A/N: Okay so I read an Alice/Jacob fan fiction and I totally fell in love with this pairing. I know it sounds a bit weird but you need to give it a try. Please review!!! Tell me if I should continue. This is after Jacob comes back, supposedly after Eclipse. I'll add more info in later chapters. In this fic vampires and werewolves hate each other by the way.

I sat motionlessly in my bed, my eyes scanned by bedroom for the thousandth time as if I was unconsciously waiting for something to change. Of course nothing did, everything remained exactly the same, boring, plain, white. It was curious how these thoughts rambled through my head now, I had never been bothered by the immensity and dullness of my room, as a matter or fact, I used to be content with it. I guess something is changing within me, and it scares me. My hands rubbed my arms trying to give me so heat; I heard an ironic chuckle escape my lips once I realized my action, a vampire looking for heat, such a funny sight. I found myself doing these sorts of things often, without thinking about them. Since Jasper went to Denali things have been much harder for me, he was some sort of wall I could lean on every time I felt like I was bout to fall.

Things for my specie are not as easy as we make it seem. I always tried to act cheerful and pulled together, especially in front of Bella, but that is only because I don't want anyone to see what's underneath the mask, not even my family. On one hand, there was the fact that I need to remain a vegetarian and, though I try hard, there are times in which I can easily feel myself running out of self control. It scares me to think how easily I could end with a life, just a few harmless seconds and my life would be dammed as well. On the other, there is my lack of memories of my past life. This made me a freak even compared to the other vampires, when they look into their past they can see a family, people they loved and hated; I see blackness, nothing else. It had been three years since I discovered were I came from, how I was turned into the creature I now am. I still shudder as I remember staring at the dark screen where a vampire explained how I was placed in a mental institution, that's why I had no memory, I had been insane.

I close my eyes and bring my hand to my temples trying myself to force a vision of Jasper. I needed to know he was alright, that was enough for me to go on for one more day. Time passed nothing. I shook my head as I opened my eyes. There had been something going on with me lately and it was reflecting in my lack of power. I used to be able to have visions if I concentrated hard enough, especially visions of the ones of my kind, but now I only saw emptiness, the same emptiness I see when I try to think about my past. I could feel the same emptiness within me, something unexplainable, vampires were not supposed to have this human emotions. Edward says it is because we own no soul but I have a theory of my own. Since the moment we attempted to cheat of death we were both damned and blessed. We had amazing beauty and unimaginable grace but, as a punishment, we could not feel. I knew I loved Jasper but I would never be sure if I did it with the same intensity that humans felt. I've read several love novels and it is impossible for me to relate with any of those. I can't feel my breath being taken away, I can't feel dizzy and unstable, I can't even feel my heart stop beating because it doesn't need to beat at all.

Giving out a groan I fell back to lie on my bed. The feeling of loneliness was taking over me making me feel odd. Vampires were supposed to be lonely creatures by nature, but I was different, nothing made me happier than being than being next to my family. I know it is weird how I call them my family when they have no real relation to me but I cannot call them anything else. I look up to Esme and Carslile the same way I would do to my mother and father and I love Rosalie, Emmet and Edward as if they were my brothers. I guess fact that I have no memory of my real family makes our bond stronger. As I was thinking about this Jasper's face came to my mind, it was not a vision, just a memory of his smile. I felt my eyes stinging but no tears came out, this was another curse, we could not cry, it was as if our tears dried away the same as our soul.

After a while I realized I needed to get out, even though I wasn't breathing I could sense the air in my room getting thicker and the pressure in my chest was getting unbearable. For the first time in my life I had no idea of what was going on, something wasn't right with me but I still couldn't figure out what was it. If being a vampire had gotten the gift of foresight at least it should have allowed me to have visions on my own future which would be of so much help at the moment. I jumped out of bed as soon as I heard someone knock at the door.

"Alice, darling, are you okay?" I heard Esme's sweet voice coming from the other side of the door. I did my best to look as if I had been resting or lost in thought..

"Yes, come in" I answered once I had thrown the covers on top of me

I forced a smile to my face as soon as Esme walked into the door. Her eyes shown genuine concern although it was pretty obvious I was in no harm of a mortal disease since I was already dead. Ha, great moment to use some dark humor on myself. I pushed the covers down as I sat at the edge of the bed patting the side motioning for her to sit down.

"What is it?" I asked breaking the silence and trying to seem as normal as it was possible

"I just wanted to know if everything was alright, you know…" she trailed off doing her best not to mention Jasper's name.

