Disclaimer: I don't own the characters (except for a few OCs a created - most of them will be minor characters), spells, places etc mentioned, they are all JK Rowling's. This is JK Rowling's universe. I am not making any money out of this story.
Genre: drama, general, romance (pairings: James/Lily, Sirius/OC), with some humour and angst as well.
Author's note: Please let me know your thoughts, that would be really appreciated. Thank you! The title of the story is taken from the great HP-themed song by Ministry of Magic. I am taking part in the BBC Sherlock challenge on the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges forums. There is 1 Sherlock quote in Chapter 1 and one in Chapter 5.
Chapter 1
PURITAS
Join like-minded pureblood wizards and witches for an evening of discussions this Saturday at 8pm. If you are new and interested in joining us, wear your scarf bearing your house colours tomorrow, and we will come to you to give you the location of the meeting. Because of the nature of the issues at stake, we require that all details regarding Puritas shall be kept in absolute secrecy by everyone.
We look forward to seeing many of you tomorrow.
The dark-haired boy finished writing the twenty-fourth note with a sigh of relief. He pulled his Slytherin scarf tightly around his neck and smiled. This was all going according to plan.
"Why don't your socks match?"
Sirius Black's hands stopped fidgeting with the small glass bottle they were handling, but he didn't answer his friend's question. He did, however, give a perfunctory glance at his left foot - blue sock, and then at his right foot - white sock.
"Moony, can't you see I'm busy?"
Sirius returned his gaze to the cauldron below him, pouring the leech juice inside.
"Padfoot, you've been in a right state since Friday. If you hadn't been playing and rolling around with the wolf all night long, you wouldn't be so tired," James Potter said, smirking.
"It's not my fault, the wolf wouldn't leave me alone," Sirius said exasperatedly, "it's like he just wanted me -"
Sirius trailed off abruptly, realising how that sounded. But it was too late; Peter Pettigrew and James were both hunched over in great gasps of laughter. Remus Lupin stood next to them, cheeks slightly flushed, the corners of his mouth fighting against a smile.
"Stop laughing, you morons," Sirius said. "I can't concentrate."
James stopped laughing suddenly. Peter took a look at James and then stopped, too. Sirius stifled a yawn. His grey eyes were bloodshot and he was blinking more often than usual. Only the thought of the prank kept him out of bed past midnight that night.
"I've just had a very disturbing, vivid image of Padfoot and the wolf, you know - together," James said, suddenly wrinkling his nose. "Now it's not so funny anymore."
"Gross," Peter commented.
"Can you please stop talk talking about that?" Remus said mildly. "I want to be able to look at Sirius in the eye again."
"And I want you all to be quiet so that I can get this done," Sirius said. "I'm flattered everyone's celebrating my masculinity as both human and dog, but we need to concentrate. Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty - here we go."
Sirius stopped stirring the potion and the four boys looked down at the liquid, its colour a strange shade of beige.
"Isn't it supposed to be light brown?" Peter said.
"Shut up, Wormtail," Sirius said. "And just wait a moment, will you. You trust me, right?"
Sirius's eyes met three blank faces.
"Don't take this the wrong way," Remus said. "But you don't want to hear the answer to that."
They managed to remain silent for a full five minutes, which was an achievement reserved for prank purposes. The potion's colour had got a bit darker and could now be considered light brown. Sirius tucked a strand of long black hair behind his ear and sniffed haughtily.
"See, light brown. If only you lot had a bit of faith in me. Moony, the vial?"
Remus passed a small vial to Sirius, who poured the potion into it with a satisfied and slightly devilish smile.
"Well done, Padfoot," James said, nodding.
"For the record, I would like to repeat that I did not agree with the choice of subject for this prank," Remus said.
Sirius groaned.
"Are you sure Spoilsport isn't your middle name?" Sirius said.
"That's enough," James said, quietly but firmly. "Is everyone clear on the delivery method?"
They all nodded and James pocketed the vial.
"Can't wait for tomorrow," James said with a dreamy smile, as the four boys started walking back towards Gryffindor Tower. "It's been a while we didn't play with old Snivellus. Padfoot, is the coast clear?"
