As always I do not own Divergent. I only own the oc and my plot twists. But I would really love to own Jai Courtney. ;-)
My name is Esme Adams. I am erudite. Well that is until the choosing ceremony.
I am sixteen and half years old. That means I choose this year.
My family thinks I belong in erudite. It might be because I am excellent in school. I have never gotten less than "a" in any subject.
My parents are highly respected scientist. My brother, George, choose erudite and is on his way to being a scientist.
I am so tired of sitting in classrooms and labs. I want to experience life. I want to participate in life and not just study it. I want to start doing instead of writing reports on what needs to be done. That is why I do not belong.
When I was fourteen I figured out I wanted to be dauntless. I wanted to be brave. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to protect people. I wanted to be dauntless.
When I decided I wanted to be dauntless I started studying. I studied hand to hand combat, I studied weapons and I studied war tatics. And once again I am left with knowledge with the inability to use it.
I have always taken my physical health very serious because your mind can not work if your body is not physically fit. I work out for a hour everyday and I run for a hour every night. I took gymnastics for seven years so I am very flexible.
Tomorrow is my aptitude test. I have decided if it comes back erudite I will stay here but if it comes back dauntless I will switch. If it comes back any of the others I will reevaluate then. It's the only logical thing to do.
As I walk into my home I hear several male voices coming from the kitchen. My brother must have some of his friends over. My brother has lots of friends and when he is not working they seem to hang around our house. I know a few of them over the years have transfered but I cant keep up with his amount of friends.
Where my brother is a social butterfly as my mother likes to call it I only have three friends. They are the best friends in the whole world. I wouldnt trade them for anything in this world.
I put down my book bag and walk into the kitchen for a cup of water. I see George and his friends.
I notice my boyfriend Patrick is among the group of guys. I actually met Patrick four months ago because he came to the house with George to hang out.
Patrick is a very nice looking guy. He has light brown hair and dark brown eyes. He wears glasses because he needs them not like some of the other people. He is lanky and almost six foot tall. And he is sweet, funny and a great kisser. I can tell he cares about me a lot.
Patrick comes over and takes my hands. "Can we talk?"
"Of course we can. Let's go to my room."
We walk into my bedroom which is very basic. It is painted a very light blue. I have a queen size bed, dresser, desk and four really tall bookcases.
"Patrick, what did you need to talk to me about?"
"Tomorrow is your aptitude test. I am hoping you get and choose erudite so we can take our relationship to the next level but I want you to know I will love you no matter what faction you choose. I want you to be happy even if that means leaving me. Choose using logic not your heart."
I feel so bad I am keeping this from him but what else is am I suppose to do? We aren't suppose to discuss our faction choice till we do it. There must be a reason they made that rule.
"No matter what happens Patrick you will always be in my heart."
He pulls me to him and starts kissing me. Its so pleasant and sweet. He slips his tongue into my mouth and starts exploring. I feel like I should feel more but I don't. He is getting all worked up and all I can do is to try to keep my mind on what we are doing. He is rubbing all over me and I am debating on doing my homework or not.
From all the books and literature I have read this is not what romance and passion is suppose to be like but this is pleasant and I guess that is all I can expect.
"Patrick we are heading out." I hear my brother call from the other room.
"I am sorry baby I have to go." Patrick says looking sad.
"It's okay. I understand. Go have fun."
He kisses me on the forehead. "I love you Esme"
"I love you Patrick"
#########
"Are you nervous about your test tomorrow?" my dad asks from his spot at the head of the dinner table.
"A little bit. But the test is a logical way of making your decisions."
"That is a great way to look at it."
I can't believe I have never asked before. "Dad where you and mom transfers or erudite born?"
Mom has walked into the room now. "Your dad and I transfered here together from dauntless."
I can't believe it! That explains so much.
"I must say I am surprised. I have been feeling a pull towards dauntless but I didn't understand why. Now I understand. Of course they were dauntless. Why did you transfer?"
