So I love reading/writing Future!Cas, but rarely is there anything in the stories I've read that really shows Future!Cas thinking beyond the drugs and sex unless it is with Past Dean. This one starts out in typical snarky, drugged out Future!Cas fashion, but gets really angsty towards the end.

For my regular readers…I know I have been neglecting my other stories, but I did participate in GISHWHES (Go Team 226!) and had a blast. I'll get back those ASAP now that I have free time again! Please review even if you hate it…I get so few and they feel SO good! Rated for Cas' potty mouth.

I giggled. It really wasn't appropriate in the situation, but the shitload of pot I had smoked earlier made it nearly impossible not to giggle. Actually I suppose it really wasn't appropriate to giggle anytime for a former Angel of the Lord, but fuck it…my damn foot was broken. Dean wasn't sure, but he wanted to play Doctor so I let him…it was extremely amusing.

"Cas, really? Stop giggling. Now see if you can wiggle your toes." Dean said, giving me a stern look.

I regarded the swollen purple lump that used to be my left foot and wiggled the toes on my right foot. Dean glared as I expected. I giggled again and then contritely tried to wiggle the other ones…it didn't go well. I winced and tried again. "Nope. It's broken like I told you."

"How would you know? You've never broken anything."

I giggled again. "Dean…would you care to hazard a guess as to the number of times I have healed my vessel's broken bones? I know what it feels like even if they were only broken for a split second."

"OK, OK I get it. At least if you can't walk I can keep you away from your stash."

Now that was a sobering thought. Although my bevy of female followers would do my bidding willingly, they knew better than to cross Dean Winchester. If he ordered them to stay away or not to be enablers I was screwed. I needed to be a better patient.

I shot him a mock salute. "Sorry fearless leader. I shall endeavor to be more cooperative."

"Now would you care to tell me how this happened?"

This wasn't going well at all. I was hoping the actual sequence of events could be swept under the rug. No dice.

"Um…well…Risa and I were walking near the fence…"

"That was your first mistake."

"I am aware. May I continue?" I rolled my eyes at Dean. A habit I had picked up from him.

"Yes, just get on with it."

"…and we heard something outside the fence. We ran to the nearest guard shack for protection and I tripped over a rock."

"Tripping over a rock did this much damage?"

"Yes." I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him…daring him to dispute my story. I could tell by the look in his eyes he didn't believe a word of it. He was probably going to check with Risa, but I had already foreseen that and she would back me up.

Dean was the first to blink and I took that as a good sign. I probably shouldn't have.

"And what was outside the fence?"

"We didn't see. After I land…um…fell, Risa ran to get help and I wasn't looking."

"Land? Landed? Cas…what the hell were you really doing?"

The urge to giggle was still there, but once I really thought about what happened it went away rather abruptly. In trying to hide the truth from Dean I was also trying to hide it from myself. I was now human…well and truly human. That last ounce of my mojo was finally gone. My powers had been slowly draining away for quite some time, but the last time I tried I could still fly short distances. The drugs in my system had been enough to convince me that I could try it…one last time. It didn't go well.

When we entered the guard shack we climbed up into the lookout tower for some privacy. I had no intention of jumping out of it, but Risa and I started talking instead of what we really went there for and she asked what it was like…to fly. It's hard to explain, so my drug addled mind decided that the only way to explain was to demonstrate. I concentrated and barely managed to shift my withered wings into this plain of existence, and although they looked somewhat forlorn to me, Risa was fascinated. She stroked them gently and it felt so good to have them again. I leaned into her touch for a few minutes, then got up and walked out onto the ledge. I hesitated for a second before I jumped, hoping that the extra height would be an advantage.

It wasn't. Although I remained airborne long enough to hear Risa gasp, the tattered remains of my flight feathers just weren't strong enough to hold me aloft for long and I came crashing to earth rather violently…and hit the aforementioned rock with my left foot. So you see? The rock was partly true. Dean was just looking at me at this point with a blank look on his face. I didn't have the courage to tell him.

"You tried to fly and failed?" His tone was flat, but his voice broke a little on the word failed. He knew what that meant as well as I did, since he knew that flight was the last of my powers I was able to manifest.

"Yes." I studied my hands as if they held the answers to the mysteries of the universe and waited for him to reply. I was surprised when he did.

He rose and for a second I thought he was just going to leave as he had so many times in the last few years, but he sat back down on the bed beside of me and pulled me into a hug. I froze for second, since it had been a very long time since he had hugged me, then my arms went around him and tears began to flow…from me and from him.

"I'm so sorry, Castiel." Dean's voice cracked as he said it softly into my ear. The use of my full name told me he wasn't speaking to the me of here and now, but the holy tax accountant he had met that fateful day in the barn.

He blamed himself not only for my fall from Grace, but my fall from righteousness as well. This was it. The last vestiges of my Grace were gone. We sat that way for what felt like years, my tears and his mixing in sorrow for what was lost. What could never be again. For Castiel, my former self…for Sam…Bobby, and everything Dean had lost.

I wept uncontrollably, for the first and last time. I knew somehow that this would be the last time that Dean and I would be this close again, and that neither of us would ever let the emotions flow so freely again. "I'm sorry too, Dean."