NOTE: Confession Cam dialogue are in italics.

Total Pokemon Island

Chapter 1:

"Welcome to Hell!"

Absol sat on the dock with Salamence.

"Hello!" Absol said, "And welcome to Total Pokemon Island! I'm your host, Absol, and this is my co-host and crappy cook, Salamence!"

"Gee, thanks." Salamence grumbled. "Give this man a trophy for subtlety."

"Anyways," Absol continued, "here's how it will work. 30 Pokemon will serve as contestants, 6 from each region. Each will compete for 1,000,000 Poke in intense and brutal challenges. Whichever team loses the challenge will go to the dreaded campfire ceremony and vote one of their team members off to leave forever. This process will go on until only one person is left standing, making him/her the winner."

"Speaking of him/her…" Salamence announced, "Here comes the first boat!"

The first boat pulls up and out comes a light blue turtle Pokemon with a hard shell on his back.

"Squirtle!" Absol cheered. "Our starter from the Kanto region! I'm guessing they'll bring everyone in National Pokedex order?"

"I guess so." Said Squirtle, waddling over to see the next boat pulling up, revealing a small brown bird with a shot, hooked beak. His underbelly is beige and the tips of his wings are pinkish-red.

"Spearow!" Absol announced.

"There goes an idea for a skydiving challenge…" Salamence moaned.

"We had an idea for a skydiving challenge?" Absol asked.

"Uh…." Salamence said, "Yeah."

"Oh…" Absol said. "That would've been a good idea."

"Uh…." Spearow uttered. "Sorry?"

Spearow fluttered over to Squirtle.

"What's up?" Squirtle asked.

"Nothing much." Spearow replied.

"Next we have…." Absol said, observing the next boat. "It's Vulpix!"

A small, fox-like Pokemon with orange locks and tails got off her boat. Her eyes were pupil-less and her body was a darker shade of orange.

"Oh my god." Vulpix said in disgust. "What a load of…"

"Which leads us to our next camper!" Absol interjected. "It's Geodude!"

A levitating, gray boulder Pokemon got off his boat. He had bulging, rocky eyebrows and five muscular fingers on each hand.

"What's up, guys?" Geodude asked. "I'm so, like, buff!"

"Eww." Vulpix said. "I'd much be back home in Kanto in my mansion."

"Mansion?" Squirtle asked.

"You heard me." Vulpix said with a smirk.

"Next is…." Absol started. "Eevee!"

A small, brown, and furry Pokemon wandered out of her boat. The tip of her tail has a cream color to it.

"Wow." Eevee said in wonder. "This wasn't on the brochure."

"Yeah, well…" Absol said. "We don't have the BEST budget."

"I'm working for minimum wage." Salamence said sadly.

"Don't worry, buddy." Absol said reassuringly. "You'll get to torture the campers soon enough."

"Yay!" Salamence cheered.

"That wasn't on the brochure either." Said Eevee, running in fear.

"The final Kanto Pokemon is….." Absol said with suspense. "…..Kabuto!"

A tan shellfish scuttled off of his boat using it's small, yellow-tan legs. It had two pairs of eyes, one on top of his shell and another underneath the shell.

"Woop woop!" Kabuto cheered. "Kabuto in the hizzay!"

"Woop woop!" Spearow cheered.

"You guys are freaking insane." Vulpix mumbled.

"Now we are waiting for the Johto Pokemon!" Absol announced.

"And look whose coming!" Salamence said.

"It's….."Absol said with suspense. "…. Cyndaquil!"

A mouse-like fire Pokemon scurried out of her boat. Flames erupted from her blue-furred back.

"Hey guys!" Cyndaquil squealed. "I'm so happy to be here!"

"Well we're happy you're here!" Absol said.

"Now go away." Salamence remarked.

"Oh, shut up." Vulpix moaned.

"Whoa…" Spearow swooned. "I think I'm in love."

"With Cyndaquil?" Squirtle asked.

"No," Spearow said.

"Oh. Who, then?" asked Squirtle.

Off the next boat came a green bird with a spherical body with yellow-and-red wings with black stripes and a red crest on the top of her head.

"Natu!" Absol announced.

"Hey!" Natu greeted.

Spearow sighed. "She's wonderful."

"That actually makes sense." Squirtle said.

"What, am I ugly?" Cyndaquil snaped, offended her flames flaring.

"No," Squirtle replied, "It's that they're both birds."

"Oh…" Cyndaquil said, calming down. "Sorry for yelling. I'm self conscious." She adds shyly.

"Aren't we all?" Squirtle assured. Cyndaquil giggles.

"Hi, Spearow!" Spearow blubbered. "I'm Natu! I mean…"

Natu chuckled. "You're funny."

"You hear that?" Spearow asked Squirtle.