Sirius took the Map out of his pocket and glanced at it. There were no dots in the Gryffindor common room; it appeared all the students were in their dormitories. No one was anywhere on the way to the common room, either.
"All clear," Sirius said.
They remained silent during the following few minutes, and they entered the Gryffindor common room just before one o'clock. In order not to attract attention, they kept both noise and light to a minimum. The only light came from the tip of Peter's wand. Peter being the clumsy one, he was usually the one carrying the light, the other three being able to walk around safely with the faint glow around them. However, it didn't mean there weren't the occasional slip-ups. Remus yelped in pain as he bumped in an armchair, which he believed was not at its usual place.
"Damn armchair," Remus said.
"Language, Moony," Sirius whispered.
Sirius's glee at being able to tell off Remus for swearing was obvious to the other three, even though they could not see his face properly in the dark.
"Accio parchment!"
Sirius jumped as the Marauders' Map flew from his hands and landed in the firm grip of Venusta Vance, who had been standing in the dark by the staircase leading to the girls' dormitories, her tall and athletic frame now visible in the dim glow of Peter's wand as he pointed it towards her. She lit up her wand to look at the parchment. She ran a hand through her long dark hair, which she had tamed with a straightening spell, as she disliked its natural frizzy look.
"What is this?" Venus whispered to herself, a curious smile lighting up her face as writing began to appear on the parchment.
Mr Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs are proud to present THE MARAUDERS' MAP
Mr Prongs and Mr Moony send their warm regards
Venus stared at the words appearing on the parchment, torn between suspicion and awe at what the boys had apparently created. She wondered if it was a map of Hogwarts and its secret passages, which they seemed to know much better than she did. She really liked her female friends, but she had to admit that their risk-taking, or rather, risk-avoiding, approach of life at school was not always to her taste.
Mr Padfoot would like to invite Miss Vance to kindly sod off and take care of her business
"Give that back to me, Venusta," Sirius snarled.
Venus chose not to reply. Knowing her since they were children, he was perfectly aware of the fact that she didn't like her full name and preferred being called Venus. Which was exactly why Sirius often used her full name. Both of them were pure bloods and therefore somehow related, although they didn't even know which distant relatives they had in common. Venus's family did not have anything to do with the Blacks anyway. In the Vances' house, they were only mentioned as examples of a noble family that had turned out horribly wrong.
"Accio map!" Sirius said, raising his wand towards her. "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"
There was a loud meowing, which made Peter jump slightly.
"I could ask you the same question!"
Venus looked outraged, but decided to answer anyway.
"I couldn't sleep, and then Shadow started pestering me to let her out so I came down here."
Shadow, Venus's black cat which she had got just before starting Hogwarts six years ago, had developed a fondness for Sirius early on, for reasons that escaped both her owner and the subject of her affections. Shadow trotted about to where Sirius was standing and started rubbing up against Sirius's legs, purring.
"And - how surprisingly," Venus said, "I find you four here. What the hell are you doing? Going to lose points for Gryffindor again? And what is this… is it a map of Hogwarts? How did you do it?"
"This is none of your business," Sirius snapped, trying to shoo the cat away.
"Oh, yes, Black, it is. Unfortunately, I happen to be in the same house as you. But if you do something - whatever, I'll go and wake Lily up, and we'll go straight to McGonagall tomorrow."
At the mention of Lily, James's eyes lit up.
"But we haven't done anything, have we?" James said innocently, speaking for the first time. "We were just taking a walk."
Venus glared at them suspiciously, knowing that they were up to something. But her fondness for James and Remus, and the fact that she secretly wished they would let her be a part of whatever they were doing prevented her from taking any action. The threat of telling on them was merely for Sirius's benefit.
"Go back to bed, Venusta," Sirius said. "You wouldn't want to be sleeping during class tomorrow, now would you?"
But Venus stood still, staring at them severely.
"I will do whatever I want. "I will stay here until you go to bed."
"If you want, you can even follow me to my bed," Sirius said.
Sirius gave her his fake flirtatious smile. But to his disappointment, Venus happened not to blush at that comment. Actually, she showed no reaction at all, and the silence stretched until James started feeling uncomfortable.