"Yes Esme, I miss Jasper a lot but what are a few months for a vampire right?" I chuckled.

As a matter of fact, a few months sounded like an eternity now that I mentioned it. Only two weeks had passed and I was already feeling all crumbled on the inside, I didn't even wanted to think how I was going to feel in two, three months. How long would he be away? How long would it take him to regain his inner strength? The idea that he could be gone for more than a year made me tremble. Just now I found myself able to understand Bella, the way she acted while Edward left her.

"I bet he will be back soon" Esme's voice pulled me out of my trance, and I was truly grateful for that.

"Yes"

"But listen to me Alice, you need to go out of this room at some point. You seem so distant, we are all worried about you hun"

"I was just planning to go out on a walk for a while, maybe some fresh air will bring the cheerful Alice out again. I don't any of you to worry about me, honest" I said reassuringly and trying my best to give Esme a smile.

"Sure" Esme agreed, but something in her eyes told me she was not so sure about it "Besides, you look a bit hungry" she encouraged as she stood up and walked out the door not without giving me a final look over her shoulder before crossing the door.

Hungry, I hadn't thought about hunger, I have had so many other things to think about I didn't even had time to feel the thirst for blood. I stood up quietly and started walking towards the door hoping not to see Rosalie or the rest. I loved them, I did, but I wasn't in the mood of being asked how I was feeling, again. Every time someone asked me it felt as if they were removing the dirt over a dead body, it only made the feeling of emptiness within me increase at amazing speed. At least for now, I wanted to be by myself.

Much to my liking it seemed like no one was around, Rosalie and Emmet were probably planning their next honeymoon and Edward might be reading upstairs or heading somewhere with Bella. Everyone seemed to have someone, except me. I knew Jasper was still thinking about me and I was thinking about him as well but he was not with me, near me, I could not feel him. I took in a deep breath before my fingers touched the doorknob and twisted it.

"Alice just be careful" I heard a voice in my head, Edward's

"I will" I answered mentally before I crossed the door and closed it behind me.

A rush of cool air greeted me although, of course, I didn't felt cold at all. The simple fact that I was away from the house made me feel better, it was as if being away from the environment in which we commonly saw each other made me feel a bit more at ease. I started walking towards the large forest, my feet moving without receiving any instructions from my brain. Without even noticing it I was already surrounded by different kinds of trees, I felt extremely small as I looked up to see how high they could go. There was not sun today and I preferred it that way. I hated seeing how my skin glittered in the sun, even after all these years it still felt strange as if it wasn't supposed to happen. Rosalie found this gift extremely beautiful but I hate it, it only reminded me how far I was from being human.

I know many humans might wonder why I would like to be one of them when I had perfect beauty and strength that would put any professional boxer to shame. But if they were like me, they wouldn't like it. This is exactly why, even after I promised, I wasn't able to change Bella. Because, deep inside me, I knew there will come a time in which she would wish she could have continued with her normal life even if it meant being away from Edward.

My feet came to a sudden stop making me pay attention of my surroundings. It took me a while to understand why I wasn't walking but I finally came to an answer. I was now standing in our limit of the forest, by our I mean the vampires. I couldn't go any further, not if I didn't want to keep living. Weird how I say living when I am not even alive. Only god knows how many times I had been standing here, actually, every time I walk through the woods I end up here, looking into the opposite part of the line and asking myself why is it so different? Werewolves know about us, they know we would not harm people, not even when we were extremely hungry. A sudden urge took over my body, an urge to place my foot on the other side and see what happened. Would they have the guts to end with my life? Even if they did, I had an advantage, I was much lighter, faster, I would be able to escape before they had a chance to catch me. But what about the rest? I couldn't be selfish enough to put them in danger.

Slowly I rose my left foot and swung it over the line careful not to touch the ground. There must be something really wrong with me, why was I trying to catch their attention? I was acting by impulse and I had never done this before. I was tired of being reasonable, of giving everything a second thought.

"Stop it Alice" I muttered to myself

Finally, I took my foot back and turned around to leave. I couldn't believe I had been about to put he lives of my whole family in danger. This was not the Alice I knew, I was changing far too rapidly and not knowing the reason for this was killing me. I turned around as soon as I heard a growl at the other side of the line. I knew beforehand it was not a wolf; the sound was far too human. My eyes rose to meet a pair of brown ones. Jacob Black.

"Attempting to violate the treaty aren't we leech?" he said, a smirk formed on his face.

A/N: So…should I continue with it? Please review and let me know!!!