"Loud and clear." Squirtle answered, giving him the thumbs up.

"Next up is….." Salamence began.

"Aipom!" Absol shouted.

A purple monkey Pokemon is revealed sleeping on his boat. He had an oval shaped head, a cowlick, big ears, and a three fingered hand on the end of his tail.

Aipom suddenly woke up and shouted, "I didn't do it!"

"What?" Salamence asked.

"Uh…" Aipom said awkwardly, "Just kidding! Hahaha!"

Everyone looked at Aipom in silence.

"Well…. Okay." Said Aipom, walking over to Vulpix. "Hey there."

"Don't even think about it." Vulpix growled.

"What do you mean?" Aipom said innocently. "I was just saying hi."

"Hey, Aipom." Eevee said happily. "I'm Eevee."

"Hi, Eevee," Aipom replied, "I'm Aipom."

"Here comes…" Absol announced. "…. Snubbull!"

A pink bulldog with blue spots on its belly stomped off. Her flat ears had black tips.

"Oh. Mah. Gawd." Snubbull exclaimed. "Like OH MAH GAWD! This place looks like my uncle's giant goiter. And that does not look PRETTY!"

"Okay," Vulpix said to herself. "You have the closet personality to mine."

"Hey, gurl!" Snubbull waved to Vulpix.

"Hey!" Vulpix replied.

"Next up is…." Absol continued, "….. Houndour!"

A dog with short, black fur sauntered off the boat. He had fangs, a dark nose, white bands on his ankles, and a skull hat.

"Hey, guys." Houndour greeted.

"With Tyrogue!" Absol advanced, "The last of our Johto Pokemon!"

A purple pokemon with brown "shorts", "shoes", and a spiky mohawk pops up next to the dog Pokemon.

"Wahoo!" Tyrogue cheered.

"Tyrogue?" Houndour shouted. "How the hell did you get on my boat?"

"I hid in a crate." Tyrogue said innocently with a smile.

"Not cool." Houndour scolded.

"Whatever." Tyrogue said, sauntering over to Spearow and Squirtle.

"Hey, man." Squirtle welcomed. "I'm Squirtle and this is Spearow."

"Hi, Squirtle and Spearow." Tyrogue responded.

"Now for the Hoenn region." Absol announced. "It's our homeland." He adds, signaling to himself and Salamence.

"Here comes….. Torchic!"

An orange bird flitted off of her boat. She was covered in orange and yellow feathers and had yellow talons.

"What's up, guys?" Torchic asked.

"Nothing much." Natu answered.

"Cool, I guess." Torchic remarked.

"Yeah." Natu said.

"Next is…." Absol continued. "…. It's Lotad!"

A blue Pokemon with a green, leafy top and a yellow beak, came off the boat.

"I'm finally here!" Lotad sighed.

"That's wonderful and all," Salamence said, annoyed. "But here comes our next contestant!"

"It's Sableye!" Absol yelled.

A dark purple Pokemon with gemstone eyes and a Sharpedo Tooth necklace came off the boat.

"That's my name." Sableye shrugged. "Don't wear it out."

"Wow, he's so hot!" Cyndaquil whispered to Natu and Torchic.

"How dreamy." Torchic swooned.

"Eh, not really." Natu disregarded.

"Hey, girls." Sableye said. "How are you doing?"

"Amaaaaaaazing, Sableye." Torchic, Vulpix, Snubbull, and Cyndaquil swooned.

"Next is…." Absol announced. "….. Illumise!"

A black and blue firefly fluttered off her boat. She had purple hair and ankle bands.

"Yay!" Illumise cheered. "I'm, like, here now! Yay! Let's throw a, like, party!"

"I'm in LOVE." Kabuto swooned.

"Next up is….." Absol continued. "….. Seviper!"

A scrunched-up snake slithered off the boat. She had yellow hexagons in places on her body, purple scars, and red fangs and bladed tail.

"Hey guysssssssssss." Seviper hissed. "How'sssssssssss it going?"

"Pretty good." Houndour replied. "You?"

"I'm doing ssssssssssssssssssssswell." Seviper hissed back.

"Why do you talk like thisssssssssss?" asked Tyrogue.

"Watch it, busssssssster." Seviper quipped.

"And the final contestant arriving from the Hoenn region is…" Absol began, "Spheal!"

A round, blue, baby-like seal Pokemon hopped off her boat.

"Yahoo!" Spheal cheered. "I can't believe I made it on the show!"

"We can't either." Vulpix uttered.

"Really?" Spheal asked naively. "Me neither!"

"This will be a LONG summer." Vulpix whined.

"I know! It will be so FUN!"

"Go away."

"Now for the Sinnoh region." Salamence announced. "Let's see who will be first!"

