Renfield's note: Master says that anything different in the story from the episode is because she liked the story better that way. Master did not "forget" what happened. This takes place after Suboshi the little forgetting kiss. Master also wishes to say she does not own Fushigi Yuugi. Remember: the reviews are the life.
dodger-chan: Good Renfield. You may read any reviews I get after I'm done.
Renfield: Oh, thank you master!
I hold you in my arms. Lay you down on the bank. Your face is so calm and relaxed. You look like you're sleeping. But it's an unnatural sleep. You're still bleeding a little. I did my best to stop it, but there's only so much I can do. You will be all right, though, in spite of me. I know I should leave you. I need to get away before they get here. The people who will find you. I can't be here when they come for you.
I just can't bring myself to let you go.
If I let go you'll disappear. From my life, at least. I'll never see you again. I won't be a whole person anymore. Because I'm not, without you. As long as I'm holding onto you, you're still here with me. So I just can't let go.
I'm being stupid again. I'm always being stupid, aren't I? I never think; I'm no good at it. You were the one with the mind. How would you explain it to your idiot brother? Time won't stop just because I do. Just because I want it to. Time will keep passing and you'll wake up and you won't remember me.
You won't remember me.
The thought hurts. I clutch at your hand in pain but it doesn't help. It gets worse. Hanging onto you won't help. I need to let go. Those people, the ones in that village, they'll find you. They'll take care of you. They'll do all that I can't. You can grow up there. You can be a farmer. You can get married and have kids. A son, maybe even twins. No, not twins. You'll be happy. You can have the life you've always wanted, now. The life you would have had without me.
I am sorry about that. I know your life would have been better without me. I've known almost forever. I used to wonder why you didn't just leave me somewhere. You could have. People always liked you, even when they hated me. But you never did. You kept me with you. Because you love me.
Why do you love me? Stupid question. I don't understand now and I never will. It's enough that you do. Even if only out of a vague memory of fraternal duty.
Memory?
You won't love me when you wake up?
You won't love me anymore. I'll be nothing to you. What would you think of me? If we met and you didn't already love me? With everything I am and after everything I've done. You'd hate me. You'll hate me as much as everyone else.
I dropped your hand.
This is it, then. No way to turn back. We have different lives to lead, now. You're not mine anymore. But even though you don't know it, I'm still yours.
The young girl saw the boy lying by the river. When she went to see if he was alive, she was startled by a form walking away.
"Are you his ghost?" she called after it, for the apparition looked just like the wounded boy. The figure shook his head.
"Not a ghost. Just a memory long forgotten."