Dad answers this one "we found it barbaric to fight over everything. We knew there had to be a better way to deal with conflict."
I try not to laugh as I realize my parents transfered here for the same reason I want to leave here.
"Thank you both for being honest with me. You have given me a lot to think about. May I please be excused?"
"Of course dear. Just remember you have to choose what will make you happy not anybody else. We will love you no matter what."
"I love you both."
As I make my way back to my room I try to think about the last sixteen and half years of my life. What I remember anyway.
I have always loved to learn and experiment but it has never been fulfilling. No matter how much I have learned I have always felt like I was missing something.
I think I will go for a run. That always seems to help clear my head. After I change into my blue running clothes I decide to go by Patrick's to see if he wants to run with me. He has always enjoyed running with me but I usually only invite him once a week. I enjoy running by myself. Clearing my head. But since there is a chance that day after tomorrow I will be gone I feel like I should invite him.
As I run the three blocks to his house I think about our relationship. If I do leave I will miss him but I do not love him.
I run up and knock on his door. "Hi Esme. How are you dear?" Patrick's mom says when she answers the door. She is a tall beautiful blonde woman with her hair in the bun. She is wearing the normal erudite outfit.
"I am doing good Mrs miles. I was just out for a run and was wondering if Patrick would like to join me."
"I just got home dear but he is probably in his room doing his homework if you want to go ask him."
"Yes thank you. I will go ask." she steps aside to let me in. She has allowed me in Patrick's room before so I know where it is.
I stop outside the door when I hear voices inside.
"This doesn't mean anything. I love Esme. Just keep your mouth shut and no one has to know."
I hear a girl giggle. "I won't tell I promise."
That's it. I throw open his door. I see Patrick and Links laying in his bed making out while he has his hand up her shirt.
Patrick jumps up "Esme it's not what you think." he tries to walk over to me but I take off running.
I run out the front door and keep running down the street. My boyfriend and my friend making out on his bed. And I bet if I didn't walk in they were going to do a lot more the kiss.
I know I don't love him but I care about him and this betrayal hurts. And Links one of my only three friends.
I feel like my heart is being crushed. I fight the tears threatening to run down my face.
I start looking around and I dont recognize anything around me. I keep running hoping something will look familiar.
Then I hit the ground. I look up to see what I ran into and I can't believe my eyes when I see a dauntless soldier looking down at me.
"You really should watch where you are going." he says as he helps me stand back up.
"I am so sorry. I was running and I think I panic when I noticed I was lost."
"It's no big deal. I think our run in hurt you more then me." says this gorgeous stranger with tattoos up his neck and piercings in his ears and above his eyebrow.
"You are probably right. But I should have been more careful. Would you be so kind as to point me back to the erudite compound?"
"You know it's not safe running out here at this time of night."
"I know I shouldn't have ran so far away from the compound. I wasn't thinking clearly." I shake my head as the imagine comes back but then I realize I don't care.
"Boy trouble?"
"Started out that way but then I realized it was a good thing. A very good thing. I didn't want to be with him anymore anyway." why the hell am I telling him all this?! "I am Esme by the way."
"I am Eric. And he must have been an idiot." he looks down at me smiling. "I can't leave my post right now so here let me give you this whistle. If you run into any trouble on your way give it a long blow while counting to ten. And I will come running. When you make it home safe give it three quick blows and I will know I don't have to worry anymore. Erudite compound is eight blocks that way." he points off to the right.
"Thank you." I don't know what possessed me but when I took the whistle from him I touched his arm stood on my tip toes and kissed him on the cheek. I was so embarrassed that I took off running as quick as I could.
When I reached my house I took the whistle out and gave it three quick blows. All I could think of is if his lips had ever touched this whistle. I get taken out of my day dream when I hear three quick whistles. I guess that is his way of letting me know he knows I am home safe.
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