Melt

Melt

a yami no matsuei fanfiction

You

You with silky dark hair always falling into your eyesthose purple eyes of a shade so deep and bright they resemble nothing so much as living amethysts

You of the cheerfully beguiling smile and the frank directness you treat everyone with

You of the bottomless stomach and irritating playfulness

You with the past guarded so carefully, letting almost no one past your defences

You who have thrown me off-balance more times than I can count.

You.

I don't understand you, but I want to.

You have no idea how much.

~~~~

Heaven knows why, but I trust you. Perhaps overly so, to the point where you are starting to mean something more than just a partner to me, or even a friend. Yet I have no idea *what* you mean to me. Maybe because I'm scared to know, scared to think of someone having the power to thaw my frigid mask and tear down my barriers. I don't want to think of you becoming so important to me.

Maybe because you already have.

It's strange. I can read emotions; you are no exception. But why can't I see anything when I try to find myself in your heart?

It hurts, something else I can't understand.

~~~~

Do you trust me? I don't think you do, and I can't blame you for it. Why would a boy so much younger, who always pushes you away deserve your trust?

What am I to you?

You who are a full ten years my senior, do you still see me as a child? It certainly seems that way.

Stop ruffling my hair, as if I was a younger brother, or even your son. Stop compromising yourself for me when I can't keep up. Why can't you stop coddling me? I hate my body, this piece of flesh trapped in the growth of sixteen years that will never fully mature, never catch up to you physically...

Give me a chance to try and even it out with you on the mental side, at least.

~~~~

Too few people can read the sadness always present in your eyes, hidden pain that shadows your soul and clouds your heart.

People are only human when they care and are cared for. You fall into both categories with full marks. What will it take to convince you the past wasn't any fault of yours?

Grief doesn't become you, and yet it seems almost a part of yourself. It rears its ugly head in many things you do far too often; fake too-bright smiles, forced cheerfulness, empty, faraway looks in your eyes when you think no one is watching.

If I could take that grief away, if I could do anything to heal youI would.

But I can't, because you won't let me. Or anyone else, for that matter.

~~~~

II want

I don't know what I want.

All I know isI'm happy when we're together. I may beat you up, ignore you, or say you're hopeless, but I'm always happy if you're by my side. Talk to metease metouch mejust stay with me.

Like I'll stay with you forever.

If I fall, I know there's a high possibility of you catching me.

That's why I'll also try my best to catch you.

And I don't want anyone else to catch me but you. Ever.

~~~~ owari ~~~~