"It's…." Absol paused. "…. Turtwig!"

A green, tortise-like Pokemon scuttled off her boat. She had yellow feet and jawbone, plus a twig on her head and a shell on her back.

"What up?" asked Turtwig.

"Fun!" Spheal cheered.

"Angst." Vulpix said.

"Interesting." Turtwig said awkwardly. "Hey look, it's…"

"Don't steal my line!" Absol shouted, annoyed.

"Sorry…." Turtwig apologized.

"Next is Buizel!" Absol continued.

An orange weasel with blue fins, a yellow collar, two tails, and a green tint to his face stumbled off of his boat.

"I'm so dizzy…." Buizel moaned. He ran off his boat and puked off the side of the dock.

"Nasty!" Natu cringed.

"Really?" Torchic yelled.

"I get…" Buizel said, stopping to puke again, then spoke. "Sick very easily."

"A squeamish one, you are!" Spheal laughed.

"Leave him alone!" Cyndaquil scolded.

"Sorry…." Spheal apologized.

"It's…" Absol continued, "Glameow!"

A gray cat with a spring-like tail with a white puff at the end saunters off of her boat. She had white-tipped ears and was chewing a blade of grass.

"Hey, guys." Glameow said with a bit of a Southern drawl.

"Eww." Vulpix said in disgust. "Your one of those Orebourgh people."

"And you're one 'a them Saffron folk." Glameow scoffed.

"And proud of it." Vulpix said.

"Sure." Glameow said with annoyance.

"Next up is Gible!" Absol announced.

A small, pudgy, and blue dragon waddled out of her boat. She had no neck, but she had a mouth full of sharp teeth, two oval-shaped horns, and a single light blue stripe across her back.

"So I'm here!" Gible said with his Midwestern accent. "You betcha!"

"You talk funny." Aipom pointed out.

"So my trainer sounds funny too, don'tcha know?" Gible answered. "Got any pop?"

"Pop?" Aipom asked.

"Uff da! Oh, never mind." Gible ignored. "So I'll stay quiet and watch everyone arrive."

"Next up is Riolu!" Absol announced.

A small blue dog-like Pokemon hopped off of his boat. He had a black "mask", torso, and legs. On the back of his forepaws, he had rounded bumps. He had a yellow collar and a dark blue tail.

"I'm here already?" Riolu asked rhetorically. "I've only trained for a little while."

Tyrogue scoffed. "You think you're so tough, eh? Come at me with all you got!"

"Okay." Riolu said blandly. "FORCE PALM!"

Tyrogue was sent flying off the dock and into the water.

"Arrgh! Glug glug!" Tyrogue flailed. "I misunderstood you!"

"Idiot." Houndour sneered.

"Last for the Sinnoh Pokemon is Croagunk!" Absol cheered.

A dark blue frog with white "bandages" around his waist jumped off his boat.

"Hey, guys." Croagunk wheezed.

"You sound funny." Aipom repeated.

"So, make fun of people, why don'tcha?" Gible shouted.

"Whatever." Croagunk ignored.

"Now for the overrated Unova Pokemon!" Salamence grumbled.

"First up is Oshawott!" Absol announced.

A light-blue otter with a shell on her belly, a white head with blue ears, and a blue tail sauntered off her boat.

"Now that I've gotten here…" Oshawott began.

"…..Followed by Pidove, Drilbur, Darumaka, Zorua, and Golett!" Absol announced.

The Pokemon all shuffled off of their boat (which they shared). Pidove was a small gray bird with a short black beak and spiky hair. The gray Drill Pokemon with blue streaks across his body and giant claws (one was bandaged because he forgot he was on a boat at the time he got it) was known as Drilbur. Darumaka was a red circular Pokemon with three yellow circles on his chest and curly yellow eyebrows. Zorua was a gray fox with red tips on her tuft of hair and her feet. Golett was a blue automaton with brown straps on its body, with a blue square with a yellow swirl in it.

"Come on!" Oshawott screamed. "REALLY? Ruin my entrance? Gee, thanks."

"You're welcome!" Pidove said innocently.

Oshawott gived Pidove the stink eye, and he shuts up.

"Sorry, we have a tight schedule." Absol continued, "Before you go, I want to show you the confessional."

Salamence gestures towards an outhouse with the show's logo on it, and continued. "This is where you go to get things off your chest. Anyone want to try?"

"Uff da!" Gible exclaimed.

"I like it." Houndour said. "For a crap house."

"Like, totally ew." Snubbull said in disgust.

"Cool." Golett said simply.

"Pack up, and we'll see you guys later!" Absol said.

"I'm so excited!" Spheal squealed.

"Yeah," Aipom agreed, "Me too!"

"Oh, Arceus." Zorua, Drilbur, and Darumaka said at the same time.