In The Shadows
The classroom was quiet and still. A chilly wind blew and entered the classroom, ruffling the onyx hair of the lad whose head was rested on the mahogany table. Beside him, a girl tucked her loose caramel hair strands behind her ear as she stretched out her legs under the table. Staring at him, she sighed.
It was Valentine's Day.
The only reason that the classroom was safe was because the girl had pleaded with the Class Representative, Yuu Tobita, to disguise the room a day before. She turned to the boy beside her again, feeling totally lost. There was nothing she could do by sitting down next to him, but leaving him out of her sight would just make her thoughts go wild. Just the thought of another silly fan girl surprising a hug from behind him would make her heart explode with jealousy, because for that moment, the fan girl held her entire world. However, she felt weird sitting next to him, doing nothing. It made her feel like she was some possessive girlfriend, which she isn't.
The secret hideout he had made up the ceiling was welcoming him, but he didn't really want to leave her all alone in class. His decision was to stay put in his seat. He knew he was going to lose himself if he sat in the uncomfortable silence with her, staring into space. So, he pretended to sleep to prevent a direct confrontation. Besides, she would never have the heart to reject any suitor. Every smile she gave to another guy as encouragement, his skin would crawl with anger, because for that moment, the guy took his light away from him. Still, he felt uneasy sitting next to her, pretending to be asleep. It made him feel like he was some possessive boyfriend, which he isn't.
Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. Carefully lifting her chair to the back, she stood up and took a look at the lad beside her one last time. She really didn't want to walk away like this. The weight of her heart seemed to get heavier every second, wishing for the lad to look up at her at least once. Look up. Mentally, she scolded herself to stop dreaming. Even dreaming has a limit. As stealthily as she could, she walked to the door.
He lifted his head ever so slightly, peeking at the girl he loved. Her gazed burned into him. The girl was upright and seemed to be hesitating about something. A few seconds later, she started moving away from him at an alarming rate. His heart did a double flip and he stood up rashly, yet silently, his both hands on the table. Look back; look back at him, the boy thought as hard as he could. If only she looked back at him, she would see him gazing at her. Words were stuck like chewing gum in his throat. He wanted to call out to her, so she would look back. However, someone was a step faster than him.
"Mikan, are you in there?" Another boy's voice was heard as the door opened. A handsome young guy with golden blonde hair and ultramarine eyes stood at the door. Mikan's eyes widened in surprise, wondering why had Yuu let him in. Ruka broke into a smile and remarked, "There you are. I was looking all over for you."
"Is there anything you want, Ruka?" She inquired as she flashed a small smile at him.
"Well," Ruka answered as his eyes roamed around the room, noticing his best friend there for the first time. "I didn't know you were with Natsume. This reminds me, Hotaru was looking all over for you. You might want to find out what she wanted from you."
No, Natsume didn't really care about her. She probably was trying to blackmail him again for her own purposes. Their relationship had always been like this: her holding a blunt dagger at his throat, him rolling his eyes at her ridiculous behaviour. However, he never really managed to word that out to anyone. Besides, Mikan was relatively happy that there seemed to be something between them. Sure, both of them had many suitors, and because of that, many people put them together like that. Not to mention that the two of them happened to be the type of people who never cared about rumours.
Her heart was greatly saddened by the news but who was better for him than her best friend? Hotaru was smart, beautiful and talented, much better than her. All she wanted was Natsume to be happy. If anyone could do it the best, it would probably be Hotaru. Mikan forced a smile on her face and encouraged, "You should go look for her as soon as you can."
His heart was saddened by the news. Her words jabbed his heart like a million needles, numbing his heart with pain. He watched his best friend flickered around Mikan and knew that he loved her. He didn't think his best friend could love her like he did, but he couldn't say it out loud. He couldn't give her up to anyone, not even to his best friend but if she was happy... Instead, he gave a quick nod and answered, "Yeah, yeah, little girl. Run along with Ruka."
No, Mikan really did not feel any special relationship with Ruka but she didn't say it out loud. She was afraid of hurting Ruka's feelings. He may not be special but he was a good friend. Their relationship had always been like this: him fluttering towards her like a mesmerized butterfly, her standing shyly like a flower rooted to the ground. Sure, there were many rumours flying about them together but they had never been official about it. Not to mention that the both of them was too embarrassed to clarify or admit the real facts.
Without another word, Natsume started walking away, his heart dying a little bit with every step.
Biting back words to stop him, Mikan watched him walked away from her, her heart dying a little bit with every step.
Sometimes I say, I just want to see you happy. But deep in my heart, I still want your happiness with me.