Author's Note: My very first uploaded fanfiction. Please review, or just leave behind a message saying what you thought of it. (Is that considered reviewing? IDK. I'm new here.)
Disclaimer: (I'm supposed to use one of these, right?) I'm not J.K. Rowling and I don't claim any ownership of the lovely characters or world of Harry Potter.
Enjoy!
Fred sighed gloomily as he and George walked down the lane on the way to the Muggle grocery store. Running errands really wasn't any fun, especially for the two twelve year old boys; they could be using this time to plan a new prank, or execute a pre-planned one, or experiment with some Boomslang skin they had found in the attic. Mrs. Weasley had thrown the boys out of the house after they used permanent Muggle dye to make all the curtains in the house brilliant, neon green. "Go to Sainsbury's and buy tuna salad," she had yelled after them, "I won't have any time to cook dinner, it'll take at least two hours to get all this rubbish fixed."
George, noticing his twin's heavy sigh, heaved one in reply, and the boys sighed at each other back and forth as they trudged to the shop.
"I don't know why Mum couldn't have let us go to Otter's, it's loads closer," groaned George.
"She probably wants us out of her sight as long as possible," muttered Fred.
"It's quite unfair, really. Those curtains were such a lovely color," murmured George. "She should consult us for all her interior decorating needs."
A few minutes later, they arrived at Sainsbury's and gasped in despair at the size of the store. It had been several years since they had last visited the shop, and it seemed to have grown at least twice its size in their memory.
Entering the shop, Fred and George wandered up and down the seemingly endless aisles, looking at the products on the shelves. Occasionally, an adult would glance at them and wonder what two young children were doing in a grocery store by themselves before passing on.
At last, the twins found the correct aisle. "Green beans, corn—oh, look at this, Georgie, canned asparagus, how revolting—peas, tuna. Hooray, tuna!" Fred exclaimed. He grabbed a good-sized can off the shelf, glancing briefly at the picture of fish on the label, and turned to his twin to deposit the can in their little basket. George, however, grabbed the can to read the label, and began to laugh uproariously. Fred frowned. Had his twin gone insane? It was just a can of tuna salad. "George? Are you alright?" he asked.
It took a few minutes before George stopped laughing. Wiping the tears from his eyes, George replied, "Freddie, this is cat food."
Fred examined the label more closely. Sure enough, the label actually said "Fish flavored cat food, natural food for cats". His eyes widened as he thought about the berating they'd get from their mum if they brought home cat food instead of tuna salad. "Good save, Georgie!" he exclaimed. He started to put the can back, but George grabbed his wrist. "Wait, Freddie. I have an idea." His eyes positively gleamed, and he told Fred his idea. They bought several more cans of tuna salad cans than they needed to before heading home.
Two months later, it was time for students to head to Hogwarts. The twins, after promising good behavior to their parents and scampering off, joined Lee Jordan in a compartment. A few minutes later, Alicia Spinnet and Angelina Johnson peered through the glass. The boys motioned for them to come in, and the group filled all the seats but one.
They all chatted and laughed, telling the others how they spent the summer, which of their friends they had seen in the corridor or on the platform, who looked very different, etc. They had just started a game of Exploding Snap when the trolley witch came around.
Alicia and Angelina bought a box of Bertie Bott's each, and Lee bought three Chocolate Frogs, but when the witch asked Fred and George if they wanted anything, they said they didn't and the witch moved on.
Lee glanced at the two, concerned. He knew that money was a little bit tight in the Weasley house, but usually they could spare a knut or two on a snack between them. The twins saw his glance and smiled back. They dragged out their backpack and pulled out two circular, short tins, one each. They pulled on the convenient tabs on top, opening the container and revealing packed little flakes of what looked and smelled like fish, but not quite. George pulled out spoons and gave one to Fred. They dug in.
Angelina, Lee, and Alicia were curious. "What is that?" Alicia asked, smiling at the strangeness.
"Why, it's cat food!" exclaimed George.
"Yeah, it's really tasty," Fred added. He handed his tin over, and Alicia looked at the label—sure enough, it read "Fish flavored cat food, natural food for cats". There was a little picture of a fish on one side of the label, and a happy looking cat on the other.
"Oh, revolting!" cried Angelina.
"Try it!" George laughed, and Fred offered his spoon.
Lee just sat there, dumbfounded. The Weasley Money Problem must be even worse than he imagined, and he felt very sorry that Alicia brought it up. "Do you want one of my Chocolate Frogs?" he offered to the twins. How convenient, that he had bought three.
"Nah," replied Fred, "this stuff is amazing. It's my favorite food now."
"It's really good for you too, look how much we've grown!" George boasted.
"You really should try some," said Fred. George nodded along.
The girls made faces, and laughingly refused.
Lee still felt awful.
A week later, the group was settled in the Common Room. There was a surprising lack of homework that day, and they were taking the opportunity to lounge around. Fred, exchanging a glance with George, pulled another can of the cat food out of his bag, and they began to eat it, exclaiming how wonderful it was. Alicia and Angelina looked up from their game of Wizard Chess, chuckling. Lee, however, was not taking any more of it. He went over to the twins and muttered, "Can I talk to you guys?" He made big, obvious eye motions and whispered, "In private?" The twins assented, and the trio made their way partially up the stairs to the boy's dormitory so they would be out of earshot of the Common Room. Angelina, however, was curious, so the girls crept by the stairs and listened.
"Is everything okay?" Lee asked. The twins looked at him like he was slightly barmy.
"Yeah, everything's great?" replied George questioningly.
"Is that all, mate? You could have asked us that in the Common Room," joked Fred.
"No," sighed Lee, "is everything okay… at home? You guys don't have to eat that stuff anymore, the house elves make plenty of food!"
The twins guffawed for a long time. Lee was hurt; he just wanted to be sure they were fine.
At last, patting each other on the back, they smirked at Lee. "We got you good, mate" gloated George. "Yeah, you really believed us, didn't you?" smiled Fred.
This baffled Lee. "Got me good? Believed what?"
"The cat food!" Fred said. George explained, "It's actually tuna salad. We enchanted the label to look like a tin that we saw at the grocer's."
Lee thought this was hilarious. The boys all laughed together for another five minutes before heading back to the Common Room.
Fred and George went back to eating their "cat food". After a minute, Lee came over and asked, "Hey, do you mind if I try some?"
The twins beamed and said, "No, not at all!" Lee tried some and smiled. "Mmm, it's pretty good, but not as good as shepherd's pie." All three looked at the girls, who were staring at Lee.
Fred called, "How about you girls try some? It's pretty tasty!"
"If we do try some, you have to carry our stuff for a week," said Alicia.
The twins smirked and replied: "Deal." They knew that the girls would chicken out; cat food was too gross to really eat. They pulled out another spoon, offering it to Angelina. She took a good sized spoonful and glanced at the boys before plopping it firmly in her mouth. "Delicious!" she simpered as she chewed. The twins looked slightly unnerved as Angelina gave the spoon to Alicia, who promptly ate a spoonful. "Absolutely charming!" she murmured. She passed the spoon back to George, who was looking slightly ill. The girls each carried almost twice as much as Fred, George, and Lee combined. Who knew why they carried that much or what they needed all that stuff for.
"Hope you enjoy carrying our things!" Alicia singsonged as they went back to their Wizard Chess game.
The twins just stared at the girls, aghast. They were really going to have sore backs for the weeks following. Lee grimaced at them, and said, "Bad luck, mates."