"Look, if you promise not to tell, we can let you in on it," James said.
"I promise," Venus said quickly.
"By the way, I can't believe you didn't look at the Map again to double check no one was here," James said, shaking his head at Sirius.
"Tell her?" Sirius said, obviously choosing to ignore James's last words. "No way! Snivellus is ours, and ours only."
"She could provide a good distraction," James stage-whispered to Sirius. "You know, with her, erm, considerable assets."
James waggled his eyebrows and Peter tried but failed to stifle a giggle.
"James, are you referring to my breasts?" Venus said, scowling at James.
"Well, that depends on whether Snape is a boobs guy or an butt guy."
"Excuse me while I vomit," Sirius said.
Both Sirius and Venus actually looked like they had smelt something foul.
"James, stop being disgusting," Venus said.
"Sorry," James said. "But actually, we could really use your help, if you want. It's nothing really, you'd just have to say a couple of words to Snape and that's it, Peter will do the rest. And then in Transfiguration class, the fun will start."
"What are we doing tonight?" Sirius asked the next morning, his mouth full of food.
"I thought we could explore that tunnel we discovered last night, behind the Blind Wizard's statue," James replied excitedly.
"Oh, guys, couldn't we just rest for once? If we continue like that, you'll have to drag me you-know-where in a few weeks."
Remus kept his voice was low, as he was still afraid that someone would discover his secret. Thanks to James, most of his classmates believed he just had a problem with a badly-behaved rabbit.
"Fine," James said, sighing. "We'll go without you."
"Hum, we're forgetting something, Prongs," Sirius said. "Quidditch practice."
"Oh, right," James said. "By the way, I have to tell Venus about the new tactic I came up with."
"Couldn't you just tell her to go to hell and send us a postcard?" Sirius suggested hopefully.
"Sirius, she's the best Chaser in the team. After me, of course."
"I know," Sirius said, scowling.
Venus was one of the only girls in the school that didn't seem to be affected by his charm, and that just pissed him off. Which was ironic, since the other girls' attentions, when he did notice them, never kept him interested for very long.
"And try to be nicer to her," James said. "You know she's my friend."
Sirius growled and spilt some of his pumpkin juice on James's plate, but James didn't seem to mind as the object of his affection had just sat down a few seats away.
"Hi, Lily!" James said.
James had turned his full attention to her and, as usual when Lilly was around, his whole face had changed imperceptibly, becoming softer somehow. Lily was accompanied by her two Muggle-born friends from their year, Mary McDonald and Anna Ripperton.
"Oh, here are the twins," Lily said, scowling at James and Sirius. "Potter, just try to get through breakfast without doing anything stupid, won't you? I think you've lost enough points for Gryffindor for a lifetime."
James shrugged non-committally, not wanting to lie but not wishing to reveal the fact that they were going to pull a prank on Snape before leaving the Great Hall. For a few minutes, the boys sat in comfortable silence, enjoying their food.
At one point, Sirius noticed that Venus had come in and sat down a few seats away. Sirius thought about how annoying it was that Venus had interrupted them last night and had found out about the Map. On the other hand, he had to admit she was going to provide a very nice looking distraction indeed. She had beautiful wide almond shaped eyes hovering between green and yellow, which distracted the eye from her slightly long nose. Sirius's gaze travelled across Venus's face to her full and inviting mouth. He felt his pulse quicken as he suddenly wondered what it would be like to kiss her.
"I was wondering why you were so quiet this morning, but now I've got the answer," Remus whispered, leaning confidentially towards him.
Sirius startled; Remus was smiling kindly at him with just a hint of tease in his eyes. Sirius punched Remus lightly in the arm.
"No idea what you mean," Sirius said.
"Yeah, I would be suprised if you did," Remus said, laughing.
"You'd better stop this now, if you want to be OK for tonight. Why are so interested in Vance, anyway? Do you like her?" Sirius said, to try and direct the focus of the attention to Remus.
To Sirius's surprise, Remus blushed slightly. Remus looked around quickly to make sure no one outside their group was within earshot.
"It's not that I like her as such," Remus said. "It's just, well, you know - she is really beautiful."
"Foxy," Peter said.
Sirius snorted.
