Veronica's A/N: Welcome to my and Hel's latest collaboration! We are so excited about this fic, but there is one thing that we want to tell you in advance. Expect updates to be slow. Slower than slow. Awfully slow. It's because both Hel and I have got a lot on our plates right now. Other than that...Read. Enjoy. Love. Review! :)

DISCLAIMER: Veronica & Ellen don't own the show, and that's why in this fic there's a character who's actually dead, in Grey's.
If they owned the show they'd live in LA, Hel would be painting Ellen Pompeo's nails and she wouldn't know what Veronica would be doing with Patrick Dempsey behind closed doors.

Someone like you

Prologue

Meredith

I heard that you're all settled down,
that you've found a girl and you're married now;
I've heard that you dreams came true….
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Meredith stood at the nurses' station, flipping through the research papers that she had gathered over last night. After hours of research on the computer, Meredith had finally found a way that could be used to treat malignant gliomas. Well, the method that she had found out about had been tested only on animals so far, but she had a feeling that if she and Derek worked together on it, they could surely come up with something.

Derek. As soon as the name crossed Meredith's mind, her heart became heavy with inexplicable emotions. She had not talked to Derek since their breakup, and it hurt her to admit it, but she missed him. She missed Derek, she missed talking to him, and she missed the looks he would send her way when they were in the OR together. She missed him, period.

As if right on cue, Meredith watched the elevator doors slide open from the corner of her eye, and the one person that she could not get her mind off of stepped out of it. Derek. Meredith turned her head crabwise to look at Derek as he stepped out of the elevator. He was wearing one of his blue shirts that brought out the bright blue colour of his eyes, and the brown overcoat that he had on gave him a sexy appearance. Meredith could stand there and stare at him all day, without getting tired.

But, problem was, Derek didn't step out of the elevator alone. There was someone with him – Rose. He and Rose had stepped off the elevator together, holding hands, and the sight of their entwined hands was enough to make the bile rise in Meredith's throat. It was easy to pretend with the whole word that she didn't care about Derek and Rose's whereabouts, to put on a strong facade and pretend she was out of their relationship, but deep, inside her heart… She ached. Her heart ached for him.

Meredith watched as Derek laughed softly at something that Rose said to him, and then he leant forward to place a soft kiss against Rose's lips. Meredith's heart ached as she witnessed the scene – it was so damn painful for her to see Derek kissing another woman. She still remembered all too well how those soft, moist lips felt against her own. Yet, Meredith could not tear her eyes away from them. She needed to see that Derek had moved on in his life – without her. He had promised that he would wait for her, but he hadn't.

Derek and Rose whispered softly to each other, before Rose walked away, leaving behind a smiling Derek. Meredith breathed out loudly, her chest aching at the way Derek was smiling. She loved his smile, she did – but not when another woman was the cause for it. The fact that Derek actually looked happy with Rose was enough to send Meredith running for the hills. A part of Meredith had silently hoped that Derek would be miserable with Rose, and then he would come running back to her, but now, as she watched him so happy with Rose, all her previous hopes deflated like a balloon. She had always believed that they were made for each other. Even with all their problems - her trust and commitment issues and his need to rush everything - she wasn't willing to even consider the thought that they would be happy with another person. Since that night at Joe's, years ago, since she had said I don't have a story, I'm just a girl in a bar, Meredith had belonged to Derek and Derek had been a part of Meredith.

Well, probably not anymore, seeing how smitten he seemed to be with that slutty, horse-faced nurse...

Anyway - there was something strange about the whole situation. At first, she had witnessed him with that terrible girl Sydney Heron character; now, here came this Rose chick. Both women were brunettes, and with ecstatic smiles… Quite the opposite of herself. She was blonde, reserved, and dark and twisty, of course. It was like Derek was trying to lose himself into something completely different. Something new.

I don't know if I can keep breathing for you.

Had she hurt him that much? Had she destroyed his ability of loving someone totally and completely?

Don't you see? Don't you understand? You're the love of my life.

But he had hurt her, too. More than he would ever understand. Maybe as much as Thatcher and Ellis did. At first because of Addison. She had felt her heart fall into the ground while he walked across it. Addison was everything she could never be. She was tall, elegant, and magnificent. She was one of the most beautiful woman she had ever seen and she… She was just Meredith Grey. Little, blonde, slutty picking-guys-up-in-bars Meredith Grey.

Yet, he had loved her. At the end, he had chosen her - and then all the rest came along. Thatcher - why most of her problems turned into actual catastrophes when he was around? - and Susan. And Derek had not been able to protect her. He had suffocated her, he and his stupid obsession about suicide…

And here we go. The man she wanted with another girl. An annoying, brunette thing…

How could she actually survive this?

With research. It was the only way. Lose yourself into medicine - the only decent thing Ellis Grey had been able to teach her daughter.

Thank you, mommy dearest.

Meredith saw Derek turn his face towards her, and she immediately averted her eyes and focussed them downwards. She didn't need Derek to catch her staring at him and his perfect girlfriend. So, she kept her gaze trained on the papers in her hand, but she could feel Derek coming towards her.

"Hey," his soft, velvety voice caressed her eardrums, making a shiver run down her spine. Meredith looked up from the papers and locked eyes with him, her heart doing a wild flip in her ribcage.

