Alright, I think after four rounds, I've finally beaten this thing into submission. There's still not quite as much spark as I'd like, but it seems I'm all sparkled out.

This short story could be seen as a companion-piece to "Jazz is a Bitch", but both can totally stand alone.

Unlike the Team, the mistakes are all mine.


Frankie leaned against the food-wagon, sipping on a cup-a-joe and holding a glaced donut. For him today was a boring day. Nothing much to do really, but the food was good and - more importantly - it was for free.

He wasn't a freeloader on principle, but neither was he overly rich. Plus, going into work, even when he didn't have anything to do, made him look as if he had his life under control. What with regular work hours and such.

He chuckled softly to himself. Control, yeah totally.

The downside of being here was his Dad's ever pestering question: "What movie-star have you met today?" He just didn't get the difference between A and D in movies. After two years of that question Frankie was close to just making up names. His father wouldn't know, he wasn't exactly up to speed with Hollywood gossip. But the neighbours would know, and his father would tell them, because he always bragged about his son who worked in Hollywood.

"Little help?" A muffled voice came through a thick layer of rubber-head.

Frankie put his coffee and donut aside. "Hey, Johnny, break?" he asked, as he already undid the head and pulled it off.

"Break, mishap... what's the ultimate difference, as long as it gets me a hot cup of coffee?"

Frankie grinned. "Mishap?"

"Something or other happened to the water-tank. Can't go on, until it's fixed."

"Something or other?" Frankie insisted, his grin never faltering.

"I told them, it's too small. They wouldn't listen." He grinned mischieveously. "So I proved it." He accepted a big cup of coffee with a straw in it. Holding and maneouvering a cup with Aquaman-goves on has proven impractical in the past.

"Wouldn't it be easier to just take those off?" Frankie asked with a glance at said gloves.

Johnny shook his head. "They help me stay in character."

Frankie shook his head and sipped his own coffee. "You really should switch to more serious acting", he said earnestly. He knew Johnny didn't like the idea much, but the man's devotion, if not talent, was totally wasted in a rubber monster suit.

"Frankie..."

"I know, I know. But really, is that how you wanna go down in Hollywood history? As the guy who played the most D-movie monsters?"

"And why not? As long as I'm the best at something..."

"Well, not me. I'm gonna work A-rate one day. This... This is just to start me out, you know, give me the opportunity to learn the basics."

Johnny sucked on his straw a bit. "You're going at it the wrong way," he then said.

"What? I wanna know..."

"A-rate works differently than D-rate", Johnny interrupted. "If it didn't there'd be no A or D or any other letter of the alphabet."

"Like the A-Team is the A-Team, not the D-Team?"

Johnny got some cofffee down the wrong way. "The what?"

"Yeah, couple of guys have been talking about it. There are rumours that big producers are planning on turning the story into a movie. - You've heard of the A-Team, haven't you? They've been in the papers a bit lately."

Johnny frowned, but then his features evened out. "Right, yeah. Something strikes a chord there, far back in my mind."

"You gotta admit, it would make a good movie. I mean, it has all the ingredients: action, drama, a touch of heroism..."

"Touch of?"

Frankie nodded. "They were convicted of some crime, I forgot what, nothing violent though. Then they escaped and now they're doing good work for the helpless. You got to admit, it's one hell of a story. If they don't mess it up with the writing..."

"But they are felons. That's bound to put a few spots on the otherwise white west."

Frankie waved it off. "That's easily fixed in writing. All you have to do is claim, that the conviction was unjust, they were tricked or something. Or the judge was out to get them, a personal vendetta or something." Frankie could almost see it play out in front of his inner eye.

Johnny laughed softly to himself.

"What?" Frankie complained.

Now Johnny was the one to wave it off. He ordered another coffee, and for a while they stood side by side, enjoying their beverages.

"You know what we should do once this comes to fruition? We should try and get hired for that movie. I bet there's a lot to do for an explosives expert like me."

"And what do you suggest I do? Play the imaginary fairy-queen that makes it all come together in a happy end?"

Frankie shook his head. "You could go and audition for one of the Team."

Johnny laughed. "Sure thing, Frank. I'll go and audition for the leader of the Team."

"And why not? Hey, you even fit the general description of the real team leader."

"I do?" Johnny looked intrigued now.

"Mid fifties, physically fit, none too shabby looks."

"Is that it?" Johnny asked after a beat of silence. "Not much of a description. No wonder, they don't catch him. That description fits me and couple thousand other guys."

Frankie squirmed a bit under that truth. "That's a fair point, I guess."

"And also, you're forgetting this is Hollywood we're talking about. They don't care about what's the truth. They'll hire some young hot shot who can flex his muscles at the camera and has a perfect smile with perfect teeth, and his hair is blow-dried just like that and..."

"Another fair point", Frankie conceded.

"Yeah, I'm full of them today."

"If anything, you're full of it, man." Frankie grinned challengingly.

"That too", Johnny answered sincerely.

Another coffee for Johnny. Frankie started to suspect that he had damaged the water tank, because the water in there was freezing cold, and they wouldn't grant him a break to warm up. Johnny was not beyond that.

"But still, wouldn't it be great?" Frankie asked dreamily. "Us working together on an A-movie? You as the teamleader, me as the guy who does all the explosions and bullets. You gotta admit it, that would be fun."

But Johnny only looked at him sideways.

"Hey, you yourself told me, not five minutes ago, that if I want to work in A-movies, I should get hired for an A-movie."

"That's right. But me? I'm quite happy where I am, thank you. I hold a torch for the little guys, the underdogs. I believe, I can make a difference for D-movie monsters. They are underapprciated, ridiculed and just generally not taken seriously. Somebody has to do something about that."

Frankie thought, that that would qualifiy Johnny even more for the part. He already had the same attitude as this A-Team must have.

"Just do me a favour," Johnny continued, "if you want to start working A-movies, don't start with this one."

"Why not? It's a great movie for F/X. All those bullets, exploding cars..."

"Do you have any idea how often cars actually catch fire, not to speak of blow up?"

"Well, not more than once, I imagine."

Johnny grinned. "Right. But car's don't generally blow up. They just die on you."

"Not if you shoot at them."

"Have you ever shot at a car?"

"No, but neither have you. - I mean, you haven't, right?"

"Why would I? I don't have anything against cars."

"Right. Never mind what really happens, cars do blow up in movies."

Johnny actually halted in his move for a beat. "You got a point there. Still, I figure it's awfully boring. Bullet-holes in furniture. There's no pride in that, Frankie."

"Johnny?!" An irate looking assistant to an assistant to somebody looking rather unimportant came rushing towards the food truck.

"Coffee break's over, I imagine," Johnny sighed and quickly downed the last of his coffee.

"Just think about it," Frankie insisted. "Me and you, A-movies!"

"Sure. Now fix my head. Quickly, before he comes any closer. I love it when he thinks he stares me in the eyes when he actually talks to my nose."


END