June 12th. Just another day at the office for you. Who are you, anyway? Tell us about yourself.
Oh, I see.
Your name is Sollux Captor, but to everyone except friends and family you'd prefer Officer Captor. It sounds more professional. Currently, your partner, Officer Pyrope, is laughing like a maniac over at the coffee machine. You sigh, leaning back in your chair and propping your feet up on your desk. You feel like you're entitled to that, at least.
You signed onto the police force when you were a measly eight sweeps old (the equivalent of about seventeen years to you weird humans). Terezi Pyrope, your partner, was a certain Vriska Serket's partner…until Officer Serket was dismissed from the force. Now she's your partner, and you have to deal with her maniacal laughing, weird smell-sight, and obsession with the color red. She painted your police car red, for crying out loud. You're still pretty pissed about that.
"H3Y! H3Y, SOLLUX!" you look up, not because you want to, however, and see her leaning over you, two mugs of coffee in her hands. "YOU LOOK L1K3 YOU COULD US3 4 W4K3-UP. OR 4 P1CK-M3-UP."
"A wake up ii2 fiine." You've had a lisp your entire life. You hate this fact, because you think it makes you sound kind of stupid and unprofessional.
You grab the mug of coffee and take a sip, ignoring that it's so hot that it burns your tongue a little before going down. Then you have a sudden thought.
"…just how much caffeiine diid you put iin thii2?" You narrow your bi-colored eyes at the dark brown liquid, suddenly suspicious.
"OH, NOT MUCH. YOU WONT D13 FROM 1T, 1F TH4TS WH4T YOUR3 WOND3R1NG." She begins to laugh again, grinning, showing her many, many, pointed teeth. You sigh, fighting off the migraine that is threatening to blossom like a flower after an Ice Age.
"…plea2e." You close your eyes, breathing deeply. "Would you plea2e 2hut up?"
"HUH?" She stops, staring at you. "MR. 4PPL3B3RRY BL4ST, WH4T3V3R DO YOU M34N? 1M NOT DO1NG 4NYTH1NG. NOTH1NG 4T 4LL. 4LSO, 1 S1GN3D US ONTO 4 N3W M1SS1ON."
You turn your head so fast that you can hear your neck crack, fixing her with a look of slightly slack-jawed disbelief. "Wiithout telliing me?"
"1TLL B3 SO FUN, SOLLUX!" There she goes, using your name again. You've told her fifty bajillion times to call you "officer" at least. "R34LLY! 1TS 4 H4RD ON3!"
"…fiine." You stand up wearily, sighing heavily when the ache comes back to your muscles. You were running around all last night on another mission that Miss Pyrope had been so nice as to select. God, that mission drove you insane. "Let2 cliimb iinto the Humiiliiatiion Mobiile."
"WH4T?" She walks out of the office beside you, walking fast on her shorter legs so that you have to keep up. "R3D 1S TH3 MOST D3L1C1OUS COLOR, SOLLUX! 4ND NOW W3 G3T TO DR1V3 4ROUND 1N 4 C4R P41NT3D 4LL OV3R W1TH TH4T H34V3NLY SH4D3!"
"Nobody can 2mell colors except for you." You mutter. It's almost become your mantra, you say it so much.
"DO3S 1T LOOK L1K3 1 C4R3?" She cackles, and then launches into another laughing fit, shrieking and hooing and hawing so that the entire city can hear. You sigh once more. How did you get roped with such a crazy partner?
At lea2t we balance each other out. You think as you climb into the driver's seat of your completely red police car, feeling a twinge of annoyance when you realize how ridiculous you're about to look. IIf we were both crazy, II don't thiink II could handle iit.
"Trollcops" is one of the best songs EVER!
This is sort of loosely based off of the Trollcops roleplay group they have going on deviantArt. In it Terezi and Sollux are actually partners, and Terezi used to be Vriska's partner.
In short: INSPIRATION STRUCK. I ANSWERED.
R&R please! Constructive criticism is appreciated!