the ideas were outlandish things like having a pool table in the kitchen instead of a real one and bunk beds and painting the living room bright orange. And through everything he´d made it sound like this new life could be something fun, like it could be an adventure.
And it had been in a way, but then he´d had Raph to deal with, practically waiting up for him icepack in hand for when he'd come home from one of his late nights on the town with Casey, looking like something that comes out of the back end of a lawnmower. And he´d sat through countless arguments between him and Leo, dealing with the fallout that continued and lasted for what felt like a lifetime, never choosing sides and never leaving the room, even though he knew he wanted to.
And then there was Donnie, who got himself a job not long after Leo had. After that he´d lock himself in his room for hours, reading and tinkering with his little tasks and inventions. And it was up to Mikey to drag him out, basically force him to partake in society.
And he´d done it all with a smile. Even though he was a little bit broken too. Even though it hurt him just as much.
And now Raph felt useless, because he knew that Mikey would go back inside in his own time and plaster on a smile, and he´d move on with his life because he was stronger than any of them would ever know. But he didn´t want it to be like that. He wanted to make it better. And he couldn't go through life only being able to help out when he could fix things by giving the bad guy a good punch in the unmentionables.
¨I know you liked her, buddy. She was one of the good ones. And she had one hell of a soft spot for ya, that´s for sure¨ Raph smiled fondly when he turned his head to look at him, his cheek pressed against his knee, and he took it as a sign to continue.
¨well, I mean sure, we didn´t really know her like you did, but I talked to her once. She bullied me inta´ carrying her bags up the stairs. Seemed like my kind a lady, not a big talker, ya know¨ he gave Mikey a shrug with a smirk on his face. ¨but she told me you were a good kid, and that I just needed to toughen you up a bit¨ he grinned, quite pleased with the unsurprised smile covering Mikey´s face now.
¨cause, you know, ya did go to her to for cooking lessons, bro. way to man up¨ he added, just for the reaction, which was a jab in the ribs and muffled laughter.
¨I don´t hear you complaining around dinner time¨ he argued, sliding his arms through Raph´s enormous jacket, flapping the way too long sleeves all over the place like a baby bird. ¨and how exactly is that supposed to cheer me up?¨ he pouted, trying to roll back his sleeves.
¨it´s not¨ he shrugged, nonchalantly, leaning back against the wall behind him with folded arms and a pleased look on his face. ¨I just thought it was funny¨ his smirk grew a little wider when Mikey rolled his eyes. ¨but it does tell me that she probably wouldn´t be too impressed to see you looking like this. Especially not over her¨ he added, something knowing and calm in his voice, like he knew that´s all that Mikey really needed to hear.
And it was. Mrs. K would probably be giving him a not too soft tap on the shin with her walking stick and telling him not to act like such a girl if she were here right now, so instead he smiled and scooted back towards the wall Raph was leant against, his arm coming up over his shoulder almost like an instinct.
¨thanks, bro¨ he smiled, stretching out his legs on the fire escape, finally starting to feel the cold, and as a shiver went down his spine and he curled them back up to his chest with chattering teeth.
¨anytime¨ he shrugged like it hadn´t happened, as per usual and gave him a little pat on the back. ¨now that that´s over, you think we can go back inside now? You know, before you turn blue and I have to call the doctor on ya¨ he threatened playfully, but a Doctor Donnie was no joke. That guy seriously needed to take his own advice and take a chill pill every now and then.
¨sure, but you´ve gotta do me a favor first¨ he challenged sensing a moment of debility in his usually tough as shell bro and taking advantage. you know, because little brothers can get away with that sort of thing.
¨name it¨ he said, eyebrows shooting up a little in surprise, but he tucked his hand into his jeans pockets, listening.
¨you have to wear a suit to Mona´s art expo thingy on Friday¨ he grinned, ear to ear at the shocked expression on his older brother's betrayed face.
¨you little traitor¨ there was a glint on humor in his little brothers eyes right before he burst out laughing, catching him by surprise when Raph grabbed him in a headlock, rolling his knuckles through damp blonde curls while Mikey tried to stop laughing, struggling in his grasp.
¨hey, I'm an opportunist, bro, ya can´t hate me for that¨ he was saying, ripping out of his iron grip and ironing out his curls, his hair now draping over his eyes like an overgrown fringe. ¨deal?¨
Raph rolled his eyes, fighting back a smile as he swept Mikey´s hair out of his face with a single stroke of his hand. ¨yeah, yeah, whatever, ya little twotimer. Shoulda known she´d bring out the big guns on this one¨ he pushed himself to his feet, holding out a hand to hoist him up to his feet. ¨but no way am I wearing a tie¨
¨sounds good to me, bro. I'm totally wearing my blazer though. That thing looks awesome. You know the one with the orange buttons? The one Leo-¨ he started to rant as Raph pushed him inside.
¨yeah, yeah, you have like one blazer, Mikey. And all your clothes are orange¨ he rolled his eyes, biting back a smile as he hopped inside, sliding the window closed behind them.
¨That´s because orange is awesome, bro¨