"They're never comin' down now," Chandler said in a breathless, husky voice after Janice shut the door behind him, leaving him in the living room alone in the house next door to theirs.
Well, it wasn't technically "theirs" yet, but in - he looked down at his watch - 2 hours and 13 minutes escrow would close and the house next door would indeed be the Bing family's new home.
He let out a deep breath and sighed, turning toward the dining room where his wife had quickly hidden herself when Janice came back in the front door moments earlier. Neither of them had a clue how they were going to convince "the Janices" not to buy the house. Suddenly they were out of time, so she'd left her husband to fend for himself to find a way once-and-for-all to ditch his ex-girlfriend.
"Oh my God!" he heard Monica suddenly exclaim from her hiding place.
Chandler did a double take as his wife emerged from the shadows, a half smile now faltering on his face. Her eyes were blazing at him.
"She's gone," he said, with an overly hopeful slap of his hands but a confused look on his face. "They're not gonna bid on the house. Yay."
He did a mini-version of his happy dance, but Monica looked like she had steam coming out of her ears.
She crossed her arms and glared at him. She knew she was being somewhat unreasonable, but hearing her husband tell his ex-girlfriend he's still in love with her sent a shockwave through her. She wasn't expecting that to be his tactic. Monica honestly didn't know what Chandler was going to do to make Janice go away, but as she stood there listening to the conversation between the two, she got more and more upset by the second.
Janice still had a thing for her husband, after two marriages and at least three kids, and Chandler had done nothing to discourage her in the least.
"What?" he said finally, shrugging up his shoulders,
"What?" Monica said, then repeated hotly, throwing her hands up in the air, "What do you mean 'what?!"
"Just what I said," he shot back, hands on his hips. "What are you so fired up about? She's gone!"
"But for how long?" she said, pointing aggressively at the front door. When he gave her a blank stare in return she threw her hands down to her sides, her eyes wide at her husband.
"Oh my God, you never really will break up with her, will you?"
"What are you talking about?" he said, his voice getting squeaker by the second. He was incredulous. He'd won. They'd won! Janice wasn't moving in next door. Who cared what he did to accomplish that mission?! One look at Monica, though, answered his question.
"Seriously, Mon," he said, walking toward her, trying to calm the tension between them. "You didn't really think I meant any of that, did you? I mean, come on, that's crazy!"
"Is it?" she asked, backing away from him. "Is it?! Let's review."
And with that she walked passed him and started pacing, launching into his past attempts to ditch his former flame. Chandler turned toward her, mouth agape.
"How many times did you try to break up with her, only to eventually go back to her?" she said. "Five, six?"
"That was forever ago!" he said, throwing up his hands, but she ignored him.
"Then you went to 'Yemen,'" she said, sarcastically making air quotes with her fingers. "No breaking up. And remember, remember when she wanted to come to our wedding and...and we told her you still had feelings for her!"
"That was your idea…"
"And she told you to call her when we broke up," she said, still pacing while ticking off the moments on her fingers. "And now...now she thinks you still love her!"
Chandler blinked dumbly at her a moment, before a slow understanding came into his mind.
"Monica, are you jealous?" he asked, a mix of shock and bemusement on his face. "Are you jealous of Janice?"
"Of course not!" she said, with a wave of her hand. She looked up at him, the same fury in her eyes, but now standing still with her arms wrapped around herself and a little pout on her angry face. "I just don't see why you had to...had to tell her that to get her to go away."
He stepped a little closer to her, trying not to smile at the absurdness of it all.
"Honey, there is not another thing that has ever worked," he said, his voice a little softer now. "Normally me telling a woman I love her is the kiss of death, you being the exception, of course."
He gave her his little lopsided grin and Monica couldn't help but smirk back at him. She tightened her crossed arms and looked away a moment before looking him in the eye again.
"Did she kiss you?" she asked.
"Uhhh…yes?" he stammered, raising his eyebrows and wincing.
"Don't answer in the form of a question, Chandler, did she kiss you?"
He sighed, put his hands on his hips and dropped his head, sucking in his bottom lip in the process and nodded.
"I knew it!" Monica said as she balled her fists at her sides and cast a glance at the front door. "I should go kick her a…"
She was suddenly silenced when Chandler quickly stood in front of her, cupped her upper arms and pulled her to him, his lips landing on hers. She tried to mumble "what are you doing" but his mouth wouldn't let hers go. She felt herself relax and her elbows bend, moving her hands to his hips as he lifted his palms to her cheeks, deepening their kiss. She moaned as his hands moved into her hair.
She sighed as he slowly broke away, her pupils dilated as her lips turned up at the corners.
"You didn't kiss like that," she whispered, a soft blush blossoming on her cheeks as she looked into his bright blue eyes.
"We didn't kiss like that," he whispered back to her, his breath bathing her lips and sealing his words with another short kiss, "and, thank you, by the way."
"What for?" she asked moving closer into him, in no mood to leave their embrace.
"For being all jealous," he said with a self-satisfied smile. She snorted, but her cheeks became a little more crimson. Then he added, "my balls are back in place now, too."
She laughed out loud at that and cupped his cheek in her palm as he grinned.
"Come on," he said, taking her hand. "I wanna show you something."
Monica raised her eyebrows as he pulled her out of the neighbor's house. They stopped briefly to talk with the realtor, who wondered why Janice had suddenly changed her mind and left. Monica and Chandler feigned ignorance then said a quick goodbye, leaving the confused woman on the neighbor's stoop as they strolled hand-in-hand down the sidewalk.
Chandler stopped at the walkway to their house. As Monica faced the front door he stepped behind her and slipped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. She melted back into him as the trees from the sidewalk swayed in the breeze. The leaves' shadows cast dancing light along the sidewalk and all the way up to the walkway of their soon-to-be new home.
"This is our future," he said quietly, following her eyes toward the front of their house. "There is nothing else that matters but you, me and little Hemingway Bing and all the adventures we are going to have right here, in this house."
"You're not letting Hemingway go, are ya?" she said, grinning with tears in her eyes.
"No, I'm not," he said matter-of-factly with a little smirk, then he continued. "The past is the past. I love you and only you and I always, always will."
Monica bit her lip and smiled, pulling his arms tighter around her. He was right. This was it. This was perfect and - Janice or no Janice - her future was brighter than she'd ever imagined. Because of him. Because of them. Still, she had to tease him...
"So, 'I love you' is my cue to run, right?" she asked. She felt him chuckle against her ear.
"Only if you want to, my love," he said softly.
"I do," she said. With one more look at their perfect house and their perfect lawn, she turned in her perfect husband's arms and smiled up at his ginning face.
"I want to run away with you into our perfect future," she whispered. "I love you, Chandler."
"I love you, too, Monica," he said, before lowering his lips to hers and once again sealing forever with a kiss.
NOTE: Howdy all! This little one shot had to find a way to escape my brain, so I hope you enjoyed. Lots of real estate transactions in my neck of the words, so this one has been on my mind for some time.
Haven't forgotten you, or Girl Crush or I Call Baby. Just not finding the time. That may soon change, for a little while anyway. I will be off work for surgery this fall (nothing too major but it will keep me off my feel for a bit) and I may just have time to dedicate to writing fanfiction while I heal. I hope so, anyway! Hope you liked this little bit of fluffy jealousy. As always, please let me know :)