INT. RONALD'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - DAY
Sundae the dog sits on his dog bed with a tub of popcorn,
laughing hysterically as he watches the nightclub massacre
from "Hellraiser III" on TV. The TV sparks and powers off.
SUNDAE
The hell?
INT. RONALD'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Ronald McDonald excitedly regards a large humming containment
pod sitting in the middle of the room. Sundae slides down a
firepole.
SUNDAE
Ronald! The TV blew out!
RONALD
Oh hey, Sundae. The Dali-izer
probably caused a power surge when
it was warming up.
SUNDAE
The whaterwhat?
Ronald pats the side of the pod.
RONALD
The Dali-izer. It can turn
anything into a work of surrealism.
The ball pit broke down this
morning, but luckily someone dumped
this by the side of the road.
Pretty neat, don't ya think?
He presses a button on the pod, and an entrance panel door
slides opens.
SUNDAE
I think there's a movie called "The
Fly" that you should watch.
RONALD
Cool!
Ronald steps into the pod.
RONALD
I might do that after our hiking
trip today.
SUNDAE
What hiking trip?
RONALD
The one today!
The door slams shut. The pod emits screeching mechanical
noises as a red light flashes on top of it.
RONALD (O.S.)
(screaming)
Oh god! It hurts! It hurts!
Sundae winces at Ronald's cries. The pod stops, and the door
opens.
Ronald's head is now an inflated balloon with an animated
face drawn on it in marker. His body is a wooden barrel with
two elephant trunks for arms and two sledgehammers for legs.
RONALD
How do I look?
SUNDAE
Horrible.
RONALD
Hmm, maybe I need to stay in a
little longer.
Ronald reaches one of his trunk arms out of the pod and hits
the button again.
SUNDAE
Wait, maybe you should reverse -
The door slams shut, and the pod starts up again.
RONALD (O.S.)
(screaming)
Oh god! This is the most
excruciating pain that has ever
been felt by anyone!
The door opens. Ronald is now a toilet balancing on a big
spring. Two pocket watches on the front of the tank make up
his eyes, and shark teeth line the seat that is his mouth.
RONALD
How about now?
SUNDAE
Oh...yeah, looking good.
RONALD
You're just saying that to be nice.
One more round.
A several-foot-long snake extends from Toilet Ronald's toilet
mouth, bending around the door to hit the button with its
face before retracting.
SUNDAE
No. Ronald -
The door slams shut.
SUNDAE
Damn it.
The pod starts up once more.
RONALD (O.S.)
(screaming)
Oh god! This is the torment of a
thousand hells!
The doorbell rings.
RONALD (O.S.)
(screaming)
Could you get that, Sundae?!
EXT. RONALD'S HOUSE - FRONT PORCH - DAY
Birdie, Grimace and Hamburglar stand on the porch, each with
a backpack. Sundae sticks his head out of the dog door.
SUNDAE
Hi, everyone. Ronald's gonna be a
minute.
BIRDIE
Is everything okay?
GRIMACE
Duhhh, yeah, we heard screaming.
Hamburglar holds up a crowbar.
HAMBURGLAR
I was about to break in to make
sure your burgers were safe!
SUNDAE
Everything's fine.
HAMBURGLAR
I'd better have a look at your
burgers anyway!
SUNDAE
Just hang on. Ronald's...putting
on his face.
The door swings open, and Ronald - now transformed into the
KLASKY CSUPO FACE - bursts out.
KLASKY CSUPO RONALD
Hey, guys! Where's the trail mix?!
THE END