A/N - This was written for the Hook a Duck game at the Hogwarts Fair on HPFC. I had to write about someone explaining the function of a Muggle invention to Arthur and use the word Muggle at least six times. My additional prompts were dizzy, Ipovlopsychophobia (the fear of being photographed) and the song Fever by The Black Keys. Enjoy!
Arthur loved visiting Hermione's parents. Her father, Richard, never seemed to tire of explaining different Muggle contraptions to Arthur and he had finally learned the purpose of a rubber duck. A children's toy for the bath of all things! Tonight, Richard had promised to show Arthur how his complutaler worked. Or at least that's what Arthur thought it was called.
"Now Arthur, don't monopolize Richard all evening making him explain Muggle things to you," Molly admonished on their drive over. Hermione and Ron had purchased a car, a regular car, not a magically enhanced one like Arthur's Anglia, and Ron had gotten quite good at driving it.
"Dad doesn't mind," Hermione said from the backseat where she sat next to Molly. "He likes hearing about magical things just as much."
"Richard is going to explain the complutaler to me this evening," Arthur informed his wife. Hermione stifled a giggle.
"That's 'computer', Arthur," she said kindly.
"Are you sure?" he asked in confusion. "I could have sworn there was an 'l' in there somewhere."
"Quite sure," Hermione replied with a smile.
"Dad, who grew up in a Muggle house?" Ron said in exasperation. "I'm sure Hermione knows a bit more about that stuff than you do."
"Of course, of course," Arthur agreed as they pulled into the drive. Both Ron and Arthur got out of the car and then moved to the back and opened the doors for their wives. Arthur and Molly followed Ron into the house.
"Mum, Dad, we're here!" Hermione called. Greetings were exchanged and drinks were served. Everyone talked amicably until Hermione's mother, Jean, put dinner on the table.
After pudding, Arthur and Richard were chased from the kitchen where Molly and Jean were cleaning up. Hermione and Ron were sitting on the couch looking through old photo albums. No matter how many times he had seen them, it still surprised Arthur that the photographs didn't move.
Richard handed Arthur a glass of scotch before sitting down at the desk in his study and powering up his computer. Arthur asked many questions about all of the cords that came out of the back of the Muggle machine and even got down on his hands and knees to look at all the plugs under the desk. They were all plugged in to one long device that Richard called a 'power strip'. It was fascinating.
Once he had come out from under the desk, Arthur conjured a second chair and sat down next to Richard as he explained the various parts of the machine. There was a 'monitor' which was the screen where the words and pictures appeared and a keyboard where you could type things that would appear on the screen. And then the mouse, which, Arthur was surprised to find, was not an actual mouse at all, but a small oval shaped object. Richard explained that it was the cord that came off the back and looked like a tail that gave it its name. If you moved the mouse around an arrow on the screen moved in the same direction and allowed you to point at things. You then 'clicked' on what you wanted with a button on top of the mouse.
"We have an email address," Richard explained. "It's like post that comes into the computer." Arthur's brow furrowed trying to figure out how the postman would get the mail inside the computer in order for it to be read. Perhaps it went in the slot on the other piece that Richard had shown him, the tower Arthur thought he had called it. Still he wasn't sure why the post needed to be put into the computer before they could read it. He asked Richard as much.
"No, it's not regular post," Richard explained patiently. "It's a special kind of electronic post that just comes over the computer. Anyone that has an email address can send it to us."
"Where does it come from?" Arthur asked.
"Another computer," Richard replied. "For example, my brother can type up a note on his computer and then send it to me. It travels through cyberspace and shows up in my computer. He doesn't physically send me anything." Arthur nodded although he was still quite confused.
"Here, let me show you the internet," Richard continued. He clicked a few buttons and then Arthur heard a strange noise.
"That means it's trying to connect," Richard explained. "We still have a dial-up connection that works through the telephone line, but we're discussing upgrading to a DSL connection. That works through underground cables." Arthur simply nodded, having no idea what Richard was talking about. Finally, something that said "Yahoo!" popped up on the screen.
"This is my home page," Richard said. "From here I can get all kinds of information or if I know the name of the website I want to go to, I can type it up in this box here and the computer will take me there." Arthur just stared.
"What's a website?" he asked. Richard spent the next hour explaining websites and the internet. Most of what Richard was saying went over Arthur's head, but the more Richard showed him, the more excited Arthur became. Some of the websites they visited made him dizzy. Their backgrounds were a series of repeating tiles that nearly gave him a headache. Thankfully, those were few and most of them had gray or white backgrounds with blue script.
Each underlined word led him to a different place. Muggles even did their shopping on some of the websites and whatever they bought was mailed to them through the post. Not the electronic post, the regular post. Richard had to explain again that the slot on the tower had absolutely nothing to do with the post. There were even games that you could play! Richard showed Arthur solitaire, a card game that was nothing like Exploding Snap.
"Arthur," Molly called as she came into the room. "We need to be going." Arthur looked up and was surprised to see that it was nearly nine o'clock.
