The Lords of the Caffine: The Two Sodas
By Caroline Jordan
Summary: Sequel to The Lords of the Caffeine: The Fellowship of the Morons. You throw the whole Fellowship and some junior high kids in a house...what sort of insanity will occur?
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR. If I did, why would I be writing here? These kids are once again, me and my friends.
Chapter 1- There's Something in the Basement Again!
Ahh, the House of Insanity. A peaceful, quiet house with very loving and caring people within its walls.
"DAJOTRE! SHUT UP!!!"
"Leave me alone, Kitt!"
"What did you call me, Aragorn?!"
"Watch your language, Gimli!"
"GAAAAANDAAAALF!"
"Enough!" Gandalf roared.
Everyone froze where they were. It was quite interesting to see how long Ben could remain with that lamp held inches above Peter's head.
"Now that I have your attention, we're going to have to reorganize things," Gandalf said. "Since we have a new member of the "family," we will have to arrange the rooms again."
Unfortuneatly, three people had to be in different rooms other than the bedrooms. By a unanimous vote, Daj was thrown into the basement. Gimli was forced to take the living room couch, being the shortest one there. And so, the rooms were as follows:
Room 1: Lisa, Brittney, Stephanie, Tippy
Room 2: Tracy, Kitt, Ashley, Arwen, Eowyn (extra cot moved in! Joy! Excitement!...I'm done!)
Room 3: Legolas, Aragorn, Peter, Pippin
Room 4: Gandalf, Boromir, Faramir, Ben
Room 5: Frodo, Sam, Merry, Bryan
(Geez! That was boring! Moving right along...)
Angered at being betrayed by his fellow comrades, Dajotre stormed into the basement and slammed the door behind him, causing the house to shake a little.
"Best friends," Daj grumbled. "Pfh! Some friends they were! Throwing me into the basement. Me! Of all people! You dare insult teh great Daj?!"
Daj turned on the solitary lightbulb hanging from the ceiling and lay back on his cot. Suddenly, something in the distance fell. Dajotre jumped up.
"Who's there?!" he demanded.
When there was no reply, he shrugged and lay back again. But just then, something else fell.
"All right! Who's there?!" Dajotre yelled.
Silence...
"Peter!" Dajotre shouted, getting up. "Is that you? Okay, Peter. It's not funny, you hear? Peter?...Bryan?....Ben?"
He slowly walked into the darker part of the basement.
"Ummm...guys!" he called. "There's something in the basement again!"
When no one came to his aid, Dajotre "fearlessly" kept walking. A dark shadow lurked among the others. His eyes widened.
"I don't believe it!" he gasped. "It's...it's!"
Five days later, Tracy came downstairs at about 10:45 A.M.: her wake-up call. Peter and Bryan were gambling with Mountain Dew in the kitchen, and Tracy sat down with her breakfast.
"Where's Daj?" she asked.
They both shrugged. Kitt came in just then as well.
"Kitt," Tracy said. "Have you seen Dajotre?"
"I was just going to ask you the same thing," Kitt replied. "I've been sending him food via Ben's new invention."
Bryan looked up. "Invention?"
"He tied a basket to a rope, genius," Kitt answered. "Calm yourself."
Peter got up and opened the door to the basement. He started to walk downstairs and called, "Daj! Dajotre!"
"What?!" a voice shouted back.
Peter sighed. At least he was alive.
"What are you doing?" Peter asked.
"Nothing," Daj said. "Just talking with Morgoth."
Peter nodded. "Oh. Okay."
He turned around and came back upstairs and into the kitchen.
"What was that all about?" Tracy asked.
"Oh, he's just talking with Morgoth," Peter shrugged.
He paused. "....Wait."
"MORGOTH?!!!" the four kids screamed.
Legolas, Aragorn and Gandalf came rushing downstairs.
"Where's Morgoth?" Gandalf demanded.
"In the basement!" Bryan told him.
Aragorn drew his sword. "All right! Let me at him!"