"Wormtail, no one says foxy since 1968."
"And she is really cool," James added.
"She is," Peter said.
"I mean, I am not saying I like her in the way you mean," Remus said. "She is too much of a drama queen for me. And high maintenance. Not to mention that she is miles out of my league. But I can't say that she doesn't have any effect on me."
Sirius looked surprised.
"Really? What about you, Prongs?"
Sirius turned to his best friend, but he already knew there would be no support there. James shrugged.
"I am not saying I would ever try anything with her," James said. "I think we work better as friends. But, that being said - in a world where Lily wouldn't exist and Venus and I wouldn't be friends since ages, yeah, I'd definitely go for it and shag her. Or at least, try to."
James laughed at Sirius's shocked face.
"Oh, come on, Padfoot, don't tell me you've never even thought about it."
Sirius leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, like a sulking child.
"Never in a million years," Sirius said dramatically.
James and Peter sniggered and started talking about the upcoming Quidditch match. But Remus was still staring at Sirius, an amused smile lingering on his face. Sometimes Remus's perspicacity was a gift and sometimes, it was the most infuriating thing in the world.
Once Venus had finished her breakfast, she caught James's eye accross the Gryffindor table, and smiled. She was excited to take part to a Marauders prank, even if it was a small prank, and she had only a small role in it. As planned, Venus and Peter stood up. Peter held a glass of pumpkin juice in his hand. Venus made her way towards the Slytherin table, Peter on her heels. Snape was sitting by himself, a few seats away from a big group of loud fourth year boys. Venus took a deep breath and tried to ignore the wave of repulsion she felt the few times she had to speak to Severus Snape.
"Good morning, Severus," Venus said.
She felt very strange saying that name. They had never been on a first name basis. Having not seen her arrive and surprised at being addressed this way, Snape almost choked on his pastry.
"What do you want, Vance?"
Snape was frowning and squinting at her. Venus flashed him a smile, leaning against the table. She tossed her hair to the side and fluttered her eyelashes.
"I know you are amazingly good at Potions," Venus said. "And, well, I'm not that good, I could do with a bit of help. I was wondering if you would accept to help me?"
Snape's eyes were now only two black lines. His jaw was clenched and he glanced briefly behind Venus at the Gryffindor table.
"And what makes you think I would help you?" Snape said coldly.
Venus leant forward and placed a hand on Snape's arm, stroking it lightly, making sure Snape's eyes were on her.
"I think we could find an arrangement," Venus whispered.
Out of the corner of her eye, Venus saw Peter behind Snape, switching his glass with Snape's pumpking juice glass on the table. Snape's face turned even whiter than it usually was.
"Leave me alone," Snape snapped, finally turning away from her.
Venus let go of Snape's arm and straightened up, with a shrug.
"You're missing out," Venus said. "Well, I'll see you later."
Venus could hardly contain her laughter as she walked out of the Great Hall. Nobody noticed Peter discarding Snape's glass at the end of the Slytherin table and then leaving. As Peter himself had said the night before, nobody usually noticed him much. The Transfiguration class started just a few minutes later. Professor McGonagall absolutely refused to let the Marauders sit together during her lessons, and every week she reshuffled the class's seating plan in order not to let them "contaminate" always the same classmates. That week, the seat next to Sirius was assigned to Venus.
"You got lucky, you got the best looking one," Sirius said, winking, as she sat down next to him.
Venus sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.
"What? What have I said?" Sirius said.
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking, but it's usually subtext."
Venus then pretended to listen to McGonagall as their teacher started talking about another of the terrible consequences of human Transfiguration gone wrong. Venus tried not to look at Sirius. He looked very handsome indeed as he lounged back in his chair and did his best impression of an attentive student. She spent the first minutes of the class eagerly waiting for Snape to open his mouth.
"It should have taken effect by now," Sirius whispered to her, having noticed she kept glancing at Snape. "He just needs to start speaking."
"I never thought I'd ever look at Snape so many times on purpose. I feel like I need to wash my eyes now."
Venus wrinkled her nose in disgust and smiled as Sirius snorted. McGonagall stopped mid-sentence and turned towards them.