"All right dear," he said absently, having a hard time pulling his eyes away from the screen where he was currently watching a news reporter discussing the upcoming Muggle Olympics, a worldwide sporting event that would be held in Australia.
"Anytime you'd like to come by and use the computer again, feel free to," Richard said amiably as he rose from his chair. Arthur reluctantly followed suit, still glancing back at the screen.
"Arthur," Molly said again, somewhat sharper.
"Yes, coming," he said, finally tearing his eyes away from the screen and following his wife.
"And did you know that there are people that are afraid to have their photograph taken?" Arthur told Molly a few weeks later while they ate dinner. "It's called Ipovlopsychophobia." Molly looked at him curiously.
"What a strange name," she said. Arthur nodded. "Why are they afraid of a photograph?"
"Well, for some it's a religious belief," Arthur explained. "They think that a likeness of themselves will steal their soul."
"Like a Dementor?" she asked, her brow furrowed.
"Similar yes," he said. "For others, it's just an irrational fear. Kind of like Ron and his fear of spiders."
"Well that's not irrational," Molly defended her son. "Don't you remember what the twins did to him when he was just a little boy? Of course he's frightened." Arthur smiled fondly at the memory, his heart clenching at the thought of his lost son. Molly seemed to feel the same, for she looked down at her plate. Arthur took her hand and decided to change the subject.
"It's fascinating, the things they've invented without magic," he continued. "Muggles also have something called tanks. Their army uses them."
"Are they in a war?" Molly asked fearfully.
"No, they keep an army at all times, just in case," Arthur explained. Molly shook her head.
"I certainly hope you aren't bothering the Grangers, Arthur," she said.
"Richard told me to stop by any time," Arthur replied defensively.
"Well, I'm sure he was just being polite," Molly said. "You shouldn't impose so often."
"But I'm learning so much," he said. "If I read things on the internet, I won't need to bother Richard or Hermione or Harry so often to explain them to me. I think I can even figure out how to fix that toaster that I have out in my shed." Molly just shook her head and rolled her eyes.
A few weeks later, Molly sat alone at the dinner table waiting for Arthur to get home. She looked at her clock, but Arthur's hand wasn't pointing to work where he should have been, but on travelling, where it had been for the last few hours. She had noticed it happening more and more lately. Since it only took him a few moments to travel between work and home, he was obviously somewhere else. And Molly had a strong suspicion she knew just where he was. She rose with a sigh and walked outside, apparating to the Granger's back garden.
"I'm sorry to bother you," Molly said to Jean as the other woman opened the door and let her in. "Is Arthur here?"
"Yes," Jean said with an understanding smile. "He really seems to enjoy the computer." Molly huffed in annoyance and followed Hermione's mother down the hall to the study. Arthur was studying something quite intently. Jean cleared her throat and he looked up.
"Molly," he said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
"It's past dinner, Arthur," Molly said her temper barely in check. "I was worried."
"Merlin, is it really?" he asked, glancing up at the clock on the wall. "I'm sorry."
"Yes, well, we should be going," Molly replied. Arthur did something with the computer and stood up, following his wife from the room.
"I'm sorry again," Molly said.
"It's quite all right," Jean said with a smile and opened the door to the garden so they could disapparate.
"Arthur Weasley," Molly hissed as soon as they'd appeared in front of the Burrow. "Did you sneak out of work early to go and play on that computer?"
"N-no," Arthur said cautiously. Molly crossed her arms in front of her and glared at him. He swore in his head. The clock. "Well, yes, but only because I had a light day today."
"Arthur, you've got to stop this," Molly insisted. "You're not a Muggle."
"I know that Molly," Arthur said affronted. "I'm just trying to," but Molly cut him off.
"No, Arthur," she said. "I put up with your shed and your tinkering and your continual questioning of Hermione and Harry about all kinds of things, but this time you've gone too far. You missed work and I know this isn't the first time it's happened." Arthur opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. His ears reddened just as Ron's did when he was caught at something.
"How often?" Molly demanded.
"Not often," Arthur said quietly. Molly's eyes narrowed. He sighed. "Every day this week."
"Every day?" Molly repeated incredulously. "You've been bothering the Grangers every day?"
"Well, Richard told me I could come over while they were at work," Arthur said sheepishly. Molly gaped at him. "I can't help it. There's just so much to learn."
"You've got to stop this Arthur, it's becoming a sickness," Molly said.
"But you don't understand," Arthur began, but Molly interrupted once again.
"No, I mean it," she instructed. "I know that Muggles interest you, but you're letting it take over your life. You'll be lucky to have a job to go back to if you keep this up." Arthur looked at her and knew she was right, but he wasn't sure how to stop. He felt like he'd been taken over by something, some kind of fever that made him go there every day.
"Please Arthur," Molly said, stepping closer to him. "You're a wizard, not a Muggle." He wrapped his arms around her.
"You're right," he said. "Of course you're right." He wasn't sure just how he was going to do it, but he would do anything for his Mollywobbles. And maybe Hermione had gotten somewhere with the charm she was trying to develop so magic wouldn't interfere with Muggle electronics.