Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken and never will (although I wish I did) I don't own LOTR, Final Fantasy or anything else I might put in these stories except I do own Jin's soul and lawn gnome skittles©
Tekken's hapless misadventures of misfortune
It all started out when they were sitting around a campfire and Paul decided to tell scary stories. "Okay, so then Kazuya hit me with a 2X4 and put me in a box with Law. That was horrifying." *Everyone stares* "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Then when they were going to bed and that's when the bad dreams started. (Of course so did Paul's snoring and the spreading of Bryan's halitosis) "GOD DAMNIT HARI I TOLD YOU IF YOU MADE ONE MORE CRACK ABOUT THAT I'D KILL YOU!!!" (Hey, now who wouldn't even have been here if it weren't for me?) "Fine…get me a cappuccino while you're thinking up your next idea, okay? (No.) "I really truly hate you…I do I do I do oooooooooh." (Okay let me get back to the story) So Kazuya was dreaming of rainbow ponies and happy bunnies…that'll make a grown man cry, really, I mean…that's just scary. So here's how it went…*Eerie Kiddy Music* La la la la la la la la! "AHHHH!!! MAKE IT STOP!" Bunny: Hiya Mr. Kazuya would you like a hug? Kazuya: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (I don't even want to tell you the rest) Bryan was having a dream about swirling gas…HALITOSIS! Bryan: Where am I? Man, this place reeks! (HA! You admit it!) What? This is … HAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIITTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!! Oh well, just a dream. Paul's dream went like this *Snore snore snore* Okay, nice dream…
NEXT MORNING "Boy, what a nice morning" said Bryan. Everyone around him was wearing gas masks. Bryan just decided to jump in a pile of horse manure and suffocate himself. "No more halitosis! YAY" said the gang. All the sudden Hwoarang ran out of his tent with a hole in his shoulder and skittles attached to his forehead. "AHHH!!! The goddamn lawn gnome shot me! I was shot by a mother F***ING LAWN GNOME!!!" He then fell over dead. "Well that takes care of him," said Jin. "Hey did you guys have any weird dreams last night?" Jin asked. "Yeah I had-"SHUT UP" but…" Paul being so rudely interrupted by Jin went over to his corner and pouted. "Yeah I had a dream…about bunnies…and, and I CAN'T STAND IT!" Kazuya then ran off crying. "Dude, that just made it worse" said Hwoarang. "I thought you were dead…" replied Jin. "Oh yeah" Hwoarang fell over and died again. You might be asking "How did Hwoarang come back to life?" It was the magical Lawn Gnome Skittles …anyway. Kazuya came back with a bong… "Hey man it's not for me…it's for the lawn gno *gets shot* ouch…" *Falls Over dead* "Hey Hari…why is everyone dying…" (I don't know…guess I'll rewind…) "Hey man it's not for me it's for the lawn gnome" Lawn gnome walks over "DUUUUUUUUUDE" "This is whack…I'm going home"
AT HOME **Ogre jumps through window** "I'VE GOT LOTTERY TICKETS" "DAMNIT OGRE THAT'S THE SECOND WINDOW THIS WEEK" Kazuya was so busy screaming at Ogre that he didn't notice the Masamune being jabbed through his chest… "I AM EVIL" (Sephiroth get out of my story) **Pouts and leaves** Cloud: Hey you guys where's Sephiroth? Guys? Kazuya: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE STORY Cloud: **Pouts and leaves** "Ummm…dad you've still got a hole through you…" "Oh yeah…" **falls over and dies** (I AM GOD! Now please come back to life) **Rises from the dead** "Hey you guys he's alive" said Ogre, the crew then started to have a celebration. They lifted some random old man on to a giant doughnut and started throwing him in the air and singing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" "This is boring…" said Ogre. They all agreed and moved out of the way. The old man fell to his doom. "You guys we just killed an old man…wait a second" **Pulls on something on the old man** "THIS IS HEIHACHI" screamed Jin…"We shall now take over G Corporation! MWAHAHAHAHAHA"
AT G CORPORATION "Okay you all work for me now" Kazuya said to the Zaibatsu. One of the Zaibatsu members raised his hand. "Yes? What would you like?" asked Kazuya. The Zaibatsu man responded "So no more crazy old man that wears a diaper?" "Yes, that is correct," responded Kazuya. The Zaibatsu started to cheer but they got too happy so they all exploded.
"Ummm…what was that?" asked Jin. "I used my mind powers to kill them," said Kazuya. **Everyone staring** "Fine so it was Ogre but…so what, I is BETTER" "No you're not," said Jin. **Gets shot* "OW" Gang: Mr. Lawn Gnome AHAHAHA! **all get shot** Gang: OW!
A/N TO BE CONTINUED! CHAP 2 IS ON THE WAY!