"Black, Vance, I am glad to see you two not arguing for once, but there will be no flirting either during my lessons, do you understand?"
All their classmates' heads turned towards Venus and Sirius. Venus was shocked both by the fact that someone though she and Sirius Black were actually flirting, and by hearing McGonagall say the word "flirting". Lily, who was sitting in the front row next to Peter, gave Venus a quizzical look.
"Yes, Professor," Venus said through gritted teeth. "Wasn't flirting anyway."
"Clear as a bell, Professor," Sirius said, and smiled brightly. "Absolutely sorry about the interruption."
McGonagall's stern frown faltered slightly.
"Yes, well. No more interruptions, or Black, you will just have to sit by yourself like a six-year old unruly child."
A couple of minutes later, McGonagall finally asked the class a question for which Snape raised his hand to answer. Venus held her breath as McGonagall nodded at Snape for him to give his answer.
"You've gone potty because of the green carrot," Snape said.
There was a stunned silence. Snape's eyes widened and he shook his head. McGonagall scowled at him.
"I beg your pardon?" McGonagall said.
"I've gone up the roof, it's the mushy mushroom!"
Snape's voice got higher with every word and he was staring back at McGonagall, transfixed, and shaking his head frantically. James started laughing, soon followed by most students, even a couple of Slytherins.
"No, no! It's the baba - babo - babboon! The cute one with the haircut, crawling up my skin, eating Butterbeer with a melon. He can't do that, lalala, chicken poo!"
Snape had stood up and was wailing his arms about, looking like a mad man.
"Somebody take Mr Snape to the Hospital Wing right now," McGonagall said. "A Prefect? The only explanation I can think of is that Mr Snape drank some Babbling beverage, I am sure Madam Pomfrey will know how to stop its effects."
A Slytherin Prefect stood up and took Snape's arm and dragged him out of the classroom. Snape was still muttering gibberish under his breath and looked positively furious. Venus and Sirius shaking with silent laughter, exchanged a look and gave each other a high five under the table.
During the next few weeks, Venus found herself often thinking about the mysterious map that she had snatched from the boys. She had a lot of questions and among those were: what did they use it for? She really hoped that they never used it to stalk anyone or check what everyone was up to. She was uncomfortable with the idea that they might be able to see where she was and who she was with, at any time. The most worrying part was that Sirius Black may have access to that information. During lessons, after class and during the weekends, Venus watched the Marauders, hoping to get another glimpse of the map, or maybe find out where they stored it - although they most likely kept it somewhere in their dormitories. But she did not see the map again, until the last weekend of March brought long-awaited sun. Most people were outside enjoying the sunshine, and Venus found Remus in the otherwise empty common room. Remus was on his way out and she walked towards him.
"Aren't you outside, then?" Remus said.
"No, actually I wanted to catch up on some homework," Venus lied.
Venus was going to do all she could to get in Remus's good books. She flashed him a smile and casually put her arm around his waist as they exited the common room. She felt Remus's back stiffen at her touch and saw his cheeks colouring slightly.
"I was wondering about that map," Venus whispered, leaning in towards Remus.
"What map?" Remus said weakly.
Venus shook her head.
"That's not gonna work, Remus."
Remus sighed.
"I cannot tell you about it," Remus said.
"Oh, come on," Venus said. "Please? It looks awesome!"
She squeezed his arm playfully.
"I can't, my mates would kill me," Remus said, smiling.
Venus smiled back and held up her hands in defeat.
"Alright, alright. But can I at least take a quick look at it? Just to see what you can see on it. I just want to make sure it is nothing illegal or immoral, you know."
Remus's eyes widened at her implied threat that she could go and report them. They were still walking together and had reached an empty corridor.
"OK, I guess, but then let's be really quick. I will show you, but then you promise you won't tell anyone, ever?"
Venus smiled.
"I promise."
Remus took out the map from his robes and tapped it with his wand.
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," Remus said.
Words began appearing. Remus put away the map for a moment as he entangled himself from Venus's arm, as he felt like he could not think completely clearly.
"Really?" Venus said, laughing. "That's your catch phrase?"
Just as Remus turned to her to reply, they heard quick steps behind them.
"Stop! What do we have here?"
It was Filch.