Shayna Cowan-MacDonald
8-25-11
English
Contents of a Dead Man's Pockets
I saw my life flashing before my eyes as the world disappeared around me how stupid it all had been all of this over something that seemed to big that is now not even relevant. A piece of paper; did I really just die for that little paper? I was still waiting to wake up for this all to be a dream or for someone to swoop down and save me but it wasn't coming and I knew that. I realized just then that there was so much I hadn't done in my short life span. Things I would never get to do. I would never get to tell my mom I'm sorry for all I've put her threw, never get to see my little brother grow up and become a man. Never get to kiss or hug them again or meet that one special person who I would spend the rest of my life with, who I would marry and have kids with. I wouldn't have that special someone to love and cherish, or share my joy and happiness with. I didn't take risks I was too scared I never even told the guy I was crushing on since seventh grade how I felt. No one would see me anymore, my smile or embrace my crazy personality, now just a memory to whoever wanted to remember me. Which made me think I was at the mercy of people to remember me but who would? Of course my family but did I even make a difference? To anyone? No it didn't seem that I had and now here I am plummeting to my death waiting to hit the pavement below.
I felt kind of sorry for the person who would find my cold lifeless body leaving them to wonder how I came to be. Was it suicide? My life may have been rough at times but honestly I could never think of that maybe their ideas will change if they check my pockets. Honestly I didn't quite think I'd be dying anytime soon so I don't have my wallet on me with all my information on it but I had something just as good… a picture. A picture of me and my family and friends all smiling and having a good time. Hopefully when and if they found it they'd realize that this had to be an accident and that I don't want to die but live, to live life to the fullest or did anyway. Although I didn't win the Nobel peace prize or become president I was still pretty happy with what I had done and that had to count for something right?
As I hit the ground I had a small smile upon my face instantly my soul left the inhabited body but I could see everything around me I was having an out of body experience. I could see the people start to crowed and panic others calling 9-1-1. I laid there motionless lying in my own blood that was staring to pool around me. One brave soul decided to step forth and check if I was still alive as he knelt down he checked my pulse determining that there was none for I had been dead since I hit the ground. The people began to whisper and I felt myself grow sad as I listened to their theories of how I feel. Almost all of them were sure it was suicide. I watched as he went to my pockets and took out the picture he shook his head and quietly said "You're wrong" he paused for a long time silencing the people that stared at him before he started again. He held the photo close to his face as if memorizing it; the corner was all red from the blood it soaked up. "There's no way this girl could've done this to herself she was happy she had family and friends who clearly loved her I wouldn't want to give this up would you?" the crowd stared while taking in his words. They were all sad and looked to be ashamed of their previous thoughts. Sirens sounded as emergency response vehicles arrived. Men put me on a stretcher and placed a sheet over my lifeless body a little blood seeping through.
The next thing I saw my own funeral I guess you could say it was a bit ironic I had always wanted to see it to see who cared enough to come, who would cry and morn over my death. But now that it was actually happening I wish I could take it back, I hated seeing my friends cry but even more my family. I watched as my mom slowly let tear glide down her cheeks trying to be strong for my brother who was sobbing into her dress. I surveyed the room when my eyes landed on that man, the one who defended my sanity against the tough judgment of other people. I found myself smiling a small sad smile at him. Everyone came and paid their respects and I watched as they all cried and touched a large picture of me before taking their seats. My mom said a speech as did a few of my closer friends. I had always wondered if anyone had truly cared when I actually was alive but now I see that they did. I wish I would've known before even my crush was there he whispered quietly I wouldn't have heard him if I wasn't right next to him staring down at myself along with him. "I'll miss you I'm so sorry your gone I'll never get to tell u how I felt" his face saddened more as my eyes widened. Why! Why did I lean out of the window when that paper blew away? It wasn't like anyone would know that it was mine but when it went out the window I wasn't thinking I wish I could've taken it all back…
I woke up in a cold sweat the covers at my feet breathing deeply in and out as I recalled my dream. It felt so realistic… so surreal. I looked around the room it was pitch black my eyes fell upon my clock 4:23 a.m. I sighed in relief it was all a dream, all of it. I lay back down and decided I would live my life right and to the fullest to change someone and make a difference, accomplished but most of all be bold take chances after all you only get one chance at life right?