"Hey," she answered just as softly, looking deeply into his cerulean eyes. She wanted to tell him how much she missed him, she wanted to tell him that she couldn't bear to see him with another woman and yet, she held herself back. Instead, she said, "I did a lot of research last night. And...and I think I found a way to save lives." She pushed the stack of papers towards him, eyeing him carefully.

Derek's eyes filled with slight surprise as he flipped a page and looked at it and then looked up at Meredith. Meredith swallowed hard and said, "Derek, this is not about me, this is not about you, this is not about us. This is about saving lives. And believe me, if I had a choice, I'd take these to another neurosurgeon, but you're one of the best neurosurgeons in this country, so you are my only choice. I – I think that if we work together, we can save lives. It's not personal...It's just – you are the best." Meredith finished her ramble, hoping that she had managed to convince Derek.

Derek didn't respond to her, he just looked at her. He looked at her the same way he always looked at her – like she was the only woman in the world, and that made Meredith's heart skip a beat. No matter how happy Derek looked with his new, bright and shiny girlfriend, he still looked at her that way. It was their special look – a look that Derek only reserved for her, and as Meredith found herself staring back into the two pools of midnight blue, she couldn't help but smile inwardly. Her Derek was still hers – he still gave her the McDreamy look that he gave no one else.

Maybe there was hope for her? Maybe, at the end of the story, Dark and Twisty would have their happy ending. Maybe. Maybe there was something she could do… But what? and most of all...how?

Derek

Never mind I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best, for you, too.
don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said
sometimes it lasts in love, sometimes it hurts instead…

Derek Shepherd entered his office at Seattle Grace Hospital and threw the charts he had in his hands across the room. Frustrated, he kicked a chair.
He had to calm down. This was not working. Again. He felt like he was messing up everything again, right in the moment when things were supposed to slow down. To settle, maybe. And who was responsible, again? The cat-eyed resident he was so much in love with!

Meredith Grey will be the death of me.

He was ready to commit, and to settle down. Ready to focus on a wife, even on kids. And she had shattered his heart in pieces enough for ten decades. That's why he should focus on Rose - funny, calm, sweet, intelligent Rose. Ready-to-settle-down Rose, not a commitment phobic Rose.

Sexy, smart, kickass resident Meredith.

Why did his damn mind always have to come back to Meredith? She had said it clearly enough - it was over. She was not ready (probably, she will never be). She had even accused him of not really wanting her, of just wanting the things she wasn't ready to give him. She was anything but good for him, he knew it all too well. He had spent the past year stressing over her issues, until Cristina and Burke's wedding and her practically breaking up with him in front of the church full of guests. And then, there had been the sex, and the mockery and him wishing he could still hold her, and whispered in her hair how much he loved her…

It was all over.

She was anything but the girl for him.

He had to go on with his life, as simple as that.

But.

But he loved her. He still loved her with everything he had, with every fiber of his being. He still wanted to build a house with her, to come home and find her in panties and her old, ratty Dartmouth shirt, fixing dinner for the both of them. He wanted to have her children, to read them stories at bedtime and snuggle in bed on Saturdays mornings… He wanted to sleep holding her tight to his chest after making love - she was the only woman he wanted to make love to. He wanted her to be the only woman he would have sex with, the only woman he got to fuck, the only lips he wanted on his neck, on his chest, on his cock were hers. Not Rose's, not anyone's. Just Meredith. It was always Meredith. It always would be Meredith…

That was why he got to worry about her. He had studying her for the past months and had witnessed the changes in her… Her hair was losing color, along with her cheeks. Her slim body, before so strong and healthy, went more fragile and weak each day, and her green, usually bright eyes were dark-circled. It seemed like she hadn't slept in weeks and she didn't seem to be eating well either. It would be an understatement if he said that he was worried about her. It looked like she was running herself ragged, and Derek didn't want that. He didn't want anything to happen to his Meredith, but most of all, he was scared. He was scared that he might be the reason behind it all. He was scared that he might be the reason of her undoing. He couldn't live with that knowledge. He couldn't live with the knowledge that he was the reason why Meredith Grey was coming apart at the seams. He would never be able to forgive himself if that ever happened. And so, he made up his mind. He needed to talk to Meredith soon. He needed to talk to her and ask her if she was eating well, sleeping well, and taking care of herself. Maybe he didn't have the right to ask her all that because he was not her boyfriend anymore, but he was still her attending. He could at least ask her about her well-being as her superior – as her mentor and her friend.

Friend. Derek wanted to laugh at that. He knew it was impossible for him and Meredith to be friends. He remembered the last time he and Meredith had tried to be friends – they had ended up making love to each other in an empty exam room. He knew that he and Meredith Grey could never be just friends – they always had had too much spark and passion between them to be friends. But, nonetheless, he had to ask her. Because no matter who he was dating, his heart still beat for only one woman – Meredith Grey.

Ellen's A/N: So here we are… we kept this hidden for a veeeery long time but now we think it's ready to test the waters… We're enjoying writing together soooo very much so you might be OVERWHELMED by our stuff.

So, grab something to drink and join us on this trip back to season 4 (how it should have been done in the first place!)!

Don't forget to review or very bad things will happen to you -