Stressed
"Fear and panic are two seperate emotions. Fear's healthy, and panic's deadly." –Chasing Mavericks
Ugh! My head hurts. Uggggghhhh!
When I try to look around, what I assume is my room, everything is one big blurr. The room is spinning and everything feels heavy. Maybe last night wasn't a great idea. Still, no matter how miserable this hangover makes me. No matter how much I'm about to puke or moan. It's all worth it. Why, do you ask, is it all worth it? Why don't we recap what's been going on and why don't we start with the old information. Eight years ago I found my real mom and maybe for five minutes it was a big happy moment. I mean I found my mom, my own flesh and blood. During that year, I was trying to get her to believe that magic was real and that she needed to save her kingdom, which she did. She saved me and it looked like one of those, And they lived Happily Ever After, moments.
I always did wonder what happened after that. You know when you see a disney movie and watch something like, I don't know, Cinderella, and you wonder, "Hey? Whatever happened after Cinderella and Prince Charming got married?" Did they realize they didn't really know each other at all and have issues? Did she ever tell him her whole story and include talking mice and magical fairy god mothers? It really makes you wonder.
Well for me and my story, everything seemed to go down hill. Just when I thought life was... I don't know, bearable I guess, Regina just couldn't stop being soo selfish. I mean, I guess I should have at least met her halfway, but now that I'm older, I realized that she didn't do what she did for me. She did it for herself and that kind of pisses me off. I was like a toy for her. An excuse really. It wasn't really real. I was just there to keep her happy, even if I wasn't. Oh but it doesn't stop there. Then I realized Emma lied to me, which now I think about it wasn't that big of a deal, but then I learned my father was the son of Rumpelstiltskin, who... ehem... actually considered to killing me. Who also, somehow, talked my grandmother Snow white into killing my other grandmother Cora (Also my step great great grand mother), so she would save Rumplestiltskin. There's actually much more but you get my point.
Long story short. I thought having a family would be great, but all my family is doing is trying to find the best way and excuse to kill each other until they have me. A Little conceited, I know, but really. That's what it looks like. That's what this has always been about. It used to be all about my mother but now it's about me and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of Emma and Neal thinking I can't take care of myself, and I'm tired of my mom being soo selfish that she can't stop playing the victim. I mean, I heard what happened to her and it was terrible, but everyone here in Story Brooke went through something terrible. Everyone. Not just her.
No. I have stop. I don't like thinking about it. I don't like thinking about my family. Yeah, it's definately come to that point. I love them to death, but I can't stand to think about them. Jeez... I can't stand looking at them. It's just one reminder after another, but the biggest one of all is, there is no such thing as happy endings. Well, there are, but they aren't as perfect as you think because there will always be something. Always be something wrong or horrible that you just can't stand and this is mine. My happy ending is, I got my family back, but my misery is, they are all trying to kill each other. I can't even pick a side because I love them all too much.
I look at the bathroom when I feel it coming. It's hot and it's rising fast up my throat. At first I thought it would be empty nausea but now... now I'm pretty sure something will come up. I jump on the toilet as quick as possible, dropping my head in the bowl and my whole dinner yesterday is spewed from my mouth. All floating in the water like mashed potatoes, glowing like neon in different colors and the smell is horrible. When the smell hits you, it gives you another reason to puke. It's strange because when I drink it goes down burning, and it burns when it comes back up.
I'm on the toilet for a good two hours. Two hours of headache and puke. Finally it stops but I still feel sick to my stomach and very weak. I don't like this feeling. I like the feeling better when I was drunk. Nothing was happening. Nothing was going on. I didn't think about anything but what was going on at that moment.
It was during my mental rants do I hear someone knocking on the door and I swear, the noise is like someone hammering a nail in my temple. Staggering back to my feet I flush the toilet and brush my teeth, "Come in!" My voice is broken and it cracks, but I ignore it, because I already know who it is.
"Hey," Grace says quietly pushing the door open.
Immediately I pull her into an embrace. I need this. A real friend. Someone I can actually count on to not annoy me or I don't know... do something stupid. She holds me tight and I move over to my bed because I know she's not strong enough to lift me. She sits down on my bed too and my head falls into her lap. Combing my scalp with her nails, I could literally forget my hangover and fall asleep right now. Ironically Grace has the most sane family in town. Every since her father found her, her life is pretty happy again, which is ironic because her dad is the Mad Hatter. You'd think out of everyone, she'd have the insane after ending. Still, I'm happy she lives pretty peacefully. I truly believe she's dealt with enough. I can only wish the same about my family.
"Henry," she whispers, "Henry would you like me to get you some water?"
I shake my head, "No just... please stay like this."
She laughs a little. Short small laughs and it makes me push myself closer to her. She's the only normal I have left. There are times I've regretted bringing Emma to Storybrooke but then I realize, that's me being selfish too and then I get rid of the thought immediately. It's Grace, actually, who reminds me of it. I tell her a couple of stories and she doesn't say much. She just listens and nods her head. One day she told me, "Be careful what you wish for," and that's when I realized, if I just deal with all my crap now, I could work for a better future. I can do that here. I can. I wouldn't have to wish. I could just do.
To my disappointment, Grace wiggles her way from me and runs to the kitchen. I carefully and slowly follow her, but the floors feel like they're moving and I almost fall a couple of times just to get back to her. She sighs when she see's that I'm up and I lean against the wall. Giving her a smirk as she walks toward me with a tall glass of water. "You need to avoid getting dehydrated. It'll make everything soo much worse," she tells me and I drink the whole glass down staring at her.
I know she wants to ask. She wants to ask what happened and why I did it. Why I stole liquor from Emma's cabinet and why I practically drowned myself, but she won't ask. Trying to spare my feelings and I'm almost disappointed. I kind of want her to ask.
"Emma asked me if I wanted to change my name to Cassidy and Regina wouldn't have it," I told her. She watches me like she usually does. Nodding as she listens, "She then grabbed me and told me I was coming home with her and like usual they fought over me, but I'm not a little kid anymore. I just... I just-"
"Want your own life now," she incredibly finishes. I nod my head. It was really strange how well she knew me and understood me. I wish everyone could but they just can't. They are too busy trying to figure out what's best for me, that they forget. I'm not a kid. I'm old enough to make my own decisions and I have. Maybe some of them weren't smart but they were mine. After a moment of silence she gets up to fill my glass again and before she could walk away I grab her wrist gently. Slowly she turns and looks at me with a smile. That same amazing smile. "What?" she asks as if we just didn't talk about something important. I almost feel that way and it feels great.
I shake my head smiling back, "You are the only normal in my life." Grace doesn't say anything and it's kind of killing me. Her face flushes apple red, she doesn't pull away from me and I can't help myself. The words just slip out, "Please. Don't leave me."
Relaxing a bit, she gives me this look, as if her response should be obvious. She moves closer to me, touching her forehead to mine and says, "Never."
…
Reader's Note
Redid everything! The story is roughly the same but I didn't like the delivery and the whole thing felt half fast, so I'm finally going to continue it and hopefully it's better. You guys tell me what you think!
Please Review!