Brittney held him back. "Whoa! Hold up, ugly man! I think Lady Lisa over there wouldn't want you to die."
"Did you just call him ugly man?!" Lisa yelled.
"You think I would die?" Aragorn asked.
"Did I stutter, genius?" Brittney asked. "Of couse I do!"
Stephanie came over. "Morgoth's in our basement?"
"Cool!" Ashley shouted.
"No, Ashley," Steph said. "Morgoth's a bad thing..."
Ashley stopped dancing. "Oh.....I knew that."
"Now what do we do?" Legolas asked.
"Well, we can't fight him without destroying the house," Pippin pointed out.
"Good job, Pip!" Merry applauded.
"We'll need something to distract him," Gandalf said.
"A diversion," Legolas said.
"Once again," Tracy turned to him. "Thank you, Captain Obvious!"
Legolas glared at her. "You're welcome...."
So it was then that the kids and Fellowship teamed up to distract Morgoth. They called it "Get Morgoth or Die Trying Plan #873.59932."
Plan A: Scare Morgoth away with not evil, cute stuff
Ben came over with a basket full of stuffed animals. "Well, it wasn't easy, but I finally got all the stuffed animals from Ephrium's room." (Ephrium= the youngest of the eight boys in Ben's family...seriously!)
They threw the animals down the stairs and into the basement.
"Hey! Look, Morgoth!" a voice from downstairs said. "Stuffed animals! Aren't they cute?! Let's go outside and burn them!"
The others glared at Ben.
"What?!" Ben yelled. "It was a good idea!"
"Plan B!" Merry called.
Plan B: Live bait
After voting, Ben was dismayed to find out that after the stuffed animals fiasco, he was live bait. The others ushered him downstairs and braced the door in case he decided to come back.
"Ummm...M-Morgoth?" Ben stuttered.
The dark figure turned to poor Ben.
"I-I just wanted to...t-to tell you that....Sauron's better than you!" Ben braced himself for the attack.
Back upstairs, his scream echoed through the whole house.
"How was that supposed to help?" Stephanie asked.
"It wasn't," Tippy replied. "It was but revenge."
But of course, Morgoth didn't really kill Ben.
"WHAT?!" the others yelled.
'Tis but a merry jest.
"Grr...." Boromir grumbled. "Plan C!"
Plan C: Call the police
Stephanie picked up the phone and began to dial the police.
"Police, how can I help you?" a man's voice asked.
"We have a wanted criminal in our basement," Steph replied.
"His name?" the man answered.
"Morgoth."
"...I'm sorry?"
"Morgoth."
"What?"
"Mooooor-goooooth!"
The man on the other end started laughing hystarically.
"Jim! Jim!" he laughed. "They said they've got Morgoth in their basement!"
This time, it sounded like seven other people were laughing too. Stephanie slammed the phone down in anger.
"Plan D!" she yelled.
Plan D: Bribery
Bryan came over. "I know how to get him out."
"How?" Brittney asked.
"My good friend Mr. Lincoln can help," Bryan grinned.
"You're going to bribe Morgoth with a five?!" Tippy said.
Bryan looked confused. "Nooo. A penny!"
Needless to say, Plan D was quickly a failure.
"Anymore ideas, genius?" Gimli sighed.
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking," Gandalf mumbled.
"I say we just run downstairs and get him!" Aragorn said.
"Hold up, ugly man!" Brittney said. "You're not goin' anywhere."
"Would you stop calling me that?!" Aragorn yelled.
Just then, the door to the basement opened. The dark figure slowly emerged and began to walk through the living room. The others were silent and confused, watching the Dark Master walk out the door.
"Where's he going?" Peter asked.
"Morgoth and I had an arguement," Dajotre explained. "Apparently, my intelligence was no match for him."
Someone coughed and Daj menacingly looked for the culprit, but no one was different from the others.
(Next Chapter: The Interwebnet START VOTING AGAIN FOR YOUR FAVORITE KID BECAUSE ALL VOTES HAVE NOW BEEN SET TO ZERO!)
