In honor of the Christian Holiday of Easter, I've decided to write this story.
It is back when none of the citizens knew of the curse, and Lumpy dies (and rises as well).
It's gonna be short, 4-5 chapters.
Enjoy, review
Cuddles wipes a tear from his cheek. Lumpy, one of his best friends in the entire world, had met a tragic fate at the hands of The Mole's car. Ironically, since they didn't have a hearse in the town, the violet car was the one carrying Lumpy's body. It was a dark night, and He, Lumpy, and Toothy had been playing jump rope. Lumpy didn't notice he was in the street, and The Mole wouldn't have seen him anyways. Atleast for the sake of his friends, Lumpy did not suffer. Cuddles drove into the cemetary, which despite smelling like a blossoming garden, was shrouded in a grey fog and stained by golden embalming fluid surfacing from the decaying bodies. It was very early in the morning, and Venus could be seen in the sky.
Everyone was wearing black, and it was silent. They were waiting for the priest to come and lead them in saying farewell. Cuddles's eyes leaped from the casket, to the grave, and then to a shopping cart tied to a motorcycle that was trying to park. Cuddles rolled his eyes when he sees who was coming out. It was Fritz with a black suit and a collar; It occured to Cuddles that like the hearse, the priest was an incompetent, cheap shortcoming of a substitute. In other words, they gave the Failure a place of responsibility.
Fritz walks up to the side of the grave. Toothy, Pop, and Truffels are lowering the coffin into the large grave. Fritz pulls out a Bible and index card, squints at the card, and recites it to himself. "On this day of our beloved friend's death, we are here to remember Lumpy, Lawyer, Doctor, Friends, Father, Priest, Yak Herder, Crack dealer, Redneck, Friend,...uh, er, shit that's a lot of stuff...and etc. As he ascends, or descends, the latter of the two being most likely, we lay his body to rest in this hollow soil, we remember that bible thing...Asche zu Asche und staub zu staub, zu die Erde... Fuck this shit, Fritz out" He tosses the card and the Bible into the grave with Lumpy. Fritz hops on the motorcycle, and accidentally reverses into an open grave. Truffels, Toothy, and Pop exchange smirks.
"Don't worry, You two go bury Fritz. I can bury Lumpy myself." He assures. Pop and Toothy run over to the crash, and frantically begin shoveling dirt into the hole. Cuddles walks away, indignated because of the horrible funeral the idiots of the town threw together at the last moment. He gets in his car, but hesitates to leave. He didn't have any desire to leave his friend behind, even if he had died. He rested his hands on his lap, reclined the chair, and closed his eyes. As sleep closed it's jaws on Cuddles, the last of Fritz's screams subsided in Cuddles's ear.
Fritz brushes himself off, and spits out a wad of dirt. " Verdammt noch mal, Pop. Ich will verdammt sein Haus sprengen, Damn you Pop, I will Fucking blow up your house!" He mumbles angrillyto himself. He looks up at the sky. It was around 4:45 a.m. when Toothy and Pop buried him alive, and now it was 1:00 a.m. Fritz gives a disgusted grunt, and looks back at the vehicles, partially submerged in mulch. He then glances at himself. Golden embalming fluid was dripping from his poncho, and he sighed. "Jesus Christus, diese Leute gehen, um mich zu töten, Jesus Christ, These people are going to kill me." Fritz looks over and sees Lumpy's headstone. Like everything else at the funeral, it was poorly made, and already self-destructing. But something besides the block of salt (or headstone) sitting behind Lumpy's grave was amiss. Fritz walks to the top of the hill where Lumpy was laid to rest. Some soil was moving, and the little grains rolled away. A mound of dirt formed around the center point of the disturbance. Out from this moundappeared nine light blue fingers. Some more dirt rolls away, until the top of a blue head appears. Fritz backs away slowly, as antlers and eyes appear. Lumpy's snout emerges, and his head turns to face Fritz, who is motionless in a state of horror. The moose opens his mouth, about to communicate to Fritz from beyond the grave, breaking everything Fritz knew about the laws of nature;
"Hug." The moose grunts and the towering moose falls forward. Fritz's face contorts into an expression of horror, and he bolts the other way. He folded his hands and shouted in a desperate tone. "Es ist das Ende der Tage! Lauft um euer Leben, es war nicht meine Schuld! Ersparen Sie mir, Herr! It is the End of Days! Run for your lives, it's not my fault! Spare me, Lord!"
He leaps up onto the black iron bars, tugging on them, frantically trying to tear a way through. Red blood pours out from his clenched fists, and he slides down the bars. He turns to see Lumpy running after him. Foam bubbles from his mouth, and vomit dribbles down his poncho. He begins coughing, then purging. His abdominal muscles seize, causing him to keel over, and his limbs begin to spasm, all the while still clinging to the rusted metal bars. Lumpy grabs his shoulder, and Fritz leaps a foot into the air. After another fit of vomiting, he turns to face Lumpy, twitching.
"Fritz, Do you mind reporting that drunk driver to the police?"
I intended to make it funny, but Fritz got caught in the plot. He's got a featuring role. And will die. Ironically.
Review, even flame.
Frohe Ostern, Christen. Or, Happy Easter, Christians.
Everyone else have a good time all the same.