Hey readers or hopefully readers, I hope this intro/my writing doesn't scare you away. PRONOUNS HAVE BEEN FIXED, SORRY IT TOOK A BIT
I took a break from writing for awhile (oh the joys of non-creepy colleges) so this was my first post in a year or so, I hope you enjoy!
Subtle but clear, that was the deal. That was their deal.
Draw no attention but let things be known in small ways, like their proximity or care. There's no need to proclaim it to this crazy school, no need to give the frat boys something else to drool over.
Usually it's easy. Usually they can keep them, the true them, the in love them, in their way too small dorm room. Locked up in their room with its pushed together beds, where many Sundays have been spent cuddled up with homework or the tv remote. There -in the meticulously clean and perfect mesh of personalities room- they were free to be together and unafraid.
Subtle but clear works for them. No attention, no explanations, it is perfect - until it's not.
Perry likes to think of herself as a rational being, someone who can see the normal and calm reasons for everything. As a floor don, she's been trained to keep an air of security and confidence around her, but that all changed in this moment. Gone is the calm Perry, the stable Perry, the everything has an explanation Perry, she left when she was disrupted from her studying by a crazed looking Danny yelling about fire and Laura, Lafontaine, and the library.
Calm Perry was erased, she fled to the back crevices of her mind as her heart won the fight as it always has when Lafontaine is concerned.
Before she knew it she was running, forgetting her duties and the floor, she needed to make sure her love was safe.
Down the road from the library the smoke starts to become visible, her heart thrums in her chest as the cold hand of fear clenches it more. They push on, never stopping to rest until they all but run into two shadowed coughing figures.
"Laura!" Danny is the first to speak as the duo comes into the light of the sidewalk lamp, her yell is met with a series of coughs.
As floor Don, thereby Laura's protector, Perry hates to admit the bordering-indifference she felt at the safety of Laura, her eyes focused on the glistening cuts marring her partner's body.
Subtle but clear.
The thought runs through her head, the mantra she's grown custom to repeating anytime she wants to hold Lafontaine's hand or hug them in public, a stupid thought now but her brain clings to the split second of normalcy in the face of such terror.
She stands there starring at Lafontaine trying to gauge their hurt, trying to gauge if she truly hasn't lost them.
Sirens began to sound in the distance, grabbing Lafontaine's arm -subtle but clear- Perry falls into a quick step- almost run, back to the dorms with a glaring Danny and curious Laura behind them.
Once back to the dorms they find themselves in Laura's room where Laura and Lafontaine insist on documenting the issue.
Perry moves in a numb state, not letting herself take a moment to reflect. She needs to clean the wounds on Lafontaine and get the duo drinks, and not think. She needs to not think, until they're alone in their room. She can't think or she'll explode.
She sits on Carmilla's bed, by Laura's side, not wanting to be so close to Lafontaine. Not wanting them to sense her thoughts. Not wanting to breach the subtle but clear guidelines.
Seeing the red cuts slashed along their strong and confident arms made her stomach sick. The fact that she was studying while knifes were flying at them, the fact that she wasn't there, the fact that Laura was.
Laura.
Her eyes flash to the girl, as she explains the fire - yet another thing she can't think about until her and Lafontaine are alone, best not to break down in front of the residents. Don guidelines don't permit it.
But Laura, Laura started all of this. She - as inadvertent as it may be- got Lafontaine, her beautiful nerd of partner hurt. She let them get hurt. She didn't protect them.
At some point the "she" in her thoughts blend and Perry can't decide if they're meant for Laura or herself.
Perry had always told herself through every crazed science experiment Lafontaine got herself in, she would be there to help them, that she wouldn't let them get hurt.
But Perry failed.
And Laura failed them both.
Subtle but clear, emphasis on clear. Laura must know the importance of Lafontaine to her. Or if nothing else, Laura must know the overall importance and amazingness of Lafontaine.
Before she can get too into her thoughts Lafontaine is standing and her eyes instantly follow them to the door.
She wants so bad to follow, but her thoughts have lead her to see red. How could Laura let Laf get hurt? How could she get them into these situations? Rationality aside, she needed to make things clear.
"I'll be right there. Danny can you-" Perry nods her head toward Lafontaine's figure at the door.
"Yeah, uh we'll just be outside." Danny replies shooting Laura a look, "We're not done talking about this."
Perry's tone must've come out tense, because the look on Laura's face after the door shut was one of concern and a spark of nerves.
"Look, like we told you guys before, I'm fine, Lafontaine's fine, we have so much more infor-"
"Stop." Perry's barely concealed angered voice cuts her off
Perry tries to stay calm she really does. Subtle and clear but frick it, Laura needs to understand!
"You are fine. You are fine. But do you see Laf?! Did you take the time to look at Lafontaine? They're bleeding Laura, cut and hurt and I trusted you! I trusted you to keep each other safe, trusted you to keep them safe!"
Laura's eyes widen as if Perry's harsh, quiet anger were actual physical blows.
"What?"
"Look, I need to know they're safe. I need to know that you will help me make that happen. So next time they get hurt while around you or anything of the like, the Dean won't seem so scary in comparison." She finishes eyes burrowing into Laura's shielded face as she stares thinking at the ground.
Silence encompasses the room, finally Perry takes a deep breath and stands painting on a smile for the walk to her own dorm.
"Now rest up, it's pie day tomorrow!" She finishes with forced cheer.
Just as Perry reaches the door handle, Laura's voice takes her back.
"You really love Laf don't you?"
A bittersweet smile crosses Perry's face and she blinks back the wetness as the events of the day bombard her mind, "With all my heart."
Not so subtle, but clear nonetheless.
In the next moment she's out the door with a firm grasp on Lafontaine's arm, making their way to their room.