By Caroline Jordan
Summary: Sequel to The Lords of the Caffeine: The Fellowship of the Morons. You throw the whole Fellowship and some junior high kids in a house...what sort of insanity will occur?
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR. If I did, why would I be writing here? These kids are once again, me and my friends.
Chapter 1- There's Something in the Basement Again!
Ahh, the House of Insanity. A peaceful, quiet house with very loving and caring people within its walls.
"DAJOTRE! SHUT UP!!!"
"Leave me alone, Kitt!"
"What did you call me, Aragorn?!"
"Watch your language, Gimli!"
"GAAAAANDAAAALF!"
"Enough!" Gandalf roared.
Everyone froze where they were. It was quite interesting to see how long Ben could remain with that lamp held inches above Peter's head.
"Now that I have your attention, we're going to have to reorganize things," Gandalf said. "Since we have a new member of the "family," we will have to arrange the rooms again."
Unfortuneatly, three people had to be in different rooms other than the bedrooms. By a unanimous vote, Daj was thrown into the basement. Gimli was forced to take the living room couch, being the shortest one there. And so, the rooms were as follows:
Room 1: Lisa, Brittney, Stephanie, Tippy
Room 2: Tracy, Kitt, Ashley, Arwen, Eowyn (extra cot moved in! Joy! Excitement!...I'm done!)
Room 3: Legolas, Aragorn, Peter, Pippin
Room 4: Gandalf, Boromir, Faramir, Ben
Room 5: Frodo, Sam, Merry, Bryan
(Geez! That was boring! Moving right along...)
Angered at being betrayed by his fellow comrades, Dajotre stormed into the basement and slammed the door behind him, causing the house to shake a little.
"Best friends," Daj grumbled. "Pfh! Some friends they were! Throwing me into the basement. Me! Of all people! You dare insult teh great Daj?!"
Daj turned on the solitary lightbulb hanging from the ceiling and lay back on his cot. Suddenly, something in the distance fell. Dajotre jumped up.
"Who's there?!" he demanded.
When there was no reply, he shrugged and lay back again. But just then, something else fell.
"All right! Who's there?!" Dajotre yelled.
Silence...
"Peter!" Dajotre shouted, getting up. "Is that you? Okay, Peter. It's not funny, you hear? Peter?...Bryan?....Ben?"
He slowly walked into the darker part of the basement.
"Ummm...guys!" he called. "There's something in the basement again!"
When no one came to his aid, Dajotre "fearlessly" kept walking. A dark shadow lurked among the others. His eyes widened.
"I don't believe it!" he gasped. "It's...it's!"
Five days later, Tracy came downstairs at about 10:45 A.M.: her wake-up call. Peter and Bryan were gambling with Mountain Dew in the kitchen, and Tracy sat down with her breakfast.
"Where's Daj?" she asked.
They both shrugged. Kitt came in just then as well.
"Kitt," Tracy said. "Have you seen Dajotre?"
"I was just going to ask you the same thing," Kitt replied. "I've been sending him food via Ben's new invention."
Bryan looked up. "Invention?"
"He tied a basket to a rope, genius," Kitt answered. "Calm yourself."
Peter got up and opened the door to the basement. He started to walk downstairs and called, "Daj! Dajotre!"
"What?!" a voice shouted back.
Peter sighed. At least he was alive.
"What are you doing?" Peter asked.
"Nothing," Daj said. "Just talking with Morgoth."
Peter nodded. "Oh. Okay."
He turned around and came back upstairs and into the kitchen.
"What was that all about?" Tracy asked.
"Oh, he's just talking with Morgoth," Peter shrugged.
He paused. "....Wait."
"MORGOTH?!!!" the four kids screamed.
Legolas, Aragorn and Gandalf came rushing downstairs.
"Where's Morgoth?" Gandalf demanded.
"In the basement!" Bryan told him.
Aragorn drew his sword. "All right! Let me at him!"
Brittney held him back. "Whoa! Hold up, ugly man! I think Lady Lisa over there wouldn't want you to die."
"Did you just call him ugly man?!" Lisa yelled.
"You think I would die?" Aragorn asked.
"Did I stutter, genius?" Brittney asked. "Of couse I do!"
Stephanie came over. "Morgoth's in our basement?"
"Cool!" Ashley shouted.
"No, Ashley," Steph said. "Morgoth's a bad thing..."
Ashley stopped dancing. "Oh.....I knew that."
"Now what do we do?" Legolas asked.
"Well, we can't fight him without destroying the house," Pippin pointed out.
"Good job, Pip!" Merry applauded.
"We'll need something to distract him," Gandalf said.
"A diversion," Legolas said.
"Once again," Tracy turned to him. "Thank you, Captain Obvious!"
Legolas glared at her. "You're welcome...."
So it was then that the kids and Fellowship teamed up to distract Morgoth. They called it "Get Morgoth or Die Trying Plan #873.59932."
Plan A: Scare Morgoth away with not evil, cute stuff
Ben came over with a basket full of stuffed animals. "Well, it wasn't easy, but I finally got all the stuffed animals from Ephrium's room." (Ephrium= the youngest of the eight boys in Ben's family...seriously!)
They threw the animals down the stairs and into the basement.
"Hey! Look, Morgoth!" a voice from downstairs said. "Stuffed animals! Aren't they cute?! Let's go outside and burn them!"
The others glared at Ben.
"What?!" Ben yelled. "It was a good idea!"
"Plan B!" Merry called.
Plan B: Live bait
After voting, Ben was dismayed to find out that after the stuffed animals fiasco, he was live bait. The others ushered him downstairs and braced the door in case he decided to come back.
"Ummm...M-Morgoth?" Ben stuttered.
The dark figure turned to poor Ben.
"I-I just wanted to...t-to tell you that....Sauron's better than you!" Ben braced himself for the attack.
Back upstairs, his scream echoed through the whole house.
"How was that supposed to help?" Stephanie asked.
"It wasn't," Tippy replied. "It was but revenge."
But of course, Morgoth didn't really kill Ben.
"WHAT?!" the others yelled.
'Tis but a merry jest.
"Grr...." Boromir grumbled. "Plan C!"
Plan C: Call the police
Stephanie picked up the phone and began to dial the police.
"Police, how can I help you?" a man's voice asked.
"We have a wanted criminal in our basement," Steph replied.
"His name?" the man answered.
"Morgoth."
"...I'm sorry?"
"Morgoth."
"What?"
"Mooooor-goooooth!"
The man on the other end started laughing hystarically.
"Jim! Jim!" he laughed. "They said they've got Morgoth in their basement!"
This time, it sounded like seven other people were laughing too. Stephanie slammed the phone down in anger.
"Plan D!" she yelled.
Plan D: Bribery
Bryan came over. "I know how to get him out."
"How?" Brittney asked.
"My good friend Mr. Lincoln can help," Bryan grinned.
"You're going to bribe Morgoth with a five?!" Tippy said.
Bryan looked confused. "Nooo. A penny!"
Needless to say, Plan D was quickly a failure.
"Anymore ideas, genius?" Gimli sighed.
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking," Gandalf mumbled.
"I say we just run downstairs and get him!" Aragorn said.
"Hold up, ugly man!" Brittney said. "You're not goin' anywhere."
"Would you stop calling me that?!" Aragorn yelled.
Just then, the door to the basement opened. The dark figure slowly emerged and began to walk through the living room. The others were silent and confused, watching the Dark Master walk out the door.
"Where's he going?" Peter asked.
"Morgoth and I had an arguement," Dajotre explained. "Apparently, my intelligence was no match for him."
Someone coughed and Daj menacingly looked for the culprit, but no one was different from the others.
(Next Chapter: The Interwebnet START VOTING AGAIN FOR YOUR FAVORITE KID BECAUSE ALL VOTES HAVE NOW BEEN SET TO ZERO!)